Monday, April 23, 2018

Get Ready.....Get Going.....Get In The Game

                                                  "The time for action is NOW.
                                              It's never too late to do something."
                                                          - Carl Sandburg

                               "Imperfect action beats perfect inaction every time."
                                                         - Harry S. Truman

What do you really, really want in life?
Whatever it is.....get going NOW.

Maybe you want to be successful in business? Maybe having your own business? Or becoming an entrepreneur?
The important thing is that you start taking action TODAY.

Get in the game. Begin now, from where you are, and with whatever you've got.

Get going in the field that you want to be in.
Action always beats inaction.
Trust that once you get in the game that you will be able to make intelligent decisions in the present moment.

Make correction and adjust your sail along the way.

Successful people take action.
Unsuccessful won't do anything unless they have identified all possible problems and know exactly what to do about them. They believe that they have to know everything in advance which is absolutely impossible.
They are always preparing and they seldom take action. They will see obstacles where successful people will see opportunities.

There is no way you will ever be able to figure out everything before you get started.
Trust in your yourself and your own ability that you will be able to solve and handle any future obstacles and emergencies.

Successful people see opportunity and they jump on it and therefore they will eventually win.
Unsuccessful people don't take action and therefore they will loose.

1. Get in the game. Begin now with whatever you've got.

2. Practice optimism. It will drive negative people crazy and away from you.

3. Focus on what you have. Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for in your life right now.
Read it out load twice a day for 30 days.

Think of the consequences if you do nothing.

You will never what doors that will open for you in the future.
But you have to get started.

                                   "You are what you do, not what you say you'll do."
                                                                 - Carl Jung


Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Make Plans For The Future, But Live Now

                                                          Learn from the past.
                                                           Plan for the future.
                                                           Live in the present.

A good friend of mine has been under a lot of stress for sometime and a while back she decided to try meditation as an alternative to reduce some of her stress and also to become more present and stop trying to constantly multitask.

A few days ago I was asking her how she was coming along with her new meditation habit.

She told me that she was doing okay, but that it was quite difficult to force herself to calm down, be in the moment and be able to meditate on a daily base.

I started meditating many years ago and I do know that it takes quite a bit of practice to be able to quiet the mind and to manage to sit still for even 5 minutes. It will take constant practice and some days are better than others.
The important thing is not to quit when you start a new habit. It will get easier. Keep on going.

Your mind will tell you all kinds of stories, why you won't be able to do what you are trying to do and why you should just forget about it.
Don't listen to that voice.

Another problem is that everybody wants instantaneous results. It doesn't have to be good results. Just fast.

Look at fast food. Is it really good? No, but it's fast.

When we were babies we wanted our needs tended to as quickly as possible. Sleep, eat and then our diaper changed.

As children get older it still takes a while before they can perform any type of action that doesn't produce instant results.

One thing we love about children is that they live in the moment. They can't grasp that the present moment will affect the future because they haven't had enough experience doing one thing continuously and having a specific result come from it eventually.

This is true about children but unfortunately it is also true when it comes to a lot of adults.

We hear a lot about being in the present moment. I think it is great thing to learn to be fully present with what you are doing in the moment or being fully there, in conversations with others.

If you are in the personal development field then you probably want to change the direction of your life, but at the same time you also want to be more present NOW.
This almost sounds like a big paradox.
Be here NOW..... but you also want to change your direction of your life.

Can we do both?
Yes, I do believe that it is the perfect approach.
Be fully present now, while you are thinking, planning and taking action that will lead your life in the direction you want it to go in the future.

So this is what I have to say to my good friend......
Keep on going. You are doing better than you think you are!
Good habits will take some time to develop. Nothing worthwhile is easy. But one year from now your body and your mind will thank you for sticking with it.

Yes we can be here NOW..... while planning and taking action to create the future that we want.


Monday, April 16, 2018

Revise The Files In Your Mind

                                                  What consumes your mind,
                                                         controls your life.

Revise the files in your mind.....what does that really mean?

It means to unlearn some old and useless information and beliefs, to make room for a new way of thinking.

To be happy and successful in life, isn't just about learning new things. It's also about unlearning or letting go of what isn't true. Like old stories, ideas, beliefs from parent, siblings, teachers, friends, co-workers, spouses and also society.

Change isn't easy, but it's absolutely possible and within your power.

If you want to change what is visible, you first must change what is invisible. In other words, if you change the inside the outside will fall into place.

Your outer world is always a reflection of your inner world.

I'm sure you have heard that your own thoughts create your reality.

Thoughts leads to feelings. Feelings leads to action, which then leads to results.

Where does your thoughts come from?
Why do you think the way you do? Or why do you think differently from another person?

Your thoughts originate from the files that you have stored in your own subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is like a filing cabinet and in that cabinet you have stored everything that ever happened to you.

