Monday, April 3, 2017

Never Settle In A Setback - Keep On Going!

                                                             "Never settle.
                                 Fight for Life, the Career, the Dreams, the Love
                                                           that you deserve."
                                                             - Mandy Hale

When we are kids or a little younger we believe that anything is possible.
There were never any limits to what we thought we could do or who we wanted to be. Back then we would always dream big dreams.
Then something happens to us. Life takes over and we forget about our dreams, who we wanted to become and all the things that we wanted to accomplish.

Life almost happen for us. Our dream almost happened for us. We almost lost the weight, We almost got our dream job, We almost married the man/woman of our dreams. We have now gotten stuck in an "almost life" and a lot of times..... a very small world. The problem is that we were never created or meant to live a small life or an "almost life." There is not a ceiling on how far we can go. There are never any ceilings in life.

Back to being a kid. Kids are by nature very curious. They can ask a thousand questions. And when they are through asking those thousand questions they have another thousand to ask. Kids are curious and the spend their time in a discovery zone. Very different than a comfort zone, where most of us spend our adult lives. I bet when you were a kid you were very curious and you constantly wanted to learn and discover new things? What happened?

Challenges and problems started coming. They just keep on coming like giant waves of the ocean. If a problem only shoved up maybe every five years.....we would be OK. But not every year and not all the time. It seems like challenges and problems show up all the time. One after another one shows up. It is like being hit by one giant wave and then another and then yet another and then finally the wind is completely knocked out of you. Ever been thru this?

I guess most of you know my own story by now?  In 2012 this is exactly what happened to me. First my mom died - big wave and I barely got up. Then three months later I left an abuse relationship - another big wave. I barely got up. Then two days later I moved back to Sweden after living 25 years in the US - another big wave. All of these waves coming so close together finally knocked me down. I was hit over and over again to the point that I could no longer stand up. I felt like I had been in a severe car-wreck and then I was living on life-support for several months. Time Out!!!
Finally I got back up and here I am stranding five years later.

Disappointments, setbacks and problems can make you feel heartbroken and discouraged and it feels like the wind has been knocked out of you. You feel sick to your heart and that is not good, because happiness, love, joy and peace also comes from the heart.

A lot of people will have setbacks in their lives. It can be a death of a loved one, job loss, financial loss, divorce or a physical setback like an illness. When most people experience a setback it is a natural thing to take a step back. A setback and then a step back. But after a few setbacks and stepping back too many times you will find yourself so far away from the real you and you might decide to sit and stay in your setback.

It is OK to step back for a week, month or a year. But five years? or even ten years?
Unfortunately some people will settle in their setback. "You don't know the hell I have been through!".....Come On.....we all have been through hell at some point or another in our lives. Setbacks and problems happens to all of us. If you are going through hell right now.....keep on going. Don't stay there and don't start living there. Don't sit and Don't settle.

Sometimes life will knock the sh*t out of you and then a lot of people will settle and feel sorry for themselves. You nurse your wounds and then you tell everybody you know about your wounds and sometimes you will even tell people on the street (people that you don't know)..... you sad story. In other words you have made a habit of rehearsing your story constantly.

You can't stay stuck. You must keep on moving. Make yourself feel alive again - even if you are not always in the mood. You must get you groove back. Some people have cemented themselves in a setback. Constantly telling everyone their sad story. "I would have had a good life if it hadn't been for my terrible childhood" or I would have had a great life it would not have been for my first husband who constantly put me down." Stop sitting, stop settling and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Knowing that while you are feeling the pain of your setback..... the Universe as already planning and preparing your comeback. Believe that your comeback is on its way. Remember that a comeback is never a goback. You can never go back and try to fix things. That is already in the past and you must forget about it. You learn from it but you must never dwell on it. You can never go back and try to fix people and situations. Let it go so you can open yourself to all the new things that are planned and that are about to happen for you. Get inspired about your life..... it is about to become incredible!

If you have ever had surgery or maybe been in an accident you will end up in the hospital. When the crisis is over they will move you to the recovery room. Same thing in life. You had a setback and it feels a little like being in a car wreck. It takes a little while for your head to clear. After your head has cleared you will be moved to recovery. The thing can't stay in recovery for the rest of your life. Recovery is only when we are being healed from something. As we are healing from something we must also be in the discovery zone. If you are being healed from an illness you must learn everything about it so it won't happen again. Or if you are recovering from a financial setback, study and learn, so it won't happen again. It doesn't matter what your setback you recover you must at the same time discover. Even though you are being healed you must learn to live a life fully present, fully feeling and also fully alive.

I remember back in 2012 I was learning a lot about narcissistic abuse. I wanted to learn as much as possible so I did not have to ever experience that kind of pain ever in my life again. At the same time I wanted to learn about myself and how my brain works and why we do the things we do as human beings. I have been studying psychology, myself and personal development ever since.
If we are feeling sorry for ourselves we cannot be a change agent for someone else.

Why did I become a life coach?..... Why do I now write books?..... Why do I write weekly newsletters and blogs?..... and why do I care?
Because I have been through my own hell, my own pain and confusion and I don't want anyone else to have to go through what I went through. I can't leave people in their hell and their pain and their confusion.
We all go through stuff in our lives but the good thing is that what I have been through has not left me bitter - It left me better.

Never settle in a setback - Keep on Going. It is time to pump up the volume of your life.
Get ready for your comeback!

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

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