Wednesday, December 7, 2016

How to turn a set back into a comeback

In life things are going to go wrong.

We will all have to deal with a constant wave of problems and occasional setbacks and crisis.

If you have lost your health, job, home, nest egg or a relationship...what are you doing to pull yourself through?

What do you do when your life falls apart and everything has become total uncertainty?

What do you do to turn things around?

In 2012 my own life totally imploded and I was faced with a very tough situation.
How was I able to pull myself through and what was the biggest elements that made a big difference in my life and help me turn around a big crisis into a at comeback.

My mom died in the end of 2011. Three months later I walked away from a highly toxic and abusive relationship and within a few days I left the US where I had lived for 25 years to return to Sweden where I was born. I had nothing left of my old life except for my 2 wonderful dogs and some clothes and some personal belongings.

First I was depressed and overwhelmed and I didn´t know what to do.
I really didn´t think that there was anything that I could do to change my situation.
My life had become total uncertainty.
I asked myself...... What can I do to turn things around? What can I do to change myself?

I did many things but today I will share with you the 5 most important things that I did to be able to take myself to next level during a very difficult time in my life.

- Take control of your mind. Feed it. Strengthen it.
Focus on what you can control. What you can make happen. What you are here on this earth to do.
Fear and uncertainty will take over your mind and your body if you allow it. Your mind will run wild and will unleash all kinds of thoughts that will make us start to believe that things will never change. That things will always be the same. That it will always be bad and that we will never be able to turn things around. That we don´t have the capability to make things happen.
Your "crazy voices are going to run wild if you don´t learn to focus. Take control of your mind and your thoughts and start to focus on things that you can control.

First you have to stand guard at the door of your own mind. There are all kinds  of messages out there that will fight for your attention. Messages are constantly coming at us.
Things will feed into our minds through TV, newspapers, Internet and people around you.
If you leave your mind wide open you will start to accept things and opinions around you and they will become beliefs and then you will make up meanings that will eventually take over your life.

Read books and empowering articles. Feed your mind daily. At least for and hour or two minimum per day. Listening to empowering messages and seminars (YouTube is filled with great material to listen to).
Feed your mind with good stuff or the weeds that are all around you will eventually take over your life.

We are what we eat but we are also what we read and what we listen to. If your setback is financial, then read books about finances. If it´s a health issue, that read about that subject. Or if it is about relationships then find books in that area.
Make sure that what you listen to and read is nutritious and that it will strengthen your mind.

- Strengthen you body.
Make sure that you feed your body healthy and nutritious stuff.
Make sure that you move your body. Move the stuck energy though your body.
If you move your body your energy will change. Try to push yourself a little.
When you are starting to push your body a little more, eventually you will feel that you can push through anything.
Your body will change and so will your mind.

- Find a role model.
Find someone that will inspire, motivate you and show you the way.
Show you what is possible for you. If they can can you.
You need to see some examples of people who have done what you are trying to do, to make you believe that is possible.
Whatever you are trying to change.......there will be someone out verve that has already done and gone through what you are going through right now. And they pulled through. Find them. Study them. Learn from them and then do what they did.
Start to believe that there is a way through. That there is a path that someone has walked before you.
Find real examples. Study history. Read books.....people´s biographies are great.
There are people out there have been through tough times but they pulled themselves through and they are now doing great.

I have gotten a lot of help from Oprah and her program SuperSoulSunday.
Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Brian Tracy...... just to name a few.
All these people have gone through huge difficulties and they made it through and became very successful people.

- Get a plan and take action.
Remember nothings happens until you move. Do something.
Most people don´t begin the journey because they are not sure what to do, or how to do it right or how to do it perfect.
Just start. Get yourself going. Don´t wait for the perfect plan.
Get momentum.
Try something new. If it doesn´t work you can try something else.

- Gratitude.
Find what you are grateful for.
Take time for prayer, meditation or just quiet time.
Take in the moment and think about what you are truly grateful for in your life right now.
Learn to focus on what you have in life, rather than what is missing and what you have lost.
Focus on what is great in your life.
What you have and the people that you love and the people that love you.

Find a way to do something for someone else, that is worse off than you are.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, December 5, 2016

How To Deal With Problems And Setbacks In Life

                                    "Don´t wish it was easier, wish you were better.
                                   Don´t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.
                               Don´t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.
             The major value in life is not what you get. The major value is what you become."
                                                                - Jim Rohn

Are you having problems in your life right now?
Or maybe you are even facing a crisis or a huge setback at this moment?

Yes.....believe it or not.....everyone has problems. No one is exempt from having problems, setbacks and crisis in their lives.

Actually life is a continuous series of problems. They never end. The problems just keep on coming. Like the waves of the ocean.

The only break you might get in this continuous flow of problems it an occasional setback or even a crisis.

So life will be problems and then a crisis.
After you solve and get out of the crisis, there will be new problems and then another crisis.
Just like the waves of the ocean.

In life things are going to go wrong.
We cannot avoid or control problems and setbacks in life.
But what we can do is not to allow ourselves to become upset or angry.
Instead deal with the problems or the crisis.
Learn from it and then pick yourself back up.

How do you respond to a setback or a crisis?
How do you deal with a problem?

Do you look for the solution to the problem?
Or do you allow yourself to become upset or angry when something goes wrong and then you whine and complain and blame others for your problem or crisis?

When you are having a problem or in the middle of a crisis....always look for a solution.

Another great idea is to look for something good within the problem.
Usually there will always be something good that you will benefit from.

Seek the valuable lesson in very problem, setback, crisis or obstacle.
You will find that there will be a lesson for you to learn.

Learn the lesson that the problem is providing and it will allow you to be a lot smarter the next time something happens.

Look at the biggest problem that you are facing today and then ask yourself.......

What is this problem or this crisis trying to tell me?

What is the lesson that I need to learn?

Your biggest problem today might be the biggest gift that you have ever received.
Because it may contain within it the lesson that you need to be successful in life.

This lesson might transform your life, if you are willing to look at the lesson instead of blaming others and complain about it.

By facing and overcoming your problems and your crisis, you will grow stronger, wiser and more confident.

More on how to deal with problems and crisis in Wednesday´s Blog.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Friday, December 2, 2016

How to Accomplish a Major Goal in 2017 - Great Exercise

                                                   "Winners must have two things:
                            definite goals, and a burning desire to accomplish them."
                                                               - Brad Burde

Want to accomplish a major goals in 2017?

Today I have a great exercise that I want to share with you that will make an amazing difference and huge progress in your life.

Take a piece of paper and write down 10 goals that you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months.
Put today´s date on top of the paper.

After you have written down 10, goals ask yourself this important question......

If I could only accomplish one goal on this list, but I could accomplish it within the 24 hours.
Which goal would have the greatest impact on my life?

There will usually be one goal that will jump right out at you.
That is the one that will have the greatest impact on your life.

It can be a health/fitness goal, maybe a financial goal or a relationship goal.

Decide on the goal that is the most important one and then write it down on the top of another piece of paper.
Set a deadline on the goal.

Make a list of everything that you can think of that you can do to achieve this goal, and then begin working on that list.

Do something every day.

Make sure that you do something every day that will move you one step closer toward your major goal.

- Select you most important goal
- Make a plan.
- Work it daily.

Doing this will change your life in ways that you cannot imagine and one year from now you will look back and you will be amazed at all the progress you have made.

                                        Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Stay In Your Own Race

                              "If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter,
                         but if you continuously compete with yourself, you become better."

There is no race.....there is only a runner.

You are the runner.

You should run as hard and as fast as you can.

But ignore the other people on the course, because they are using a different clock, a different distance, a different race.

Stay in your own race.

Be happy with the life you have chosen for yourself, and live it fully.

Leave others to theirs.

                                        Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, November 28, 2016

Don´t Allow Your Past To Destroy Your Future

               "After a while you must let go of what lies behind you and press forward.
                                     If you don´t, the past will destroy your future."
                                                            - Joyce Meyer

Last week I heard a powerful story told by Wayne Dyer.
And today I want to share this story with you.
It is called "The Wake."

Think of your life as a boat and it is heading up the river at 40 knots. And as it is going you are metaphorically standing at the stern, the back of the boat and you are looking down in the water and there goes your life in this direction and you are standing here looking down at the water and you ask yourself these three questions.

Question number one.
What is the wake? What is this thing that you see?
And the answer is........ The wake is the trail that is left behind.
That is what it is. Nothing more and nothing less.

Question number two.
What is driving the boat? What is making this thing go in this direction?
And the answer is........The present moment energy that is being generated by the engine.
And nothing more.
That is the only thing that is making the boat go in this direction.
And in the scene, it means that it is the present moment thoughts, that I have and how I am using them that is making my life go in this direction, and nothing more.

Bu the third question is the most powerful question.
Is it possible for the wake to drive the boat? Can a trail that is left behind make a boat go in this direction?
And of course the answer is....NO, it can´t.
It is just a trail that is left behind.

And in that trail there are an enormous number of things that everyone of us have as a wake, and we have a whole lot of stuff in it.

And one of the problems that we have....... is that we have a tendency to look at the wake and all of the stuff that is in it, to explain .......
Why it is that my life isn´t working out the way I would like it to work.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Friday, November 25, 2016

Create Some Space In Your Life

                                                    "It is nice finding that place
                                               where you can just go and relax."
                                                                - Moises Arias

A lot of people fill their lives with endless activities.

And sometimes we might even schedule some sleep into our busy schedule.

If we continue to live like this it won´t allow for any creativity and magic time to enter our lives.
We will be too tired to notice it.

But in order to be successful we must learn to create a little space once in a while in our packed schedules.

If we create a little more space in our lives, we will be able to connect to something bigger than ourselves and that will allow for some creative energy to flow through us.

We can create more space in our lives by meditating, yoga, listening to some soft music, sitting still in nature, going for a slow walk or scheduling some quiet time where we simply just do nothing for a period of time.

Being able to create some space in our busy schedules is a huge element for success because it will allow us to have easier access to our creativity and also our inner guidance.

Have you ever tried to solve a problem and no matter how much you tried to analyze it or tried to solve it... you were not able to come up with a solution?

So instead you decided to go for a walk or maybe you decided to just take a break and go out in your garden or nature and all of a sudden you came up with a solution to your problem.

You just created some space between you and the problem and you allowed some creativity and inner guidance to come to you.

Create some space, magic or quiet time on a daily base.

                                        Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

How To Live Life On Your Terms

                                                     "You deserve to be happy.
                                    You deserve to live a life you are excited about.
                                             Don´t let others make you forget that."

Would you like to live life on your own terms?

We can do this by getting a clear enough vision of what we want, inspire and motivate ourselves, overcome fears that will pop up and also limitations in our own minds and push through the pain.

If we can do this....... there isn´t anyone on this earth that can´t have an extraordinary life, business or relationship.

Get comfortable with who you are.

Be yourself. Never be somebody that other people want you to be.

Continue to grow, inspire, give and love.

To be yourself is the ultimate freedom of all.

A freedom that you can only give to yourself.

We are all unique. We all have gifts.

Claim your gift and create the life that you deserve.

Are you willing to do what is necessary to embody the truest vision for your life?

                                         Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, November 21, 2016

Are You Suffering From "Imposter Syndrome?"

                                      "I still believe that at any time the NO-talent police
                                                        will come and arrest me."
                                                                  - Mike Myers

I was talking to one of my clients a couple of weeks ago, and she was telling me about her new promotion and her increased salary.

Instead of being exited about this new opportunity, she felt scared instead...... and then she suddenly told me.....
"I wonder when they are going to find out about me?
I asked her what she meant by that remark.
She explained "I wonder when they are going to find out that I am not as good as they think I am? That I don´t deserve the job and that I am not really capable of doing it."
She explained that she felt like a fraud.

After listening to my client I explained to her that there is something called "Imposter Syndrome" and today I will explain to you what is all about.

Many successful people and especially women will suffer from "Imposter Syndrome".
They feel like they are a fraud. They feel like that are less qualified than their peers or co-workers and that they are less deserving of success.
They live in fear that one day they will be "found out". So to deal with this fear of being found out they often work harder and longer than anyone else.

Will working harder than anyone else really make you feel less like a fraud or are you simply trying to compensate for feeling unworthy?

A lot of times when you are suffering from this syndrome you will not seek out new challenges in life. It might stop you from seeking new jobs because of the fear of not being able to meet the expectations that a new job will bring and that they lack the skills and that they can never be successful.
They often feel that they don´t have the ability to do a new job. So they might decide to remain where they are instead of taking a chance at this new job, for the fear of being found out.
They fear that people will figure out that they are a fraud.

From Wikipedia
"Imposter Syndrome is a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Dr. R. Clance and Suzanne A. Innes referring to high-achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and persisted fear of being exposed as "fraud."

Despite external evidence of their competence those exhibiting the symptom remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved.
Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.

Some studies suggest that imposter syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women.

Psychological research done in the early 1980´s estimated that two out of five successful people consider themselves frauds and other studies have found that 70 percent of all people feel like imposters at one time or another.

It this is not addressed victims can develop anxiety, stress, low self-confidence, shame and self-doubt.

People who suffer from imposter syndrome tend to reflect and dwell upon extreme failure, mistakes and negative feedback from others.
If not addressed, imposter syndrome can limit exploration and the courage to delve into new experiences in fear of exposing failure.

Most people who experience imposter syndrome are unaware that others feel inadequate as well.

To be completely honest here.....I think a lot of us can relate to feeling like this.
I know I can.
I my own coaching business I have many times thought and said to myself "Who am I to try to help people?"
Or "All these people already know what I know. How can I charge for my services. I am not good enough."
"If a client talks to me for awhile they will soon find out that I really don´t know much at all."

Most of us are afraid that we are not good enough.

A couple of tips on how to deal with this!

- One simple way to deal with this is to talk or discuss it with a trusted friend, partner, co-  worker, mentor or coach.

- Make a list of you accomplishment.
  Write down all your accomplishments with reality. Later you can go back and read it.
  Don´t trust your memory. It is easy to forget and to downplay your accomplishments.
  Write them down.

- Develop a strong support system.

- Journaling. Write down your feelings or record them

- Don´t suffer in silence.
  Express your true feelings. Don´t be afraid to let other know how you feel.
  Don´t continue to live in fear. Bring out in the open. You are not alone in feeling this way.
  As they say........."The truth will set you free. "
- Ask yourself what your fear is all about?
  Remember that others are also feeling fear.
  It is perfectly natural.

- Learn to validate yourself.
  We all need validation from others, but we mostly need from ourselves.

Most of us make two basic errors.
1. We underestimate ourselves and our own ability
2. We overestimate the other persons ability.

Don´t sell yourself short.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Friday, November 18, 2016

Feed And Strengthen Your Mind

                                                     "It isn´t what the book costs.
                                        It´s what it will cost you if you don´t read it.
                                                                 - Jim Rohn

Everything in life is continuous growth.

Either we grow or we die.

The training and the learning never stops.

It is constant, never ending improvements of ourselves that will make us the most happy, fulfilled and alive.

Make a habit of feeding your mind with something uplifting and empowering on a daily base.

Raise your standards by reading a book for at least 30-60 minutes per day.

Why is reading so important?

The brain requires exercise to keep it strong and healthy.
The same way our bodies need exercise and healthy eating to function well.
Reading a book is excellent exercise for the brain.
Remember....... if you don´t use it, you lose it.

Everything you read fills your head with new information and new fresh ideas and you never know when this information and ideas might come in handy.

The more knowledge you have, the better off you will be to tackle life´s challenges and obstacles.

A new idea can also be life changing. It can be the beginning of a new business, new friendships or new adventures.

Reading will also improve your memory, your focus and your concentration.

You can lose your family, friends, money, your house or your job.......but

Knowledge can never be taken away from you.

                                        Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Want A Better Life? Raise Your Standards

                                                  "If you want to change your life
                                                  you have to raise your standards."
                                                             - Tony Robbins

If we don´t feel good about ourselves, then we don´t feel like we can get much or deserve much in life.

What is going on in your life right now is a reflection of your standards.

So how do we change our lives?

We change our lives by raising our standards.

The standards that we set for ourselves and the standards we set for how other people will treat us.

Learn to create a better path for yourself, by raising your standards.

Never settle for something far less than you deserve..

Demand more of yourself.

Stop tolerating certain things.

If you want a better  life.....Raise You Standards.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, November 14, 2016

How To Become A Problem Solver

              "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."
                                                              - Albert Einstein

Are you having problems in your life right now?

Are you experiencing some big difficulties or maybe even a setback?

Are you constantly thinking about these problems and analyzing them in your head over and over again?

Of course most of us are dealing with problems and obstacles in our lives.
Who doesn´t!!!
But the important thing is to figure out how to solve these problems as quickly as possible without wasting all of our mental energy and before we get completely stuck in the problem

Never wish that life was easier and without problems and obstacles.
Wish that you better at dealing and solving theses situations in your life.
Learning and growing is part of life.
When you solve a problem you grow. You become bigger than the problem.
In order to live we must constantly grow
Growth and progress will make us feel happy and fulfilled.

Here a re a few tips on how to become a problem solver!

- Describe the problem.
  Get clarity on what is going on. Clarity is power.

- Write things down.
   In your head you will continue to go around in circles.

- What are you willing to do to make a change?
   Even if you don´t like the action that you must take.
   Are you willing to do as much as possible to solve this problem?

Because we don´t want to do something or maybe it will make us feel uncomfortable doing it, we won´t do what is necessary to make it happen for us.

- What are you no longer willing to do?

Maybe you are tired of feeling defeated and tired of complaining. How about stating to yourself, that you are no longer willing to live in fear and stress every day.
Maybe you are not willing to put yourself last anymore and you will make yourself your own first priority.

- Ask better and more powerful questions?

1. What is actually great about this problem?

2. What can I learn from this problem or this setback?

3. What is not perfect yet?

4. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?

5. What am I willing not to do to make it the way I want it?

6. How can I enjoy the process?

The minute you go from problem to question you will find the solution.
Answers will come from new questions because it will change your state.
When you are in a lousy state - most of the time you will ask lousy questions.

To be able to ask there questions you must put yourself in a better state.
Learn to shift your focus on solutions instead of being stuck in the problem.

Whatever you focus on  - you will feel in your body.

Come up with as many answers or solutions as you can.

Write your answers down.

There are no problems - there are just questions.

                                            Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Friday, November 11, 2016

How Are You Doing On Your Dream?

                                      "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
                                                  Live the life you have imagined."
                                                          - Henry David Thoreau

How are you doing on your dream?

Are you taking action on your dream...... on a daily base?

Are you creating a sense of urgency or are you waiting and maybe even settling where you are currently?

I know it is difficult sometimes to find time, energy and motivation to continue on your path toward your dream.
It is easy to allow all the distractions around us to pull us down and also away from what we really, really want to accomplish in our life.

If you stay on your current path.......will it happen for you?
Will you be able to accomplish your dream?

If you are allowing your dream to slowly fade or to be put on is time to create an urgency........Start doing things TODAY!

Get back on your path right away.

Take Action!

One emotion that you will never want is Regret.

                                         Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Start One Thing Today

                                                       "Do one thing today
                                            to make you feel proud of yourself."

Today ....Start doing all the things that will make you feel better.

It could be things like.....
exercising , a healthier diet, reading more books or saving more money.

How about cleaning up some decisions, getting a few things done.

Maybe getting things started and organized.

Develop yourself.

Make a positive move in the right direction.

Develop a plan for your life.

Create a few daily disciplines.

Take Action.

Be thankful.

                                         Karin Glannstam- Personal Success Coach

Monday, November 7, 2016

Everything Starts With Thought

                                             "It is the mark of an educated mind
                               to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
                                                                  - Aristotle

                           "A lot of pain that we are dealing with is really only thoughts."

Everything starts with thought.
Be aware and careful of what you think about all day.

Stand guard at the door of your mind.
Be selective of what you will allow to enter into your mind.

You decide what goes into your mind.
Don´t just let anyone dump their stuff on you........
Because you are the one that has to live with the results.

Be selective who you spend time with.
What you read and what you watch.

Just because someone tells you something, or you read something....... doesn´t mean that it´s true.
Make up your own mind.
Decide what is true for you.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Friday, November 4, 2016

The Willingness To Start Over Again

                                                 "Starting all over again is not bad....
                                                      because when you restart,
                                      you get another chance to make things right."
                                                                - Unknown

                                                   "No matter how hard the past,
                                                    you can always begin again."
                                                                   - Buddha

Difficult times happens to everyone. It doesn´t matter if you are rich or poor, young or old, man or woman......... Things do happen in our lives.
Things you didn´t expect to happen.

We can not avoid or control these storms or setbacks in our lives.
But what we can control is how we respond to them.

Are you going to allow yourself to stay in bed for several months after a setback?
Are you going to blame someone else for your situation?
Are going to continue to focus on what used to be?

Or are you going to pull yourself together and start again?
One small action at a time?

One great key to quickly recover from a setback is to have something to go for right a way.
Don´t let if affect you for a year or longer. Put something together right away. It might not be the total answer, but you must start walking.
Life doesn´t give us what we need, it gives us what we deserve.

Have something new to focus on.
You can continue to focus on what isn´t working and what you have lost.
If you continue to do this you will eventually feel stuck in a negative pattern.

Or you can shift your focus onto what is possible for you.

Start by asking a few empowering questions.

What do I need to learn from this setback?
What is it here to tell me?
How can I avoid this in the future?
What small action step can I take...starting today that will change my situation?

Learn from the lesson but make sure that you start taking some steps forward as quickly as possible.

Start walking from your desperate situation into a more empowering mode.
Start changing your philosophy and start to focus on what else you can do to make the situation change.

Start where you are.
Learn as you go.
Continue to take action.

This is how my own life coaching business got started.
I suffered a huge setbacks in 2012.
Within 3 months my mother passed away. I walked away from a toxic and abusive relationship and I also move to another country.
It would have been easy for me to continue to focus on my losses.
Honestly I did for a few months but then I started to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life.......... and that is how my coaching business was born.

Was it easy...of course not.
I kept on thinking about all I had lost, but after a couple of months I decided to shift my focus onto what was possible for me.
Now it required a lot of discipline. It required me to change my old ways of thinking and doing things.
I didn´t have a lot of information on how to do it.....but the important thing was that I took action and I started.
I was willing to start where I was. I didn´t know exactly how I was going to do it, but I took small action steps almost every day.
And as I did I got stronger, wiser and better.
I got the answers as I was continuing on my path.

Unfortunately a lot of people won´t start something because they don´t know how it is going to work out. They don´t have all the answers.
Of course you won´t have all the answers right away. You can learn as you go.
Just make sure that you start.


Be willing to learn new strategies.
Be willing to make a new start.
Be willing to go again.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Great Book - In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate, MD

                                           "Rock bottom became the solid foundation
                                                      on which I rebuilt my life."
                                                           - J. K. Rowling

           "I used to think a drug addict was someone who lived on the far edges of ´society.
                              Wild-eyed, shaven-headed and living in a filthy squat.
                                                   That was until I became one."
                                                           - Cathryn Kemp

We get addicted to something that takes away the pain.

Addiction is a persons way of trying to solve a problem.

They try to solve a problem with addiction.
Addiction is a distraction. A distraction from not wanting to be yourself for a while.

Addiction is a disconnection disorder.
First you disconnect from yourself and then disconnect from others.

It is an discomfort with ourselves. We try to escape our reality with some form of addiction, or addictive behavior.

If you are interested and want to learn more about addiction I have a great book that I want to recommend.

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate, MD

This book explores scientific and psychological causes of addiction, as well as the impact on addicts treated at the Downtown Eastside Vancouver Clinic where Mate is a physician.

In this book, Gabor Mate locates the source of addiction in the trauma of an emotionally empty childhood, making it a relational rather than a medical problem.

This is a great book for anyone struggling with addiction personally or professionally.

Addicts are locked into addiction not only by their painful past and distressing present but equally by their bleak view of the future as well.
They cannot envision the real possibility of sobriety, of a life governed by values rather than by immediate survival need and by desperation to escape physical and mental suffering.
They are unable to develop compassion toward themselves and their bodies while they are regarded as outcasts, hunted as enemies, and treated like human refuse.
As we have seen, a major factor in addiction that medical and social policies must take into account is stress.
If we want to support people´s potential for healthy transformation, we must cease to impose debilitating stress on their already-burdened existence. Recall that uncertainty isolation, loss of control, and conflict are the major triggers for stress and that stress is the most predictable factor in maintaining addiction and triggering relapse.

From In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate

Great Book....I recommend reading it!

                                           Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, October 31, 2016

Have You Outgrown Your Old Life?

A common problem that happens to a lot of people when they change, grow, become more empowered and successful....a lot of people around them won´t like it.
They want you to remain the same. Be just like the them.
When you become successful at something, unfortunately a lot of your old friend will become envious.
Maybe you remind them of something that they should do for themselves. Maybe they have tried to do what you now are doing, without success and they can´t accept that you were able to do it.
That you were able to succeed.

A few months a go I was talking to a client of mine.
We were having a conversation over the phone and she was bringing up a great subject that I want to talk about today.

This particular client has been going through a lot of personal development  and growth in the last couple of years. She has learned a lot and raised her conscious level tremendously.
She has now come to the point that she feels bored and angry with  most of her old friends, because they continue to live small lives. They haven´t grown and developed themselves.
They are still stuck in the daily grind or the status quo, and they refuse to change.

She told me ....."we don´t have anything to talk about any longer" or "they never learn or do anything new...they just settle for the old ways of living. And every time we get together they are always complaining, but at the same time they don´t want to do anything about it. I am just so tired of hearing it over and over again and I want them to change. I want them to grow and do some new things."

She also explained that she is longing to have some soulful conversations with a particular friend of hers. A friend that she has known for over 40 years.
She said " I am just so frustrated with her and our conversation are very boring. I want her to change, to grow. Do something. If she did she would have a better life."

What my friend is going through is a very typical scenario when we are embarking on a journey of growth and personal development. When we are starting to become successful, when we are starting to feel so good in the process...... we want the whole world to follow.
At least we want our old friends to be as excited as we are, and try this new way of living.

Well guess what....they are not interested in changing.
And frankly they have no intention of wanting to do anything different with their lives.
At least not right now.

If we want people around us to change and only then will we feel better and happier.......
we are setting ourselves up for a life of suffering and misery.

When we change and grow as individuals ..... a few things in our lives will happen.

1. Either people and friends around us will find it interesting, but they don´t want to change.
But it is OK that we have changed.
2. They don´t like our change and they don´t want to be around as any more.
So they leave. At least for right now.
3. They like what they see in us...and they also want to learn, grow and change.

Now what each individual is willing to do is up to them.
We can not tell them what to do.

All we can do is to continue on our own path and hope some of our friends will follow.
But if they don´t we must´t be afraid to let go of a few friends .
There will be more along the way that might be a better match for us and where we are in life.
And hopefully after a while the old friend(s) will come along.

But if they don´t we must keep on going.
Don´t fall back into the old way again........because it will never work for you.
Once you have grown and gotten bigger you will not be willing to go back to living the small life again. You simply won´t fit in it.
It´s like wearing clothes that you outgrew several years ago. They won´t fit you anymore.

In the case of my friend..... she was mostly upset about her long time friend of over 40 years. She didn´t want to lose her but at the same time she didn´t feel like they had much in common any longer.
She told me she was angry with her friend, but deep down inside she was afraid and sad.
She was afraid to lose the friendship of more than 40 years. But the also knew that she couldn't continue to have meaningless interactions filled with complaining, gossiping and resentment either.

The truth is that as we would love for our friends to follow........But they seldom do.
They remain stuck. And until they are willing to change and grow there is nothing that we can do.
The faster we recognize this the happier we will be.

We just have to lead by example. Continue on our new path.
New exciting friend will eventually appear.
Any maybe some of your old friends will eventually follow.
But never under any circumstances should you go back to living the small and dis-empowering life again.

Keep on walking your new path.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Friday, October 28, 2016

Why Being Curious Is A Great Thing

                                                "I am neither clever nor especially gifted.
                                                        I am only very, very curious.
                                                                   - Albert Einstein

I am by nature a very curious person. And as long as I can remember I have always been curious.
When I was younger I was very intrigued with other countries and people from other parts of the world.
What they did, what they ate, what language they spoke and how they lived their lives. (I still am )

One of the reasons that I left Sweden when I was 25 years of age, was that I found it to be..... way to small for me. I wanted to grow, learn and experience the world.
Besides....I always found the weather to be quite dark and gloomy in Sweden.
Anyway in 1987 I left Sweden for The US and I don´t regret leaving because I have learned so much by living half of my life in The US.

I always asked a lot of questions. Questions about anything and everything.
I always wanted to know and to learn new things. I wanted to grow as a person.

And I still do. I always make sure that I learn something new almost every day.
Due to my life coaching business I am on the constant hunt for new things.
New ideas on how to do things better and faster. How to live a better, healthier and happier life.
Learning and growing every day.
It is very exciting.

One things that I have noticed  with people .......most of them don´t ask questions.
In conversations they usually don´t ask the other people questions.
A lot of people only want to talk about themselves.

How would you ever find out or learn anything new....if you didn´t ask questions?

The definition of curiosity
A strong desire to know and learn something.

                                   "Curiosity is the compass that leads us to our passions.
                                            Follow it and you won´t be disappointed.
                                              The future belongs to The Curious."

Remember when you were a child.....Did you ask any questions?
You asked questions all the time.
You were very curious and you wanted to know and to learn new things.
What happened?
Why don´t you continue to ask questions as an adult?
Do you know everything?
Or maybe you feel like you don´t need to learn anything new?

Curiosity is the foundation of life-long growth.
If we remain curious, we will remain teachable and our minds and our heard will grow and expand on a daily base.

Either you grow or you die.

We can retain our beginners mind by always looking forward and discovering new experiences and new information.

This way you will allow your mind to stay active and you will be more observant of new ideas.
And a lot of time all we need is a new idea to make things happen in our lives.

If you allow your mind to stay active it will open up a whole new world of possibilities.
It will create adventures that can lead you in a new exciting direction.

Today....start asking some new questions.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Learn To Love Yourself First

                  "We need to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections.
             If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others."
                                                             - John Lennon

If you want to attract something into your life you must first become it.

What do I mean by that?.......let me explain.

If you want to attract more love into your life, you have to become more loving towards yourself. You have to learn to love and value yourself.
Then when you start to radiate will then be able to attract it into your life.
In other words you have to become love, give love in order to receive love.

You can´t give away what you don´t have yourself.
If you don´t have love for yourself.....then how can you give it to someone else?

If you are empty...... you are probably entering relationships to get love and not to share love.
All that will do is to make the other people feel very uncomfortable and they will feel a pull from you.

You cannot have what you are not willing to become. And if you get it...... you will eventually lose it.

