In today's blog I want to let you know about a fantastic book that I just finished reading.
Getting the love that you want......... by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
It was originally published in 1988 and it provides a road map for partners seeking a path to intimacy and passionate friendship.
In today's society, you are encouraged to view marriage as a box. First you choose a mate. Then you climb into a box. Once you have a chance to settle in, you take your first close look at your boxmate. If you like what you see, you stay put. If you don't, you climb out of the box and scout around for another mate. In other words, marriage is viewed as an unchanging state, and whether or not it works depends upon your ability to attract a good partner. The common solution to an unhappy marriage, the one chosen by nearly fifty percent of all couples, is to divorce and start all over again with a new and, it is hoped, better mate.
The problem with this solution is that there are a lot of pain involved in switching boxes. There is the agony of dividing up children and possessions and putting aside treasured dreams. There is the reluctance to risk intimacy again, fearing that the next relationship, too, might fail. And there is the emotional damage to the other inhabitants of the box-the children-who grow up feeling responsible for the divorce and wonder if they will ever experience lasting love.
Unfortunately, the only alternative many people see to divorce is to stay in the box, tighten the lid, and put up with a disappointing relationship for the rest of their lives. They learn to cope with an empty marriage by filling themselves up with food, alcohol, drugs, activities, work, television, and romantic fantasies, resigned to the belief that their longing for and intimate love will never be realized.
In this book I propose a more hopeful and, I believe, more accurate view of love relationships. marriage is not a static state between two unchanging people. Marriage is a psychological and spiritual journey that begins in the ecstasy of attraction, meanders through a rocky stretch of self-discovery, and culminates in the creation of an intimate, joyful, lifelong union. Whether or not you realize the full potential of this vision depends not on your ability to attract the perfect mate, but on your willingness to acquire knowledge about hidden parts of yourself. by Harville Hendrix
Read this book....
It will teach you a lot about yourself. Even if you are a single person and not in a relationship right now ......you will learn a lot and you will understand why you have reacted the way you have in the past and learn new ways of thinking and doing things.
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach