Friday, September 4, 2015

Are You a Perfectionist?

Another great book......This one is by Brene Brown.....Daring Greatly

The courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead.

Today I am going to share some words from the book. It is about perfectionism.

Like vulnerability, perfectionism has accumulated around it a considerable mythology. I Think it's helpful to start by looking at what perfectionism isn't:

- Perfectionism is not the same thing as excellence. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is a defensive move. It is the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around, thinking it will protect us, when in fact it's the thing that really preventing us from being seen.

- Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievements and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted the dangerous and debilitating belief system: "I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect." Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think? Perfectionism is a hustle.

- Perfectionism is not the key to success. In fact, research shows that perfectionism hampers achievement. Perfectionism is correlated with depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralyzing or missed opportunities. The fear of failing, making mistakes, not meeting people's expectations, and being criticized keeps us outside of the arena where healthy competition and striving unfolds.

- Last, perfection is not a way to avoid shame. Perfectionism is a form of shame. Where we struggle with perfectionism, we struggle with shame.
                                                                                                           by Brene Brown

It is a great book if you want to learn about vulnerability. To be vulnerable its to dare greatly.
The book is based on 12 years of  research by Dr. Brene Brown. She dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is a weakness and argues that it is in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.

Great Book.

                                            Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

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