Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Can You Go 7 Days Without Complaining?

                                      "If you have the time to whine and complain
                                         about something then you have the time to
                                                      do something about it."
                                                    -  Anthony J. D'Angelo

Do you know of someone who complains a lot?

Maybe it's YOU?

Are you a complainer?

It's easy to find something to complain about. I am guilty of it too.

We can either chooses to focus on what is working in our lives and what we appreciate or we can focus on that the world is going crazy and complain about it. Same amount of energy.

The difference is the way we feel in our bodies. Complaining will automatically lower our own energetic vibration.

Like attracts like. If you are a complainer you will likely attract other complainer and you will form a group and complain together.

Seldom will you find happy and content people hanging out with complainers and gossipers. They are too busy making things happens in their own life.

I complain too, but I am really trying to break this habit. I try to pay more attention to what comes out of my mouth on a daily base. But it's so easy to fall into the same pattern of complaining and the first key to changing it is to become aware of that you are doing it.

Also when you are around people who are complaining it's easy to fall into the habit of complaining together with them. The key is to either stay quiet and don't lean into the conversation or simply walk away.

Todays Challenge

Decide to not complain for 7 days straight.

No complaining verbally
No complaining in writing.....like on social media.
No complaining in your thoughts

Do this for one week and you will be amazed how much better you will feel after a complain free 7 days.

Are you ready for this challenge?
Let me know how it goes.


Monday, November 13, 2017

Disciplining Your Disappointments

                                            "Adversity is a good test of our resilience,
                                                 our ability to cope, to stand back up,
                                                      to recover from misfortune.
                                                Adversity is a painful pedagogue."
                                                      - Charles R. Swindoll

It happened to me again last week. I fell into the ditch for a while.
I didn't stay there very long before I climbed out of there....but I fell.

When you are building new habits patters of thought and action, it doesn't matter if it's in business, health, sports or life, there will be times when you will end up off course or off track.
You will encounter adversity, setbacks and disappointments on the path to success.
They key it not to avoid adversity, but to learn how to re-direct your efforts, re-establish your successful habits and get walking again.

You don't want to end up in the ditch. But if you do you must crawl out of there as quickly as possible and continue on your path.

Some people will be so discouraged by adversity or a setback that they will quit doing what they were doing before it happen.

But you can start again.
It all comes down to your mindset, attitude and you willingness to go again.
You can decide to be discouraged by what happed or you can be inspired and learn from it.
Same incident but two different attitudes about what happened.

The magic is...... that you can turn it around..... but the mystery is.... that not everyone will.
Some people will use adversity or a setback as a reason to success and others will use it as a reason to give up.
Same circumstance.

What separates an amateur from a pro in business or in life is not that the pro is avoiding adversity..... but the pro quickly recovers from it.

The amateur loses a big game, business deal....it affects them for a long time. Sometimes a year or longer.
But a pro will shake it off, learn from it and then quickly recover and get back on track.
They might be angry and upset, but it doesn't last long. Tomorrow they will go again.
They won't allow it to affect them for a year or a lifetime.
An amateur and a pro are both affected the same way but the response is different.

The key to quickly recover is to have something to go for right away.
Try putting something together quickly. It might not be the total answer, but it's the answer for now and it will get you start walking again.

As for myself, I didn't allow the adversity to affect me too long. But it did affect me and I ended up in the ditch.
Next time I hope that I can prevent myself from falling into the ditch because it takes quite a bit of mental energy to crawl out of there and to get back on track.
Mental energy that I could have used for something better.

The key is to not fall in the ditch in the first place but sometimes it happens no matter how good you are. I guess I need to practice and learn a few more skills before I will be able to just walk on by and not fall into the ditch when I encounter this kind of adversity.

What helped me to recover quickly from the incident last week was that I shared what had happened with a trusted friend. She was willing to listen and also gave me some important feedback and valuable insight.

Yes....unfortunately I ended up in the ditch but the good things is that I was there less than 24 hours. More like 12 hours.
I have learned from what happen and hopefully I will be able to stay out of the ditch in the future.


Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Four Important Questions To Ask Yourself

                                                 "Resolve to be a master of change,
                                                    rather than a victim of change."
                                                                  -Brian Tracy

Resolve - Promising yourself that you will never give up.

What is your dream?

What are you trying to accomplish with your life?

If you are not sure or maybe you haven't yet decided to go for it, here are a few questions that might help you decide and then take action.

Why should I try?
Why should I work so hard trying to better myself and my life?
Why do I want to create a better future for myself and for others?

What else am I going to do with my time and my life?

Some people have done the most incredible things with a limited start.
Why not YOU?
You can do incredible things because you are an incredible person.

Why wait?
Why postpone your great future any longer?
Get going today.
Decide and take action.

Embark on a journey to improve your life and the life of others.
Enjoy your life as you seek to improve it.
Seek knowledge, so that your value to yourself and others will increase.
Be a doer, not just a listener.


Monday, November 6, 2017

You Can't Pull Yourself Up By Tearing Down Others.

                                                        "You never look good,
                                          trying to make someone else look bad."
                                                              - Unknown

What Would You Do?

If you had the tallest building in New York City for a while..... but after you built your building several other builders built taller buildings than yours....... what would you do to yet again have the tallest building?

A. You start tearing down all the buildings that are taller than yours.
You might get away with tearing down the first one but sooner or later someone will discover what you are up to and they will start guarding their buildings and telling you to not come around their building. They know what you are up to.

B. You could add more stories to your building or build a brand new one.
You focus on what you can do to create what you want instead of tearing down what other people have build or accomplished.

I know I would go for B.
It would involve more work on my part but in the end I would be proud of what I created myself and I know that I didn't create it by pushing or pulling someone else down.

The above example might not be such a great one..... but what I am trying to get to is that in life often people will rather tear down someone else or something that someone else has created instead of focus on what they themselves are capable of creating for themselves, in their own life.
It seems like it is easier to pull someone down than it is to pull yourself up.

Some people will become jealous or envious if someone else have what they themselves want.
Since someone else has what they want .....then there won't be enough for them. They will never be able to have it. This is a lack-mentality. Since you have it....they must take it from you instead of creating it for themselves.

There is plenty for all..... if you are willing to work for it.....you can have it too.
This is a abundant-mentality.

Sometimes people try to expose what is wrong with you, because the can't handle what is right with you.

Maybe someone has a lot of energy, they are happy and they live a healthy lifestyle. Automatically some people will get jealous of that and they will try to do things or talk bad about this person because they themselves lack energy, health and happiness in their own life. They have in other words chosen example A.
They tear into someone else, trying to bring them down to their own level. Or they try to take away what this person has so they can have it themselves.

Instead they can choose B. A much smarter approach. They can ask the person that is healthy, happy and energetic how they are able to create this in their life. Realizing that they can also create this in their own life. But of course that will require some changes in their own life and some work on their part.

If there is someone that you admire with someone or maybe they created something that you would like to have.....find out how they did it.
Ask them how they created the life and the habits that you want and then you model them and you can live like this person.

It doesn't matter if it has to do with money, wealth, a great career, great relationships, happiness, health & vitality or a lot of energy. If you got it.....some people want it and sometimes they will try to take it from you or they will try to tear you down to get to what they want. And if they can't have it, they don't want you to have it either.

Don't use that approach. Instead ask or find out how this person created great wealth in their life, or how they have such a happy marriage, how they have such a high energy level, how they were able to create a business career or how they can remain so peaceful and calm no matter what is going on in the world.

Just remember that you can never pull yourself up by tearing down others.
If you want to pull yourself up....you have to do the work yourself.


Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Embrace Your Personal Power

                                                        You have personal power
                                                          that creates your world.
                                                                   OWN IT!

The source of personal power starts with YOU.

When you are in better shape physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually you are more capable of negotiating more effectively. You make better decisions. Your creativity flows. You are a better manager when it comes to people around you. Your relationships improve.

Changing yourself is the first step in changing your career, your relationships - both at work and your intimate relationships.
It starts with YOU.

Taking action is a way of building more personal power in your life.
Any muscle that you don't exercise on a daily base will eventually get weaker. Same thing with taking action.....it is also a muscle. Have you used it lately?
The way to build a muscle is to start small and then build.

Today I have a very simple exercise that you can do to immediately increase the quality of your life.  You will feel good and your self-esteem will soar..... because you actually followed through.

Right now think of two actions that you have been putting off for a while.
Two things that you should do. Two things you need to do but you are constantly putting them off.

Maybe it's making a phone call or two
Starting a blog
Quit smoking or drinking
Saying NO
Re-connect with a friend or family-member
Losing weight
Limit certain foods in your diet
Asking for a raise
Change job
Saving money

Pick two actions that would immediately change the quality of your life.

What are those two action?
Decide and commit to follow through. This is it!!!

There is tremendous power in making a decision and then immediately follow through on your decision.

You can start with something small - then build.

- Write down the two decisions that you made.
- Take action on them immediately - RIGHT NOW!

Don't put it off another minute. Do whatever it takes. There is power in momentum. Don't wait or delay.

Decision - Commitment to follow through - This will create PERSONAL POWER.

Go For It!!!

                                              Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, October 30, 2017

Knowing Is Not Enough - We Must Apply

                                                       Wisdom is knowledge,
                                                             rightly applied

We all have heard that knowledge is power.

What you know can drastically improve your life.
It can help you create changes, give you more insight and understanding. Ignorance is not bliss.

But is it true that knowledge is power? Not really.
Knowledge is not power.....it's potential power.

Knowledge is only power if you apply what you are learning.
You can study and learn all day long...day in and day out, but if you never apply what you are leaning then it's just a lot of learning.

Most of us know what we should do with our lives, how to change, how to make our lives better,
but we still don't do it.

Do you know someone like that? Maybe it's YOU???

Having the knowledge is not enough, we have to get ourselves to follow through with what we are learning. We have to follow through with the new ideas, the new strategies and the new knowledge that we have come across.

Have you ever read a book that was filled with great ideas on how to make improvements in your life if you just followed a few simple rules and then applied them in your own life?

Most people have.

First we get excited about the new information as we read it and then we tell ourselves that this time we are going to implement these simple strategies in our own life.
We might even get so excited that we put the ideas on a piece of paper and tell ourselves that "I will start on Monday."
Then Monday turns into next Monday. That Monday turns into next month and then we find ourselves saying "someday I will."

Someday I will get my health-plan going.
Someday I will start saving money.
Someday I will change my job.
Someday I will change my attitude.
Someday I will lose weight.
Someday I will quit smoking.
Someday I will_________________ Finish the sentence.

Someday is not a day of the week.
Someday will probably not happen. It's the road to nowhere.

Did this happen because you didn't have the knowledge to do something or make a change in your life?
No it didn't.
You had the knowledge but you didn't apply what you knew.

So you see.....knowledge isn't enough and it has little power until you apply it in your own life.


Wednesday, October 25, 2017

There's A Rainbow After Every Storm

                                                               "After rain
                                                          there's a rainbow
                                                            After a storm
                                                             there's calm
                                                            after the night
                                                           there's morning
                                                        and after an ending
                                                     there's a new beginning."
                                                              - Unknown

A couple of weeks ago I was working in another city during the day and I had to take the commuter train in the morning to work and back home in the afternoon.

It had rained and been cloudy almost all day but just about an hour before I was going back home the sun came out. It was great feeling because the sun had been absent for many days.

As I got on the train and sat down I happen to glance out of the window and I saw the most beautiful rainbow appearing. I was thrilled because I hadn't seen a rainbow in a very long time.

It was huge, colorful and it stretched all across the sky.

As the train got started I kept on watching the rainbow. I could see it almost all the way back to where I was getting off the train. It was absolutely gorgeous and I felt so happy watching it.

The rainbow got me thinking about storms.
There have been a lot of natural storms lately all over the world.

But we also have storms in our own lives.
Setbacks, crisis, problems and obstacles are always part of our journey.
It isn't sunny all the time.

But isn't it true though.....that after every storm there will be a rainbow?

No matter of what is going on right now......it will eventually go away and a rainbow will appear.

This too shall pass.

I think it's comforting to know that even if I am going through a crisis or having a huge problem right now.....it won't last forever. It will eventually change.

Good or bad....things will always change. It always does.

So if you are going through a difficult time in your life right now......
remember that there will eventually be a beautiful rainbow appearing.

                                             Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

Monday, October 23, 2017

Are You Feeling SAD This Time Of The Year?

                                             "They say that a few minutes each day
                                                            of petting your dog,
                                                 can raise your serotonin levels."
                                                            - Neil S. Plakcy

Are you feeling a little sad this time of the year?

I am definitely feeling a lack of energy and some sadness at this time of the year.
It is getting darker, the days are getting shorter and there is less sunshine during the day.

Right now as I am spending time in Sweden, I am really being affected by the weather and the lack of sunlight and daylight. Most days are very gloomy over here and they are also rapidly getting shorter and shorter.

Today I am going to talk about SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder.
SAD is a form of depression that is triggered by changing seasons.

Sunlight and darkness trigger the release of hormones in our brain.
Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brains release of the hormone serotonin.
Serotonin is affecting our mood, our energy level, memory, focus, mental sharpness and the way we look at life.

Without enough sunlight exposure a person's serotonin levels can dip low and that is associated with the risk of SAD.
Both SAD and the winter blues is related to the lack of sunlight.

Serotonin is helping us to regulate our moods and when the level goes down we are at risk for depression.

Women produce serotonin only half as fast at men do and that can explain why more women then men get depressed.

Sunlight has been proven to boost positive moods and diminish tiredness. Getting minimal periods of sunlight can negatively impact our mood.

There is no wonder that I prefer the sunny and warm weather in Texas to what we have going on right now here in Sweden.
Not only does it affect my mood but I feel like I can sleep all the time.
The reason for that is that the hormone melatonin (the "sleepy" hormone) increases with decreased light and that explains why we get a tired feeling as early as four in the afternoon when it begins to get dark outside.

Anything that is affecting our mood will also affect our behavior.
On rainy days people are less satisfied with their lives.
I know when the sun is shining I feel like I have less problems and it is easier to deal with anything compared to a rainy day when just going for a walk with the dogs can sometimes feel like a uphill battle.

Another thing that can deplete our serotonin levels is prolonged stress. Stress will wear us out!
Stay away from stressful situations as much as possible.

Here are a few TIPS to boost serotonin!

Get enough light
Spend time outdoors. Make sure that you go outside for at least 30 minutes per day.

Eat healthy fats
Omega-3 fatty acids. Salmon, fish oils, nuts and flaxseed oil.

Exercise regularly
A great way to boost serotonin levels can be as simple as a daily 30-60 minute walk.

Dark chocolate
This is my favorite tip!!!!!

Interact with others
Make sure that these people have a positive outlook on life

Reduce stress
Try meditation, yoga and deep breathing exercises and spending more time relaxing.

Happy memories
Like pictures in a photo album might give you a serotonin boost.

Hang out with your pets


Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Putting The Pieces Back Together

                                         "When the storm rips you to pieces,
                           you get to decide how to put yourself back together."
                                                      - Bryant McGill

This past Monday I was writing about storms that are happening in our lives.
No one can avoid storms. If you live long enough you will have to deal with crisis, setbacks, problems and obstacles. They are also part of this journey that we call life.

If you missed Monday's blog here it is.............The Perfect Storm

I don't know what is going on in your life right now.
Maybe you have just come through a crisis or storm and you are on your way to recuperate.
Maybe you are in the middle of a storm and your can't seem to find your way out of it at this moment. Or maybe you are about to enter a crisis right now.
If you haven't dealt with any crisis in your life yet......don't worry......they will show up.
No one can escape.

The important thing isn't trying to avoid the storm. Instead we must learn how to dance in the rain. We must learn better tools and strategies for dealing with crisis when they occur.

I wrote the book Bounce Don't Break - how to successfully get back on track..... last year and it was published in late Dec of 2016.

In the book I share about how my own life totally collapsed in 2012. It actually started in 2010 but it took 2 years before it totally fell into a thousand pieces.

During a presentation I did a little over a week ago I shared some tools with the audience. And today I will share some of these tools with you.

These are the tools that I used myself when I had to rebuild my life back in 2012.

Ask for help
You can't do it alone. You need someone to talk to. I know it is hard to ask for help. You feel weak if you ask for help. But you are not. Quite the opposite. You are actually strong when you ask for help.
If I had not asked for help I would not have found out from my therapist that the man I was in a relationship with and had been for 5 years was a narcissist. Life changing information and it explained a lot. It also helped me with my decision to later walk away from this relationship.
Ask for help from a therapist, doctor, coach, mentor or trusted friend or family-member.
Don't suffer in silence.

You must grieve what you have lost. It might be a loved one that died. Maybe you lost a job or a business went under. You lost your money or your house and all your belongings. Maybe you had to flee from a country in war and now you are living in a brand new place. You lost you health and now you are dealing with a serious illness. A lot of times we have to grieve the life that we had planned.
Back in 2010 I had so many wonderful plans for my future and none of them happened. Of course I was devastated and I had to grieve. I had to go through the process and the process takes time. How long you grieve is different for everyone. Only you can decide how long it will take.
Just remember that grieving is necessary to be able to move on with our lives.

Take Care Of Your Health
This is a tough one because carrots and broccoli are never as soothing as a  piece of chocolate or a glass of wine.
But your body is trying to heal and it needs healthy fuel to be able to get going again after the injury.
It's important that we pay attention to what we eat and drink.
I love sugar. Sugar is my best friend. Sugar is there when I am sad, happy, lonely, worried, angry, frustrated or disappointed. Sugar can keep me company on a lonely Friday evening as well as it can give me some quick energy when I need it. Both a pick-me-upper and a calm-me-downer. Sugar is always there for me. But unfortunately sugar won't solve anything and a lot of time it is just a temporary escape so it's better to not be trapped by it's promises and sweet taste.
Make sure you get moving. Go outside and get some fresh air. Walk in nature. Also make sure that you get good sleep. Around 7-8 hours is great. Not too much and not too little.
Fuel you body with good stuff. It's part of the healing process.

Create A Vision For Your Life
A new vision for your life will work as a magnet. It will eventually pull you through almost anything that is going on in your life.
Back in 2012 I decided that I was going to become a life coach and start my own coaching business. That was my magnet. Instead of focusing on all that I had lost I started to focus on how to rebuild my future. It was an awesome force and it helped my through the grieving process and also the daily stress of my life totally collapsing.
Create something with a purpose. Something new to focus on.

Let Go Of The Past
You can't drive a car by looking in the review mirror. If you do.....you will eventually crash. Same thing in life. You can't continue to live in the past and expect a new future. Learn form the past. Treat it as a school but don't live there. Start looking at what is possible for you right now and also what is possible for you in the future.
Create a belief that the life in front of you is going to be better that what you just left behind.

Celebrate Yourself And Your Progress
Every step forward that you take, must be celebrated. It doesn't matter how tiny it is....you must celebrate. In the beginning it will feel like one step forward, and then two back. This will go on for a while. A lot of times it feels like there is no progress. But as long as you keep on trying and keep on working..... you are making progress.
Little achievements are just as important as big ones.

Today I am grateful for what happened back in 2012. I was on the wrong path and I had lost the connection to myself. I needed to find myself again.
The crisis stopped me from continuing on the wrong path.
Be grateful for what you already have. Be grateful for family and friends. Be grateful for your body
Be grateful for your wounds. They have hopefully taught you a lot. Be grateful for the person you are today and what you have gone through. Be grateful for your bright future.
You are alive today.....you made it.....that is something to celebrate and to be grateful for.

Thank You..... Nikki and Lady!


Monday, October 16, 2017

The Perfect Storm

                                          "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
                                                It's about learning to dance in the rain.
                                                             - Vivian Green

There have been a lot of storms in the world lately.
Hurricanes, wildfires and earthquakes just to name a few.
These are all natural storms or disasters.

But there are also other kinds of storms happening in our lives that we have to deal with.
A death of a loved one, divorce, financial loss, job loss, a business failing, moving to another city or country, forced to leave a country because of war, loss of health due to cancer or other illnesses or a loss of a life that we had planned.

These are also storms, setbacks and crisis in our lives. Things we didn't exactly plan for but they happened anyway.

A big problem with people is that we think we shouldn't have problems and crisis in our lives.
For some reason if we work hard and do everything that we are suppose to do we should be exempt from dealing with any kind of crisis and problems.

But this is not the way it works. We all have to deal with storms. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor. Young or old. Man or a woman. American or European. We will all get our fare share of difficulties, setbacks and obstacles in life.

Problems are like the waves of the ocean.
Some are smaller and some are bigger and sometimes it might feel like a storm is the size of a tsunami.
Often a storm might come along and then it might be a couple of years before you will have to deal with another one. At other times they might hit one after another and you might feel like you can't even catch your breath.

There are two ways of looking at a problem or a crisis.
Something to overcome and get through or.....
A possibility of learning. A message from your true self.

Don't wish for no or less problems.
Instead wish for more knowledge and experience to solve the problems when they occur.

Storms don't happen in our lives to break us. They are often here to help us and make us stronger internally. To guide us.
Sometimes we might be on the wrong path here in life. We might have taken a detour.
Maybe it is a path that isn't truly our own. Then the storm might be here to stop us from keep on going in the wrong direction. It might be a wakeup call for us to stop for a while and examine ourselves and the life we are living.

This is exactly what happened to me back in 2012, when I lost almost everything. I felt like I got hit by a tsunami. Actually I was hit by three storms within a three month period.
It completely knocked me down.

Looking back on it now.....over five years later......I am very grateful that it happened.
I was on the wrong path in life. I was not living the life that I was suppose to live. I had lost myself and I was lost in life.

It took a huge storm to wake me up.
In 2012 I started a journey inward to find out who I was and what I was to do on this little short time that I actually have here on earth.
Has this journey been easy? Absolutely not.
It has been a lot of hard work....almost very day. But I have learned a lot about myself, others and about life.....and that makes me very excited.

A lot of people will wake up a little and for a short period of time but the they unfortunately they go back to sleep again.

But I know that I could never go back to the life I had before 2012.

If it hadn't been for my own storm I would not have become a life coach and started my own coaching business helping people with their lives. I know that because of my experiences in my own life I am now better equipped to help other people.

I wouldn't have started writing newsletters, blogs, postings on social media and YouTube.
And I would not have written my first book "Bounce Don't Break" last year.

Stop wishing for less problems and storms and instead learn how to dance in the rain.

What happened to me back in 2012 was..... The Perfect Storm
and believe that my dance moves are getting better and better!!!

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Are You Willing To Do What It Takes?

                                            If you are not willing to do the work,
                                              don't complain about the result

We all want changes in our lives.

We want to be healthier and in shape.

We want to have more energy. Both physical and mental.

We often want a job that fulfills us and we usually want to make more money.

We want passionate intimate relationships with our partners.

We want great relationships with our children and our parents.

We want to have more time for our friends and for our hobbies.

We want to have more money saved.

And the list goes on and on.

Most of the times we all know what to do to create this in our lives.

If we want to have more energy and a slender body....most of us know the steps that we need to take to make it happen.

Most of us also knows what it takes to create better relationships in our lives.

Most of us knows how to save money for a rainy day or retirement.

So why doesn't more people create what they want in their lives?

It usually comes down to one question......

Are you willing to the work that it takes to create whatever you want...... in your life?

Are you WILLING?

Are you willing to get up an hour earlier so that you can go to the gym before you go to work?

Are you willing to turn off the TV or the internet and read instead so that you can learn something new ?

Are you willing to save your money instead of buying the latest purse or shoes?

Are you willing to cook instead of going out to eat?

Are you willing to change your eating habits?

Are you willing to start saying NO to people?

Are you willing to do the work that it takes to loose the weight?

Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone and do new things that will make you feel awkward in the beginning?

Are you willing to start a new business even though you don't know if it will ever be successful?

Are you willing to go to school in the evenings to learn a new skill?

Are you willing to find a new job that is more in alignment with who you are and what you want to accomplish in life?

Are you WILLING?

For anything to change in our lives.....we must be willing to do the work that will be involved in making what we want into our reality.
We can dream and plan all that we want but if we are not willing to back it up with some kind of action.....nothing will  ever happen.


Monday, October 9, 2017

Turn Your Fear Into Excitement

                                                                If it scares you,
                                                      it might be a good thing to do

Are you afraid of public speaking?

I know I am.

Yesterday I had to face that fear and just do it anyway.

I was doing a presentation....."The Perfect Storm" based on my book and my own life.

It wasn't a large presentation. Around 40 people and the presentation lasted about 45 minutes.

Was a scared? Yes.....I was.
But after I got started and I had spoken for a few minutes the fear went away and was really enjoying it.
After I was through with the presentation I realized that I want to do this more often.

Often we let this feeling or sensation of fear stop us from trying new things.
It will often prevent us from getting out of our comfort zone so we can grow and expand.
Most of us hate feeling awkward and that we might not be in control.

I told myself "I am going to die if I don't do good during this presentation?"
And of course the answer was NO.
Yes..... things can go wrong but if you prepare as much as possible ....things can also go right.

But I know that this feeling that you do have when you are going to do something new....the feeling that we usually call fear....is it possible that it can be something totally different?

What would happen if we look at fear with a new perspective?

What would happen if we turned the belief that we are afraid into something completely different?

Maybe it is excitement that we are feeling instead of fear???

The feeling of fear and the feeling of excitement are very similar to each other.

Can you imagine if we tell ourselves before we are going to do something new....that we are excited instead of fearful?
Do you think that we will perform better? I believe we will.

This is exactly what I told myself yesterday when I was feeling that sensation of  nervousness and fear. I knew I was excited and I had been looking forward to doing this presentation for a month.
I was actually ready to go.
And the sensation I was feeling was excitement instead of fear.

Next time you are trying something new and you are getting that "uncomfortable" feeling inside.....tell yourself that you are feeling excited..... and that you are ready to go.


Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Stress Is Highly Contagious

                                                 "Stress is caused by being here
                                                        but wanting to be there."
                                                             - Eckhart Tolle

When we are feeling stressed we usually think that it all about us.
Our problems and our stress.
We often think that we are the only one with these problems and that it's only affecting us and no one else.
You might want to think again.

Stress is highly contagious and it will eventually impact the people around you.
Making their lives more stressful too.

If you are in a intimate relationship with someone and they experience a high level of stress for a long period of time, it will put a strain on the relationship and it might even fail.
When we are stressed, our perception of things are heightened and we become more sensitive, which can cause conflict and communication issues.
And if you don't know how to help someone that is highly stressed, you will start to feel disconnected it will eventually make you feel stressed too.

If you have stress at home it will affect your work.
And if you have a lot of stress at work it will make an impact on your life with your family and friends.

When we are stressed we also make more mistakes.
Stress will shut down the more logical part of our brain and it will activate the "fight or flight" mode instead.
Stressed people will usually make more mistakes at work, in traffic and at home.
Your mistakes will absolutely affect those around you.

Stress will also affect your nutritional decisions. It's easier to opt for junk food instead of cooking a healthy meal. It's faster..... because most of the time we feel too tired to actually cook.
Or we eat out a lot, which will eventually take its toll on our health.


Monday, October 2, 2017

Random Acts of Kindness

                                                           No act of kindness,
                                                             however small,
                                                              is ever wasted

Today I want to share a great and quite simple idea that will make you feel a lot better and also happier.
It's very easy to do.

When we do something nice and kind for someone else without expecting anything back, it will automatically make us feel happier.
And who doesn't want to feel happier?

Here are a few examples of things that you can do

  • Hold the door open for someone.
  • Buy a flower or some candy for your neighbor.
  • Let someone go in front of you at the line at the grocery store or any other store.
  • Give a stranger a compliment.
  • Give a friend a compliment.
  • Give blood.
  • Say "Hello" to  someone you don't know.
  • Ask someone "How are you today?" and then listen and pay attention to their answer.
  • Pick up some trash at the park or at the beach even though it isn't your job.
  • Smile.
  • Allow a car on the highway to get in front of you.
  • Send a beautiful card to someone you like.
  • Smile and say "Thank You" to the checker at the store.
  • Pay for the coffee for a stranger when you are at Starbucks.
  • Call a friend that you haven't talked to in a long time.
  • Pay for someone's meal at a restaurant.

Try to do at least five good deeds in one week and pay attention to how it will affect the way you feel.


Wednesday, September 27, 2017

The High Price We Pay For Convenience

                         "People who are in the habit of enjoying the comfort of inaction,
                                                often pay a high price in the end."
                                                           - Dr. T.P. Chia

Last week I was taking the train from where I live to where I had to work that particular day.
Today you can buy a train ticket from a machine at the train station or you can get it online and show it on your cell phone when you get onboard the train.
I decided to get my ticket the old fashioned way. I actually went inside the little convenience store at the train station and bough it from a real person.

Often we want convenience in our lives and we want everything so fast so that we can keep on running to the next thing we must do.
I did what most people don't do.....I took some extra time and went inside the store and talked face to face with a real guy. He was a man with a great attitude and he laughed and actually joked with me. We had the most wonderful conversation for a few minutes and he made me laugh and smile.

Now would I have got this connection with a machine or online? What did it cost me?
Just a few extra minutes of my time and the willingness to be inconvenienced.
What did I gain?
A great conversation with a happy and funny person on the opposite end of the counter. Priceless!

Today we can also bank online. We don't need to talk to an actual person anymore. In the stores we now scan our own things that we are buying. No need to talk to a cashier anymore.
Soon we will walk around like robots constantly staring down at our cellphones.

We are super connected today. All these wonderful electronic devices that will allow us to stay connected 24/7 with practically anyone in the world.
Connected to what?
Our Facebook friends? Do you actually know more than a few of them?
How about the rest of social media.....Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn just to name a few. Do you personally know any of these people? Or do you only know the image that they are presenting to the world?
Yes we might get a shot of dopamine when someone likes the photo we just posted on Instagram.
Or we feel really great when someone lets us know on FB that the dish we just made for dinner and took a photo of.....they would like the recipe.
And when we change our profile picture....people will let us know how pretty we are.
This rush of dopamine makes us feel seen and heard at the moment. It makes us feel validated and that people like us.
But as any addiction the feeling is short lived. And in the future your emptiness inside will crave more and more likes on social media to fill you up on the inside.

Unfortunately a lot of people are not taking the time to create meaningful relationships in real life anymore. It's easier to go online and to have a lot of fake friends on FB. We value ourselves based on how many followers on social media that we have.
People don't know how to have a conversation any longer. They don't know that it will take some time to form fulfilling and lasting relationships.
We are disconnected from others but we are also disconnected from true selves.

If you want something you can just go on Amazon and order it and it will arrive the next day. If you want some friends go on FB. If you want a date, just go to match.com and you will have one the same evening. We want things immediately and without having to do much work to get it. We can almost get anything by just pushing a button..... except one thing......
True honest connection with a live human being.

What will happen when you experience some stress in your life? Will your friends on social media be there for you? I am sure that they are willing to listen to you and help you out. Think again.

Who are you going turn to when life gets challenging and often stressful?
We used to turn to our parents for help or our friends. Maybe a neighbor or an acquaintance.

But nowadays we feel isolated, lonely and disconnected we will often turn to surfing the internet for some validation. Or we numb out and sooth our loneliness with other addictions like food, sugar, online gambling, online sex, online dating, shopping, smoking, drugs or drinking. These things will numb our emptiness for a while but soon we will crave some more and also higher doses of it.

Don't get me wrong I love my computer and my phone. I couldn't run my business without it. Technology is fantastic and it will allow us to do amazing things.
But too much of any good thing can eventually harm us.

Take exercising for example. Running or yoga are both great things. But too much can be harmful. It all comes down to the intention. Why are you doing it?
Are you running to escape yourself or are you running to improve your health?
Why are you working so much? Is it to escape an empty relationship at home and to get validation from your boss?

All I want to say is..... don't underestimate the power of human connection. A baby could not survive without it. Just because we grow up doesn't mean that we don't need to connect face to face and to form lasting relationships.....we do.
Human beings are wired for connection.

So the next time you are tempted to just sent an email or a text to a friend or family member....pick up the phone instead. Or even better decide to meet over a cup of coffee or dinner.....and if you do.....put away the phone and be present with the other person.
The greatest gift you can give to someone is your full attention.

And maybe next time that you need a ticket to ride the train....buy it from an actual person.
If you are lucky enough you might get the pleasure of buying the ticket from the same person that I did last week.


Monday, September 25, 2017

Dear Stress, Lets Break Up!

                                          "Saying YES to happiness means learning
                                     to say NO to things and people that stress you out."
                                                           - Thelma Davis

There isn't anything wrong with having some stress in our lives. But if we have too much for a longer period of time, stress can affect us in a negative way. Balance is key.
If you have been dealing with a lot of stress lately and for an extended period of time, it might be a good thing to slow down and take it a little easy for a while.
This way, stress won't overwhelm you and it won't have a negative effect on your health and your wellbeing.

Stress isn't just a negative thing. To have a lot to do isn't always a bad thing. Quite the opposite.
We need a little stress to get us going. It will help us focus and to prioritize and it will a lot of times make us more creative.
We actually need the good stress to get us off the couch and get us going. Without it, we wouldn't dare to take chances, we wouldn't start over again after a setback or crisis and we would constantly procrastinate.
The perfect thing would be to have a little stress on a regular base. It will make us healthier and it will make us feel more alive.

Stress that is negative for our wellbeing is the one that will last for a long time. And if we are bad at handling the stress it can lead to undesirable consequences for our bodies and our wellbeing.
We all need to make sure that we get enough time to relax and enough time to re-charge our batteries. If we don't it will often lead to feeling stressed, overwhelmed and eventually burnout.

To completely avoid stress isn't good either. Our brain needs to stay active and it gets better with learning new things. In other words our brain needs to be stimulated and it needs to practice handling stress. So if your brain never gets to experience stress at all, it will eventually get very bad at handling just a little bit of stress.

The brain is like a muscle. You have to work it on a regular base for it to get better. The key is not to overwork it for a longer period of time without any rest, relaxation and some fun.

A Few Tips How to Handle Stress

Balance is key. Try not to get overstimulated at the same time as you don't want to get understimulated either. Work hard for a few hours and then make sure you take a break. Then you can work hard again and then relax.

If you have worked very hard for a longer period of time then try to take it a little easy for a while.
If you have had a tough time at work or in your private life, learn to take a step back and enjoy some down time. Same thing if you have been doing too little for a while make sure you step up the pace.

Variety is a great. If you have been in meetings all day make sure that you have some alone time at night. Or if you have been alone during the day you might need to get out of the house in the evening and enjoy some kind of activity with family or friends.

Down time doesn't mean that you do absolutely nothing. If you have been using your brain all day you might enjoy a slow walk in the woods with your dog in the evening. Or start a new hobby.

Avoid worrying and overthinking. Easier said than done. I know!!!
Remember that your brain will get better at what it is practicing.
So if you are worrying a lot, guess what??? Your brain will get better at worrying.
Worrying is just a bad habit and you do have control over your own thoughts and what you focus on.

Learn to focus on what you do want, instead of what you don't want.

If you are stressed about not having enough time you might want to take a closer look at where you are spending your time. Write it down for a couple of days and your will quickly see where you are wasting time.
In the end it comes down to learning to prioritize.

Laugh and have some fun. Laughing is a great stress relief. Watching a funny movie on TV or DVD after a tough day at work is a fantastic way to relax and feel good.

Reward yourself often. Create a few small weekly rewards for yourself for being able to relax and taking some steps back. It can be inviting a friend for a cup of coffee. A wonderful bubble-bath or buy yourself a small gift.

Create meaningful and low stress relationships with family and friends.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

How Big is Your Comfort Zone?

                                               "Move out of your comfort zone.
                             You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward
                                  and uncomfortable when you try something NEW."
                                                              - Brian Tracy

About a month ago I had a conversation with a client about her job situation.
She lives in a small town and she has had the same job for over ten years. I could sense during our conversation that she was fed up with her job situation and that she longed for some changes.

I asked her if she had tried to look for another job, and she stated that she hadn't. My next question was..... "How about finding a job and try it out for a while?" and  maybe keeping the old job and try on a new position somewhere..... maybe once a week or a few hours per day?" She sighed and stated that "Well, I know what I got but I don't know what I will get if I try." My next question was....."are you afraid to look for a new job?" and she said "YES."

"How about if you will get something better..... if you start looking?" was my next question. She said that she hadn't thought about it in that way.

People have a tendency to always think that if they have to change something it is going to get worse than what they have.
This is one big reason that we remain where we are. We know what we have and we often don't believe that we will get something better, if we change or try something new.

This is why a lot of people will remain in dysfunctional relationships that they have outgrown years ago. Or they stay at job that bores them to death and won't allow them to grow or learn something new. Also people don't dare to move to another city because they are afraid of leaving the safety of friends and family behind.
Eventually they will get stuck in their comfort zone.

If we continue like this our comfort zone will shrink and shrink until we will feel like we are wearing chains or maybe feeling like a caged bird. I believe that a lot of people actually would like to change and to do something more challenging, if they could see what the future will hold for them. But that is not possible. We have to take a leap of faith and not allow fear of the unknown to stop us.

                            You are only confined by the walls you build yourself

We settle where we are and later in life we will have to deal with regrets for not trying. Often people will become angry and bitter for letting life just slip on by without doing anything about it.

Don't let this be you!!!

Dare to venture out of your comfort zone. Start by doing something that scares you and that you haven't done before.

One small little step today and then the next day and the next day..... will eventually lead to big changes, excitement and wonderful growth.

But you have to start!!!