Discipline Is Required For Progress

                         Discipline is the foundation upon which all success is built. 

                                       Lack of discipline inevitably leads to failure. 

                                                                        - Jim Rohn

If you want things in your life to get better, you must decide that you want to make it better. If you want a better future for yourself, you must start creating it. One discipline at a time.

To make your future better you must accept responsibility. You are the only person that can make things better. No one is going to do the work for you.

Doing better comes from getting better. Getting better happens from the discipline of doing better and better.
Getting better doesn´t happen from wishful thinking. 

One discipline always leads to another discipline. 

- Jim Rohn 

Discipline is required for progress. Affirmations alone won´t do the trick.

Make a conscious decision to create a positive habit and then repeat it every day until it becomes automatic.
Tell yourself that  no matter what is going on in the world and in your life, you won´t quit your new habit. 

 Confidence comes from discipline and training. 

- Robert Kiyosaki 

Successful people have more than education and experience. They have good habits and attitudes.

The key to create any habit (healthy or unhealthy) is consistency.

Breaking bad habits can be difficult, but it´s within your power.

As humans we are often a product of our environment, so make sure that you surround yourself with people who will lead you to success. If you are surrounded by negative, fearful and lazy people, it will be hard for you to motivate yourself to achieve your goals.

We don't drift into good directions. We discipline and prioritize ourselves there.  

- Andy Stanley

Be positive, persistent, yet patient, have resilience and always be adaptable.

Discipline is doing what you know needs to be done, even when you don't want to do it.

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Validate Yourself

                                          Seeking validation will keep you trapped. 

                   You don't need anyone or anything to approve of your worth. 

                                        When you understand this you'll be free.

From the time that we are born, we need validation. Loving parents will offer consistent validation for their children. Parents validate their children's feelings, perceptions, their gifts, talents, their interests, kindness and their intuition.

If you received this from your parents you are very fortunate. 

Unfortunately most parents didn´t validate their children feelings because they didn´t know how to validate their own feelings and perceptions.

And since your parents didn´t validate themselves and you. You probably don´t know how to validate yourself and you probably don´t even know that it is your responsibility to do this for yourself.

I did receive very little validation from my own parents as I was growing up . Since my parents didn´t know how to validate themselves...  I had no idea on how to do it. It was impossible for me to do because I didn´t know how. For a long time I allowed other people to determine my worth and I was relying on their validation. I don´t do that anymore.

Are you dependent on others approval and validation for your own sense of worth?

Do you hand over the job to other people to validate you?

If you do it will create a lot of anxiety and unhappiness in your life.

It is absolutely necessary to validate ourselves for us to be happy, peaceful and to feel a sense of security and worth and to be able to have loving relationships with others. 

Stop looking for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security or love - for you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.

-  Eckhart Tolle


So how to we validate ourselves?

Self-judgment. Pay attention to how much you judge yourself. It is very common for a lot of people to judge themselves. Many of us were judged as we were growing up and we learn to judge ourselves rather than value ourselves.
Self-judgment will create a lot of insecurity and inner pain and it is the opposite of valuing ourselves.
As long as you continue to judge yourself you will continue to feel badly.

Feelings. Pay attention to your feelings. They are your inner guidance and your inner knowing. Pay attention to your own acts of kindness toward others and yourself and value them. At our core we are beautiful beings. Unfortunately most of us don´t value our own beautiful inner being. Instead we value ourselves and others by their achievements, looks and what other people think of us.
Instead of judging your feelings, tend to them. All feelings have information. 

Ask yourself... what is this feeling trying to tell me? 

If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life.

Learn to trust your inner knowing. Learn to trust what is right and what is wrong for you. Don´t allow other people to decide for you.
When you trust and decide for yourself you will start to feel more powerful on the inside.

Be kind to others and to yourself. Value yourself for your kindness. When you start to do this you will start to feel happy with yourself.

Take loving action on your own behalf. Decide on what is a really loving action to you. What is in your highest good
Loving actions can be eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise, speaking up for yourself with others - without blame, creating a balance between work and play, getting rid of toxic people and relationships and moving yourself toward work you love and so on. 

You have to validate yourself first, 

and then you will receive the much deserved validation from the rest of the world. 

- D. D. Poisey

Self-validation starts with being present in your own body. Being present with your own feelings. Welcoming your feelings, learning the information and not judging yourself.
Be open to learning what your feelings are telling you.

If you take these steps you will soon discover that you will be feeling better about yourself and that you will need less and less validation from others.

You will naturally validate yourself. 

You've been criticizing yourself for years and it' hasn't worked. 

Try approving of yourself and see what happens. 

- Louise Hay

• Encouraging yourself
• Acknowledging your strengths, successes, progress, and effort
• Noticing and accepting your feelings
• Prioritizing your needs
• Treating yourself with kindness
• Saying nice things to yourself
• Accepting your limitations, flaws, and mistakes

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At The Root Of All Addiction Is Pain

      "Addiction is a secondary problem that comes out of a primary problem.
                               So when we put all the emphasis on the secondary problem
                                       but don´t pay any attention to the primary one,
                                                then how can we possible succeed?"

What do you think about when you see or hear the word addiction?

A person smoking, drinking, doing drugs, gambling, overeating or shopping to much?

Did you know that the addiction isn´t the real problem?

Addiction is actually a way that a person is trying to solve a problem.

People try to solve a problem with addiction but in trying to do so they are sometimes creating an even bigger problem.

Addiction is a distraction. It's an escape.
A distraction for not wanting to be yourself for a while. .
People are so uncomfortable with themselves and through distracting themselves for a while they don´t have to be themselves, or to think about what is going on in their lives.
An escape or a way to self-sooth.

No one is born an addict.
Addiction goes back to suffering and the suffering usually goes back to early childhood.
Addiction reflects some childhood distress or trauma and that is why people self- sooth.
People are finding relief in the addiction. 

"It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drugs or the addictive behavior." 

- Gabor Mate


What is addiction?

Any behavior you create that gives you some type of relief or pleasure and that also have negative consequences.
It´s a behavior that you continue to do despite the negative consequences in your life.

Addiction can be either substance abuse or an addictive behavior.

What are some addictive behaviors....
working too much, overeating, alcohol, coffee, sugar, gambling, too much shopping, sex, web surfing, too much TV, compulsive texting, sexting, constantly checking social media or constantly being on the cell phone with people.

There are things that are healthy for you but they can turn into something unhealthy if you do it as an escape or distraction.
Physical exercise, yoga, religion or spirituality are a few examples.


Why do people get addicted?
Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, sex or gambling is not addictive in itself or we would all be addicted.

Relief from their suffering. When we suffer too much to be ourselves we want to disconnect through some form of self- soothing behavior or substance. 

"Ask not why the addiction. Ask why the pain?". 

- Gabor Mate

The first step in healing any addiction is to recognize that we have a problem.

When we reconnect with ourselves we will be able to get rid of the addictive behavior

Be compassionate with yourself.

Be curious. Learn as much as you can.

Learn how you got there. People are usually acting out what happened to them. 

"We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind which we create our world." 

- Gabor Mate


Awareness and understanding.

Get clear on what happened in the past with your parents, grandparents, siblings, friends or teachers.
Understand that these people have hurt you but that they might not have done it deliberately. They gave you all that they had to give. If they would have had more they would have given it to you.
They did the best that they could with what their parents had taught and given to them.

Find supportive environments. It is hard to do this on your own.
Hire a mentor, coach or therapist. Join a support group. Read books and articles. Listen to podcasts and attend seminars.
Find people who understand you and what you and going through. People who you can trust and seek their support when you are stressed.
Create some structure in your life.

Addiction is about soothing threats.
That is why when we are more stressed we will go for addiction,
In recovery and self connecting with self we must find functional ways in dealing with stress, because stress is going to happen and it is all around us.

Check your level of stress around you.
The more stressed you are - the more likely you will be to reach for some kind of addiction.
How many stresses are you taking on right now? 

It's not the drugs that make a drug addict, it's the need to escape the reality.

The more you stress people - the more they cling to their addiction.

Figure out what is triggering you.
Look at the issue of what is making you addicted in the first place.

When you have recognized you have a problem - try to stay away from stimuli.

If you like to shop - then make a conscious effort to stay away from going to stores or looking on-line.
If you have problem with alcohol - stay away from parties and stay away from friends that will pull you back into drinking. 

If you are addicted to certain foods, coffee or sugar, take some time to clean out your pantry and you refrigerator and get rid of the unhealthy things that you are addicted to.

When you are getting triggered - make a habit of telling someone.
Call a trusted friend and tell them about what is going on, instead of hiding it.

When you bring it into the light or in the open  - you will help diminish it.

When you keep something in the dark it will continue to grow and wreck havoc in your life. 

You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or defeated. You were created to be victorious.

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