A great example of this is lottery winners.
All of a sudden you are a millionaire. But if you don´t become a millionaire vibrationally will not be able to keep the money.
So you must learn how to become a millionaire quickly or you will lose the money.

You have to become it, radiate it before you can attract it into your life.

Personal Development.
It starts with you. First you have to go to work on yourself.

                                            "Learn to  love yourself first,
                           instead of loving the idea of other people loving you."

You have to like yourself....... when you are by yourself.

If you don´t like yourself can you expect anyone else to like you?

And when you are not liking yourself you are pulling on others to make you happy.

                                       Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Sunday, October 23, 2016

What is "The Dark Night of The Soul"?

                                   You don´t go through a deep personal transformation
                                            without some kind of dark night of the soul."
                                                                  - Sam Keen


Have you ever heard the expression "The dark night of the soul"?

What is it?

It is a term that goes back a long time.
The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die.
Often it is an awakening process. The death of the old self and the birth of the true self.

It can be triggered by an external event such as a disaster, the death of someone close to you or a life that you have planned that suddenly collapses.
Some kind of disaster which seem to invalidate the meaning that your life had before.
Nothing makes sense anymore and there´s no purpose to anything.

The dark night of the soul is a kind of re-birth.
You are losing your old identification. Your previous identity is lost and you don´t yet have an identification of what is new and what is emerging.

You are in the dark. You don´t know where you are and where you are going.
Like feeling lost in the darkness of a forest. You can´t go back and you don´t know which path to follow. Or maybe there isn´t even a path. You have to make your own.

You remember who you used to be, but you know that you are not that person anymore.
Who are you becoming? You don´t know that either, at this point.

It is dark and it is painful. Very painful.
The dark night is filled with fear and disconnect.

Why is it so painful?
Because you are getting rid of the old. (Like a snake shedding its skin).
The Universe is pushing you. Giving you pain until you can articulate a new vision and purpose for your life.

                                                "Soul work is not a high road.
                                        It is a deep fall into an unforgiving darkness
                       that won´t let you go until you find the song that sings you home."

The old life is no longer who you are. Your new vision for your life is what you are becoming.
The pain will keep on pushing you until you will get pulled by a bigger vision for your life.

You were actually on the wrong path in your old life and that is why it was giving you so much pain.
(When your life path is starting to hurt you, you are on the wrong path.)
And it got worse and worse until you could not take it anymore and you had to enter the dark night of the soul.

The pain is forcing you into having a vision.
A vision that is bigger than the pain.

When you are beginning to have a vision of what is possible for your life you will start to get pulled by it.

When you can describe and embrace your vision you can start to walk in that direction.
You can start to align yourself with what is possible for your life instead of remaining on a path that was never meant for you in the first place.

Instead of being stuck you can now walk in the direction of your potential and your possibilities.

When you start walking the path of your true purpose, The Universe doesn´t need to hit you with pain as much.

Yes...I have experienced this.
In 2012 I went through the dark night of the soul. It started with my mother´s death in late December of 2011 and then the collapse of a 8-year relationship with a narcissist in March of 2012. And to top it of I had to return to Sweden April 2012, after living 25 years in The US. I had built up a life, a lot of plans, activities and dreams and it all collapsed.

For me.... the dark night of the soul was filled with tremendous pain. I felt like I had gotten side swiped by a freight train and left bleeding on the side of the track. The pain was excruciating and no one could help me.
You feel like you would do anything to get out of this state, but it will take the time it will take.
You feel totally alone. You have friends but most of them are not capable of feeling what you are feeling or knowing what you are going through..

What helped me to get through the dark night of the soul was that I had learned about it before it happened. So when It did happen I was a little more prepared.
But what I wasn´t prepared for was how painful it actually was and how disconnected I felt.

But what happened after spending a couple of months in Sweden I came up with a new meaning and vision for my life. I was going to become a life coach.
I had always loved psychology but I never pursued that  particular path when I was younger. But now I had a second shot at it, by becoming a life coach.
I started my own on-line coaching business over 3 years ago. I turned my "Wounds into Wisdom" my breakdown (dark night of the soul) lead to my breakthrough.
I would never have been able to learn and grow this much if I would have remained where I was in 2012.

Challenges will activate the potential in you.
The dark night of the soul is a very difficult time but it is a time for marvelous growth.
You hang on and you persist through the dark night of the soul because you can´t conceive going back to your old ways of life. That would be like going back to prison.

The dark night of the soul is about transformation.
Leaving the old and entering a higher consciousness and your true nature.

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach