Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Maybe An Obstacle Is An Opportunity To Learn Something?

                                                 "If you find a path with no obstacles,
                                                   it probably doesn't lead anywhere."
                                                             - Frank A. Clark

Are you dealing with an obstacle in your life right now?

Most of the time when these obstacles, setbacks or problems occur, we usually curse the problem or the obstacle. Wishing that it would never have happened.

When God wants to give you a gift, he wraps it up in a problem.
Could there be some truth in this?

                                                  See everything is and opportunity
                                                         to learn something new.

Maybe the obstacle that you are facing right now is an opportunity for you to learn something?

Maybe this is the lesson that you need to learn in order to grow and to move to the next level of your life?

So instead of cursing the obstacle or the problem, take a closer look at it and wonder, is there a lesson buried in this problem that I am having right now?

Be willing to examine the situation and be willing to look for the lesson.

                                              "Adversity causes some men to break;
                                                        other to break records."
                                                        - William Arthur ward

You never know it might be the exactly what you been looking for, but it arrived in a different package than you expected.

Can you turn this obstacle into an opportunity?


Monday, March 25, 2019

The Desire To Be Happy

                            Don't put the keys to your happiness in someone else's pocket.

What makes you feel happy and fulfilled?

A new house, a bigger car, the perfect tropical vacation, the perfect life-partner, designer clothes?
Or is it something else?

Your ability to achieve your own happiness is the true measure of your success in life.

A lot of people have accumulated everything of material nature, but they are still feel unfulfilled and unhappy.

Do you feel that you are in control of your own life?
Most of us feel happy to the degree that we feel that we are in control of our own lives. Stress and unhappiness will arise when we feel controlled by outside circumstances like a bad marriage, bad boss, our bills, our financial situation, our health, our education or our past, just to name a few.
When we feel that we are in charge of our lives, we feel happier. When we feel that we determine mostly what happens to us, we usually feel strong, powerful, and happy.

We feel content with our lives when we feel that our situation matches our goals and our vision for our lives.
In other words, our situation matches our expectations or our blueprint of what we want in life and that equals happiness.

Happiness is not a thing. Happiness is a bi-product that comes to you when you are engaged in doing something that you really enjoy doing, together with people that you like and respect.

When you feel that you are growing, expanding and moving forward in life you will feel happy. When you are moving forward towards your most important goals you will automatically feel happy, satisfied and content. When you are moving forward and growing personally, the bi-product of that is happiness.

Growth = Happiness

Here are five things that are required for happiness

Health and Energy
Some people don't do well in life, simply because they don't feel well.
When we have high energy levels and can enjoy high levels of health, we feel happy. Most people don't think a lot about their health until it is being taking away from them in the form of pain or illness. It takes a lot of self-discipline to acquire and stay at high level of health, fitness and wellbeing. Don't neglect you body because it is the only place you got to live.

Meaningful Relationships
Eight-five percent of our happiness will come from our relationships with other people. Did you know that people with high level of self-esteem and self-respect get along better with others and they usually have happier lives.
A lot of people take their relationships for granted, especially the most important ones and this will eventually result in unhappiness. Don't neglect the ones that are closest to you.
Make TIME for family and friends.

Meaningful Work
To be truly happy, we must be doing work that we enjoy. When we are engaged and active it will give us a sense of fulfillment and energy. People feel truly happy when they feel that they are making a contribution of some kind. We need to feel that what we do makes a difference in the life of others. We must have challenging work where there is opportunities for growth and advancement. We also need to have pleasant co-workers around us.
Find the right job for you. Make sure that what you do is a good fit and that you will be able to grow and advance.

Financial  Independence 
Work towards financial freedom in your life. A lot of people are fearful of poverty. Fear of running out of money and being dependent on others.
The happiest people are those who have reached the point of where they no longer worry about money.
It will require a lot of self-discipline to become financial independent.

Self- Actualization
The realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities, especially considered as a drive and need present in every one.
It is the feeling that we are becoming everything that we are capable of becoming. We are reaching more and more of our potential.
The happiest people are those who feel that they are doing something worthwhile and that they are doing something important with their lives. They feel that they are stretching and growing beyond what they have ever done before. They continue on the journey of personal development and growth and when they continue on this journey they will feel a steady flow of happiness.
They are becoming more and more of what they were truly meant to become.


Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Consistency Is Not Glamorous But It's Effective

                                                  What you do every day matters more
                                                      than what you do once in a while.

When people get started on a new goal, a lot of them almost overdo it.

When people starts a new exercise routine, they go from sitting on the couch for years, to going to the gym 5 - 6 days a week, for 2-3 hours at a time. And the truth is, that they don't even like the gym.
Or they go from moving very little, to running 3-5 miles, five days a week, in a very short time.

Here is another example....

Some people decide that when they are going to loose weight, they stop eating almost all kinds of food. They stop drinking coffee, tea and they cut out everything that is sweet and contains any carbohydrates, due to the latest diet.  And now they are only eating salads, carrot sticks, celery, broccoli and tuna. And they have never eaten salads in their whole life and they can't stand tuna. But they know that they can loose weight doing this, according to the latest diet trend.

                                      "Small disciplines repeated with consistency every day
                                        lead to great achievements gained slowly over time."
                                                                 - John Maxwell

Above are just two examples, but I think you can understand what I am talking about here.

I can use myself as an example. I like to stay in shape but right now I don't have the time to go to the gym and I have to admit that I don't enjoy being in a gym. I love the outdoors. I walk almost every day, and most of the days I walk twice a day, for about 45-60 minutes every time. I have dogs that need to walk so I combine my exercise with spending time with my dogs. I also do yoga, 30 minutes three times per week, in my home and 10 minutes four times per week. I have developed an easy routine to follow that won't break me or bore me. It's quick and convenient. It works right now, where I am in life. It's easier to just put my tennis shoes on and go walking than to have to get to the gym to do the same thing. I have done this for so many years that it is an automatic habit for me. Something that I can actually do for the rest of my life.

The truth is that you set yourself up for failure when you do too much, too soon. The shift of your lifestyle is massive, and it will be difficult to sustain it for a very long time.

Instead find a program that you can absolutely do, long term. Something that you can do today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. Do something that you can do for the rest of your life.

The Power Of Consistency
Smart choices and action repeated consistently will add up over time. 
In the end you will win when you take the right steps day in and day out for a long period of time.

                                                  "Success is the sum of small efforts
                                                       repeated day in and day out."
                                                                 - Robert Collier

What can you do for the rest of your life?


Monday, March 18, 2019

The Power In Knowing Your WHY

                                                              What is you why?
                                       When you know your why you do what you do
                                                 even the toughest days become easier.

We must all create a vison for our lives.
In order to live a happy and fulfilled life our vision of our life and our future must be compelling. Yes, so many people fail to create something that they are excited about. Most people's lives are not that bad. It's comfortable, and maybe that is the real problem.
If your life isn't that bad, why would you want to change anything? Things are OK, not great but you will manage. And change usually requires some kind of sacrifice or delayed gratification and you will convince yourself that your life isn't that bad right now. No need for change at this moment.

So most people continue on with their lives, growing a little more dissatisfied and bored for every year that goes by. Most people will only change when they are convinced that the past has been bad, the present is bad and the future doesn't look any better either.

When I ask my coaching clients and also sometimes I ask my friends, what they want? They look at me with a blank stare. Most of them have no clue of that they want. They haven't asked themselves that questions in many, many years.
"What do you mean, what do I want?", they ask.

First you must figure out what you want before you can move on to the next question. It might take sometime to figure out the answer to this question. Most people will answer that they want to be happy, healthy, have more money and better relationships. These answers are very common for most people. We all these things, but we must be more specific.

What does happiness look like to you? What does health and vitality look like to you? How much money would you like to have and how much money would you like to earn? What is a healthy and fulfilling relationship look like to you.

Always be specific. The more specific the better. Write it down on a piece of paper and then study it and make adjustments until you get a crystal clear picture of what you want. Now you have a vison for your life. It will be good to have a vision for every area of your life.

Personal Growth

Your vision will act like a giant magnet in your life. If you have a strong vision of what you want, it can pull you through all kinds of bad days, weeks, months and even years. It will pull you up and away from your past and it will keep you going straight instead of being pulled sideways due to all of the distractions around you that are constantly pulling you sideways and trying to get you off track.

First question is.....What Do You Want?

Now, here is the next very powerful question.....WHY do you want what you want?

