Welcome to part 1 in this 5 Part Series
How to quickly get back on track after life knocks you down
Life happens to all of us. We all go through difficulties, setbacks and loss. Pain is part of life. Many people will allow pain to cripple them and keep them stuck, causing them to miss out on the next chapter of their life.
Life is like a book. There are a lot of chapters to your book. And just because you are reading a painful chapter of your book right now, doesn´t mean that you need to throw the whole book away. Just keep on reading and you will get to better and more interesting chapters. One bad chapter of the book doesn´t mean that it is the end of the book. Just turn the page. The book will get better soon.
Keep on reading.
If you are going through a painful situation right now or have been in the past.Try to find the higher purpose for your pain and suffering. Pain is often associated with a loss of some kind. Loss of a loved one, divorce, move to another city or country, loss of a job, loss of a relationship, financial loss or illness.
It is the loss of your dream for the future. The life you had planned.
It can also be called.... "change we didn´t choose". And since we didn´t choose it, it becomes very difficult to accept and to move on from. But just remember experiences....good or bad.... happens to all of us and we must learn from the experiences and we must learn how to move on.
To get back on track as quickly as possible is very important, because the longer you stay stuck in the past and what could have been or should be, the harder it will be to get going again.
Learn to feel you loss, deal with it and heal it. The faster you can do this the quicker you will find yourself back on track again so that you can continue on your next chapter in life.
You must take charge of your own life and get back on track.
Your pain is never here to stop you.
It is here to develop, prepare and increase you for the grater work that God or The Universe wants you to do in life. The pain that you are experiencing is here to prepare you for the next chapter in your life .....
If you are willing to look at the lesson.
We can create a mission for ourselves and get unstuck. Find the opportunity within the obstacle.
A great quote from Oprah Winfrey ...."Turn your Wounds into Wisdom"
In 2012 my own life totally collapsed¨.
First my mother died in Dec. of 2011. I had to leave a narcissistic abusive relationship in March 2012 and 2 weeks later I returned to Sweden after living in The US for 25 years. (I was born and raised in Sweden)
I had 3 losses happening at the same time and it brought me to my knees.
Fast forward to today, 4 years later. My life looks very different.
I returned to The US in 2013 after spending one year in Sweden. I had decided to go back to school. I was 51 at the time that I went back to school so never think that you are too old to learn and to start something new in your life.
In 2014 I became a certified life coach.
Today I help people take their power back, get their lives back on track and create a better future for themselves. I have an on-line coaching business that allows me to reach people all over the world.
How to quickly get back on track after life knocks you down is my own experience. What I have learned in this process. What has worked and what hasn´t.
I will also share experiences of other people, mentors and coaches. Hopefully what I am about to share will change your life or maybe the life of someone you know.
I don´t know what is going on in your life right now but I hope you will find this information and strategies that I will share with you, useful and that you will share them with others. I want to share with you my experience, the knowledge that I have a acquired, things that have helped me a lot to be able to move forward in my own life.
I encourage you to try it.
You might not need the information today but maybe it can come in handy in the future when stormy weather hits and you need some tools on how to set the sail, navigate the storm and get to calmer waters.
This is a guide on how to take your power back, break free from the past, embrace and step into your new future.
Seek Professional Help & Support
You can not do it alone. You need someone that can shed some light to what is going on in your life.
Someone that will be able to empower you with knowledge and guidance.
In 2010 I had to seek the help from a therapist because my partner was acting very different than he had been doing from the 5 previous years that we had been together. He as acting very strange and I started to feel really bad. I just had this uncomfortable feeling that something wasn´t right but I could not figure out what was going on.
Finally I sought the help from a therapist and today I am so glad I did because she could shed some light on what was going on. She saw things that I could not see and things I would not have known. She quickly figured it out. My partner was narcissistic. I didn´t know what that meant at the time. Today I am so grateful for seeking professional help because if I wouldn't´t have sought help I might not have figured out what was going on so quickly or maybe I would never have gotten the answer at all.
