Monday, October 8, 2018

If You Blame People For The Bad - You Also Have To Blame Them For The Good

                                        "Quit blaming your past for your current condition.
                                        Yesterday has nothing to do with today or tomorrow
                                                         unless you decide it does."
                                                              - Grant Cardone

It's easy to blame others for our misery, failures and misfortunes in life.

Our parents weren't there for us when we were kids. Our siblings gave us a lot of misery while we were growing up. Our teachers didn't have faith in us and put us down. Our spouse wasn't supportive and didn't care and our friends are negative and self absorbed.
And the list goes on and on and on.

You can always come with some reason(s) why your current situation is not working because of something someone else did or didn't do.

Of course blaming others allows us to take ourselves off the hook because it wasn't our fault.
It was theirs.

                                      "When you think everything is someone else's fault.
                                                          you will suffer a lot."
                                                                  - Dalai Lama

Now I get it....there are a lot of miserable and terrible people out there in the world.
I have met some of those people myself. And yes, there have been some awful things done to me, and some people that were very close to me betrayed me in the most awful way
But even the most negative and miserable person can teach us something....if we are willing to look at the lesson.

Here is another way of thinking about it.
This "bad person(s)" that did you wrong and created such a mess in your blame them for all the bad things...…right?
Now, how about all the good things that they did or the good things that came out of the experience?
Are you also blaming them for those?

If you blame someone for all the bad, you also have to blame them for all the good.

I don't believe that anyone is "all bad" and that any experiences is ever "all bad" or wasted.

Even the worst parent, spouse, sibling, friend, teacher, boss or co-worker can teach us something.

If you keep on blaming people, you will end up stuck in life.
Yes, they might have done something terrible to you, but now you can make a decision to move on and create a better future for yourself or you can remain stuck in the past.
The choice it totally up to you.

                       "To solve a problem you have to recognize your share of responsibility. "

If you reflect back on the person and the situation, do you think that you can find something good that came out of it?

You might have to look a little closer..... but let's be honest...... this person might have ignited some great talent in you that you didn't know you had but you had to develop it when this person walked away from you?

Maybe you have to become very resourceful on your own because your parents didn't care to help you as a child?

Maybe by being abused by someone, you are now working with helping others to deal with their own abuse situation and you are now their inspiration and motivation that they too can heal and move on with their lives.

Maybe by being deep in debt, you now have turned your life around and are helping others how to manage their money in a healthy way.

Maybe by being in a very bad relationship you have now learned why it didn't work and you are now assisting others who are trying to understand and work on their relationships.

So again, if you blame people and situations for the bad, you must also blame them for the good.


Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Some People Are Part Of Your History - Not Your Destiny

                                      "Letting go means to come to the realization 
                                           that some people are part of our history,
                                                            but not our destiny."
                                                             - Steve Maraboli

A couple of weeks ago I met with a dear friend for lunch.

After talking for a few minutes she said to me "It's amazing how much energy and how tiring it is to deal with relationships in our lives that are not working." 

So true. 
If we are unhappy in our intimate relationships, we are usually not happy at all. 
Unhappy and unfulfilling relationships will bleed over into all other areas of our lives. So it's very important to keep the relationships that are closes to us healthy. If not we will suffer greatly.

A lot of us have a tendency to hang onto relationships in our lives that have been over for years. Relationships that are actually weighing us down. We are afraid to be alone and scared that we will not be able to handle the situation. 
You know what you got - but you don't know what you will get.

                                                              If you want to fly,
                                  you have to get rid if what is  weighing you down.

If you have a spouse or partner that have grown apart, it might be time to let go and to move on?

If you are in a job where your boss is not supportive and there will never be any opportunities or growth, maybe it's time to let go and move onto something bigger and better?

Sometimes family members can weigh us down and it might be hard to walk away and let go because after all they are family.

Our friends can be a great source of happiness but also unhappiness. You might want to take a closer look at who you are spending most of your time with. 
As they say, you will become like the 5 people that you spend most of your time with.

Sometimes some people are so "messed up" that if you don't leave, it may rub off on you. 
Don't allow someone's disfunction to become your disfunction. 

Some people you just have to love from a distance. 

You might not have to walk away from people forever. 
But if they are constantly being negative, blaming you or others for their misery, angry, jealous, complaining all the might be time to take a closer look at what they are doing to you, and your relationship with them.

                              "Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there
                                                      are signs of great strength. 
                        However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know
                                                     when to let go and then do it."
                                                                 - Ann Landers

One thing that I have learned as I have gotten older is that some people will be in your life for a very short time. Some will stay a little longer. And then there are a few that will stay with you 
throughout your whole life.

The trick is to understand which ones are only here for a short time and which ones will stay forever. And then there are also some people that you should not allow into your life, even for a very short time.

                                                   Some people come into our lives
                                                         to teach us how to let go.


Monday, October 1, 2018

Failure Is Not The End

                                         "Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker.
                                                       Failure is delay, not defeat.
                                         It is a temporary detour, not a dead end.
                            Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, 
                                                doing nothing and being nothing."
                                                              - Dennis Waitly

A have come across a lot of people that are so afraid to fail that they don't even try some thing new.
Even if it will expand and improve the quality of their life.

Someone told me once....."If I don't try, it means that I didn't fail. I just say that I didn't feel like trying this particular thing because it wasn't worth an effort or a chance, and after all I wasn't really interesting in trying it anyway. So If I don't try, I cannot fail.....right?"

What do you think?

Are you so afraid of trying something new, even though you would like to, but you talk yourself out of it because you are afraid that you will look foolish or stupid?
Or it might be too much pain and uncertainty involved and you don't like the feeling of not having total control. How about rejection?

Is rejection failure?
Maybe you are being rejected personally or maybe the product/services that you are selling are not doing well.
Being rejected can be an awful feeling, but you can also think of rejection as a form of protection and re-direction.
Maybe your rejection isn't failure? Maybe it's moving you in a direction of something bigger and better that you couldn't see at the moment that you felt like your rejection was a failure?

We don't always know what is around the corner. Maybe a force bigger than you knows something that you don't know? And this force is protecting and you moving you or re-directing you in a different direction than you wanted, but this new direction will actually lead you to a bigger and better opportunity for you?

Just remember this..... failure is not the final destination. It will never be the final destination unless you decide to quit.

Failure is actually a lesson, if you are open to learning what the lesson is here to teach you.

Failure can a lot of times be the greatest teacher.

                                          "Our greatest glory is not in never failing,
                                                  but in rising every time we fail."
                                                       Ralph Waldo Emerson your failures. Get up and get going and then fail some more.

Every time you fail it will bring you that much closer to success.

                                          "Failure is not the opposite of success;
                                                         it's part of success."
                                                       - Ariana Huffington

Try something new today. 
Something that that you have been wanting to try for a long time or short time.
If you fall, get up right away and try again.
Study the failure and ask yourself.....What can I learn from this? And how can I do it differently next time?
Know that the only failure lies in never trying at all.

You can do it......I believe in YOU!