Where does this information come from?
It comes from your past programming. Your past conditioning determines every thought that comes up in your mind.

Your old programming or conditioning leads to your thoughts.
Thoughts leads to your feelings.
Feelings leads to action.
Action leads to results.

Change your programming (Just like you change a program in a computer) and you can change your results.

Most of us are programmed by our own parents.
How did we get programmed?
From what our parents said, what they modeled in front of us and also from incidents or experiences.

Unfortunately as we grow up we take on programming and beliefs that are not our own and they have nothing to do with us. We have old information that doesn't reflect who we are. We continue to live with old programming and sometimes it will set us up for failure because this programming is very outdated, wrong and not our own and it's not based on who we are.

Subconscious conditioning determines our thinking. Our thinking determines our decisions.
Our decisions determines our action and eventually our action will determine our outcome or results.

How Do We Change This Programming?

You cannot change something that you are not aware of. If you don't know that it exists you won't change it.

By understanding why you think the way you do. Where your way of thinking originated, you can recognize that it didn't come from you. If came from outside of you. Maybe a parent, teacher, sibling or friend.

Once you realize that this way of thinking isn't YOU, you can separate yourself from it and choose to either keep it or to let it go.
Where you are today as an adult, you can observe this way of thinking and see if for what it is.....a file of information that was stored in your mind a long time ago, and it might not be your truth and it might not have any value to you anymore. You can now choose to let it go.

Recondition Your Mind
Expose yourself to new information and to new people that will generate the life that you want.
Rewire your subconscious. Retrain your mind for lasting change by frequently working on your mind and also by getting support around you. Spend time with people who also have adapted your new way of thinking. Find mentors, read books, go to seminars. Model people that have already created the life that you also want to create and ultimately live.


Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Who Are You In The Process OF Becomming?

                                                          - I Know For Sure -
                                         What we dwell upon is who we become.
                                                           - Oprah Winfrey

Each and everyone of us are in a constant process of becoming, growing and evolving in the direction of our dominant thoughts.

Our bodies are also in a state of growing and becoming. Our physical evolution is affected by the food that we put into our bodies and our mental evolution and growth is largely determined by the thoughts that we put into our mind.

Anything that you think about, long enough and hard enough, will eventually become a part of your mental process. It will eventually affect your attitude and also your behavior.

In other words, anything that you dwell upon will eventually grow and your it will become your reality.

Whatever thoughts that you have allowed to pre-occupy your mind over the years, have now become your reality and it has affected where you are today.

Not only have you made yourself into what you are today but you are continuing the process of construction with every thought that you think.


So the smartest thing anyone can do is to persistently think the thoughts that are consistent with the person that they would like to be or become.

The more we think about and dwell upon the person that we would like to be and the qualities that we would like to have, the more these thoughts are being planted in our subconscious mind and eventually they will become part of our reality.

Thought is creative. Thought in mind will produce after it's kind. In other attracts like.

Start today by taking full and purposeful control over the contents of your conscious mind. Discipline yourself to keep your thoughts on only the things that you desire and off the things that you fear and don't want in your life.

Remember that your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.

What you see on the outside is merely a reflection of what is going on the inside.

You are the only one that creates you reality.


Monday, April 9, 2018

Stress Free Zone

                                                              "Slow down.
                                                               Calm down.
                                                               Don't worry.
                                                                Don't hurry.
                                                           Trust the process."
                                                       - Alexandra Stoddard

One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm.
Our ability to remain calm and to be able to manage our emotions when we are under pressure is a wonderful skill to have. This skill is a direct link to how well we will perform.

It's known that top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control.

We all know how stress can wreak havoc both on a person's physical and also mental health. I am talking about prolonged stress. If the stress doesn't last for a long period of is harmless.
Remember that it's important to keep stress under control as much as possible.

Stress will unfortunately increase a person's risk of developing heart disease, depression, obesity and it will also decrease our cognitive performance.

Most of our stress in actually under our own control and today I will share a few comping strategies that can help you reduce your stress level and make sure that the stress doesn't get prolonged and that it won't affect your physical and mental health.

One of the easiest ways of reducing stress is just to simply breathe. Practice of being in the moment will make your brain focus entire on the task at hand.
When you feel stressed, take a couple of minutes and simply focus on your breathing. Turn off all distractions and find a quiet place and focus on how it feels to breathe in and out. It's sounds simple but in the beginning your mind might wander, but all your need to do then is to simply bring your thoughts back to your breathing. The goal is to be able to spend the entire time on your breathing. Start with one minute and as you get better at focusing entirely on your breathing, then you can add another minute or two.


Take time to focus on what you are grateful for in your life. This will automatically improve your mood. Cultivating the habit of gratitude will give you more energy. You will feel a sense of well-being and it will elevate your mood.
Learn to develop and attitude of gratitude.


When you make yourself constantly available to others, you are exposing yourself to a lot of stress. Force yourself offline and turn off your phone once in a while. Doing this will give your body a break from a constant barrage of stressors.
How about starting with disconnecting one day a week?
Or turning off you email after 7pm to give yourself a chance to re-charge your body and your mind?
As you get more comfortable with disconnecting, your co-workers begin to accept the time you spend off line and off the phone and then you can gradually expand the amount of time that you spend away from technology.
Technology is suppose to make our lives easier.....not more difficult.


When you sleep your brain is recharging. It sorts through all the day's memories and then it stores and discards them so that you can wake up the next morning feeling alert and clear-headed.
Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on their own, even without any other stressors being present.
Make sure that you take enough time to get a decent night's sleep in order to keep the stress away and getting things under control.

Negative Self- Talk

Stop all negative self-talk, right away. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are not facts.....they are just thoughts. Stop believing all your negative and pessimistic thoughts.
Make a list of your negative thoughts. Right down what you are thinking in the moment will allow you to later when you are more clear-headed to examine and evaluate what you wrote down.
Ask this really true? You can also show what you wrote down to a trusted friend and ask them if they agree.

Stay Positive

Positive thoughts will make you re-focus your attention on what is working in your life. This is easy to do when things are going well in your life and it might be a little more difficult when things are falling apart or going poorly and your mind is flooded with negative thoughts.
We must give our wandering brains a little help by consciously select something positive to think about.

Pay Attention To What You Eat And Drink

Too much caffeine can put your body in the "fight-or-flight" response by triggering the release of the hormone adrenaline.
Pay attention to what you put in your body. You want to fuel your body with things that will give you long lasting energy, not just a quick fix.


Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Beware Of Negative People

                                                    Whatever you do, good or bad,
                                  people will always have something negative to say.

Are you one of those people who possess a positive outlook on life?

Even if you are..... it might be a good idea to avoid negative and pessimistic people, especially those who are critical of your big dreams and goals.

Even if most of us try to avoid negativity in our own minds, what we speak of and what we write, it has a way of sometimes entering our conscious mind and also our subconscious mind.

So when difficulties and smaller setbacks arise it's natural to begin to wonder if your non-supportive friends and critics weren't right after all.

Life offers us plenty of things to be negative about and sometimes if feels like life is trying to beat us all down. So the more we can avoid negative people the better off we will be.

We need all the positive thoughts and images that we can get in order to fight the never ending stream of negativity and pessimism that is being thrown at us on a daily base. Some of the nicest and most helpful people can be very negative and that makes them even more dangerous than the negative person that is angry and nasty all the time.

Negativity can sneak up on you and it can do it's damage to you before you knew what hit you. In fact negativity, complaining and pessimism often comes from the people closest to us. Particularly family members can be hard to deal with. A spouse, friend or co-worker offering advice may be well meaning, but his/her observations and conclusions can still be wrong.

Constructive criticism and advice from the right person can be worth a fortune, while ill-intended criticism from the wrong person can do more that tear us down. It can damage our self-esteem and prevent us from pursuing our goals and the ultimate vision for our life.

Be careful who you take constructive criticism or advice from. Do you respect this person handing out the criticism? Does he/she have their own life in order? If the answer is no, just thank the person for their advice. Delete their advice from your mind and walk away.

Sometimes the agendas of others is simply to be able to discourage us from trying to do something that they themselves have been unable to do. Some people just love to discourage others. These kinds of people are very bad news because they will try to chip away at our self-confidence.

Someone who always criticizes others is just an unhappy person. They thrive on the opportunity to be able to pull others down to their level. If you are not careful this kind of person will portray themselves as your best friend and mentor and once you have confided in them about your life they will fool you to believe that they themselves are well adjusted and problem free and soon they will make you psychologically dependent on them.
Ill-intended criticism from the wrong party can become a huge obstacle in your life and in your pursuit of your big dream.

Remember that the only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing or be nothing.   
- Aristotle 

The more successful you will become, the more you will be criticized.


Monday, April 2, 2018

Self-Respect Starts With You

                              People need to understand that if they don't respect themselves,
                                                         then no one will respect them.

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend last week and we talked about life in general and how to be happier and to have more peace of mind. After discussing this subject for a while, I asked my friend......what do you want?

She thought about this question for a while and then she answered.....I want to respect myself more.

One of the first questions that I always ask all my coaching clients is.....What Do You Want?

You will be surprised to find out that most people can't answer this question.
One reason for this is that no one have asked them this question for a very long time. And they haven't asked themselves this question either for a very long time.
Often we get so wrapped up in life and other people's agenda that we often just go along and we put our own dreams and desires on the back burner and sometimes we end up living a life that is out of alignment of who we truly are.

Back to my coaching clients. After thinking about this questions for a while, the answers that I get the majority of times are.....

I want to respect myself 
I want to love myself
I want take good care of myself

I have heard these same answer so many times.

So my question is .....
What is self respect?
And what does self-respect look like to you?

Today I want to share 12 things that I believe will help us get more respect for ourselves.

1. Speak Kindly To Yourself?
Pay attention to what you say to yourself, because you are always listening.
It's amazing how nasty we can be to ourselves. We say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else and if we did..... we would probably end up in jail.
Start paying attention to your self talk. Maybe you need to change the way you talk to yourself? Everything starts with your thinking and you can control your own thoughts. We don't have control over a lot of things but we do have control over our thoughts and our own self talk.
Time to clean up your vocabulary. Self love, self compassion and self-respect starts here.

2. Take Care Of Your Physical Health?
What do you eat and drink on a regular base? Over eating is not a good way to show yourself love and respect. How about too much drinking or smoking? I am not talking about a little alcohol. I love a good glass of chardonnay once in a while, but not all the time.
How about exercising? Are you moving your body on a regular base? You don't have to spend time at the gym every day, but I am talking about a brisk walk 5-6 times per week.
How about sleep? Most of us need about 7-9 hours per night. Make sure you get plenty of sleep to help your body to heal and to re-charge. 

3. Clean Out Your Environment?
Are you living in a cluttered home? Maybe it's time to clean out some old stuff that you no longer need. Make room for some new things to enter your life by getting rid of old stuff that no longer serves you. Have things neatly organized can save you a lot of time when you are trying to find things. Clean out you house, your office, your garage, closets, refrigerator and don't forget your car. Having a clean home will make you feel happy and energized.

4. De-Clutter Your Relationships
Some friendships might have gotten a little stagnant and they need to go. If people around you don't want to grow and their energy feels wrong to you....maybe it's time to do a little spring cleaning. Some people are just negative, gossiping and complaining all the time. If you spend time around these kinds of people it will eventually rub off on you. Don't let your loyalty become slavery.
Learn to let them go. 

5. Don't Stay In Situations Or Relationships That No Longer Makes You Happy
Don't remain in a job that you hate or that makes makes you feel unfulfilled. Most of us spend 40 hours per week at work, make sure that you enjoy what you do. If you want to leave your current job but at unable to do so at the moment, because you have bills to pay make sure that you start creating a game-plan to leave, when the right opportunity arises. 
Don't remain in an intimate relationship with someone because you don't want to be alone. If your intimate relationships don't work other areas in your life will also be affected. Same thing with a job that you don't enjoy. It will affect all areas of your life. 
Respect yourself and walk away from things that do not longer work in your life.
Don't remain somewhere because it's the easiest thing to do.

6. Create A New Vision For Your Life
Sit down and think about what you want to do with your life. Dream a little. Come up with a few new inspiring goals and maybe even a new vision for your life. Goals are like a huge magnet. They will pull you through almost anything. Make sure that you establish some new and empowering goals. Without a vision it will be hard to stay excited about life.

7. Be Selective To What You Allow To Enter Your Mind
Pay attention to what you listen to on TV. What you read online and in the newspaper. It's hard to live a happy and fulfilling life if you load up on what is wrong with the world. What is wrong is always available. Instead try to find things that is right with the world. It's hard to live a positive life if you fill it negative images and messages.
Stand guard at the door of your own mind because you have to live with the results of what you allow to enter into your mind.

8. Spend Some Time Alone
We are surrounded by noise everywhere we go. Everyone and everything is trying to get out attention. Learn to disconnect once in a while and spend sometime with YOU. Reflect on what is going on in your life. Allow yourself to dream and to create. We don't have enough time to be creative anymore. Being creative is fun and it can open the door to many new things if you just allow yourself to be still and quiet for a while.
Make sure that you don't overwork just because you don't want to be alone or because you need to be validated. Make sure that you get plenty of recharge time. Maybe learn to meditate?

9. Always Be Present
Get together with people. Don't just send them an email or a text. Make time to actually meet in person. And when you do get together, put the phone away. Be there, with the that person. They are the most important person at the time. Plan dates with your spouse, children, parents and friends. No one is too busy. It's all about priorities. Don't spend time with people that are constantly checking their phone when you are together. Don't lower your standards for anyone or anything.
In the teach people how to treat you.
Learn to say NO.

10. Start A Savings Account
Have some extra money saved up will give you freedom in all areas of life. Decide to put away a certain amount of money every month and learn to live on the rest. I call my savings account "My Freedom" account. You can start with a small amount and then increase it as time goes by. You will be amazed how much better you will feel when you don't have to worry about money all the time.

11. Forgive Others And Forgive Yourself
Forgive everyone including yourself. People that have betrayed you and did your wrong. Let it go. Parents that didn't take good care of you and didn't give you what you needed. Forgive them. They did the best they could, and they gave you what had been given to them by their parents.
Forgive yourself for what you have done in the past. Learn from if and then let it go. Know that today you would not do what the younger version of you did. When you know better - you do better.
Understand yourself and your own journey. Then set yourself free by letting it go.

12. Self-Acceptance
Accept yourself the way you are. Flaws and all. You are unique. There will never be another you, ever again. Celebrate yourself . You have talents that no one else have. Learn to use them.
Know that you are worthy of good things in life. You have value and you do have something to offer this world.

                                    "I forgive myself for having believed for so long,
                         that I was never good enough to have, get & be what I wanted."
                                                         - Geanna DeRohan

Now..... it's your do you define self-respect?
Do you agree with my list above?
Maybe you have some ideas that you want to add to the list?

Please leave your comments below.


Wednesday, March 28, 2018

The Journey To Success

                      "If you want to have more, you have to become more.
                           For things to change for you, you have to change.
                            For things to get better, you have to get better.
                               For things to improve, you have to improve.
                                 If you grow, everything grows for you."
                                                    - Jim Rohn

What do you want to do with your life?

Identify exactly what it is that you want. It might take you a while to figure this one out.
After you figure out what you want .....then don't let anything get in your way of getting it.

Your future is your responsibility.
No one is going to do things for you. No one is going to solve your problems for you. It's up to you. You are responsible for you.

Do you want to add value to the world? Great.
So many people would like to do something wonderful for others. It's a great vision to have. But first you have to learn and accumulate the skills required that you would like to teach others.

This is where everyone must start on the journey of success.
It doesn't matter what age you are, if you want to help others you must first require the skills needed to do the job. You can't give away to others, what you don't have.
In other words you must get experience.

You can just walk into a financial office without any training or experience, and demand to be paid $50 an hour.
You must first study, learn, experience and then become a master of your craft. Then you will get paid what you deserve.

It doesn't matter if you want to become a sales person, insurance agent, coaching people online, internet marketer, musician, author or some kind of entrepreneur.....the path will look the same.

Figure out what you want to do
Study other people that have already done what you are trying to do
Find a mentor
Go to seminars

Then you must be willing to take some chances. Be willing to act when opportunity arises.

If you can find a mentor....there are plenty of mentors online. I have a lot of virtual mentors and it works very well. You can also find mentors at the public library. At the library you will find an endless amount of books written by people letting you know how they did it . How they succeeded. But you must read the books to get the valuable information.

After accumulating knowledge you must constantly apply what you have learned.
Your studies are not complete without practice. There is no real substitute for real world experience. Can't stay at the library all the time or in front of your computer.
You actually have to go out in the real world.

Then you must be willing to fail.
Take action, get feedback, learn from your mistakes and do better next time.
Continue to improve. Study the masters.

Your journey to success might take you halfway around the world as you seek out greater wisdom and opportunity.
Don't tell me that you can't.....because you can.

Keep on learning. Keep on practicing. Keep on failing forward and eventually you will become so good that people and the world can't ignore you.

What can you to, starting today to make yourself more valuable to the world?


Monday, March 26, 2018

Why Do You Believe What You Believe?

                                                  "Don't limit yourself.
                      Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do.
                                      You can go as far as your mind goes.
                             What you believe, remember, you can achieve."
                                                    - Mary Kay ash

Have you ever analyzed your own thought patterns?

Have you ever really analyzed why you think the way that you do?

Why do you believe what you believe?

Why do you believe these things to be true..... or not true?

Most people never really ask themselves.....WHY do I believe that?

Do you know that almost all of your belief, you have inherited? It's true.

You have inherit the thought patterns of your parents, your siblings, teachers, friends and spouses.

Actually it dates even further back into your genetic nature.

From the moment of conception, you ancestors have built right into your genes.

And because of this we have a lot of ideas and beliefs locked up in our minds that are not true and they violate the laws of this Universe, and that is what causing a lot of our problems.

The thoughts that you repeatedly think becomes fixed in your mind, and those thoughts are then going to determine what happens in your life.

No matter how many people believe or don't believe in you,
you must be the ultimate believer in yourself.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about


If you believe that something is possible for you
Then you will take more action
Which then will then give you bigger and better results
And that will show you that your belief was right, that it was possible for you.

Now the opposite is also true

If you don't really believe that something is possible for you
Then you will take very little action or no action
Which will give small or no results
And what will show up is that your belief was true, that it wasn't possible for you.

The only difference in the example above is your belief.

What do you believe and why do you believe it?

Maybe it is time for you to start examine your belief patterns?

Maybe some of those beliefs are not true at all?


Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Dare To Go Forward In Your Life

                         When you fear your struggles, your struggles consume you.
                                When you face your struggles, you overcome them.

Do the thing that you fear.....and the fear disappears.

Courage is an exceptional quality of leaders and of successful people.

Courage means that you have the ability and  the willingness to confront your fears.

Brave and courageous people are not people who are not afraid. They are simply people who learn to master their fears. The are people who face and confront their fears.

When you confront and do what you fear will eventually disappear.

Fear and courage tend to be habits.
If you are afraid and you give in to the fear and back away, that tends to be a habit. It becomes a habit to back away whenever you face something that makes you afraid or unsure.

On the other hand, if you are afraid and you force yourself to confront your fear, it too becomes a habit. It becomes a habit to face and confront what you fear and what makes you uncomfortable.

You will find that most fears disappear when you confront them.
Fears like..... fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of pain, fear of the loss of a relationship, fear of losing money or fear of bad health, disappear when you confront them head on.

As you push against your fear, it will just disappear.....just like smoke.

Dare to go forward in your life. Dare to go forward in the direction of your dreams and fulfilling your potential.

Always move forward, even if it's only half a step at a time. Always move forward. Because when you are moving forward..... 100% of your attention is forward.

But when you are moving backwards even if it's a tiny step, your attention is then on where you are going. So always move forward.

When you have a choice dare to go forward instead of standing still and playing it safe....go forward.

Courage doesn't mean that you are never afraid.
It simply means that if you are not afraid once in a while..... you are trying hard enough.
You are living too far within your own comfort zone.

Always live on the outside edge of what you are capable of.

What fear do you need to face today?
What fear is holding you back from taking the next step and to develop your full potential?

Face The Fear..... and by facing will certainly disappear.


Monday, March 19, 2018

You Have To Participate In Your Own Rescue

                                               "The game of life has two participants,
                                                     spectators and players. Pick one."
                                                                    - Unknown

You are responsible for your own life. You are responsible for YOU.

Stop sitting around waiting on someone to come and rescue you.

Don't waste your time waiting on someone to fix you or to even help you.

You are the only one that have the power to take responsibility and to move your life forward.

You know..... life happens to all of us.
It rains on the poor and it rains on the rich.
The only question is.....what are you going to do about your life when difficult things happen?
When life didn't go as you planned?
When you lost a loved one or your business failed? Or your best friend betrayed you or your spouse divorced you? When you got struck by an illness or had to give up on the life that you had created?
Are you just going to sit around and feeling sorry for yourself? Or are you going to stand back up, brush yourself off and keep on walking?

You know.....what you decide to do is entirely up to you.

Unfortunately many people will allow a setback, loss or difficulties to cripple them and keep them stuck, causing them to miss out on the next chapter in their life.

I think that a lot of us know that change is necessary in order for us to grow and to move to the next level of our lives. Yet, we sometimes simply refuse to address it.
We postpone making decisions to another day.  

Stop looking at the closed door. Turn around and face the open door.
Have faith that what lies in front of you is bigger than what you left behind.
Start focusing on the wonderful possibilities that lie ahead.

Create a plan.
You must take charge of your own life and quickly get back on track. You might not have the perfect plan but you can figure out the next step, even if it's not perfect.
The longer you stay stuck, the harder it will be to get going again.

Study, learn, reflect as much as you can.
It will help you move along and it will help you understand what is going on.
There isn't anything that you can't find out. If you don't know...... google it.
Read books and articles. Listen to seminars and podcasts. Join a support group where you live or you can also find them online.
Get a mentor, hire a coach or a therapist.
Learn and then apply the new knowledge and your new understanding. Become a student of your own life. Sort through everything and keep the necessary knowledge.
You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.
Pay attention.

Action is key.
Not much will happen if you don't apply what you learn.
Sitting on the coach or staying in bed,  is not going to get you where you want to go.
Do the inner work and put yourself back together..... piece by piece.
Design and build your life. Commit to staying on your new path.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

When my own life imploded back in 2012 this is exactly what I was doing. I knew that I had to care enough about myself to get back up and create a new life for myself.  Everything changed within 4 months and there was very little left of my old life.
I knew that no one was going to create a new life for me and no one was going to do the work for me. Only I could do it. I was responsible for rescuing myself from the situation that I was now sitting in.
This is how I started my own coaching business.

I have written a book about my experience back in 2012.
If you haven't read my book..... Bounce Don't Break..... I recommend it.It tells you how to quickly get back on track after life knocks you down.
You can order it at Amazon in The US and in a lot of countries in Europe.

So stop sitting on the sidelines of your life.
Get in the game and start playing again.
In the will be glad that you did.


Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Your Time Is Limited, So Don't Waste It

                                        "It has been my observation that most people
                                             get ahead during the time others waste."
                                                              - Henry Ford

To be productive you must learn to control interruptions.

The biggest interruption today is the phone.

Most people can not resist answering a ringing phone, text message or email.

The phone is an essential part of our lives and we look upon the phone as a social tool.

It's something that we look forward to because we associate it with fun and we also remember back when we were young...... we associated a phone call with romance because we got calls from our boyfriend/girlfriend.

As adults we have to change our thinking and especially during our working hours.
If you are in the middle of doing something important and you get interrupted by a phone call, text or email and you stop working and answer the call, text or email, it can take you as long as 25 minutes to be able to get back to concentrating on what you were doing before you answered the call.

And if the phone call was about something upsetting or negative you might not be able to let go off it at all during the day. Your mind will constantly go back to what was said during the phone call.

Learn to control interruptions. Don't be a slave to your phone. If it's important people will call back or even better call them back at the end of your day when you are through working on your project. That way they won't interrupt your concentration and your flow and you can control the time.

Most people are time wasters. The majority of people have no goals. They have no priorities, no plans and they have no concern about becoming successful and they think that you are the same.

They think that because their time isn't worth anything, therefore they don't think that your time is worth anything either.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it.

Monday, March 12, 2018

The Core Of Success

                                 "The tragedy of life doesn't lie in NOT reaching your goals.
                                           The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach."
                                                             - Benjamin Mays

The core of success..... GOALS.

Have clear, specific and written goals.

All goals must be in writing. You must re-write them. You must define them and re-define them.

Carry your goals around with you.
Keep them in your pocket or in a notebook that you take with you, wherever you go.

What are your goals?

What is it that you want to be?
Or to have?
Or do?

What is it that you want to accomplish in the next 1, 3, 5 or 10 years?

The top 3% of people in every field have clear specific goals for their lives.
The rest of the population have either very vague goals or no goals at all.

Here are a few major questions to ask yourself.

Who am I?
Where am I going?
What do I want to accomplish?

There are 3 major areas of goals that you have to think about.

1. Your personal and your family goals.
What do your want to accomplish for yourself and your family?

2. Your business, your career, financial and your material goals.
What is that you want to accomplish in the external world?
What do you want to contribute to?

3. Your personal or self development goals.
Your ability and your willingness to grow and develop yourself is the key to accomplish everything else.

Here are 3 excellent questions to ask yourself.

Question number one
What would you do, what goal would you set for yourself if you just won a million dollars?
What would you want, or be or have if you all of a sudden were given one million dollars?
What would you do if you had all the time, money and you were completely free to do anything that you wanted to do?
What would you do differently if you had this money?

Here is question number two
What would you do if you learned today that you only had 6 months to live?
What would you stop doing?
What would you start doing?
Who would you spend time with?
The answer to this question will tell you what you really value and what is really important to you.

Question number three
What great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail?
If you knew that success was going to happen no matter what you did, what big dream would you dare to dream?
What big goal would you set for yourself?
Answering this question will tell you the one thing that you were put on this earth to accomplish.

Give these three questions some thought!


Wednesday, March 7, 2018

The Magic Word

                                       "It's only by saying "NO" that you can concentrate
                                                on the things that are really important."
                                                                 - Steve Jobs

In time management there is one magic word.

The word is NO.

Learn to say NO to activities, tasks, responsibilities, obligations that do not contribute to the most important goals that you set for yourself.

NO is really a magic word and the place and the time to use this word is early in a conversation and often.

It's simply amazing how much of  our time is taken up by people that are asking you to do things..... and you do these things out of a sense of obligation.

Unfortunately most people don't value their own time so they don't value yours.

How can we deal with a person that we normally like and respect when they ask us to do something?

When someone asks you to do something, take on a project or to be on a committee.....simply say..... let me think about it, and I'll get back to you.

If someone is pressing you for a decision.....simply explain to them that you cannot make a decision right now and that you have to think about it.

After you thought about if for 24 hours, call them back and tell them that you thought about it and that you simply don't have the time, but you thank them for thinking of you.

                                              "Learn to say "NO" to the good,
                                                 so you say "YES to the best."
                                                           - John Maxwell

Just say NO.

In time management the word NO is one of the most powerful words there is.

It will save you hours, days, weeks and months of working on projects that contributes nothing to your goals.

When you are saying YES to others, make sure that you are not saying NO to yourself.


Monday, March 5, 2018

Always Find Time To Do What Makes You Feel Happy And Alive

                                                 "Don't ask what the world needs;
                                         ask yourself what makes you come alive. 
                                                     And then go and do that.
                           Because what the world needs is people who come alive."
                                                        - Harold Whitman

Have you done anything lately that will make you feel truly happy and alive?

Maybe you have forgotten what makes you feel happy and alive?

So often we allow life to take over and we get so busy that we stop doing the things that would make us truly happy. The things that will energize us and make us feel great.

Remember when you were a kid, it was all about fun and play. But for some reason as we get a little older we forget how to have fun and we forget how to play.
Life takes over and we think that everything has to be so serious.

Maybe you tell yourself ..... "I can do that any longer, I am adult now" or "what would people think if I do this, it's too childish" or "what about if I look stupid doing it or I can't do it?" and the reasons and the excuses go and on and on and you probably won't do it because you think you are too old, too out of shape or you are afraid of looking foolish in front of others.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about.

This past Saturday I was working together with 2 other adults and 4 children and since it was a lot of snow and cold weather we decided to go sledding for an hour, so the kids could have some fun.
Now here was the problem....I had not gone sledding in over 30 years. I was standing on top of the hill with the sled in my hand telling myself all the excuses that I mentioned earlier.
Why I couldn't do it or why I shouldn't even try it.

I stood there for a few minutes discussing it with another adult that was also hesitating if she dared to sled down the hill, but we decided....what the heck....let's do it!
So off she went down the hill and I followed right after her.

Ohhh....It was a lot of fun!!!!
Let me tell you..... the adults had more fun the kids. We kept on climbing the small hill and off we went. Just having so much fun. At the end of the hour the kids were watching the adults sledding down the hill over and over again. We seemed to have more fun than the kids as we were screaming, laughing and cheering each other on..

I believe that as adults we have forgotten what makes us truly feel truly alive.
A lot of times we are sleepwalking through life and most of the time we are on auto pilot. In other words we have stopped doing the things that would bring a lot of fun, laughter and joy into our lives in a natural way and instead we have come to rely on artificial ways of improving our mood..... substances like sugar, caffeine, food, alcohol, drugs and behaviors like shopping, gambling, constantly surfing the internet, working too much... in a way to bring our mood up and to get the dopamine, serotonin and endorphins to flow in our bodies.

The problem is that all these ways of trying to improve on our mood and to make up for a lack of energy might end up hooking us and we will eventually get addicted to them in order to feel good all the time. The problem with addiction is that we might only need a small dose in the beginning but as time goes on we will most likely require bigger and bigger doses to get the same feeling again.
Short term gain that will lead to long term pain.

We settle for things that will give us some pleasure and satisfaction in the short term, instead of creating something that will give us pleasure all the time or in the long run.

It's not that we are having less energy, inspiration and motivation as adults. Most of the time we have stopped doing the things that will give us energy in a healthy way. The things we used to really enjoy doing when we were younger.
Instead we end up on the couch in the evening, watching hour after hour of TV or surfing the internet instead of actually engage in things that would give us a boost of energy naturally. We have come to rely on poor substitutes to be able to make up for low energy levels.
Yes..... it takes a little effort on our part and the willingness to take the first step.
The willingness to make and effort to change the habits that are not working and replace them with habits that are working.

I often hear people say...." I am so bad at getting together with my friends and in the evening I am just too tired to even call. I rather just sit on the couch." And then they wonder why they don't have any friends.
Sitting on the couch every evening won't bring up you energy level and it won't make you feel alive.

Everything start with you.
You must be willing to change what you do on a daily base. In other words you must take a good look a your habits and then make a decision on how what you want to feel in the future.
Decide that you are no longer willing to accept low energy and that you are no longer going to try to bring up your energy level by engaging in addictive behaviors. Instead you are now going to discover what truly makes you feel happy and alive and then decide to this instead on a daily base to feel more energized.

When was the last time you dance or sang like no one was listening or watching?
When was the last time you actually went out for coffee with a friend that you haven't seen in a while?
When was the last time you played music..... really loud?
When was the last time you called an old friend or relative?
When was the last time you spent some time in nature?
When was the last time you went to the movies?
When was the last time you walked on a beach?
How about volunteering? There are a lot of people that could use some help.
How about starting your own business?
How about a new hobby, like Salsa dancing, take singing lessons or join a choir.
How about learning a new language?
Try yoga classes or learn how to meditate
How about paining or start writing that book that you have been talking about for years?
How about starting a blog?
When was the last time that you did some travelling?
Gardening is fun, spend some time with your pets, decide on a weekly date-night with your partner
Re-decorate your house.
Join a new group. Get to know some new people.
Start a gratitude journal
Get in shape
Study personal development
Take a computer class
This list can get very long so I will stop now, because I think you will get the idea.

Doing these things will bring up your energy level naturally and the more you engage in some of these activities the more energy you will eventually get.
You can start small and work your way up to more and bigger things.

Don't settle for things that will only give you pleasure, energy and happiness in the short term.
Create activities and fun in your life that will give you happiness and aliveness in the long run.

Set some new goals, move your body, connect with people and get out of your comfort zone.

Find time to do the things that will make you happy and alive.