When I came to Sweden in 2012 I quickly sought some new help from professional people. I was seeing 2 coaches at the same time.
I have many good friends but I didn´t want to burden them too much with what was going on. They could listen but sometimes you need a person that can give you knowledge and experience to help you. Friend are good for listening but I didn´t want to put too much pressure on them. Narcissistic abuse is very difficult to understand and my friends did not have the knowledge, but they were and still are.... great listeners and they are very supportive.
Support groups are great.
After 6 months of being in Sweden I joined a support group for abused women. We met twice a month, for 5 months When you have been in an abusive situation you feel alone and often you feel like no one understands what you have gone through. In this support group I didn´t feel alone for the first time. 10 other women understood and it was a great experience to no longer feel alone. When we started the group we all sat around the table crying while sharing our stories. But when we finished, 5 months later we were all on our way to create new chapters in our lives. Great women and a fantastic experience. I learned so much from all the women and their stories. And I hope that while sharing my story, I helped them.
If you can´t find a support group where you live you can find support groups on-line.
"Alone you can do a lot, but together with the right support system, you´ll find that you will accomplish so much more"
Educate Yourself. Get the Facts
When my therapist first told me about narcissism, I had no idea what it was. But I started studying it immediately to educate myself on what I was dealing with.
It is the same thing if you are experiencing the loss of health. You have gotten a disease. You must study the disease and what you can do to make things better. You must first understand what is going on before you can take the appropriate action.
You must first deal with the facts.
When you know and understand.... you can start creating a plan of action.
Learn everything that can about what is going on. The more you know the better off you are. I was reading articles on-line, books and I listened to tele-seminars and webinars about narcissism. Anything that could help me understand what I was going on.
If you are experiencing the death of a loved one, or a financial loss, job loss. There are plenty of books and on-line articles. Learn, study as much as you can. It will help you move along and understanding what is going on. Knowledge is power and it will assist you in taking the right action steps.
The more I read about narcissism the more I understood that I had no choice but to walk away from the relationship. The quicker the better.
I educated myself on the facts, talked to my therapist and my friends and in March of 2012 I walked away from my relationship of almost 8 years and I didn´t look back.
Study....Learn....Read all you can. It will empower you.
Walk Away. Get Out Of Harms Way
If someone or something is hurting you, you must get away.
Don´t stick around because the situation will most likely not get any better.
Today we know that smoking cigarettes will often kill you. So why continue smoking?
If certain food will make you sick, why do you continue to eat it?
If you have high blood pressure or high cholesterol you must change your habits.
Same thing with toxic relationships. If you stick around long enough, it might kill you. Maybe not physically but your soul will slowly die, your dreams and your future.
We must get comfortable with the unknown and with letting go of a toxic relationship or situation. We must steep into the faith that we can create the life that we truly desire as an authentic self.
I knew if my dreams for my future wasn´t going to die, I had to walk away from my narcissistic relationship.
If you have ever been in a destructive relationship, you know that it is very hard to plan for your future because your abuser will keep you so busy with his/her own drama and manipulative crazy-making behavior that it will almost be impossible to be able to create a better future for yourself while you are still in the relationship. My ex made sure that I didn´t have time for myself to create any new plans for my future. Because if I would have had time to think and plan I would have created a new and better future that would not have included him. He would have lost his control over me.
How can you heal a wound if someone is constantly picking at it?
Get out of harms way as quickly as possible so that you can think clearly and heal.
Let go of what isn´t working so that you can engage in what does work.
A lot of time the fear of the suffering is greater that the suffering itself.
Learn to let go.
Get out of harms way and let the healing process begin.
You were not born to play small. You were born to sail. To expand. To grow. To live a bigger brighter version of yourself.
Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for keeping your heart open to what I have shared.
Thank you for spreading the word and sharing with friends and family.
We always have the power to change the direction of our lives, at any time.
See You Tomorrow For Episode Two!
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach