"I define connection as the energy that exists between people
when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive
without judgement and when they derive sustenance and strength from
- Brene Brown
Do you feel seen, heard and valued by the people closest to you?
One of the most important experiences we can give another person is visibility. I see you. I hear you and what you say and do matters to me.
The experience of being seen is a deep human need, and it is in our closest relationships where we meet this need. The more we share these kind of moments, the stronger and more resilient our relationship become.
We want to know that the other person cares about us. That they see us, that they hear us and we want to feel and know that we matter.
"Can you see me?
Can you hear me?
Does anything I say mean anything to you?"
- Oprah Winfrey
Now, I want you to take a good look at yourself and be totally honest. Are you being present with the people closest to you? Are you making them feel seen, heard and valued?
What do you do when someone that you are close to, is talking to you? Are you looking at them and being present in the moment, 100 percent? Or are you looking at your phone, the TV or Facebook?
What do you do when you are in a meeting with someone and they are sitting opposite you at the desk. Are you looking at them and being involved in the conversation? Or are you staring at you computer screen, your cell phone or your watch?
People can sense and they can see right away if you are not paying attention to them and to the conversation.
What do you do when you are talking to someone on the phone? Are you paying attention to what is being said? Or are your surfing the internet, doing the dishes or looking through a magazine?
Just because the other person can't see you doesn't mean that they can't sense that you are not paying attention to them and to what is being said. At this moment you are not making the other person feel seen and heard.
How are you going to act the next time someone that you care about is asking for your attention?
Are you going to be there with them 100 percent? Are you going to make them feel seen, heard and valued?
Just keep in mind that the next time someone is asking to be seen, heard and valued....it might be you. You want to feel that you matter to someone. How are you going to feel if that person is ignoring you? They are listen to you while they are staring at their phone or the TV.
At this time would you feel seen and heard? And would you feel like you matter to this other person?
We all want to be seen. We all want to be heard. We all want to matter.