Here are some Warning Signs
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance. Exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.
2. He/she takes more than he gives. You now realize that this show of attention on you at one stage was pretense. The honeymoon period did not last very long.
3. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
4. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions.
5. Requires excessive admiration.
6. Has trouble committing to a relationship. You have to give in to his demands for space; but you have to be at his beck and call.
7. Has a very strong sense of entitlement, unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his/her expectation.
8. Exploitative of others, takes advantage of others to achieve his/her own ends
9. Lacks Empathy. Is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
10. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him/her.
11. Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
12. His needs come first. You have to plan your life around his.
Without awareness, we may not recognize the signs. A guy with narcissistic tendencies is often very charismatic. You are not able to resist him. He is charming, successful and appears to have it all.
We may not realize is that the narcissist is mostly empty talk. His stories are grandiose . He desires to appear big. He seeks approval and needs people to constantly build him up.
It is very energy depleting to be around a narcissist for long. Because he puts his needs first, you have to give in all the time. He is a great manipulator. He throws fits when he realizes that he is not the center of attention.
Once the initial honey moon wears off, partners of people with narcissistic traits go from feeling high on a pedestal to feeling devalued, discarded, and figuratively knocked off the pedestal. Their partners have successfully seduced and hooked them into relationships.
Suddenly, the individual with narcissism begins to reveal traits of lying, future-faking, and Dr.Jekyl/Mr.Hyde Personality. He or she may vanish for hours or days, or gaslighting (confuses the reality) of partner. This person becomes emotionally abusive and detaches from the partner.
Narcissism, in lay terms, basically means that a person is totally absorbed in self. The extreme narcissist is the center of his own universe. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used. It usually starts with a significant emotional wound or a series of them culminating in a major trauma of separation/attachment. No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood. He became emotionally stuck at the time of his major trauma of separation/attachment.
Their emotional age and maturity corresponds to the age they experienced their major trauma. This trauma was devastating to the point it almost killed that person emotionally. The pain never was totally gone and the bleeding was continues. In order to survive, this child had to construct a protective barrier that insulates him/her from the external world of people. He generalizes that all people are harmful and cannot be trusted.
The protective insulation barrier he constructed is called a false persona. He created a false identity. This identity is not the true person inside.
Karin Glannstam - Personal Success Coach
www.karinglannstam.com
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