Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Women Empowering Women....Episode #2 on NewYouTV

                                      
                                            Women Empowering Women

                                          Going from a breakdown to a breakthrough!




Women will share their trial and triumphs to help inspire other women who may be going through similar situations.



In this episode I am speaking with Trish Buscemi. She is talking about her horrific motorcycle accident in March of 2013, outside Willis, TX.

The accident killed her boyfriend and left Trish In a coma for 3 weeks.

                                                        Here is Trish's Story

 
 
"When you are tempted to give up, your breakthrough is probably just around the corner."
- Joyce Meyer
 
               
                                            Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                           www.karinglannstam.com
 

Monday, March 30, 2015

Are You Being Self - Destructive?

                                     "The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking.
                                            It cannot be changed without changing our thinking."

                                                                    - Albert Einstein


Today I want to share with you an article that I came across several months ago. The reason I want to share it is that I believe that we can all relate to this topic.



      

It is written by Leo Babuta

I have a reader who wants to make positive changes in her life, but can't seem to stop certain behaviors.

She writes:

"I am consistently challenged with being mindful when buying food. What do you do when you are doing things that self-destructive and are not good and continue to do them. Is there an opportunity to change this?"

This is such an excellent question, because I think we can all relate this, can't we? who among us doesn't do self-destructive behaviors from time to time, if not on a regular basis? I know that I've lived most of my life doing things I wish I didn't do, and only in the last 8-9 years have I (slowly) been able to change those behaviors.

So can you change self-destructible behaviors? Can you stop yourself from doing things you can's seem to stop?

I can unequivocally say yes, these behaviors can be changed. I'm living proof of that.

I quit smoking, changed my eating habits completely from junk food to pretty darn healthy, went from sedentary to active, got out of debt, got rid of clutter, just to name a few of the changes I made. These all went from destructive to positive behaviors.

And trust me, I'm no superman. I might seem disciplined and model of self-mastery to an outsider, but from within I have always felt undisciplined, a procrastinator, with a distinct lack of self-control. I never thought I could make changes, but I did.




What worked? Here's the lowdown: a quick to changing these behaviors when you're having trouble.


1.  Feel the pain. We don't tend to make changes unless we are motivated to do so. Sometimes seeing other people make changes gives us inspiration. But sometimes we just need to be in a painful place that we'd rather get out of. And so, if you're in that painful place, allow yourself to feel the pain, and ask yourself whether it's time for a change. Eating out of control? Well, what kind of pain is this causing you? What do you want to do about it? Get out of that painful place.

2. Turn towards the problem. One of the biggest problems with making life changes is that we tend to avoid thinking about the problem. It gets worse and worse, and yet we distract ourselves, because looking at the problem can be scary and painful. Bu this time only makes the problem worse. If you want to get out of the cycle, you have to let yourself think about it. Look at the problem. Acknowledge it. Accept that it's the way it is., with understanding that it can change, if you acknowledge it.

3. Pick one small, distinct change. Once you've ready to start making changes, just pick one. If you want to change your eating, you can't change it all at once. It's not realistic. So pick one change, and be specific: eat one fruit at lunch each day. Drink unsweetened green teas instead of that Big Gulp of soda you have in the afternoon. Drink unsweetened coffee with a splash of creamer instead of Starbucks grande latte with extra whipped cream. Work on not going back for seconds until you've had a 10-minute break after your first helping. and so on. One change at a time, slowly.

4. Commit big time. While you want your change to be small, you want your commitment to be huge. This is what keeps you going when you don't feel like sticking to it. How can you commit big time? Announce to a hundred people, or to a thousand, that you're going to do this, and ask them to hold you accountable. Join an accountability group. Publicly commit to big embarrassing consequences if you fail. Do it publicly for someone else, or a charity, so you have people you don't want to let down. Make a pledge to someone you love. Put a big sum of money on it with your friends. Be all in.

5. Learn to believe that you can. In the beginning, you will probably have doubts that you can stick to this change. That's OK - start on it anyway. Stick to it for one small step ( drink a glass of water, eat one fruit), and see that you can do it. The stick to it for another small step. Each time you do it, use this as evidence that you are capable.

6. Use failure to learn. While doing this habit is evidence that you can do it, failure should not be evidence that you can't. Use it as an opportunity to learn; learn about how you work best, about how habits work, about negative self-talk and urges. Learn about obstacles, which are inevitable, and how to get around them. each time you mess up, this is an amazing opportunity to get better, to improve your method. Failure isn't a bad thing - it's new information to improve your habit method.

7. Don't believe the negative self-talk. There will be thoughts in your head about not being able to do it, or wanting to quit. don't listen to them. See them, acknowledge them, but don't follow their commands or believe what they say. They just come up because your brain is trying to get out of hard work. Lazy brain, lying brain. Instead, come up with better counterarguments; "Brain, you can do this." "You: Actually, I can and have. Other people have done this, and so can I. And I will only really know if I try.

8. Find support. Ask your partner or good friend, or family or the Internet, to support you. Ask them to check on you and not let you fail. If you don't have anyone supportive around you, find a group online.

9. Create the right positive & negative feedback. When we eat junk food, it has positive feedback (it's yum), and there's negative feedback for not eating the junk food (cravings and hunger and wishing you could eat it). This is the wrong feedback cycle for the change you want to make. Instead, create a new feedback cycle that supports your change. More on this below.


Creating the Right Environment

When you put all the steps above together, it's about having the right environment. Think of is as a greased slope - right now, the slope is greased toward your self-destructive behavior, so even if you fight against it, you're likely to keep doing the behavior.

You can consciously change the slope. Create your own greased slope, so that it's structured toward the direction you want to go.

For example, of you're trying to change the way you eat, get rid of all the junk food in your house, os it's hard to get the unhealthy stuff. Tell people in your house not to let you go to the store or fast food places to get junk. Instead, have healthy stuff around for when you're hungry. Have accountability and consequence, so they you want to look good by doing well (negative feedback) and you want to look good by doing well (positive feedback). Don't meet people at places with unhealthy food - that's like going to the bar when you are an alcoholic. Give yourself rewards, like a message, if you stick to if for a week or two.

These are just examples, of course....you'll want to set up your own environment for whatever works for you. This is something you can adjust over time, which is why failure is such a good learning tool: you can see where your environment need to be changed. If you stay on your computer instead of exercising, unplug the computer and give the cord to a friend to hold until you exercise. And so on, adjusting each time you fail until your environment is set up so you can definitely succeed.

If you leave this guide with any message, it's that change is possible. Even if you think you can't do it, you're wrong. You can. You just need to take one action, start one motion, change your environment, and grease the slope.



                                              Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                           www.karinglannstam.com

Friday, March 27, 2015

If You Fear it - You Must Do It!

                                     "The scariest moment is always before you start"
                                                                     - Stephen King

                                      "Thinking will not overcome fear but action will"
                                                               - W. Clement Stone


"Fear of all kinds and sized is a form of psychological infection. We can cure a mental infection the same way we cure a body infection. - with specific, proven treatments....condition yourself with this fact; all confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence.
Those people around you who radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, who are at ease everywhere and all the time, acquired their confidence, every bit of it." 
                                                             - David J. Schwartz from The Magic of Thinking Big


What are you afraid of?

Is there somewhere in your life that you feel stuck right now?

Do you need to take some action....... or do you feel to fearful to even make a change in your life?

A lot of times we do the same things over and over again....year after year. We get stuck in a rut and a lot of times that will lead to boredom.

We get so scared to start or even try something new. If we never learn, grow or expand in life we will feel dead on the inside. As human being we need to grow all the time.

Growing will make you feel alive!!

Yet....we feel such fear when we have to try something new..... getting out our comfort zone.

The longer you stay in your comfort zone..... the harder it will get to get out of it!!!!

Isn't it about time you decided to get out of your comfort zone. Decide to start a new art class, learn a new language, start a conversation with that new person at work, get on-line and start dating again, go to the gym and decide to get in shape....etc.


So, what kills FEAR?

ACTION.

ACTION CURES FEAR.

What have you been avoiding lately? What are you afraid of these days?


Today...decide to do one thing per day that scares you.
Do this for the next 7 days.

Just try it!!!! and then see how you feel after those 7 days!
Don't hesitate...Just Do It! Hesitation only magnifies the fear.




I bet you will feel a lot more courageous and feel less fear..... and watch your life accelerate in the right direction.

                                                "Courage is not the absence of fear.
                                        It is doing one thing despite the presence of fear"

 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Practice Gratitude Daily

I am sure that most of you have heard that "Practicing Gratitude" is a for sure thing for raising your energetic frequency fast and feeling happier quickly.


                                      "Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for
                                                       will increase in your life"

                                  "It's not the happy people that are thankful. It is the
                                                  thankful people that are happy"


When we are happy for the things that we already have in our life....we can start to attract more things into our lives to be happy about. So more things will show up in our lives and the happier we will get. Sounds simple....... huh?

And I am not just talking about material things. I am also including happier people, better opportunities, a great new job, better relationships, more success and love.


You will attract from who you are, on a vibrational level.......not from what you want.
So in order to attract more happiness in life....we have to become happier first....before we can attract it.

Happiness will attract more happiness.

I am sure that mot of you have heard about a "Gratitude Journal"?
Every day, at the end of the day you write down 5 things that happened during the day that you are grateful for. It is a great tool for creating more  happiness. If you don't already do this, I strongly suggest that you start practicing this little cool exercise.

It will only take 3-5 minutes of your day. I am sure you can spare 5 minutes per day to be able to increase your happiness on a daily base.



Today I have another little TIP for you. Check out this Video!


 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Simple Secrets to Accomplish Success

Today I want to share a few tips or principles from a book called "Simple Secrets" by Kathy Davis




Here we go!

Tip#1.  Believe in yourself. Always stay true to what makes you unique and trust your gut.
See your differences as strengths rather than handicaps. And, instead of comparing yourself to others..... be inspired by them.

Tip#2.  Work hard. Pure and simple. Ideas aren't worth anything unless you put them to work. You have to be responsible, dependable, disciplined and never stop learning.

Tip#3.  Take risks. it's OK to be afraid but you just have to plunge anyway. This isn't easy, especially when you feel like the tide is against you, but it's necessary to take risks in order to stay fresh and relevant. You will make mistakes but your efforts will also make a difference. Just take a deep breath and step out of that comfort zone!

Tip#4.  Keep an open mind. Be willing to adapt and change when you need to. Adjust your sails to catch that wind. Be strong....yet flexible and resilient....like bamboo.....and bend rather than break.

Tip#5.  Accept your limitations. Be willing to ask for help....and be able to say "NO". There's no way you can be everything to everybody all the time! Surround yourself with good people and enlist their help when you need it most.

Tip#6. Treat others with respect and kindness. That golden rule never, ever goes out of style.

Tip#7.  Never stop dreaming. Your vision can guide you to great things....but you need to be patient and don't give up on yourself or on an idea that might seem slow in coming. It just might need a little more time to germinate and become strong.


                                            "Never give up on something you really want.
                                           It's difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret."


                                           "It's always seems impossible until it's done."
                                                                        - Nelson Mandela

 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach






Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Why Having a Vision for Your Life is so Important

                   "The Worst thing than being blind is having sight but no vision"
                                                                                      - Helen Keller

There is a lot of talk about having a vision or goals for your life. When I was younger I didn't think much about having goals or a vision for my own life. I had some ideas what I wanted to do but I never sat down and actually thought about it or wrote it down. I allow things to just happen or even worse, I allowed other people to plan my life for me......Big Mistake!

It's like Jim Rohn says, "If you allow people to plan your life for you...guess what they have planned ......NOT MUCH!"

Now I am so clear about my vision and my goals in life, and I could not imagine, not having a vision and written goals for my life. So what changed in my life?

In 2012 the life that I knew totally collapsed around me. I had been in an abusive relationship for years (narcissistic abuse). But most of us are very scared of change so we remain in the same situation....on some level we feel safe. We know what is coming.......(for me it was more abuse), it feels familiar to us. We learn to become functional in the dysfunction.
Change sometimes feels worse than death. At least when we are in a toxic relationship we know what is coming....more toxicity. But changing is even scarier because we have to face the unknown... and that makes most of us very uncomfortable.

When the fear of remaining the same get scarier than changing.....we are ready to make a move.

This is exactly what happened to me in 2012.

The abuse had gotten so bad that I could no longer ignore it or live with it. I had to make a change. So I did.

To get away from my situation I had to move all the way to Sweden. I was born and raised there but I had spent the last 25 years in The US. But I knew that my best support system was going to be back in Sweden and I desperately needed some peace and quiet to heal.

So I flew back to Sweden with 2 dogs and 2 suitcases!!! My life of 25 years.

Now...... I know this sounds pitiful......but I am not writing this blog..... to sound pitiful. It is going to be about something valuable that I learned when I came back to Sweden

Create a Vision for your OWN life.
Don't allow anyone else to create it for you. That is exactly what I did. After a couple of months in Sweden I just knew that I was not going to stay there. But what was I going to do?????

I was going to go back to Houston, TX where I had lived for almost 25 years and I was also going to go back to school to become a certified Life Coach. I wanted to help people to take charge of their lives and if their lives had crashed I wanted to show then how they could bounce back quickly after life knocked them down. I wanted to help them understand the importance of being the............
STAR in their OWN MOVIE!

So I created this big vision for myself

- Going to be back in the US about a year after I landed in Sweden

- Going to become a Certified Life Coach

Why am I telling you all of this.....I  know the biggest help and tool in my recovery from the "Breakdown" in my life..... was to Create a Compelling Future for myself.



It was so powerful and exciting that it pulled me out of my funk and feeling sorry for myself. As soon as I had decided on my own my vision.... I went to work on it, immediately
Every day, I worked on it. If I wasn't working on it ...I was thinking about it. It almost became an obsession I knew if I was going to be able to return to The US I had to become strong both mentally and physically, and also develop a bigger COURAGE - Muscle.

I worked on it 7 days a week. The funny thing happened ...... it wasn't that hard to commit to, because I was so excited about my new vision. I was going to be the hero of my own journey.....I was going to plan my own life.

Of course it was a lot of work but it was well worth it. I was excited and I took actions every day towards my goals. My vision was like a magnet it pulled my towards it. I was excited every day. I had committed to doing this.


Did I have the whole game plan before I started...No. I did not know the whole plan....not even half the plan. But as I moved along people showed up in my life, to assist me. Ideas came out of nowhere .Why?...Because I had made a decision....created a vision .....and I was taking massive action towards creating my new life.



I did return to The US 1 year and 15 days after that I had came to Sweden.
I started Life Coaching school, on-line and became certified 1 year later.

Today I am helping people understand the importance of setting goals/creating a vision for their life.And not to allow someone else to do it for them. Never live someone else's dream.

And if you are faced with your life falling apart..... instead of getting stuck, there are a lot of tools and techniques that can guide you, to get unstuck and back on track quickly.

If I can do it.....I KNOW YOU CAN!!!!

This is not a dress rehearsal....this is it!!!

So you might as well make the most of it!!!!!

Check Out this Short Video!

 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, March 23, 2015

Do You Worry a Lot?

Do you worry a lot.? A lot of us do. In the past I used to worry a lot more than I do today. I have learned that we must live in the moment. We must live only for today. Easier said than done.....    
 I know.

Just remember that yesterday is gone. We can't change the past. It doesn't matter how much we try and how much time we spend thinking about what we could have done differently.... The past is over with. Learn from it, but move on.

Tomorrow isn't here yet, but already we are worrying about what is going to happen. We have no control over it, so why not let it go. Stop spending a lot of mental energy worrying about the past or the future. Just imagine how much energy you could have if you just stayed in the moment.
Stay in the present moment.


Did you know that 90-95% of what we worry about....never happens!

Today I want to share with you a book that I just finished reading. It is the best book that I have read in months and I highly recommend it.

How to Stop worrying and Start Living......by Dale Carnegie


Time-Tested methods for conquering worry. This book deals with fundamental emotions and ideas. It is fascinating to read and easy to apply. Let it change and improve you. There's no need to live with worry and anxiety that keep you from enjoying a full, active and happy life.

Today I want to share a story from this book. It reminds us to.........Never Worry Alone.

Dr. Rose Hilferding, the medical advisor of the class sais that she thought one of the best remedies for lightening worry is "talking your troubles over with someone you trust. We call it, catharsis," she said. "when patients come here, they can talk their troubles over at length, until they get them off their minds. Brooding over worries alone, and keeping them to oneself, causes great nervous tension. We all have to share our troubles. We have to share our worry. We have to feel there is someone in the world who is willing to listen and able to understand.

My assistant witnessed the great relief that came to one woman from talking out her worries. She had domestic worries, and when she first began to talk, she was like a wound-up spring. Then gradually, as she kept on talking, she began to calm down. At the end of the interview, she was actually smiling. Had the problem been solved? No, it wasn't that easy. What caused the change was talking to someone, getting a little advice and a little human sympathy. What had really worked the change was the tremendous healing value that lies in - words!

Psychoanalysis based, to some extent, on this healing power of words. Ever since the days of Freud, analysts have known that a patient could find relief from his inner anxieties if he could talk, just talk. Why is this so? Maybe because by talking, we gain a little better insight into our troubles, get a better perspective. No one knows the whole answer. But all of us know that "spiting it out" or "getting it off our chests" bring almost instant relief.

So, the next time we have an emotional problem, why don't we look around for someone to talk to? I don't mean, of course, to go around making pests of ourselves by whining and complaining to everyone is sight. Let's decide on someone we can trust, and make an appointment. Maybe a relative , a doctor, a lawyer, a minister, or priest. Then say, to that person: "I want your advice, I have a problem, and I wish you would listen while I put it in words. You may be able to advice me. You may see angles to this thing that I can't see myself. But even if you can't, you will help me tremendously if you will just sit and listen while I talk it out.

So, how about the next time you start to worry..... instead of worrying alone reach out to someone and ask them to just listen.


In my own life, I have done this many times. I am blessed with having a wonderful small group of close friends that I can trust with my worries. I always tell them....I know you can't solve this problem for me..... I know I have to do it myself.
But I always want them to listen because when we get stuck in toxic worry we get paralyzed, withdraw and disconnect. We get so stuck at looking at what isn't working that we might not see anything else and we also might also miss out on the solution to our problem.

 NEVER WORRY ALONE!         Find a Friend to Worry With!

 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach





Friday, March 20, 2015

How to HEAL after Being in a Narcissistic Relationship

I wish I could say that it is as simple as saying positive things every day and simply telling ourselves to be strong, when we are trying to deal with and heal after a narcissistic relationship. It's not that easy.
Emotional healing is process that takes years. The key is start slow and take one's time. Rushing leads to more mistakes, which in turn will lead to an additional loss in confidence.

Emotional/Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process.

The emotional abuse that occurs in a relationship with a narcissist is merciless and relentless. Narcissists brainwash their victims. They use different methods of coercion in order to obtain control over their significant other. They threaten, degrade, shift blame, criticize, manipulate, dominate, blackmail, withdraw, assault, withhold love and affection and gaslight their victims.

Love partners feel a lightened state of anxiety. There is ability to feel safe under these conditions. A great deal of focus is placed on the Narcissist. Good or bad attention it makes no difference. The narcissist is receiving attention and to him that makes him feel important. He feels powerful that he can affect another individual to such a degree. He also knows that he can control his love partner, because the more she focuses on what he is doing or isn't doing the more she loses her identity, her pastimes, her friends and her life. He has taken your light and you have become his darkness.

Continuing to focus on him will keep us stuck in negative energy and it will inhibit recovery.

We must stop focusing on the Narcissist and start focusing on ourselves. Find support and educate yourself why this is happening and realize why a Narcissist will never be able to provide you with the love you so deserve. This knowledge will be liberating. You will find it liberating once you realize that the Narcissists behavior had nothing to do with you.


A lot of times we are prisoners of our own mind. We will stay behind invisible bars as long as we fail to see things for what they are.

Learn to accept the fact that this was never about you. As a matter of fact it had nothing to do with you not being good enough, nor is it that you are unlovable. A Narcissist is incapable of loving anyone.


Give yourself time to heal. Mourn the loss and know that the pain will not last forever. The emotional damage that goes along with being involved with a narcissist takes time. Make sure you get support and be patient with yourself.

Remember that you have to put your own well being before anything else. Do not let your narcissistic partner drain the life out of you.

From most articles or books that I have read almost everyone recommend you to leave the relationship with a narcissistic person, especially if it is severe. Keeping your sanity in those cases is next to impossible. The Narcissist is an emotional vampire, feeding of the self-esteem of those around him.
He thrives on creating drama, which is inevitable blames his victims for.

If you realize that you are in a relationship with a Narcissist get out before you get badly hurt.





To Protect Yourself

How does one avoid encountering someone with narcissism? Always be very cautious with the pacing of dating and when entering into a new relationship. Exercise extreme caution when meeting up with a dating partner for the first several dates until you feel you know the individual. (always meet in public places).
If a dating partner attempts to rush the relationship, that is a red flag. Allow the connection to unfold slowly and observe to see if actions and words are matching up. An individual who respects your boundaries will work with you to slowly progress the relationship at a pace that is mutually agreed upon.

Sexual chemistry is not the same thing as healthy bonding and attachment. A healthy person will want to get to know your personality, dreams, and interests, and slowly evolve the relationship. An individual with narcissistic tendencies may also want to know all about you, but then may fake being your soul mate by rushing you into a relationship/marriage/cohabitation/business arrangements.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Warning Signs of Narcissism in Your Relationship.

People with narcissistic traits are known for targeting intelligent, self-sufficient, empathic individuals as partners. They tend to lack core identity and need narcissistic supply to fill their empty psyches. Narcissistic supply comes mostly in the form of adulation, adoration, and attention, but any sort of feedback allows the individual with narcissistic qualities to feel alive. These individuals feel a sense of challenge in targeting highly successful, attractive individuals who may already be in other relationships and who express vulnerability, ex. having grief or depression, or recently getting out of a relationship.


Here are some Warning Signs

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance. Exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.

2. He/she takes more than he gives. You now realize that this show of attention on you at one stage was pretense. The honeymoon period did not last very long.

3. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

4. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions.

5. Requires excessive admiration.

6. Has trouble committing to a relationship. You have to give in to his demands for space; but you have to be at his beck and call.

7. Has a very strong sense of entitlement, unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his/her expectation.

8. Exploitative of others, takes advantage of others to achieve his/her own ends

9. Lacks Empathy. Is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

10. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him/her.

11. Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

12. His needs come first. You have to plan your life around his.




Without awareness, we may not recognize the signs. A guy with narcissistic  tendencies is often very charismatic. You are not able to resist him. He is charming, successful and appears to have it all.

We may not realize is that the narcissist is mostly empty talk. His stories are grandiose . He desires to appear big. He seeks approval and needs people to constantly build him up.

It is very energy depleting to be around a narcissist for long. Because he puts his needs first, you have to give in all the time. He is a great manipulator. He throws fits when he realizes that he is not the center of attention.

Once the initial honey moon wears off, partners of people with narcissistic traits go from feeling high on a pedestal to feeling devalued, discarded, and figuratively knocked off the pedestal. Their partners have successfully seduced and hooked them into relationships.

Suddenly, the individual with narcissism begins to reveal traits of lying, future-faking, and Dr.Jekyl/Mr.Hyde Personality. He or she may vanish for hours or days, or gaslighting (confuses the reality) of partner. This person becomes emotionally abusive and detaches from the partner.


Narcissism, in lay terms, basically means that a person is totally absorbed in self. The extreme narcissist is the center of his own universe. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used. It usually starts with a significant emotional wound or a series of them culminating in a major trauma of separation/attachment. No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood. He became emotionally stuck at the time of his major trauma of separation/attachment.

Their emotional age and maturity corresponds to the age they experienced their major trauma. This trauma was devastating to the point it almost killed that person emotionally. The pain never was totally gone and the bleeding was continues. In order to survive, this child had to construct a protective barrier that insulates him/her from the external world of people. He generalizes that all people are harmful and cannot be trusted.

The protective insulation barrier he constructed is called a false persona. He created a false identity. This identity is not the true person inside.


                                              Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                        www.karinglannstam.com

Monday, March 16, 2015

Recovering from Narcissistic abuse and Becoming a Life Coach

Today I want to share with you the first episode in the video series "Women Empowering Women" Going from Breakdown to a Breakthrough, on NewYouTV. You can find NewYouTV on my website, www.karinglannstam.com. Please go and check out the video.

We are all on a journey and sometimes we get stuck in life and that might lead to a breakdown.
A breakdown is usually about a loss of some kind. Loss of a loved one, a marriage, job, moving to another city etc. If you slow down and learn from the breakdown you will have a breakthrough.




Instead of listening to the pain we often numb it with alcohol, prescription drugs, shopping, gambling, sex or just being "busy" all the time. Pay attention to the pain. It is here to tell you something.

I decided to create Women Empowering Women due to my own breakdown and breakthrough in 2012.

In theses episodes brave women will share their personal stories. How they went from breakdown to breakthrough and what they learned in the process.


"Turn your wounds into Wisdom."         - Oprah


Every Friday will be posting a new video with a different woman sharing her story.

I hope you will tune in every Friday to NewYouTV and I hope these stories will inspire you!


In this video I am sharing my story. I was born and raised in Sweden. Came to the US in1987. I was 25 years old.
I have had a knack for attracting the wrong kind of men in my life. In 2012 my life totally fell apart when I discovered that the man that I had been with and known for almost 8 years was a narcissist.
At that time I didn't know what a narcissist was and I was in shock when I finally figured it out. It was totally devastating and my whole world collapsed.


Betrayal, when realized, is a phenomenal existential feeling. Betrayal and narcissism is a lethal combination.
Suddenly my world was no longer the one I believed in. I questioned reality but most of all I questioned myself.
"How" I wondered, "could I have been so stupid, so naïve, blind, trusting and unknowing?"

Here is My Story!




If you have any questions about Narcissistic abuse or maybe you are in an abusive, toxic relationship or situation or know of someone who is
Please contact me through my website www.karinglannstam.com

In my blog on Wednesday I will share "How to spot a Narcissist





The traits and the warning signs.

Without the awareness, we may not recognize the signs. A guy with narcissistic tendencies is often very charismatic. They are charming, successful and appears to have it all. So often we are drawn to their "confidence".

It can be energy-depleting to be near a narcissist for long. He puts his needs first and he is a great manipulator.

Learn to spot signs of Narcissism. See you Wednesday!



                                             Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                       www.karinglannstam.com


Friday, March 13, 2015

Work Smarter - Not Harder.......

As a life coach I often run into people in my practice, who are "stuck" in life. They have done the same things for years without little or no results.

I have been stuck many times in my own life and it isn't a good feeling. Unfortunately when we are stuck we keep on doing the same thing over and over again and so often we are expecting different results. And we don't understand why we can't have a breakthrough or get "unstuck".


If you want a different results you have to do something different.

Trying harder doesn't always work either. A lot of times we need to do something radically different to achieve greater levels of success.

We need to break out of our old patterns or habits and most of the times that includes getting out of our comfort zones, which is a scary thing for most people.


Today I want to share something with you written by Price Pritchett.
Just some food for thought!


I am sitting in a quiet room at the Milcroft Inn, a peaceful little place hidden back among the pine trees about an hour out of Toronto. It's just past noon, late July, and I'm listening to the desperate sounds of a life-or-death struggle going on a few feet away.
There's a small fly burning out the last of its short life's energies in a futile attempt to fly through the glass of the windowpane. The whining wings tell the poignant story of the fly's strategy:
Try harder.


But it's not working.

The frenzied effort offers no hope for survival. Ironically, the struggle is part of the trap. It is impossible for the fly to try hard enough to succeed at breaking through the glass. Nevertheless, this little insect has staked its life on reaching its goal through raw effort and determination.

This fly is doomed. It will die there in the windowsill.

Across the room, ten steps away, the door is open. Ten seconds of flying time and this small creature could reach the outside world it seeks. With only a fraction of the effort now being wasted, it could be free of the this self-imposed trap. The breakthrough possibility is there. It would be so easy.


 

Why doesn't the fly try another approach, something dramatically different? How did it get so locked in the idea that this particular route and determined efforts offer the most promise for success?
What logic is therein continuing until death to seek a breakthrough with more of the same?

No doubt this approach makes sense to the fly. Regrettably, it's an idea that will kill.

Try harder isn't necessary the solution to achieving more. It may not offer any real promise for getting what you want out of life. Sometimes, in fact, it's a big part of the problem

If you stake your hopes for a breakthrough on trying harder than ever, you may kill your chances for success.
 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Learn To Accept and Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Are you Accepting where you are in life? The things that you have done, or didn't do?

Or do you have a habit of blaming others or a circumstance for you misery or failures in life?

Are you talking full Responsibility for the actions that you took or the lack of action, that brought you to where you are in life, right now ?


Often we take responsibility for the good things we did in our lives. But ever so often we like to blame someone else, when bad things happen to us.
When things don't turn out the way we want them to turn out, it is often so much easier to blame someone else or to blame some kind of an incident in our life.  And that is why we are the way we are or, that is why we live the life we do.

This kind of mindset will ultimately leave you powerless. Because it means in order for you and your  life to change, other people or situation must change.

You have the POWER to change right now....no matter what has happened to you or where you are in life. Take your power back! You can create change RIGHT NOW!


"Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent and committed decision."
                                                                     - Tony Robbins


If any of this sounds familiar to you.....or maybe it sounds like you, or someone you know... this video is for you.

 
                                             Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach


Monday, March 9, 2015

Words are Powerful

Have you ever paid attention to what you say during the day?

If we speak positive words, our lives will move in a positive direction. Same thing if we speak in a negative way, we might experience some poor results in our life.


If we constantly speak of failure and defeat in our life, we can't expect to live a life filled with abundance and joy. What we send out in the Universe, will come back to us. Just like a boomerang. We will reap what we sew.

By speaking words aloud, they are planted in our subconscious mind. They are like a seed and eventually they will take root and start growing.

Lets' say you plant seeds of "I can do it", "I am able to accomplish this", "I have what it takes", I am capable of" or other positive comments, you are setting yourself up for a more abundant and successful life. You are watering seeds of victory.

On the other hand if you in your daily conversation include seeds of "I can't", "I won't", "There is no way I can do it", or any other negative comments, you are setting yourself up for misery and defeat.

The thing is, it takes the same amount of water to water the negative seeds as it does to water the positive seeds. But you have to decide ....which seeds to water.


When you say something often enough and with passion and enthusiasm, your subconscious mind will pick it up more quickly and your subconscious mind begins to act on what you are saying, doing whatever is necessary to bring it to pass.

If you are passionate about your life and your relationships in life and you speak passionately about them.....guess what is going to happen.......

On the other hand if you are passionately talking about how everything is going wrong in your life and how everyone in your life is treating you badly.......guess what is going to happen......

You are right......the same thing. Good or bad it doesn't matter. What you are talking passionately about and sending a lot of energy to, you will attract into your life.

Where focus goes......Energy flows!!!

Pay attention to what is going on in your life right now. If you don't like what you see, you might want to start to pay attention to what you are saying aloud on a daily base.

Too often, we make the mistake of adopting negative attitudes and complaining. When we talking like that , we become our own worst enemy. Pay attention to your words, because your words are powerful.

Especially when you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. When you feel like the world has come against you. In those times you are more vulnerable and more likely to slip into a negative attitude, complaining and speaking negatively about your life and the people around you.


Your subconscious mind picks up every word. Pay attention to your words and choose your words wisely.

WORDS ARE POWERFUL

 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach






Friday, March 6, 2015

Are you Walking Around Wearing Outdated Labels?

Are you walking around wearing outdated labels?

What do I mean by that?

A lot of times we allow other people to put labels on us. Maybe something a teacher said to you at school. Sometimes a parent or sibling wasn't supportive and said unkind things to you. Friends told you that you could not accomplish your goals and let you know that you were too old to start over again. A lot of those people didn't mean to be unkind and most of the time they just didn't know better.


Don't allow how anybody treated you or what anybody said to you to put you into a disadvantage.
If you do ....... soon enough you will walk around with limiting labels like;

- I are not smart enough

- I am too old to go back to school and get an education.

- I come from a dysfunctional family so I am not worthy of love and respect.

- No one ever listen to me. I have nothing to offer the world.

- I am such a "loser"

- I have been this way too long. I can't change now

It's like the canned section in the grocery stores. Some cans are perfect on the outside. Some have dents in them. Just because a can is dented on the outside, doesn't mean that the content on the inside is damaged. When you open up a dented can, there is nothing wrong with the content.


Same thing happens with us. Often we walk around feeling like something is wrong with us. We are wearing the wrong labels. The "damaged goods labels". Just because we have gone  through some challenging things in our lives, doesn't mean that we are "damaged goods."

Isn't it time for you to take of those outdated and limiting labels and replace them with some new and updated ones?
Shake off the self pity and go to work in creating some new "Empowering Labels" for yourself.


Stop focusing on what people have said about you. Don't focus on the mess. It is time to make a shift and to start focusing on what is possible for you right now?

Create a new Vision for your life.

Don't let the past stop you from living a happy and fulfilling life. Create a compelling future of all the things you will do.

Stop dwelling on the past and all the bad past experiences. As long as you are living in the past you won't be able to create a new future for yourself.

Negative voices will always play louder. Learn to control your thoughts. Start playing more empowering positive thoughts. Don't believe every thought that comes through you head. Change out the tapes.

All of us have flaws and weaknesses. We feel broken.
But instead of feeling broken, put your pieces together and create a more empowering and stronger version of you. You will feel better and wiser for it.

We have all been dented on the outside.... but the inside is still beautiful.

Now, get out there and start living your BEST LIFE EVER!


                                              Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                         www.karinglannstam.com



Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Coaching Tip of the Week - Brain Dumping

Lets see if this sounds familiar to you...

You go to bed at night ready for a good nights sleep. You feel relaxed and you are ready for a good night's sleep because you are having a full day, tomorrow,

But there is one big problem......Your brain can't shut down!!!!


Ever had this happen to you?

So what do we do?

If this sounds familiar to you......

I want you to watch this weeks coaching tip about BRAIN DUMPING

 
Karin Glannstam -Personal Success Coach

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

My Interview with Judy Trosvig - Professional Organizer

In this episode of "Feeling Better Now" by NewYouTV. I am talking to Judy Trosvig. She is a professional organizer.


 
 
Judy guides her clients in organizing their lives, resulting in a calmer lifestyle and being more productive.
 
 
 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, March 2, 2015

Forgiveness - Will set you FREE.

Forgiveness is one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself. Forgiveness will set you free.
So often we tote our unforgiveness around like baggage and it gets very heavy. Every day we spend time thinking and dwelling on all the people that have hurt us in the past.


I heard Wayne Dyer say once....... Your past is like bags of manure...you drag them around with you every day and when you are getting older those bags become quite heavy. In those bags you put memories of all the people that did you wrong, treated you badly, talked badly about you, betrayed you, didn't support you...etc.

Every day these bags get heavier and heavier and ever so often we put them down and open them up. Grab some of that manure from the inside .....and smear it all over ourselves... and then we wonder why our lives stink so bad????


Lets' face it...all of us have been treated badly and betrayed in our lives by people we knew and also by strangers. But we must learn to let it go.

To be able to live in the present moment and to make most of our day, we must learn to forgive the people that have hurt us in the past. Too often we try to collect out debt from other people. When someone hurts us, we feel like they owe us. Somebody should pay for that pain we have suffered. Unfortunately the person that you are taking out your anger and resentments on, didn't have anything to do with your past and what happened to you.

This is what happens when you are trapped in the past. You are always trying to collect those debts. You will keep on taking it out on people even though they were never involved.

I once was in a relationship with a man for many years. He was so angry with his own mother and he was trying to collect that debt from every woman that he had been in a relationship with his whole life. He was never able to have a good relationship with a women because he was mistreated by his mother, growing up.
Every time he got into a new relationship, he tried to make  every woman  pay him back for old injustices, inflicted by someone else. He was trying to collect a debt he felt was owed to him.

The only problem was.... he was never going to be able to collect that debt and he failed at every relationship he had ever been in. He was always dragging is things from the past into our relationship and tried to punish me for something that had happened to him when he was growing up. Finally I  had to walk away and end our relationship. It was absolutely impossible to remain in a relationship with this man. His bitterness and resentment was consuming him every day. Not a good way to live.


Instead, try to start each day afresh and anew, especially in your family relationships and with your intimate partners. Each morning forgive the people who have hurt you. Let go of the disappointments. Don't allow little things to build up. Don't harbor resentment, anger and unforgiveness. Don't play silly games and don't allow a bitter attitude to build up. If you do and you are not careful it will poison your life and cause you major problems.

Also make sure that every morning you always forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you have made, and also let go of your disappointments and setbacks. What is done is done. It is in the past....and you can't change the past. Just learn form it and move on!


Today, focus on your possibilities. Ask yourself.....What is Possible for me today? Be excited because you just got a brand new day. It is a gift. Focus on what you can change rather than what you can't change.
Be grateful. Not everyone woke up to a brand new day, today.

Move on and know that all things are going to work together for your good. If you know that you have done your best and some things  can't be fixed....you must simply leave them behind and move on. Promise yourself to never dwell on the past. Forgive everyone and start this brand new day by saying;

I am grateful for this brand new day and I know something wonderful is going to happen today. Thank You!

 
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach