So often we tote our unforgiveness around like baggage and it gets very heavy. Every day we spend time thinking and dwelling on all the people that have hurt us in the past.
I heard Wayne Dyer say once....... Your past is like bags of manure...you drag them around with you every day and when you are getting older those bags become quite heavy. In those bags you put memories of all the people that did you wrong, treated you badly, talked badly about you, betrayed you, didn't support you...etc.
Every day these bags get heavier and heavier and ever so often we put them down and open them up. Grab some of that manure from the inside .....and smear it all over ourselves... and then we wonder why our lives stink so bad????
Lets' face it...all of us have been treated badly and betrayed in our lives by people we knew and also by strangers. But we must learn to let it go.
To be able to live in the present moment and to make most of our day, we must learn to forgive the people that have hurt us in the past. Too often we try to collect out debt from other people. When someone hurts us, we feel like they owe us. Somebody should pay for that pain we have suffered. Unfortunately the person that you are taking out your anger and resentments on, didn't have anything to do with your past and what happened to you.
This is what happens when you are trapped in the past. You are always trying to collect those debts. You will keep on taking it out on people even though they were never involved.
I once was in a relationship with a man for many years. He was so angry with his own mother and he was trying to collect that debt from every woman that he had been in a relationship with his whole life. He was never able to have a good relationship with a women because he was mistreated by his mother, growing up.
Every time he got into a new relationship, he tried to make every woman pay him back for old injustices, inflicted by someone else. He was trying to collect a debt he felt was owed to him.
The only problem was.... he was never going to be able to collect that debt and he failed at every relationship he had ever been in. He was always dragging is things from the past into our relationship and tried to punish me for something that had happened to him when he was growing up. Finally I had to walk away and end our relationship. It was absolutely impossible to remain in a relationship with this man. His bitterness and resentment was consuming him every day. Not a good way to live.
Instead, try to start each day afresh and anew, especially in your family relationships and with your intimate partners. Each morning forgive the people who have hurt you. Let go of the disappointments. Don't allow little things to build up. Don't harbor resentment, anger and unforgiveness. Don't play silly games and don't allow a bitter attitude to build up. If you do and you are not careful it will poison your life and cause you major problems.
Also make sure that every morning you always forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you have made, and also let go of your disappointments and setbacks. What is done is done. It is in the past....and you can't change the past. Just learn form it and move on!
Today, focus on your possibilities. Ask yourself.....What is Possible for me today? Be excited because you just got a brand new day. It is a gift. Focus on what you can change rather than what you can't change.
Be grateful. Not everyone woke up to a brand new day, today.
Move on and know that all things are going to work together for your good. If you know that you have done your best and some things can't be fixed....you must simply leave them behind and move on. Promise yourself to never dwell on the past. Forgive everyone and start this brand new day by saying;
I am grateful for this brand new day and I know something wonderful is going to happen today. Thank You!
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach