without some kind of dark night of the soul."
- Sam Keen
Have you ever heard the expression "The dark night of the soul"?
What is it?
It is a term that goes back a long time.
The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die.
Often it is an awakening process. The death of the old self and the birth of the true self.
It can be triggered by an external event such as a disaster, the death of someone close to you or a life that you have planned that suddenly collapses.
Some kind of disaster which seem to invalidate the meaning that your life had before.
Nothing makes sense anymore and there´s no purpose to anything.
The dark night of the soul is a kind of re-birth.
You are losing your old identification. Your previous identity is lost and you don´t yet have an identification of what is new and what is emerging.
You are in the dark. You don´t know where you are and where you are going.
Like feeling lost in the darkness of a forest. You can´t go back and you don´t know which path to follow. Or maybe there isn´t even a path. You have to make your own.
You remember who you used to be, but you know that you are not that person anymore.
Who are you becoming? You don´t know that either, at this point.
It is dark and it is painful. Very painful.
The dark night is filled with fear and disconnect.
Why is it so painful?
Because you are getting rid of the old. (Like a snake shedding its skin).
The Universe is pushing you. Giving you pain until you can articulate a new vision and purpose for your life.
"Soul work is not a high road.
It is a deep fall into an unforgiving darkness
that won´t let you go until you find the song that sings you home."
The old life is no longer who you are. Your new vision for your life is what you are becoming.
The pain will keep on pushing you until you will get pulled by a bigger vision for your life.
You were actually on the wrong path in your old life and that is why it was giving you so much pain.
(When your life path is starting to hurt you, you are on the wrong path.)
And it got worse and worse until you could not take it anymore and you had to enter the dark night of the soul.
The pain is forcing you into having a vision.
A vision that is bigger than the pain.
When you are beginning to have a vision of what is possible for your life you will start to get pulled by it.
When you can describe and embrace your vision you can start to walk in that direction.
You can start to align yourself with what is possible for your life instead of remaining on a path that was never meant for you in the first place.
Instead of being stuck you can now walk in the direction of your potential and your possibilities.
When you start walking the path of your true purpose, The Universe doesn´t need to hit you with pain as much.
Yes...I have experienced this.
In 2012 I went through the dark night of the soul. It started with my mother´s death in late December of 2011 and then the collapse of a 8-year relationship with a narcissist in March of 2012. And to top it of I had to return to Sweden April 2012, after living 25 years in The US. I had built up a life, a lot of plans, activities and dreams and it all collapsed.
For me.... the dark night of the soul was filled with tremendous pain. I felt like I had gotten side swiped by a freight train and left bleeding on the side of the track. The pain was excruciating and no one could help me.
You feel like you would do anything to get out of this state, but it will take the time it will take.
You feel totally alone. You have friends but most of them are not capable of feeling what you are feeling or knowing what you are going through..
What helped me to get through the dark night of the soul was that I had learned about it before it happened. So when It did happen I was a little more prepared.
But what I wasn´t prepared for was how painful it actually was and how disconnected I felt.
But what happened after spending a couple of months in Sweden I came up with a new meaning and vision for my life. I was going to become a life coach.
I had always loved psychology but I never pursued that particular path when I was younger. But now I had a second shot at it, by becoming a life coach.
I started my own on-line coaching business over 3 years ago. I turned my "Wounds into Wisdom" my breakdown (dark night of the soul) lead to my breakthrough.
I would never have been able to learn and grow this much if I would have remained where I was in 2012.
Challenges will activate the potential in you.
The dark night of the soul is a very difficult time but it is a time for marvelous growth.
You hang on and you persist through the dark night of the soul because you can´t conceive going back to your old ways of life. That would be like going back to prison.
The dark night of the soul is about transformation.
Leaving the old and entering a higher consciousness and your true nature.
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
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