Monday, November 20, 2017

Take Advice......But Not Orders

                                                 I'm sorry I don't take orders!

Life is filled with challenges.
Challenging situations and also challenging people are everywhere.
Facing challenges and learning how to get through them will make us grow as individuals.
Many people will try to avoid challenges and difficult situations because these situations/people will make them feel very uncomfortable. Of course growth of any kind will makes us feel uncomfortable for a while until we get the hang of it.

A couple of months ago I was facing a difficult situation with a particular person that I had to work with once or twice a week. I only had to spend a short time with this person but she was a little bit on the difficult side. Very negative and pessimistic and also created a lot of drama by gossiping and talking bad about other people.
People like this are all around us.
Anyway this person was giving me a hard time and then she started to accuse me of things that I had not done.

I can deal with negative people creating drama but I have a hard time dealing with people who say things about you that aren't true. This I must learn to get used to because a lot of people will say things that aren't true about you. Often they don't even know you.
This is something that I definitely have to work on. Just learn to ignore certain people and their behavior.

I allowed it to upset me but after a few days I talked to a trusted friend about what had happened. This friend of mine also knows this person real well. We talked about my challenge and she gave me some useful insight. She also told me how she would handle the situation if she was in my shoes.
She never told me how to deal with this person or what to do when it came to dealing with this person. She only told me how she would do it if she had to deal with particular person.

I thanked her for listening and for her advice on how to handle the situation the next time I encountered this person.

That evening I sat down and really thought about how to deal with the situation because I was going to work with this person in a couple of days. How was I going to do it?

I liked my friend's advice but it didn't feel right to me. It felt inauthentic to do what my friend recommended. It might have been the right thing for her but it didn't feel right to me.

A lot of times we will allow other people to tell us what to do. The problem with this is that we are doing what feels right for them but not what feel right for us.
People look at the same challenge or difficulty in many different ways. And the reason for that is that we all have different backgrounds, experiences, knowledge and conditioning.

It's good to ask for advice and a different point of view.
But in the end we must go with the solution or the answer that feels right for us. Otherwise we won't feel good about ourselves and the decision. It might have been good for someone else but for you it might be totally wrong.

And in the end you are the one that is going to have to live with the result of your decision so make sure that the decision is yours. If you go against yourself just to make it easier for someone else you will probably feel disappointed with yourself that you wasn't honest and stuck to your own decision.

So what did I do?

The advice that my friend suggested didn't feel like the right thing for me and I decided to go with a different solution that felt absolutely right to me.
I could not have done what my friend suggested that I do. It felt totally wrong to me.
In the end I wanted to feel happy and OK with myself and what I decided.

So my advice is to be true to yourself.......and everything will be fine.



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