Friday, March 4, 2016

When is the Right Time to Let Someone Go?

                         "If someone makes you miserable more than they make you happy,
                                         it doesn´t matter how much you love them,
                                                       you need to let them go"
                                                               - Unknown

                                 "Never lose yourself while trying to hold on to someone
                                                  who doesn´t care about losing you"

Why do we continue to allow the same people to hurt and to disappoint us over and over again?
Maybe it is because we are not yet ready to let go of certain people or maybe we are hoping that something will change.

If a person is not willing to work on themselves, change some destructive behavior, to grow and to try a little harder to be better, then I suggest that it is time to let that person go.

I was in a marriage with an alcoholic for almost 16 years. And the reasons I stated above are exactly the reason that I wouldn't let go and move on.

I told myself that he was really nice and caring when he was sober. I knew that eventually he had to change. No one could continue to behave in this way.
Well, I was wrong. He never changed during our marriage. I finally had to change and walk away. But I stayed for many years hoping and wishing things would change.

After my marriage ended I started another relationship with a wonderful man who was the total opposite of my ex husband. It was great for a few years then things changed drastically, almost overnight. After living in misery for a couple of months, thinking things would change I quickly sought help from a therapist and it didn´t take long for her to discover what was going on with this man.....he was a narcissist.
This time I didn´t waste a lot of time. I didn´t know much about narcissism at the time but I got on the internet right away to learn. After learning a lot about narcissism I realized that there was no reason to wait around for things to change or for this person to try and work on himself. It would never happen. I decided that I wasn´t willing to stick around for any more abuse and mistreatment.
I left....and I have never looked back.

What I have learned is that there is absolutely no reason to keep someone in your life that is not interested of being in it. If a person is not willing to work on themselves to try harder to be better and to grow, it is time to get rid of this person.

By getting rid of what isn´t working in your life you will open up a space for something new and more exciting to move in. The Universe loves vacuum and will eventually fill it with something better that what you had.

Sometimes we just have to drop the pieces and move forward in life, accepting where we are and what happened, so that we can continue to grow and work towards bigger and better goals and achievements.

     "When someone truly cares about you they make an effort,
                                      not an excuse"

It has now been four years since I walked away from my narcissistic partner. The journey back to self has not been easy but I quickly decided to never ask myself WHY? Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? or why did this man do this? There will never be an answer to these questions. And the longer I hang on to the past the longer I will suffer. So it was time to forgive and to move on

Instead I asked....Now what? What can I do to change this I don´t become the victim and constantly repeating my story to anyone who wants to listen...... for the rest of my life?

I decided  to turn my "wound into wisdom" and not to waste my "suffering" and my experience.
I decided to become a lifecoach...... because I knew that I had valuable information that other people in my situation desperately needed.

I know that I can be the bridge from darkness to light...... from crisis to getting back on track.

I am so happy that I now get to help people to look up a little higher than where they are at the moment and to help them see what is possible for them in the future.

Together we can paint a better picture of the future.

If I can do can YOU!

                                         Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

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