The REASON(S) why you want what you want.
This question is very powerful, and the more powerful reasons that you will come up with, the stronger the pull of your vision.
In other words the magnet of you vision will pull you stronger towards it, the more powerful reasons that you come up with.

So what is your WHY? 
Why do you want what you want?
Sit down and make a list of all your reasons.

A powerful WHY can overcome any HOW.

1. What do you want?
2. Why do you want it?
3. Time to create your game plan on how to go from where you are today, to where you want to be in the future.
4. Take action on your plan, starting today.

What Is Your WHY?


Wednesday, March 13, 2019

You Know What To Do..... But Why Are You Not Doing What You Know?

                                             "The secret of your future is hidden
                                                         in your daily routine."
                                                             - Mike Murdock

Most of us know how to loose weight, get in shape, save money, have better relationships, improve our lives, set goals or be happier.

It doesn't take hours at the gym, every day to get in shape. Just a brisk walk for 30-60 minutes per day, 5-6 days per week, will work.
It doesn't take a certain diet, where you can't eat any carbs, no fat, no sugar, no fruit or only fruit or whatever the latest "New" diet is. A well balance diet will work  Remember, everything in moderation is OK.
Most people know how to save money, yet there out there spending every last dime of their pay check and then some more.
We know that we must take time in our busy schedules to work on our relationships, if they are going to improve, grow and remain healthy and fulfilling.

In other words we know what we must do on a daily base to live better lives, then WHY doesn't most people do what they know, they must do?

There are a few traps that might get you off track. Check out my BLOGS from last week....

Invisible Results

Instant Gratification

It seems like people that are unsuccessful at doing something or reaching a goal, for some strange reason believe that successful people simply love to do the things that makes them successful.
Successful people simply do what needs to be done, in order to get to where they want to go. They don't always love doing it, but they know that in order to get to where they want to go, not all tasks and activities are going to be fun. But they must do these activities…..rain or shine.

I will use myself as an example.

I get up almost every morning at 5 am. Do you think I love doing this?
No, I don't. Especially not in the winter time when it's dark and cold. 

Do you think I like to walk every day with my dogs for about 60 minutes? No I don't. Especially not when it's raining, cold and even snowing, like it does when I live in Sweden. 

Do you think I like to eat veggies, salads and fruit all the time, instead of enjoying fast food and chocolate cake? No, I don't.

Do you think that I always love to write my weekly Blogs and Newsletter? No, I don't. Sometimes I don't know what to write about and some days my head feels so cloudy.

Do you think I enjoy sitting down for weeks, almost every day to start and to finish a book. No, I don't.

Do you think I enjoy saying no to most functions in the evenings and getting together with friends, because I have to get up at 5 am, the morning?
No, I don't.

Do you think, saying no to watching TV is always easy to do? No, but I rather work on my own dream than watching other people live out theirs.

Do you think it's easy to read a personal development book per week, instead of watching funny a cute videos on YouTube, or surf the Internet? No, it's not.

Do you think it's easy to stay away from constantly checking email, social media and text messages, and instead work on my own business?
No, it's not. 

So you see, successful people don't like to do a lot of daily habits and tasks. The tasks are often boring, loborius, frustrating, uninspiring, mundane and defeating. But what separates successful people from unsuccessful people is that they perform those tasks anyway.

I often hear people tell me that when they get the right information, they will start. But until then they won't take any action. They continue to read a lot of books and articles. They continue to attend seminar after seminar, but unfortunately they never take action on what they have already learned. They are always chasing the "NEW" thing, before they can start. And as we know there is plenty of information out there to look for, so these people will never get going.
They will search for the perfect thing, to take action on, for the rest of their lives.

What are your daily routines?


Monday, March 11, 2019

Never Accept Advice From People Who Are More Messed Up Than You Are

                                       What you preach, what you teach, and what you say,
                                               has to line up with how you live your day.
                                           Don't just talk the walk, but walk the walk too.

Do you ever run into people that will gladly tell you how to do things, or not do things, but what they are telling you to do, or not do, they won't do, or not do, themselves?
Maybe you have someone in your life right now that is doing that?
In other words they are talking a lot, but they are not doing anything themselves.
They forgot the walk.

I have ran into many people like this in my own life. They are everywhere. They will gladly tell you what to do, but they would never do it, or they have never done it themselves.

                                               Don't base your decisions on advice of those
                                                   who don't have to deal with the results.

Have you ever heard the story about the mother who has a young son that she is very concerned about because he eats too much sugar and she want him to stop eating it?

This mother takes her son with her and goes to meet with an old and wise man. She says, "Sir, can you please tell my son to stop eating sugar."
The wise man looks at the child and then he turns around and tells the mother to come back in two weeks. The woman leaves with her son and returns again two weeks later. Again they are both standing in front of this old and wise man, waiting for him to give them a very wise solution the young boy's" problem. The wise man turns to the boy and says, "Stop eating sugar!" The woman looks very surprised by the answer and says, "Why could you not have told me this two weeks ago, when we were here?" The wise man answers, "Two weeks ago, I was eating sugar, myself."

I love this little short story. Are you practicing what you are teaching other people to do? Are you giving advice that you yourself, are not following?

About a month ago I was attending a business event with around 30 people. Before the meeting started, I was talking to a man that was selling real estate. We were talking about how important it is to have discipline and healthy habits in your life. He told me how he was cutting down on watching TV, texting and spending less time on the internet, to show his own kids about self-discipline and self-control. In other words, he was working on installing healthier habits in his kids, by being a great role-model.
During this particular event there were different presentations, delivered by around five different people. Same man as I mentioned above,  instead of giving his undivided attention to the different speakers, the same man that was talking about self-discipline and self-control, was texting almost the whole time, during these presentations.
Now, what is wrong with this picture???
Where was his discipline and self-control that he had bragged about only 10 minutes earlier?

Walk Your Talk!!!


Wednesday, March 6, 2019

What You Don't Want To Do Is Probably Exactly What You Should Do

                                                      "Instant gratification is short-lived
                                                                   and full of regret."
                                                                   -  Brenda Buster

In my blog this past Monday, I was talking about that every single choice that we make has an effect on us. We might no see it right away. It might take years for it to show up in our life, but it will show up. Good or bad. Every choice that we make will matter.
When we decide to start making better choices in our lives, there will be traps on our path to success and unfortunately these traps will sometimes knock us of our path of making healthy and positive choices.

One trap that we will be faced with is Invisible Results. If you missed my BLOG from Monday here it is

Today I want to mention another huge trap that we will have to face and that might knock us off our path to success and it is, Instant Gratification.

As a society we have become addicted to immediate gratification. We want what we want, and we want it NOW. We have become very impatient. We want to be gratified and pleasured, right now.
We have lost the ability to delay gratification.

                                                 When you delay instant gratification,
                                             you will experience long term satisfaction.

Here is an example: After dinner you still want something else to eat. You are deciding between a wonderful sweet dessert, like chocolate cake or a small piece of fruit.
What would you pick?

If you pick the sweet dessert you will feel happy, joyful, warm, satisfied. You get pleasured and you get gratified.

What happens if you pick the small piece of fruit? Not much. You won't feel none of these above. In other words you will get nothing.

Now here is the big problem for most of us, when we are trying to make positive choices. If we make the wrong choice, we will feel wonderful and we are rewarded. If we make the right choice, we don't get much or sometimes nothing. No pleasure. No gratification. No Happiness. No attention. No warm and fuzzy feeling.

Unfortunately we get started early in life with this immediate gratification. When was the first time you got introduces to dessert as a child? I bet it was very early in your life. After that we learn how to constantly pleasure ourselves.

In today's world we are bombarded with solicitation of instant gratification. Junk food, candy, soda, shopping, gambling, alcohol, TV, email, FB and cell phones, just to name a few.
All day and every day we are getting pulled on, to gratify ourselves. Messages are everywhere.

This makes it very difficult for us to stay on our path of making positive choices.

What will give us short term pleasure, candy, dessert, TV or FB.....create long term pain
On the other hand, short term pain, created long term pleasure.

Jim Rohn says in one of his quotes.....the pain of discipline weighs ounces, but the pain of regret weighs tons.

                                               Don't exchange what you want the most 
                                                    for what you want in the moment.

Learn to do the things that you don't want to do.

Do you want to go to the gym after work and put in a workout, instead of going home and sit on the couch and watch TV? Probably not.

Do you rather have the salad for lunch instead of the hamburger? Probably not.

Do you rather have a small piece of fruit instead of a candy bar or dessert? Probably not.

Do you want to make the phone call that will make you feel uncomfortable? Probably not

Do you want to go up to this person and introduce yourself and risk being rejected? Probably not.

In a heat of an argument with someone, do you want to tell them that they are right and that you are sorry? Probably not.

Do you rather save your money instead of buying that new purse? Probably not.

Do you rather go to "happy hour" with your friends instead of going home and work on your goals? Probably not.

What you don't want to do is probably exactly what you should do.


Monday, March 4, 2019

The Invisible Results

                                                  "You will never change your life
                                           until you change something you do daily."
                                                              - John Maxwell

Success doesn't come from doing extraordinary difficult things. It is doing simple things consistently.

Can you loose 50 pounds in a month or two, by going on the newest fad diet? Probably not.

Can you get wealthy simply by playing the lottery, every week? Chances that you will win, are extremely small.

Can you improve one skill by reading a book per year or listening to an educational recording once in a while? I wouldn't think so.

Can you expect to have a wonderful relationship with your spouse, by going out on a "Date Night" once a year? This is not going to happen.

The problem with most people is that they want results right now. A lot of people want to be able to see the results of their actions right away after they start make some new positive choices. Most of the time this doesn't happen and people fall back on making poor choices again.

It seems so easy to be able to make a few positive choices in our lives, so why do people continue to make bad choices?

Here is one trap that will keep you from staying on your path of making positive choices.

In the beginning the results are invisible. While you are making new positive choices or bad choices, the results are invisible. It easy to think that what you are doing doesn't matter. That it won't have an effect on your life. But the truth is that everything matters.

Example: You decide that you are going to live a better and more empowered lifestyle. You have decided to get in shape by walking one mile per day. Most people can walk that distance. You might also decide to park at the back of the parking lot and get a few extra steps in every time you go to a store. You decide to take the stairs instead of the elevator.
You cut back on eating a candy bar per day, or something else that is sweet. You also decided to stop snacking on some chips at work, and you also drink 2 bottles of water per day.
Instead of reading the paper every morning you now read 10-20 pages of a great book instead. And on your way to work you are now listening to an inspirational or educational recording instead of listen to news on the radio, reaffirming everything that you already read in the paper earlier of all the murders, kidnappings, rapes and disasters of the world.
How about a date night a week with your spouse? Maybe placing some more phone calls to family and friends to catch up and show them that you are about them? You save a little bit of money every month, put it away and don't touch. It will slowly add up over the years.
Do you think that you can do this simple plan? Most of us can. No really big changes. No crash diet Just a few new positive choices on a daily base.
This is easy to do.....but also..... easy not to do.

Do you think that you will see immediate results of your new choices? Probably not. You might not see much of any results within many, many months. But what do you think will happen after about 20 - 30 months? All of a sudden you will see a huge change in your life. By cutting back on a few calories per day, and walking one mile per day, you have now lost 30 pounds. By reading many book and listening to educational recording on your way to work, you have now learned new skill, been promoted and are now making quite a bit more money. Your relationship with your spouse is the best it has ever been and you also have great relationships with family members and friends. And you also have a nice little savings account going.

Is this easy to do? Yes, of course it is. But why don't more people do this....since it is so easy?
It takes patience.
Patience to be able to wait for the results. It's easy to quit when the results seem to be invisible.

You have to have patience when you are starting to make some positive choices and you don't see any results. It can become very frustrating, I know. But the answer is that you just have to become patient and allow the compounding effect, to add up and stack up, until down the road you choices seems to have explosive results.

Everything that we do have consequences. Good or bad.

If you instead of making healthy choices on a daily base, you are now instead allowing yourself to slide a little. You miss a couple of work-outs per week, and you have now gained 30 pounds. Or you prefer to watch TV instead of going out on a weekly "Date Night", and your marriage is on the verge of divorce. You ignore making phone calls to your family and friends and they now have become distant. You rather listen to the news and the misery of the world, instead of learning a new skill, and you friend at work got promoted instead of you. You wasted all you money instead of saving it, and now you are close to losing your house to foreclosure.

Every single choice that you make has a an effect on your life, today but also 10-20 years down the road. 
The small little choices that you are making today, good or bad, are making a huge outcome later.