Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Wherever You Are, Be All There

                                                             "Be here, be present.
                                                               Wherever you are,
                                                                     be there."
                                                              - Willie Nelson

Today I wan to talk about a pattern that most of us are seeing and experiencing more and more of in our lives.

We are having a hard time being present in the moment and we are having a hard time being present with other people.

It's sad to see families eating together, but instead of talking and connecting with each other they are all on different electronic devices.

I see mothers out walking with their children or at the playground and instead of paying attention and being there 100 percent with their child, they are on the phone, talking or texting.

What has happened? Why can't we be present with each other anymore, without constantly looking at our phone or staring at an iPad or a computer?

About a month ago I was in a business meeting with a man in his office. I was there for about an hour. The whole time we were talking he was constantly glancing at his computer screen.
I felt as we were three people in this meeting. Actually I felt more like he didn't really wanted to be there talking to me. This meeting wasn't important to him.

But I also know that his behavior had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. He just wasn't present in the moment. And I would imagine that he is doing this with a lot of other people too.
It's a pattern of behavior. Not a good one, I might add.

Can you imagine when you do this to your child. They don't have the brain capacity to understand that the parents behavior, isn't their fault. Instead they will blame themselves and think that they are not important in their parents life. Maybe they might even feel like they are not lovable, because if they were, their parents would be paying attention to and spend time with them, instead of constantly staring at a screen.
What kind of messages are we sending to our children?

A couple of years ago I remember having dinner with this particular man. We probably met about three times. And every time we sat down to eat, he always made sure that his phone was on the table and that he could see the screen. Ever so often the phone would make a sound, indicating that there was a notification for him. So every time the phone would make a sound, this man would stare at the phone and read the message.
I can understand that if you are expecting an important phone call that you want to keep your phone close to you. But then you need to inform the other person what is going on. That you need to answer the phone when this person is calling you.
You can imagine how much I enjoyed dining out with this man? Well, after doing this for a couple of times, I didn't want to meet with this person anymore. I gave him my undivided attention and I expected the same treatment from him.
Again his behavior had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. My time is precious and I will only spend it with people who appreciate it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my computer and what it can do. I use it almost every day in my business. And I think a cell phone is also a wonderful invention. But too much of anything will wreck havoc in our lives. But what is too much?

What do you think?
Are you spending a lot of time staring at screens, when instead you should be present with other people?

Be Present, Be Mindful, Be There!


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