Learn to say NO!
"You can do anything but not everything"
Almost everyone that I talk to or coach today are feeling overwhelmed. Especially women.
Women are the care-takes of a lot of people, including spouses, children, parents, friends and co-workers. Sometimes it gets to be too much and the person that we forget to take care of, and that we most neglect is...... ourselves.
I always ask my coaching clients......
What will happen if you break...... What will happen to all the people that you are taking care of?
Since women seldom have time to take care of themselves and a lot of times will have a tendency to make other people more important than themselves.......their health and wellbeing will eventually be at stake. Which will eventually lead to poor eating habits, poor sleeping patterns, high levels of stress and also addictions.
As women we must learn self-care......and self-care is NOT being selfish.
"You have to learn to say no without feeling guilty. Setting boundaries is healthy.
You need to learn to respect and take care of yourself."
"Learn to say ´No´ to the good so you can say ´Yes´ to the best."
- John Maxwell
Say No to other peoples interruptions and urgencies.
Learn to differentiate between important and urgent tasks.
If you are seeking outside validation and are afraid that people will be angry with you if you say no....you might want to check in with yourself and try to figure out why you are feeling this way.
By the way... if someone doesn´t like you because you say NO to doing something that isn´t important to you ...you might want to consider evaluating your friendship. A true friend will not get angry with you if you tell them no.
If you are seeking outside validation and you brag about your "busyness" you might want to do some soul-searching too.... to find out why you need outside validation to feel good about yourself, instead of validating yourself.
Pay attention to yourself and find out why you are doing these things. Always ask yourself before doing something....
What is my intention for doing this?
Another great tip if someone is asking you to do something that you really don´t want to do or your might suspect that you really don´t have the time to invest in this project. Instead of telling them yes right away when they ask.
Tell them that you want to think about it over night or for a few days and then you will get back with them.
Then sit down and look at your schedule and ask yourself........
Do I really have time for this and what is my intention for wanting to do this?
Everything looks a lot different if you sleep on it and have some time to look it over. Then you can decide on what you want to do.
If you don´t have time, just simply tell them that at this time you don´t feel like there is enough time for you to dedicate to doing this. Tell them that you appreciate that they asked you, but you simply don´t have enough time right now, because you want to to do a great job on the project or the task and right now is not a good time.
People will understand and they will appreciate you for your honesty. And if they don´t and they get mad....maybe it is time to find a new friendship. Obviously that person doesn´t care about YOU, anyway.
And we don´t need people like that around us.
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
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