Be An Active Listener

                                  Every good conversation starts with good listening

The most valuable gift we can give someone is our undivided attention and being able to be an active listener.
So how do we do this? 

The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. 

We listen to reply.

Active listening is the practice of preparing to listen, observing what verbal and non-verbal messages are being sent, and then providing appropriate feedback for the sake of showing attentiveness to the message being presented. Active listening is listening on purpose. Active listening is fully being in engaged while another person is talking to you. It is listening with the intent to understand the other person fully, rather than listening to respond.  

"You can not truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time." 

- M. Scott peck

Rule #1

Listen without interrupting. When someone wants to talk to you, you must put aside all distractions. Turn off the TV, computor or radio. Put down the newspaper and turn off your cell phone. Face the other person directly and concentrate 100% on what the other person is saying.


Rule #2

Pause before replying. Take a few seconds to carefully consider what the other person has said. When you pause you are avoiding the risk of interrupting the other person if he/she is just reformulating their thoughts.


Rule #3

Never assume that you you know what the other person is thinking or feeling. If you are unclear simply ask "can you explain some more?" or "how do you mean?" when you are seeking clarity you are demonstrating to the other person that you really care about what he/she is saying and also that you are interested in understanding how the other person thinks and feels.


Rule #4

Is for you to feed back what the other person has said. This is where you are letting the other person know that you are paying attention. When you repeat back what the other person has just said, in your own words, you prove to him/her that you were really listening. "did I hear you right, when you said?" 

"Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, 

spirit over ego, others over self." 

- Dean Jackson

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