Monday, February 9, 2015

Why People Critisize other People

I am sure that you all have heard the saying 'nurses make the worst patients'?

Well... sometimes as a life coach, I don't follow my own coaching tips. It isn't that I don't think that my tips aren't good. Instead sometimes I react to other peoples opinions and comments. In other words... I allow their agenda and unhappiness to become my own. Not a good idea, especially if the person that is talking to you is actually criticizing you.

Last week this to happen to me.

I am in the middle of planning and putting together a new video project for YouTube together with a good friend of mine. It is going to start in March. It is going to be about 'Women Empowering Women'. We are both so excited about our project.
Last week we attended a business networking meeting and we announced it to our fellow networkers because we had a question and we needed some input. We also wanted to spread the word about our new project.

Instead of positive feedback..... we got something totally different tossed at us....CRITISISM.... by the person in charge of this event. He totally put down our project and made is sound like it wasn't very important.

We both felt disbelief in what had just happened and I have to admit, that we left the event feeling somewhat discouraged about our own project.

'Maybe this project wasn't as good as we thought it was going to be? Maybe we are just wasting our time trying to make a difference? Maybe we need to come up with a better idea'.......??????

I thinks you understand what is going on here.....

We allowed someone else's opinion to doubt ourselves and our project.

I agree that constructive criticism is a positive thing....and it will allow you to grow as a person...
but this wasn't that kind of criticism. Sad to say most criticism is not intended to build up another person, quite the opposite. It's  is given with a intentional sting.
Such criticism is a reflection of the critic than of the person being criticized.

Everyone of us will have times when we are criticized, sometimes fairly, but more often unfairly. Unwanted criticism is most often based on jealousy. It stems from a competitive spirit. You have something somebody else wants.

Instead of being happy for you, keeping a good attitude. Knowing that they too can have what you got, jealousy rises up in the critical person. They try to cover their own insecurities by being critical, cynical, or snippy towards others.

The more successful you are, the more criticism you will encounter. Unfortunately, not everyone will celebrate your victories with you.

Some people let negative words or other people's opinions totally ruin their lives.

To live to please other people and by trying to keep everyone happy - is exhausting and it will make you very unhappy. And face it......some people don't want to be happy.

Not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to accept you and you can't keep everybody happy.

Some people will find fault ...NO Matter What. Yes... we should be kind and loving, but don't spend too much time trying to please somebody who is impossible to please.

Until they deal with their own issues.....they will never be happy.

But the funny part of this whole incident is.......
The day before the networking event I had just recorded my 'Coaching Tip of the Week' .....and it is going to be posted on YouTube this coming Wednesday. The topic of the Coaching Tip....
How to Deal with Criticism..... I am giving 3 tips on how to deal with this issue.

The funny part is..... I didn't follow my #1 Tip - Don't Take Anything Personally....

I guess I have some more work to do on myself.....because I sure did allow it to get under my skin for several hours and I wasted productive time and energy on this really silly issue.

Please remember to go to my Blog on Wednesday to find my tips on how to handle criticism.

In the meantime......

"Don't allow some narrow minded people discourage you from taking it all the way or reaching the top."                                                                      - Mary Kay Ash

Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach


  1. Replies
    1. I am not sure that my first reply went through. Thanks for your comment and please watch our series when it starts next month. Karin

  2. Oh my gosh, Karin. This was so good. I too have been criticized by someone that just didn't "get" what I did for a living. Your video series will be great and is soooo very needed by women in the networking world for sure. We are very hungry for this. As women we need to empower each other. Your videos will be a hit. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Please promote this and so will I. Gratefully coming to you from a sucessful, entreprenural, business woman, Trish - Colors Matter

    1. Hi Trish, good to hear from you. Thanks for your feedback and encouraging words. Yes....women need to empower each other. We need stories and inspiration from women that have refused to give up and also refused the status quo in their lives. Please watch our series starting next month and spread the word. Hope to see you soon! Karin