Monday, March 30, 2020

Persistence Is Your Greatest Asset

                       "Adversity has the effect of drawing out strength and qualities 
                                of a man that would have lain dormant in its absence."
                                                             - Herodotus

The bookstores and also the internet are filled with self-help books, articles, seminars and podcasts loaded with ideas that we all can use to be more successful in our lives.

However, all the ideas, advice and wisdom in the world won't help any of us if we don't motivate ourselves to take persistent, and continuous action in the direction of our vision and our goals.

The most important quality of success is self-discipline.
Self-discipline means that you will do what you know you must do, when you need to do it, whether you feel like it or not.

Do you have the ability to follow through on a resolution after the enthusiasm with the resolution was made, has passed?

Can you discipline yourself to pay the price over and over again, until you have finally reached your goal?

Will you still be able to discipline yourself when things get tough?

Is persistence a habit that anyone can learn and increase with time?
Yes..... and each time that we persist in the face of adversity or setback, we will build up the habit of persistence. Persistence is very much like a muscle. The more we use it, the bigger it gets.

Here are some encouraging and inspirational words that will let us know why simply "hanging in there" or "press on" can make a huge difference in our lives.

"Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is dull of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
- Calvin Coolidge

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall."
- Confucius

"You become a champion by fighting one more round. When things are tough, you fight one more round."
- James J. Corbett

"There is no failure except in no longer trying."
- Elbert Hubbard

"It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up again."
- Vince Lombardi

"Success seems to be connected with action. Successful men keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit."
- Conrad Hilton

"What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he want and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it."
- Alexander Graham Bell

"You just keep pushing. You just keep pushing. I made every mistake that could be made, but I just kept pushing."
- Ren McPherson

"Before success comes in any man's life, he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps, some failure. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is quit. And that is exactly what a majority of men and women do."
- Napoleon Hill 

"Never give up then, for that is just the place and time the tide will turn."
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

"It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance, sweeps away all obstacles."
- Claude M. Bristol

"The most essential factor is persistence - the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitable come."
- James Whitcomb Riley

Persistence is the ability to face defeat again and again without giving up.

There is a great book called Three Feet From Gold......Have you read it?
It's written by Sharon L. Lechter and Greg S. Reid.
Check it out!!!

Here is a question for YOU!
Will you do what you have resolved to do?


Monday, March 23, 2020

Worry Is Like A Thief That Will Steal Your Peace

                                                              Worrying is a waste of time.
                                                              It doesn't change anything.
                                                              All it does is steal your joy 
                                                  and keep you very busy doing nothing.

Ninety-five percent of what we worry about in our life, will never actually happen. 
Worrying is a waste of time.

Do you worry a lot?
What exactly is worry?
You can say that worry is an attack on our mind, or I like to say.....our mind is being hijacked.

One definition of worry is: give way to anxiety or unease; allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.

Worrying is a learned habit and I have to admit that my mind will also get hijacked into worrying sometimes about all kinds of scary scenarios that probably will never happen. I have to work on doing away with this bad habit of worrying. But sometimes I do end up in the ditch with my mind showing me all kinds of movie clips of doom and gloom. This happens mostly when my mind is getting really tired.

Worry will prevent us from living in peace, feeling joy and happiness. Worry is like a thief that will steal our dream.

Some people might even get addicted to worrying. If they don't have something to worry about of their own, they will worry over someone else's situation or the situation of the world.

The problem with worry is that it accomplishes absolutely nothing. Instead it steals our peace because it's impossible to worry and be at peace at the same time. Feeling peaceful is a habit and so is worrying.

When we worry we give way to anxiety and unease. We allow our mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. Worry is like a source of nagging concern. In a way we are being tormented by our own disturbing thoughts. Stinking thinking.

Worry will keep our mind so busy with our own thinking that it never gets around to do what it's actually created to do. To create a vision for our life and to grow and expand. It will hinder our own progress.

                                           "Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair.
                                                 It gives you something to do
                                              but it doesn't get you anywhere."
                                                           - English proverb

Stop wasting your precious time trying to come up with and answer or solutions to difficulties and troubles that you have no control over. They might not have happened yet, and they might never even happen.

The problem is that if we dwell long enough in our own mind, it will eventually come out of our mouth. Remember that our words are very powerful and we listen to every word that we say. Our words will confirm our beliefs and also our faith.....or lack of faith.

Worry won't help us one bit. As a matter of fact it will only slow down or even hinder our progress. It's like spending today trying to figure out tomorrow. It's impossible to figure out tomorrow or the next day and the day after that. Don't spend today, worrying about tomorrow, because you have enough things going on today and it needs your full attention.

We must to learn to be mindful and to live here and now to the fullest. I also want to remind you that we are more capable than we usually give ourselves credit for. We are well equipped to handle what must be handled today. We mustn't waste our mental energy on tomorrow, for we will be equipped for what will happen tomorrow.

Our mind is sometimes like a soap opera director. It will play movies on our own mental screen of doom and gloom. Time to turn of those movies and time to get rid of the soap opera direction once and for all.

Here are a few TIPS!!!!

Take one day at a time. Don't worry and be anxious about tomorrow. Be here and now.....100 percent.

When a thought of worry or anxiety enters your mind, simply say.....NO Thank You!!! 
I got this..... I can handle it..... and I don't need you.

Ask for help from a higher power. It doesn't matter what you believe in,  but sometimes we will need a little help. Because sometimes a problem is too big for us to handle and we need to hand it over to something greater than ourselves. The battle is not ours to fight. Let it go and take a rest.

Stop wasting your time worrying because you will accomplish nothing. You will only waste your precious time and you will make yourself miserable. The time you spent worrying you will never get it back and you sure can use your time more wisely, than to worry.

Worrying is a learned habit that can be un-learned with some effort on your part, some trust and faith. You can't wait for a time when you have nothing to worry about, to stop worrying.....because it will probably never happen. Learn to have peace in the midst of the storm.

Have a vision and some goals for your life. When worry and anxiety sets in you can re-direct your thoughts onto your dream. Instead of focusing on worry.... you focus on accomplishing your big dream and your goals.

Turn off the TV and the 24 hours newsfeed once in a while and give your mind a break. Don't read about all the doom and gloom in the newspaper and online. This one is an easy fix. You must give yourself a break once in a while. Also stop talking about all your worries. You are just making them bigger and bigger.

What Do You Gain By Worrying?

Worry is useless. Worry doesn't not accomplish anything good.
Worry never makes anything why not give it up?


Monday, March 16, 2020

Bad Habits To Stop And Good Habits To Adopt

                                           "We are what we repeatedly do.
                                         Success is not an action but a habit."
                                                           - Aristotle 

The strategies that I am going to share with you today, you already know about. It's not that we don't know what to do, but we forget to do what we know. This is simple but tried and true wisdom that I will share with you today.
Just a little reminder to get us all back on track.

Eat Less
Move More
Stress Less
Love More 

Simple ….but not always easy to do.
So let's go over this.

                               "It's easier ton prevent bad habits than to break them."
                                                              - Benjamin Franklin 

Eat Less.
We all know what eating healthy means. First we usually eat too much food and it's usually not the healthy food that we overindulge in. Who ever overate on celery or carrots sticks and suddenly gained 20 pounds??? Cut our SALT, SUGAR and white FLOUR as much as possible. Learn to love to eat vegetables, fruits, nuts and whole grains. Learn meat and fish is also recommended and limit your intake of processed foods. If you are allergic to something like dairy or gluten..... just to name a few....simply stay away from those kinds of food. Your body is letting you know that it doesn't want that kind of food. Be smart basically already know what is good for your body. What will give your body energy and maintain your health. Stay away from always eating out at restaurant or at least limit the times you are eating out. Get in your kitchen and start cooking up some healthy meals. Do it as a family. Have fun. Get the kids involved. Cooking your own meals doesn't have to be complicated and you can use it as an activity to get everyone in the household involved. 

Move More.
Get your body moving. Nobody will benefit from being a couch potato. I recommend that you find an exercise that you enjoy doing, or chances are that you won't do it. If you love walking, then walk. If you love going to the gym, join a gym. If you love swimming, then swim. If you love to dance, then dance. Figure out what you like to do and then do it. At least 30 minutes per day, five times per week. Nobody ever got in shape by watching people exercise or doing some kind of sport on TV. You actually have to do the work yourself. Hire a personal trainer or find a work-out buddy to get you going and to keep you motivated. Get your kids involved. Get your spouse involved. Get your friends involved and maybe you can get to know some new friends? The better you feel about yourself and by increasing both your physical and mental energy, the better you will show up for your spouse, family, friends and co-workers.
I will take good care of me....for you, and you will take good care of you.....for me.
It's a win-win situation. Get off the couch and getting moving again. 

Stress Less.
Time to get a handle on your stress. Do you really need to stay so busy all the time? Are you actually doing things that are helping you, that are a benefit to YOU, your health and your wellbeing? Or are you just being busy..... being busy? This might take some soul-searching on your part. Is there some things that you can take off your busy schedule to make some time for things that will help you relax and enjoy your life more? Chronic stress will eventually make you forgetful and even stupid. It will affect your brain and your body in an unhealthy way. When we are stressing around we are usually not having empowering thoughts about ourselves and our life. Negative thoughts increases the flow of stress hormones in our bodies, which will accelerate aging, decrease the immune system, increase the risk for anxiety, blood pressure, other diseases, pains and aches in your body.
Learn to say "NO".....or you body will do it for you the form of some kind of illness.
The body will always keep the score.

Love More.
Start by loving yourself first. If you don't have love and respect for yourself, it will be impossible to love and respect anyone else. You cannot give away what you don't have, no matter how hard you try. So start with YOU. "Stinking thinking" will increase the flow of stress hormones so we have to change our thoughts to change the flow of bad hormones to good hormones. Positive thoughts will strengthen us and negative thoughts will weaken us. We don't have control over much in life but we all have control over our own thoughts. Start by being loving and kind to yourself. Think loving and empowering thoughts about yourself. Don't say negative things about yourself, because your subconscious mind is always listening and it believes everything that you say about yourself, even if it isn't true. So watch your speech and your thoughts. Do loving things for yourself. Keep unhealthy relationships and toxic people away from you. Don't get involved in gossip, judging and criticizing others. When you feel good about yourself...... when you love yourself...... when you respect yourself, you will attract similar people into your life. So be kind and loving to yourself. Give love to others because you want to. Not because you want something back.

If you want to change, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable.


Monday, March 9, 2020

It's All About You

                              "YOU, yourself, just as much as anyone in the entire Universe,
                                                       deserve your love and affection:"
                                                                      - Buddha

How is your relationship with yourself?
Are you taking great care of yourself when it comes to your physical, mental and emotional health?
It's not selfish to take care of yourself.

Where are you on the list of people that you are taking care of?
Are you on the top? Or are you on the very bottom of the list?

And if you are being totally honest..... are there so many people to take care of and by the time you get to finishing taking care of all of them, you seldom get around to taking care of yourself?
Does this sound like you?

Every day you might be asking yourself....."When is someone going to do something for me?" Or
"When is someone ever going to appreciate me....I do all the work around here!"
Does this sound familiar?

If you don't take care of yourself, you will finally get to a point where you won't be able to take care of other people.
You might get to a point where it will be physically impossible for you to take care of others.
Or it will be mentally or emotionally impossible for you to do it.
Or you might be so drained and worn out from taking care of others that you now have become angry and even resentful from always helping others, and maybe they secretly wish that you wouldn't help them because you constantly show up with such a bad attitude.

                                           "Self respect, self worth and self love,
                                                         all start with self.
                                      Stop looking outside for your value."
                                                         - Rob Liamo

If you don't love yourself, it will be impossible for you to love anyone else. You can't give away what you don't have.

If you have no love for yourself, how are you going to be able to love anyone?
If you don't value yourself, how will you be able to value anyone?
If you don't respect yourself, how will you be able to respect anyone else?

It's impossible for me to give you something that I don't have. It doesn't matter how hard I try. If I don't have it, I can't give it to you.

If I have an apple, I can give that apple to you. But if I don't have an apple to give you, it doesn't matter how hard I try to give you an apple, I don't have an apple to give to you. If I don't have something to give you, it doesn't matter how hard I try, I simply can't give it to you.

Are you being hard on yourself? How are threating others? Are you being hard on them?

Time to do a little soul searching and figure out what kind of relationship you have with yourself.
Take some time to yourself..... and really figure this one out.

Do you like yourself?
Do you love yourself?
Do you value yourself?
Do you respect yourself?
Do you do things for yourself?
Do you meet you valid needs without feeling guilty about it?

                           Self care is not self indulange. Self care is self respect.


Monday, March 2, 2020

Are You Seen? Heard? Valued?

                               "I define connection as the energy that exists between people 
                      when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive 
                      without judgement and when they derive sustenance and strength from
                                                                  the relationship."
                                                                  - Brene Brown

Do you feel seen, heard and valued by the people closest to you?

One of the most important experiences we can give another person is visibility. I see you.  I hear you and what you say and do matters to me.

The experience of being seen is a deep human need, and it is in our closest relationships where we meet this need. The more we share these kind of moments, the stronger and more resilient our relationship become.

We want to know that the other person cares about us. That they see us, that they hear us and we want to feel and know that we matter.

                                                              "Can you see me?
                                                              Can you hear me?
                                        Does anything I say mean anything to you?"
                                                             - Oprah Winfrey 

Now, I want you to take a good look at yourself and be totally honest. Are you being present with the people closest to you? Are you making them feel seen, heard and valued?

What do you do when someone that you are close to, is talking to you? Are you looking at them and being present in the moment, 100 percent? Or are you looking at your phone, the TV or Facebook?

What do you do when you are in a meeting with someone and they are sitting opposite you at the desk. Are you looking at them and being involved in the conversation? Or are you staring at you computer screen, your cell phone or your watch?

People can sense and they can see right away if you are not paying attention to them and to the conversation. 

What do you do when you are talking to someone on the phone? Are you paying attention to what is being said? Or are your surfing the internet, doing the dishes or looking through a magazine?

Just because the other person can't see you doesn't mean that they can't sense that you are not paying attention to them and to what is being said. At this moment you are not making the other person feel seen and heard.

How are you going to act the next time someone that you care about is asking for your attention?
Are you going to be there with them 100 percent? Are you going to make them feel seen, heard and valued?

Just keep in mind that the next time someone is asking to be seen, heard and might be you. You want to feel that you matter to someone. How are you going to feel if that person is ignoring you? They are listen to you while they are staring at their phone or the TV.
At this time would you feel seen and heard? And would you feel like you matter to this other person?

               We all want to be seen. We all want to be heard. We all want to matter.


Monday, February 24, 2020

Is It Really True?

                              No matter how many people believe or don't believe in you, 
                                          you must be the ultimate believer in yourself.

Have you ever stopped yourself and thought about where your beliefs and views actually came from?

Why you believe what you believe?

Where is your belief coming from?

Is it a belief that came from you?

Or are you believing what you believe because it came from your parents? Maybe your spouse? Your boss? Co-workers? Your friends? Or society?

Where did this belief come from and why do your believe it?

Maybe it's about time to start looking at some of those old views and beliefs that you have? Are they really true?

As you try to find out why you hold these views and beliefs many of your old views will fall to pieces.

Form a clear and definite idea regarding your convictions as to why you do and to why you think as you think.
You know, most people never really never examine their views and then ask themselves …..why do I believe that?

I bet a lot of the beliefs that you are still holding onto you have inherited. They were built into you by your parents, their parents and their patents. Some of them go way back and they have been built into your genes.

Why do you continue to do the things that you really don't want to do? And why don't you do what you really want to do?
Is it because of some old belief that you have of yourself? Are they yours? If not....where did they come from?

The thoughts, views or beliefs that we repeatedly think will become fixed in our own mind and then these thoughts and beliefs are going to determine what happens in our life.

Why do you believe what you believe?
Have you ever analyzed your own thought patters and beliefs?
Why do you think what you think?

Time to start looking and examine those thought patterns or beliefs.  Do it before you allow your belief, views or thought patterns to limit you.


Monday, February 17, 2020

Taming Your Stress

                                           "We can never obtain peace in the outer world,
                                                   until we make peace with ourselves."
                                                                  - Dalai Lama

Are you overloading yourself with responsibilities, getting busier and busier so that you don't have to feel?

Are you trying to do everything you can, so that you don't have to deal with pain?

Are you just making it through the day and through life, living in anger, blaming society, yourself and blaming everyone else?

You can continue to be busy for the rest of your life constantly trying to escape and avoid the pain....but is this starting to cause a lot of stress in your life?

Everyone has stress in their lives. Most people want to have less stress, but I believe that a lot of people would like to have less stress reaction to things that are happening in their life. They want to learn how to cope with stress, when they feel overwhelmed.

Here are a few tips!

Change your  perception of stress. 
You can continue stay busy for the rest of your life and avoid the pain. Bur avoiding the pain usually with some form of addiction will only wreck bigger havoc in your life down the road.

Heal the underlying pain so that you no longer have to stay busy trying to escape it. If you don't deal with the underlying pain you will continue to run and stay busy for the rest of your life. You must look at the wound, clean it out and heal it. Don't just put a band-aid over it, without cleaning it out.
Feel the pain..... Deal with the pain and …..Heal the pain.

Fill up your energy tank every day for your energy bank account. 
Think of your body as your energy tank. If you don't fill up your energy tank daily, you will end up having an energy overdraft. It works just like the money in your bank account. Take care of the energy overdrafts quickly before they pile up. Make sure that you don't wait for and emergency our crisis to happen before you tend to your energy overdrafts. Practice "Balance Tools" when everything is normal. Don't wait for a crisis to happen because then you are under stress you will operate less effectively and it will be harder for you to bounce back unless you have developed a practice.

Learn to set boundaries with people. 
Guard your ME-time. Tell your spouse, family, friends that this is your time and Don't Disturb. You ME-time can be anything you choose. Like exercising, meditation, yoga, reading a book, listening to a podcast, slow walk in the park or simply just sitting still and reflect. You decide the activity and for how long. Practice self-care and remember that self-care isn't selfish. It's an investment in yourself. You will show up more effectively for yourself, others and also the world, when you feel more centered, more at peace, and less reactive.

Setting boundaries is learning to say NO. If you constantly continue to say yes to others, your body will eventually say NO to you, usually in the form of some kind of illness.

Time to change the perception of time.
A lot of people feel like they are so busy and that there is never enough time.
The truth is that we all have the same amount of time per day. The difference is your attitude towards managing your time.
Is it time to change your perception of time? Maybe you must learn some new time management routines so you can learn to run the day instead of the day running you?

Mind full
or Mindful?


Monday, February 10, 2020

We Are Much Better At Causing Hurt Than Feeling Hurt

                                        Feeling pain means feeling human...….
                              by allowing ourselves to feel we become stronger,
                            more resilient, and better equipped to manage adversity.

What do you do when one of your buttons have been pushed?
In other words what do you do when you are feeling hurt, shamed, embarrassed or angry?

Are you trying to offload your pain onto someone else?
Or do you find yourself in the pantry looking for some carbs to calm your nerves?
Or are you reaching our for a glass of wine or two?

When something happens in our life that makes us react, that energy doesn't just disappear into the air. Every time that we feel hurt, angry, guilty, embarrassed or ashamed we are usually going to do something with that energy. Some of us will end up in the pantry but some of us might pass that energy onto the next person.
Have you ever done this.....someone gets angry at you or makes you feel hurt or guilty and immediately you lash out at them..... or you walk away and later you take it out on someone else, like a co-worker, spouse, child,  friend or dog? Most people off load their pain instead of feeling it themselves.
Ever heard the saying..... "Hurt people will hurt other people"?

Have you ever worked for someone who acts like this? Or maybe you were raised by a parent like that? Or maybe you have been in a relationship with someone like that?
That is egg shell environment.

Back in 2010 when I was in a relationship with a narcissist, this happened pretty frequently. I could say something innocent, but without knowing, I triggered a button within him and he could go off in a rage attack. Sometimes it could be my tone of voice or I might have been looking at him in the wrong way and he would fly off the handle. Not a great environment to be in. Very stressful because it didn't matter what I said or did, he would be triggered and lash out at me. I left that man in 2012 because no matter what you do when you are in a relationship with someone like that, you are always walking on thin ice. This man was a lot better at inflicting pain onto others instead of dealing with it himself. And the truth is, I had nothing to do with his anger, hurt and pain. Those were wounds that  had been inflicted on him as a young child and that never got healed during adulthood.

When it comes to anger, blame, avoidance or hurt, people will push it down so far and at a later date they will explode when there might just be an innocent comment made by someone. This seemingly innocent comment is enough to send them into a rage.

Also some people will push it down for so long that finally their body can't handle it anymore. Your body will always keep the score and eventually it will turn on your in the form of an illness. Or depression, anger, anxiety, fear or problems with sleeping. You body is taking in that energy all the time and then the energy gets stuck in the body, creating all kinds of problems, later in life.

What can we do when we get triggered or when our buttons get pushed?

First we have to acknowledge that our button has been pushed.
Then we have to realize that something emotional is going on.
We must get curious about our emotions.
What does it mean? Why am I feeling this way? Where is it coming from?

Are you going into an old crazy story about what is going on, or are you willing to look at why you are emotionally hooked, hurt or stressed out about it? Is there something that you need to figure out?

Realize you have been triggered.
Lean into the pain and the hurt..... instead of trying to escape it or unload it on someone else.
Be crious about it. Figure out what is going on.
Find the truth instead of going into your "crazy" story.


Monday, February 3, 2020

20 Nuggets of Wisdom

Today I have decided to change things up a little bit.
Instead of a BLOG post I will give you some "Nuggets of Wisdom" for you to ponder on today and hopefully for the rest of the week.

I hope you find these "Nuggets" insightful, mind opening and inspiring.

1 - No matter how much experience you  have, we all feel doubt and anxiety when we are creating new things or share ourselves in front of others.

2 - The key to create any habit, healthy or unhealthy is consistency.

3 - If you remain positive in the face of an obstacle, it will motivate action instead of submission and you will conquer the obstacle.

4 - Successful people have more than education and experience. They have great habits and great attitudes.

5 - Attitude creates the way you feel about people and situations. Your actions are a result of your attitude, which in turn creates a reaction from others.

6 - There are no short cuts to any place worth going.

7 - Never be too big to ask questions, and never know to much to learn something new.

8 - You must have an open mind to the awesome possibilities and opportunities out there.

9 - If your desk is messy, your mind may be more frantic and cluttered.

10 - In the end it's how we feel about ourselves that will provide us with increased courage and creativity.

11- Realizing how valuable we are will play a major role in our lives. Our self-worth makes a difference in being active or lazy. If we don't feel good about ourselves, we won't seek advantages and opportunities to make our lives better.

12 - Having inner resources to deal with the ups and downs of life, whether it's reliance or inner strength, will give you an advantage against stress.

13 - Life doesn't demand perfection. It simply requires that you keep showing up.

14 - Feeling anxious or nervous or afraid doesn't mean you are not "good enough" to do what you are about to do. It is usually an indication that you are doing exactly what you should be doing.

15 - Courageous patience is the willingness and the ability to stay the course in the face of uncertainty, doubt and after criticism from others.

16 - You have to take great care of yourself. Not only will you be healthier but you will be more productive and when great ideas and when opportunity comes your way, you will be ready to take advantage of the success or idea.

17 - The greatest source of unhappiness is.....self-unhappiness. The greatest source of unhappiness doesn't come from the outside, it comes from the inside.

18 - Realize when others treat you badly, it's not about you, but about their own suffering.

19 - The road less travelled is full of obstacles, steep inclines, detours and distractions. But it's the only true path to success.

20 - Your future is not determined by luck. It is determined by your willingness to make small investments consistently in the direction of your dreams.


Monday, January 27, 2020

Keep Showing Up Every Day

                                                "Believe in yourself and all that you are.
                                                Know that there is something inside you
                                                  that is GREATER than any obstacle."

On our journey to success in life we will occasionally meet with temporary defeat. It will probably happen more than once, so be prepared. Most people will quit when they are met with an obstacle or a setback. They often believe that it's final and at this point they simply give up.

Most people will experience a setback as being final instead of simply looking at it as something temporary. At this time we might just need to make a few adjustments.  This is not the time to quit.
Remember's temporary.

A lot of people are very interested in accomplishing their goals. Well, I believe we all are interested. But it takes a little more than just being interested to be able to reach anything worthwhile in life. It's takes commitment. In other words, it takes stickability. We need to stick to accomplishing our goal, no matter what kind of setbacks and delays that we encounter on our path.

They say that a dream is just a dream, until it's written down. Only then does it become a goal.
A goal is a actually a contract with yourself. A commitment to YOU. You are promising yourself that you will do something for yourself. Don't break that promise to yourself, just because you are encountering a temporary defeat or delay, right now. Don't give up at a low point. Keep on going.

Stop focusing what you have lost. Instead focus on what you have left. Keep your eyes on the ultimate goal or the price and then believe in your own talents.

Also make sure that you give yourself some breathing room. Sometimes when we are in the middle of a setback or delay, we have to step back and look at the situation from a different angle, to find a solution, get our energy back so that we can rise and start walking on our path again.

Have faith. Keep showing up every day and do your best..... and eventually things will happen for you.


Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Empower Yourself By Reading Books

                                                     Learning is a treasure that will 
                                                       follow its owner everywhere."
                                                             - Chinese Proverbs

When was the last time you read an educational book....cover to cover?
Do you even remember?
If you don' are not alone.

I read a lot of books when I was a teenager and also in my early twenties. But after I got married and moved to the US, I seldom read a book.
I believe this is very common for a lot of people. As soon as school and our education is over, we feel like we don't need to read and learn anymore, so we stop reading books, except for some fictional books that we read once in a while.

In April of 2010 all of that changed for me.
At that time I was told by my therapist that the man that I was in a relationship with was a narcissist.
Heck, I didn't know much at that time about what it meant to be a narcissist. I just knew that they were usually very selfish. At this time I had sought the help from a therapist, because the man that I was with, was acting very strange and being in a relationship with him, made me feel extremely bad, anxious and uncomfortable. It got worse as the days went by, and I couldn't understand why.

After my therapist told me that the man that I was with was narcissistic, I started my research online into narcissism. Back then 10 years ago, people wasn't talking as much about narcissism as they do today and at that time there wasn't as much information online and not as many books to buy, as you can find today. But I searched and immersed myself in reading and learning as much as I could about narcissism. I read article after article. And I listen to countless podcasts and I bought books at Barnes & Noble, to try figure out what I was dealing with at home.

Starting my research into narcissism in 2010, saved my life.
After reading and learning for a while, I understood what I was dealing with when it came to my narcissistic partner and our relationship. I understood what was going on, and after a while I could anticipate his next move(s). I did all of this to understand and also to protect myself, so I wasn't going to get hurt. Because this man was emotionally and psychologically abusive and he was manipulating and using brainwashing techniques to control me.

I left him in 2012, and I don't have any contact with this man today.
After I had left the relationship  I read and learned a lot more about narcissism and why some people become narcissistic, and also the best way to deal with these kinds of people in the future, when we run into them again. Because we will.

Reading books and articles, listening to audio-books, podcasts and webinars, changed my life, forever.

Fast forward 10 years. Today a lot more people are now talking about narcissism, and unfortunately there are a lot of people who has become victims to narcissistic abuse. I won't say that I am expert when it comes to this subject, but I know a lot about narcissism. First I had the experience with a narcissist and then I have spent countless hours researching the subject.

Today I don't read a lot about narcissism, but once in a while I have to do some more research.
Today I focus completely on personal development. I also started reading books, blogs, listening and attending seminars online on this topic, back in 2010.

During these past 10 years I have no idea on how many books or articles that I have read, as I continue to read on a daily basis. I have no idea on how many online podcasts and seminars that I have listen to during these past 10 years, but I know it's a lot.
I love to learn and I feel I must continue to learn, grow and expand so that I can become and handle things better.

And by constant never ending learning,  I can also better serve my coaching clients, write my books, and build my coaching business. (My own coaching business got started in 2012)

When GOD want to give you a gift, he wraps it up in a problem. 

Today I am grateful for what happened to me back in 2010, because it woke me up from sleepwalking through life and not using my gifts and living up to my full potential. At the end of the day I didn't feel like I was living my purpose. I was drifting in life and it was time for me to wake up and change myself and my life.

"Don't wish things were easier. Wish you were better."

"For things to get better for you, you have to get better."

Both quotes are by Jim Rohn. One of my favorite virtual mentors.

How do we get better? By developing ourselves.
How do we develop ourselves? By reading, learning, expanding, growing and trying new things.
In other Personal Development.

We have to participate in our own recue

I don't know what is going on in your life right now.

Back in 2010, I was facing a very difficult situation. I was dealing with a partner that was abusive to me, so I started reading books about narcissism and emotional abuse, to help myself.

If you are facing problems in your marriage, start reading books on how to improve your intimate relationships.

Are you dealing with a bankruptcy or any other difficult financial situation, then read books about how to improve your finances.

Are you facing a serious illness, like cancer, then start helping yourself by reading about how you can can improve your health and fight cancer.

If you are dealing with any type of addiction, read books about how to beat the addiction and live a better and healthier life.

If you are having problems connecting with your kids, then find books on how to improve your relationships with you children.

If you want to be more successful in life, pick up a book about success.

Books are everywhere. Written by people that have gone through what you might be facing right now and they are telling us how they came through their difficulties that they were facing and how they improved their lives.

Remember that the books you don't read won't help you.

Here are just a few benefits of reading books

It will give us knowledge
It improves our brain
It improves our memory
It improves our imagination
It gives us ideas
It improves our focus and our concentration

It's never too late to start reading books and the beautiful thing about knowledge is that no one can take it away from you.