Friday, October 30, 2015

Stop Staying Stuck in Disempowering Relationships and Situations

Is there something in your life that you are unhappy with right now?

How long have you been feeling unhappy about it?

Why haven´t you done anything about it?

If you don´t like it........Change it!!!!!

Stop expecting other people, situations or circumstances to be a certain way so that you can be the way you want to be.

 I was married to an alcoholic for 16 years and I was always waiting for him to change. Well, that didn't  happen. In relationships we often want the other person to change to make us feel a certain way. In other words we are making the another person responsible for the way we feel.
That is giving that other person a lot of power.
You are basically saying....I can´t feel a certain way unless you change.
We can´t make other people change. Only they can.
We can only change OURSELVES.

Lets take happiness as an example. I can only be happy if someone changes their behavior or treats me a certain way. I can only be happy if I have more money. I can only be happy if I am in a relationship. I can only be happy if I lose 25 pounds. We are allowing something "out there" to decide for us, when we can be happy.
Here is the truth...You and only YOU are responsible for your own happiness.

Instead of wanting the other person to change we might want to ask ourselves......Why am I staying in a loveless relationship with a person that obviously is having a problem with an addiction and doesn´t treat me well?  Why am I allowing this person to control the way I feel? Why am I not doing anything to try to change the situation? (Hard questions I had to ask myself)

                               "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
                                                            - Eleanor Roosevelt

The same thing can be said about circumstances.
Right now I am living in Sweden. Well...if you have never lived here ...let me tell you about the weather....It isn´t that great. Of course if  you like a lot of rainy and gloomy days and don´t want it too be might be a perfect place for you.
I happen to love sunshine and warm weather. But since I am here right now  I can´t stop doing things and waiting to do them until the sun pops out. I would be waiting around for a long time. (especially this time of the year.)

Your circumstances are the way they are right now. But if you don´t like them......start taking some action steps today that will change your circumstances. You might not be responsible for why you ended up in this situation Sometimes things happen that we have no power over. But you can absolutely control how you deal with the situation and the action you are taking to change them.

Stop staying stuck in disempowering situations, relationships, thought patters and bad habits.

Stop waiting for somebody or something "out there" to change.... before you can feel a certain way.

You are in control....You can change today!

You just have to decide that you want to change.

                                         Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

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