Learn To Forgive

                                           "Holding a grudge is letting someone live
                                                         rent-free in your head."


A lot of times we will allow our wounds from the past to bleed into our future.
We must learn to heal those wounds once and for all if we are going to be able to live a happy and fulfilled life. But often people will bond with their wounds from their childhood and the past. Most of our unhealed wounds come from parents, siblings and ex-lovers.

We must learn to forgive others and ourselves so that we can let go and move on with our lives.

If you missed Monday's blog.....here it is.....Close The Wound
http://karinglannstam.blogspot.se/2017/06/close-wound.html


Today I want to talk about forgiveness.
I read a fantastic book this month and the name of it is .....
The Book of Forgiving.....written by Desmond & Mpho Tutu.

In this book they talk about that if we don't forgive a person we will be chained to them for the rest of our lives. As long as we have hatred and anger towards this person that hurt us we will remain in prison and they will be the prison guard that will continue to hold the key to our happiness.

When we forgive we are taking back the control in our lives. The control over our destiny, our feelings and emotions. In other words..... we set ourselves free. We don't forgive to help the other person. We don't forgive because of others. We forgive to make ourselves feel better and to be able to move on with our own lives. We are helping ourselves.
When we can let things go..... we become free from the past instead of being chained to it forever.

As long as we can't forgive we will remain in our own pain and also in prison.

Forgiveness will sooth depressions, give us renewed hope and it will it make the anger go away.
To hang on to rage and bitterness and to constantly live with stress can hurt our bodies as well as our souls and our spirits.

Fantastic book.....I recommend reading it..... even if you don't feel like you need to forgive anyone.

The Book of Forgiving by Desmond & Mpho Tutu.
(Swedish title is Förlåtelse.)

                                       Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

                                                        www.karinglannstam.com

Close The Wound

                                        "Our most common unhealed core wounds are usually
          sourced from the relationships we had with our parents, siblings, and ex-lovers."
                                                            - don Mateo Sol


Last week I got stung by a bee for the first time in many years. It hurt a little when it happened but then I didn't pay much attention to it. The next day my whole lower arm was red, swollen and warm to the touch. This bee sting made me feel quite uncomfortable for many days and I wanted it to heal  quickly so that I could go back to feeling" normal" again.
About a week later it is almost gone except a little redness and some itching.

I guess you are wondering where I am going with this story about being stung by a bee?

Let's say that instead of a bee sting I got a cut on my arm. It was bleeding some and it hurt for a while. In a short while after getting this cut, the wound on my arm would try to close up and to heal. It is a very natural process.

If the cut didn't heal and close up it would soon cause all kinds of trouble. The disease process would begin and soon it would have started an infection..... if the wound or cut would continue to stay open.
If a cut or a wound never would close up.....than the person would eventually die if the infection spread to the rest of the body.

The natural tendency for a wound would be to close up and heal. Same thing with the bee sting that I got. After about a week the spot where I got stung has almost returned to normal.

Now let us look at the same thing more in the spiritual and the psychological dimension.
Most of us get wounded from our childhood.....and from our past. We were abused, abandoned, neglected. We weren't feeling loved and not taken care of. We sometimes even felt that we were taken advantage of. Our parents were maybe alcoholics, drug-abusers or gamblers. Maybe some were poor and maybe they were rich or whatever it was.....we all have this stuff in our past..... and the funny thing is that a lot of us will bond to it.

Sometimes we might use these old wounds from the past to get attention or we use it for pity and a lot of people will lead with their wounds.
When we meet someone new, it won't be long before we know that they weren't loved by anyone. They will tell us right away. Or maybe they were abused as a child. Their husband/wife left them for someone else. Their father/mother was an alcoholic and that is now why they are also an alcoholic.
I am sure that you have met someone in your life that immediately after you met them for the first time they started telling you all about how miserable their life is and how unfairly they had been treated by others.

It doesn't matter what it is..... but some people will keep holding on to these wounds and one of the reasons that we don't heal in our lives and why we don't manifest what we desire is because we are attached to these things in our past rather than saying to ourselves and others.....

"Whatever happened to me in the past, whatever lesson, I have learned from it.....I now got it!
I got the lesson.
And now since I got the lesson I no longer need to be attached to it and I can now stop and remove the poison from my body. I refuse to allow it to continue to spread in my body like a huge infection and preventing me from healing. I decide to let it go because I want to close the wound forever.
I want to heal."

Most people whose lives are not fulfilled with the things that they would like to see manifest in their lives are experiencing this..... because they are in the past hanging on to their wounds and refusing to allow them to heal. They keep on re-opening the same wound over and over again.

You hear a lot of people talking about their past and their old wounds. For example you might hear them say
"How can you talk to me about this when you don't understand the pain I have suffered in my life." "How can you possible say this after you know what I have been through as a child."
"You want me to forgive him?......I was only a child. I didn't do anything wrong."

If you don't do this to yourself you will do it others..... and it comes from this idea that all of us are entitled to a perfect childhood. What is a "Perfect" childhood anyway???

No one escapes their childhood without being wounded. But our parents, siblings, teachers and friends did their best. They didn't mean to wound us.

Back in 2012 after leaving a narcissistic abusive partner (that I had been in a relationship with for over 7 years), I was trying to understand what would make a person do something so mean and ugly to another person. I flooded my brain with information from books and articles about narcissism and narcissistic abuse.  I listened to webinars and teleseminars about other people's experiences. I wanted to understand on a deeper level. I had been terribly wounded by the behavior of this person and I wanted to understand why he did what he did. I craved answers and I wanted to know so that I could later heal and then let it go.
It was during this year that the idea of having my own coaching business got started and in 2013 my idea became my new reality. I started my own coaching business. My experience has made my a lot stronger and I can now understand people on a lot deeper level than I would have been able to do if I had not gone through what I did for many years.
Because of what I went through I now have knowledge and experiences that are priceless. And all the knowledge that I have accumulated through books, webinars, other people and online articles has made it possible for me to understand and close the wounds of my past.

The fact is whatever you needed to go through in your life in order to get the lessons why you are here, you went through. And as you look back on all those things you can either say to yourself.....
"They taught me to be stronger" or you can say "Poor me" and continue to bleed with your wounds and keep them open.
If you continue to keep the wound open you it will eventually prevent you from ever feeling worthy of anything good in your life.

Close The Wound.....And Let It Go!

                                      Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                       www.karinglannstam.com

Check Out This Book.....See You At The Top.....By Zig Ziglar

                                       "What lies behind us and what lies before us
                                    are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
                                                     - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Today I want to mention a great book by Zig Ziglar......See You At The Top.

In this book Zig Ziglar talks writes about how to improve your self-image, goals, attitude, your relationship with others, work and desire. The is also a chapter in the book about the power of your subconscious mind. Great Book.


Do you have a target or a goal? You must have a goal because it's just as difficult to reach a destination you don't have, as it is to come back from a place you have never been..    
     Unless you have definite, precise, clearly set goals, you are not going to realize the maximum potential that lies within you.
     You'll never make it as a "wandering generality." you must be a "meaningful specific." What about you and your goals? Are they clearly in focus, or still pretty fuzzy?
     A man or a woman without a goal is like a ship without a rudder. Each will drift and not drive. Each will end up on the beaches of despair, defeat and despondency. John Henry Fabre, the great French naturalist, conducted a most unusual experiment with some Processionary Caterpillars. These caterpillars blindly follow the one in front of them. Hence, the name. Fabre carefully arranged them in a circle around the rim of a flower pot, so that the lead caterpillar actually touched the last one, making a complete circle. In the center of the flower pot he put pine needles, which is food for the Processionary Caterpillar. The caterpillars started around this circular flower pot. around and around they went, hour after hour, day after day, night after night. For seven full days and seven full nights they went around the flower pot. Finally, the dropped dead of starvation and exhaustion. With and abundance of food less than six inches away, the literally starved to death, because they confused activity with accomplishment.
     Many people make the same mistake and as a result reap only a small fraction of the harvest life has to offer. Despite the fact that untold wealth lies within reach, they acquire very little of it because they blindly, without question, follow the crowd in a circle to nowhere. They follow methods and procedures for no other reason than, "it's always been done this way."

From.... See You At The Top ....by Zig Ziglar

                                        Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                   www.karinglannstam.com

Never Underestimate Your Long-Term Power

                                                    "The longer you hang in there,
                        the greater the chance that something will happen in your favor.
                                                    No matter how hard it seems,
                                the longer you persist, the more likely your success."
                                                            - Jack Canfield

Lord give me patience.....and give it to me right now!!!

Are you running out of patience when it comes to getting your business going?
Or trying to get out of debt and putting some money away?
You are not losing the weight and getting in shape is taking a lot longer than you expected?
How about your relationships.....are they where you want them to be?

Are you telling yourself that you are doing all the right things and still it doesn't happen for you?
You don't see any results and for every day that goes by you are feeling more and more frustrated and you are now wondering if it will ever happen for you at all?

Don't worry. You are not alone in feeling this way.

Don't make yourself wrong and stop beating yourself up because you don't think that you are working hard enough or doing the right things, because you are not seeing the results that you are after.

It takes time.

A lot of people will overestimate what they can do in a short period of time and they underestimate what they can do in 5-10 years.
It takes time to create and to build something. You can call it.....Lag time, the provision of conditions for growth and development. How about preparation time or another great word is incubation time.

Just because you didn't get it when you wanted it...doesn't mean that you won't get it.

God's delay is not God's denial.

What we do know is that the world will step aside and let you by when you are determined and you won't give up.
The world will move with those who will persist forever and that are flexible in their approach and not getting stuck in going the same thing day in and day out.
If you have faith and trust and act on that trust the world will move for you.

It will happen for you. Maybe not as fast as you want it to.....but it will happen.

Never underestimate your long-term power and your potential.

                                        
                                 Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                   www.karinglannstam.com

There Will Be Great Frustration On The Road To Any Success

                                           "Frustration, although quite painful at times,
                                       is a very positive and essential part of success."
                                                            - Bo Bennet

Have you ever felt frustrated?

I think most of us have..... at some point of our lives. I know I definitely have. And a lot of times.

Frustration - The feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.

What part of your life do you feel frustrated about?
Is it in your relationships? Your new business is not taking off as planned? You don't seem to be able to shake off the 15 pounds that you have put on during the last 2 years? Don't seem to be able to attract the right people into your life?

I know that frustration comes and goes and I also know that if you are trying to create something great in your life you are going to feel frustrated on your road to success.

Today I want to recommend a great book written by Tony Robbins.
I guess most of you know that Tony is a mentor of mine. I have never met him and I have not attended any of his seminars yet, but I hope to do so sometime in the near future. So I call him my virtual mentor (we can have those too). I listen to a lot of his recordings..... either on CD or on YouTube.

The book I am talking about is Unlimited Power.

Today I want to share a small part of a chapter that actually talks about frustration, and one key to wealth and happiness is to be able to handle your frustration.


     Here's the first key to the creation of wealth and happiness. You must learn how to handle frustration. If you want to become all you can become, do all you can do, hear all you can hear, see all you can see, you've got to learn how to handle frustration.
Frustration can kill dreams. It happens all the time. Frustration can change a positive attitude into a negative one, an empowering state into a crippling one. The worst thing a negative attitude does is wipe out self-discipline. And when that discipline is gone, the results you desire are gone.
     So to ensure long-term success, you must learn how to discipline your frustration. Let me tell you something. The key to success is massive frustration. Look at almost any great success, and you'll find there's been massive frustration along the way. Anybody who tells you otherwise doesn't know anything about achieving. There are two kinds of people - those who've handled frustration and those who wish they had.

From the book.....Unlimited power by Tony Robbins.


Any time I feel frustrated about some area in my life I always pick up this book and I go to this chapter just to remind myself that frustration is part of the game and it is part of your journey, if you want to be successful. It is OK to feel this way.

But the important thing is..... what do you do with the frustration?
Do you allow it to fuel you to continue or do you allow it to stop you?

                                      Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                      www.karinglannstam.com

Your Dream Will Require A Lot Of Energy

                                                 You can't have a million dollar dream
                                                     with a minimum wage work ethic


You have to have energy when it comes to your dream. Both physical and mental energy.

You have to be hungry to want to accomplish your dream. You must have a burning desire to start and to finish.

You have to be willing to do the things today that will give you what you want tomorrow..... and to be able to do this you have to have a lot of energy.

Your dream requires a lot of energy..... and to be able to accomplish it you have to put together a system in your life that you can follow every day to keep you "energy high."

So what is something that you can do on a daily base to create high energy?

First you have to start with your mind because everything starts there. Your mind is limitless and you have to be mentally ready or you will never be physically ready to accomplish your dream.

I listen to inspirational/motivational material almost every morning and I find a lot of it on YouTube. Plenty to choose from there. It gives me a great kick in the right direction every morning.

You must have a vision and goals. Create goals and read them out load every morning is another great way to start off your day right. Look at what you are wanting to accomplish. Great inspiration early in the morning and before you go to bed at night.

Read books. Spend at least one hour per day reading a book in your field. If you are wanting to improve your health, then read books about nutrition. If you want to improve your money situation, then read books about finances. How about improving your marriage, then you must seek out books about relationships. If you don't feel like spending a lot of money on books you can go to the library. How much does a library card cost? It's FREE.
You can also read a lot of great articles online.

I set a goal this year to read at least 2 books per month in my field. That is 24 books this year. So far I have read 16. I know I will be able to accomplish that goal this year. I read a variety of books so that I will increase my knowledge, feel better myself, better be able to help my clients, improve my blogs and write better books.
I read about success, finances, health/fitness, stress relief, personal development, leadership and relationships just to name a few. I also read biographies of others. Books are filled with great information, knowledge and ideas.
They say knowledge is power.....but only if you apply what you have learned.

I get a lot of mental energy from writing my blogs and newsletters. It inspires me to write them but I also go back and read what I wrote on days when I feel like my energy level is a little low. I also enjoyed wring my first book and it inspired me to write my second book that will be published this summer.

Listen to great music with a fast beat can be a great way of increasing your energy. Any time you move you will change your state and feel a higher energy level.

So this leads me into the next thing you must do to get more energy.....exercise. No way around this one. You don't have to hang out in the gym all the time. But you can walk 4-5 times per week. Just make exercise a regular habit. Choose the exercise that works for you or you won't do it. The important things is that you create a system when it comes to moving your body.

Don't forget to eat right. You must fuel your body with great nutritional stuff. Try to avoid things with a lot of sugar and too much fat. A well balanced diet is all that it takes. I never have believed in depriving your body of things that you enjoy eating. So I eat chocolate sometimes, but I don't eat it all the time and I don't eat as much when I do eat it.

When you create your system to get "energy high" you must include sleep and also time for relaxation and time for yourself. Whether that is quiet-time, mediation-time or reflection-time. It doesn't matter. Just a little time to yourself.

Last one....learn to manage your time. Don't give it away so freely. Plan and schedule your time. Don't let just anyone take up your time or waste it. Your time is very valuable and once you have spent it....it is gone forever, so make sure that you spend it wisely.

Commit to your dream long-term. Whether it will be easy or not to accomplish it.

It doesn't matter what happens..... you are going to accomplish your dream.....even when it's difficult.

                                        Karin Glannstam- Personal Success Coach                                                        www.karinglannstam.com

Time To Move Forward

                                               When your past calls, don´t answer.
                                                       It has nothing new to say.


The past is behind you.....learn from it.
The future is ahead.....plan and prepare for it.
The present is here.....live it.

You can´t do anything about your past.... but you can do something about your future.

To dramatically improve the odds of making your life better you have to take responsibility for designing your future. One great way to do this is by first leaving your old story behind and create a brand new one.

Treat you past as a school. Learn from it. Gather up information and experiences from it and then invest it in your future. Don´t beat yourself over the head with past losses and failures.
Learn from the past but don´t take up residence there.

It does take a lot of courage to let old hurt and pain go. Things that wounded you and made you bleed.
You just have to believe and have faith that what is in front of you is greater than what is behind you.

You have to make a decision that if you want to move to the second half of your life then you have to let the first one go.
You have a new chance but it won´t mean anything if you stay behind in your past.
You must enter the second half of your life with a new mind or it won´t do you any good.

If you are constantly looking back at the past you will not have enough energy for the present moment and for creating your new future.
If you are busy and distracted by the past, you won´t notice opportunities in the present.
They will just slip right by you.

Start where you are right now and decide where you want to go. It doesn´t matter how you got there. The important thing is that you create a new, more empowering story and start moving forward.

Just because you don´t know how every single step of your journey is going to unfold, that shouldn't stop you from getting started.
Put one foot in front of the other and trust that the answers and resources you seek, will appear.

TODAY is the right moment and the perfect day to start your new life.

                                         Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                      www.karinglannstam.com

What Pain Are You Trying To Avoid?

                                                  "When you try to avoid the pain,
                                                         it creates greater pain."
                                                            - Jennifer Aniston

A lot of people are trying to run from pain and their problems with some form of addiction.

We can never run away from our pain and our problems.
In life, we will all will have good days and also bad days. Good times and bad times. We will feel good, but we will also feel bad. We will have setbacks and smooth sailing. It is completely normal.
No person has only good days. It doesn´t matter who you are..... you will have problems, you will feel bad and you will have setbacks in your life. It is part of living.

Society has told us for years that we should not have to feel bad, and if we do there are so many ways of avoiding it or fixing it. If it is only for the moment.

Some people don´t ever want to feel bad, sad or to feel any kind of pain. They always want to feel good in the moment. In order to feel good at every moment of your life you might have to turn to some kind of addiction or addictive behavior to be able to create the desired feeling or avoiding the feelings that you don´t want.

We have become a society filled with pain relievers. Drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, food, sugar, gambling, sex, shopping, relationship hopping, endless complaining and gossiping, always helping others or busyness..... just to name a few.

All these methods are a way of disconnecting and avoiding pain. (if done excessively and with the intention to escape reality)
Maybe you tell yourself....."I don´t want to feel this way right now so I will numb out and escape from the moment." And off you go digging through the refrigerator for something to eat, even though you are hungry. Or you go shopping, gambling or get busy checking emails and FB.

Don´t postpone your pain to the future.
The disconnect from the pain is only temporary. You don´t want to feel the feeling right now so you are postponing it to later.

What is underneath the feeling? What is it that you are avoiding by numbing out?

By disconnecting and continuing to disconnect with things like addiction you are slowly but surely isolating yourself. It is like an endless black hole or bottomless pit. The more you feed it with some kind of addiction the more it wants. There will never be enough stuff to fill up that black hole from the outside. It must be filled from the inside.

What pain are you trying to avoid?
If you are trying to avoid it today, it will come back knocking on your door tomorrow, next week or next month. You can never get rid of your pain by ignoring it. But you can deal with it by accepting it.

Addiction is the easy way out. The more pleasurable way. Trying to avoid pain by adding pleasure.

Instead try to find the root of the problem. Find the original wound, clean it out and then heal it.
It will take a lot of work to discipline yourself and your mind.
It is so much easier to disconnect from yourself with some addiction or addictive behavior.

Learn to self-sooth because anything you reach for out there won´t help you to fix your problem and the emptiness on the inside.
Tell the truth....what are you trying to avoid?

Accept the situation, instead of running from it. Sit in your pain and your discomfort. Don´t fight it.
Instead ask.....what is this pain teaching me? Learn from it.
Now.....what can you do and how can you take the right action?

It is painful to tell the truth. It´s painful to tell people who we really are. It is easy to float the truth.
It is easy to tell ourselves that we will think about the problem tomorrow. Pushing it forward to the next week, month or year.
It´s addictive, but it´s only an escape from the real problem.

                                                   Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
                                                     www.karinglannstam.com

Taking A Break From My Friday Blog

Hi!

Just want to let everyone know that I will not be writing a Friday blog from June-August.

I will continue with the Monday and Wednesday blog as usual.

The Friday blog will return again in September.

                                           Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach

                                                      www.karinglannstam.com