Monday, January 27, 2020

Keep Showing Up Every Day

                                                "Believe in yourself and all that you are.
                                                Know that there is something inside you
                                                  that is GREATER than any obstacle."

On our journey to success in life we will occasionally meet with temporary defeat. It will probably happen more than once, so be prepared. Most people will quit when they are met with an obstacle or a setback. They often believe that it's final and at this point they simply give up.

Most people will experience a setback as being final instead of simply looking at it as something temporary. At this time we might just need to make a few adjustments.  This is not the time to quit.
Remember's temporary.

A lot of people are very interested in accomplishing their goals. Well, I believe we all are interested. But it takes a little more than just being interested to be able to reach anything worthwhile in life. It's takes commitment. In other words, it takes stickability. We need to stick to accomplishing our goal, no matter what kind of setbacks and delays that we encounter on our path.

They say that a dream is just a dream, until it's written down. Only then does it become a goal.
A goal is a actually a contract with yourself. A commitment to YOU. You are promising yourself that you will do something for yourself. Don't break that promise to yourself, just because you are encountering a temporary defeat or delay, right now. Don't give up at a low point. Keep on going.

Stop focusing what you have lost. Instead focus on what you have left. Keep your eyes on the ultimate goal or the price and then believe in your own talents.

Also make sure that you give yourself some breathing room. Sometimes when we are in the middle of a setback or delay, we have to step back and look at the situation from a different angle, to find a solution, get our energy back so that we can rise and start walking on our path again.

Have faith. Keep showing up every day and do your best..... and eventually things will happen for you.


Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Empower Yourself By Reading Books

                                                     Learning is a treasure that will 
                                                       follow its owner everywhere."
                                                             - Chinese Proverbs

When was the last time you read an educational book....cover to cover?
Do you even remember?
If you don' are not alone.

I read a lot of books when I was a teenager and also in my early twenties. But after I got married and moved to the US, I seldom read a book.
I believe this is very common for a lot of people. As soon as school and our education is over, we feel like we don't need to read and learn anymore, so we stop reading books, except for some fictional books that we read once in a while.

In April of 2010 all of that changed for me.
At that time I was told by my therapist that the man that I was in a relationship with was a narcissist.
Heck, I didn't know much at that time about what it meant to be a narcissist. I just knew that they were usually very selfish. At this time I had sought the help from a therapist, because the man that I was with, was acting very strange and being in a relationship with him, made me feel extremely bad, anxious and uncomfortable. It got worse as the days went by, and I couldn't understand why.

After my therapist told me that the man that I was with was narcissistic, I started my research online into narcissism. Back then 10 years ago, people wasn't talking as much about narcissism as they do today and at that time there wasn't as much information online and not as many books to buy, as you can find today. But I searched and immersed myself in reading and learning as much as I could about narcissism. I read article after article. And I listen to countless podcasts and I bought books at Barnes & Noble, to try figure out what I was dealing with at home.

Starting my research into narcissism in 2010, saved my life.
After reading and learning for a while, I understood what I was dealing with when it came to my narcissistic partner and our relationship. I understood what was going on, and after a while I could anticipate his next move(s). I did all of this to understand and also to protect myself, so I wasn't going to get hurt. Because this man was emotionally and psychologically abusive and he was manipulating and using brainwashing techniques to control me.

I left him in 2012, and I don't have any contact with this man today.
After I had left the relationship  I read and learned a lot more about narcissism and why some people become narcissistic, and also the best way to deal with these kinds of people in the future, when we run into them again. Because we will.

Reading books and articles, listening to audio-books, podcasts and webinars, changed my life, forever.

Fast forward 10 years. Today a lot more people are now talking about narcissism, and unfortunately there are a lot of people who has become victims to narcissistic abuse. I won't say that I am expert when it comes to this subject, but I know a lot about narcissism. First I had the experience with a narcissist and then I have spent countless hours researching the subject.

Today I don't read a lot about narcissism, but once in a while I have to do some more research.
Today I focus completely on personal development. I also started reading books, blogs, listening and attending seminars online on this topic, back in 2010.

During these past 10 years I have no idea on how many books or articles that I have read, as I continue to read on a daily basis. I have no idea on how many online podcasts and seminars that I have listen to during these past 10 years, but I know it's a lot.
I love to learn and I feel I must continue to learn, grow and expand so that I can become and handle things better.

And by constant never ending learning,  I can also better serve my coaching clients, write my books, and build my coaching business. (My own coaching business got started in 2012)

When GOD want to give you a gift, he wraps it up in a problem. 

Today I am grateful for what happened to me back in 2010, because it woke me up from sleepwalking through life and not using my gifts and living up to my full potential. At the end of the day I didn't feel like I was living my purpose. I was drifting in life and it was time for me to wake up and change myself and my life.

"Don't wish things were easier. Wish you were better."

"For things to get better for you, you have to get better."

Both quotes are by Jim Rohn. One of my favorite virtual mentors.

How do we get better? By developing ourselves.
How do we develop ourselves? By reading, learning, expanding, growing and trying new things.
In other Personal Development.

We have to participate in our own recue

I don't know what is going on in your life right now.

Back in 2010, I was facing a very difficult situation. I was dealing with a partner that was abusive to me, so I started reading books about narcissism and emotional abuse, to help myself.

If you are facing problems in your marriage, start reading books on how to improve your intimate relationships.

Are you dealing with a bankruptcy or any other difficult financial situation, then read books about how to improve your finances.

Are you facing a serious illness, like cancer, then start helping yourself by reading about how you can can improve your health and fight cancer.

If you are dealing with any type of addiction, read books about how to beat the addiction and live a better and healthier life.

If you are having problems connecting with your kids, then find books on how to improve your relationships with you children.

If you want to be more successful in life, pick up a book about success.

Books are everywhere. Written by people that have gone through what you might be facing right now and they are telling us how they came through their difficulties that they were facing and how they improved their lives.

Remember that the books you don't read won't help you.

Here are just a few benefits of reading books

It will give us knowledge
It improves our brain
It improves our memory
It improves our imagination
It gives us ideas
It improves our focus and our concentration

It's never too late to start reading books and the beautiful thing about knowledge is that no one can take it away from you.


Monday, January 13, 2020

A Healthy Outside Starts From The Inside

                                               "It's not that some people have willpower
                                                                  and some don't.
                                            It's that some people are ready to change
                                                             and other's are not."
                                                               - James Gordon

Our health is tied to our happiness. It's difficult to perform well if we are not taking properly take of ourselves.
When we prioritize our health and wellbeing we become more productive and we also have more energy.....and as a biproduct, we become happier.

Our health is tied to our happiness and our happiness is tied to moving towards something that is important to us, like..... our most important goals.

When we are moving towards something that is purposeful, important and something that we really enjoy, we feel happy, energized, satisfied and content.
We actually feel a sense of growth and wellbeing.

A healthy lifestyles not only changes our body. It also changes our attitude and our mood.
In 2020 make a commitment to yourself to take excellent care of your body, because that is the only place that you've got to live.

It's easy to neglect our health. It's easy to push off exercising to another day because we are too busy.
But our dreams will require all the energy that we have, so staying in shape should be a priority.

Love yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle.


Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Stay Away From "No Man's Land"

"Create the highest, grandest vision for your life, because you become what you believe." - Oprah Winfrey Do I Really Need A Vision For My Life? As a life coach, I get asked this question a lot and the short answer is....YES you do.
Let me tell you why.
Think about the New Year's resolution you just made. That serves as a kind of a vision for your life.....well, at least for a short period of time for most people. About 6 weeks, to be exact. Then you quit and for the rest of the year you are just drifting around until the next year comes along and then you make the same or a similar attempt again. This goes on for many year, without making any progress.
Every time you let go of your vison you start drifting and after years of doing this, most people will become discouraged, disappointed, angry, feel like a failure and then bitter. And some give up completely.
At this point you have entered..... as Tony Robbins calls it.....No Man's Land..... and it's not a good place to be.
Your situation is neither very bad or very good either. You  don't you feel like you need to take action to make anything happen. Like getting out of your comfort zone to try something new. You don't really feel like putting in the effort to grow, improve, expand and learn. You are in your comfort zone and you are somewhat comfortable, right now. Are you happy? Probably not. You are just drifting along hoping that something or someone will eventually change, but no real hurry because you are not to miserable yet. Welcome to No Man's Land.
A place where you don't want to be. It's not too hot or too cold. Just lukewarm. Why wait until we get so miserable that we can't take it anymore, before we decide to do something about it? It is exactly at  this point the majority of people start looking around and deciding that they must do something.  They must commit to making a change. Their situation has gotten so bad that they can't deal with it anymore.
Stay away from No Man's Land. Create a vison for your life and leave this land behind. No one want to live there.

Monday, January 6, 2020

Sometimes We Win and Sometimes We Learn

                                                       "I don't believe in failure;
                                   I believe there are setbacks that are put into our path
                              to teach us something and move us in a different direction."
                                                                 - Geri Jewell

I have had my fare share of losses and setbacks during 2019. Some of them very hurtful and I  wish that I wouldn't have had to through them, but I did. As we all one is exempt from pain.
So what do we do when we have gotten knocked down by big losses and failures in our lives?
We learn.

I believe that there are no wrongs paths in life. Failure is nothing but something or someone trying to move us in a different direction from the path we were going on.

The failures and the losses are there to wake us up from sleep waking and not paying as close attention as we should have. We learn as much from our failure as we do our wins, in life. Actually I believe we learn more from our losses, if we are willing to look at the lesson that is presented to us in the from of pain.

Pain isn't given to us to make us suffer. It's given to us to wake up in our lives and take action.
Our lives are bigger than any one just RELAX. You can handle it!!!

Are you on a detour right now? Do you need to turn around?
Don't allow yourself to get thrown off for too long. If you have fallen off the horse, get back on it, as quickly as possible and start moving in a new direction.

One way to get through a challenge is to get still and then ask yourself.....what is the right next move or action that I need to take?
Let you head clear for a while after a loss, because it will feel like you have been in a car wreck and you can't think clearly at this time.

Be still and don't get overwhelmed by thinking about everything all at once. Only think of the next right action step and then take it.

                                             If you don't jump darling, you will never fly.

Failure is only there to point us in a different direction.
Forgive the past.
Take responsibility and move forward.

Where in your own life have you been on a detour and need to take a brand new path?