Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Are You Trying To Stay Safe From Pain?

                                    "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls"

Are you trying to stay safe from pain?

If you are..... I have bad news for you. No one will escape pain. It doesn't matter who you are and where you live in this world. Pain is all around us and trying to avoid it will only lead to more pain.

Pain often feels like a hole in our soul. And then we try to fill this hole with all kinds of unhealthy habits or substances in order to suppress our feelings and avoid being ourselves for awhile. We are pushing the pain down to be dealt with later. But when later comes around we just continue to fill the hole yet again. Unfortunately we will continue to fill the hole with things that won't fill us up. We stay hungry for more and more and more. It's like a bottomless pit.

Instead of trying to avoid the pain by numbing out through some kind of addiction or addictive behavior.....stop for a moment and take a good look at the pain. It is there to tell you something. There is always a message in every problem or crisis and if you are willing to stop and learn from the lesson you might be surprised what you can learn.
Our Pain Has A Purpose.
If you missed Monday's blog you can click on the link below and read it.

Sometimes you will hear people talking about that their biggest pain and suffering was the greatest thing that ever happened to them. It woke them up. They stopped or slowed down for a moment and then they started to pay attention to what was going on in their body and their mind. They went inside and started to look at what was causing all the pain that they were experiencing.
It doesn't matter if it's actual physical pain or emotional pain. Pain is pain.

Then these people started to look back at their lives and examined where they might need to make some changes. It might have been in their relationships. Maybe they were spending 40 hours a week, at a job that they absolutely hated. Maybe they were workaholics and trying to feel important by working too much. Only feeling good when people needed them. Maybe some people couldn't say no to their parents and that caused a lot of problems in their marriage. Maybe they just stayed "busy" doing nothing and never accomplished anything. Some people just needed to learn to be able to say "NO" and take care of themselves. I think you get my point.

Anyway they turned their worst pain and suffering into the greatest thing ever in their life. They did this by going inside and doing the internal work that is often required to understand the pain and suffering in our lives.
Like Oprah says....."Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom"

I just want to tell you a little about my own life. Back in 2012 my whole life fell apart. First my mom died in the end of Dec 2011. Three months later I walked away from an abusive relationship and 3 days later I left the US where I had lived for the past 25 years and returned to Sweden where I was born and raised. Three huge losses at the same time. A lot to handle at the time.

Looking back on it now..... over 5 years later....I realized that it was time for me to wake up. I had been sleep waking through my life. Slowly losing myself . Finally the pain became too hard to handle and I had to stop and take a good look at myself, my life and my own behavior. No easy task. But all change and transformation has to start from within.

Has it been easy?.....No.
A lot of study and a lot of hard work.
Am I sorry I started it?..... No way.
My pain could not have been avoided any longer. It had to deal with it.

But today I can also say that is was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was a wake-up call from my own soul, letting me know that I had taken a huge detour in my life and that it was time to find myself again and to make some changes.

Without this experience I would probably not have become a life coach and started my own coaching business. I would not have written my first book.....Bounce Don't Break.....because it tells the story about pain that I experienced and how I transformed it. Without the experience I could not have written the book.
Doing the inner work has helped me understand myself better. My parents, my brother and other people around me. It has taught me how to forgive and let go of the past. By doing all this work (and I guess I will do it until I take my last breath because it is so much to learn) I can now better understand the people that I help through my coaching business.

Breakthroughs of all kinds usually are proceeded by a crisis or a Divine storm. The greater the crisis the greater the opportunity for growth and advancement. Out of confusion comes order. A higher degree of order than existed prior to the confusion. It's a wake-up call that the path you are on is not the right path for you. You have taken a detour. The crisis is trying to get us back onto our own track.

We need not to fear the changes. Step into the unknown and have what it takes to handle the crisis in your life. 


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