Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Are You Dealing With An Attention Seeker?

                                          "Distance yourself from people who crave attention.
                                                           Don't fall into their trap.
                                     You'll spend precious time where it won't count.
                                                                Love yourself."






When you have people around you that are needy, attention-seeking and toxic, it's very important that you take great care of yourself because these types of people will drain your energy with their constant drama and neediness.

If you can't get these people out of your life, I suggest that you limit your time with them.
You must have strong boundaries in place and stay away from getting involved in their drama, and attention - seeking behavior.
These people are very good at baiting you and getting you involved in their crazy-making behavior and it is really easy to fall for their sneaky tactics. Before you know it they have you on their hook, and you don't even know how it happened.

Attention-seekers want to always be the center of attention and they will quickly shift the conversation onto themselves and their stories. And what great stories they tell. Unfortunately their stories are often exaggerated to make them sound more important or sometimes totally fabricated. They do lie.

Some attention-seekers act like a rescuer, and they prey on people who has suffered misfortune, illness, injury or some sort of vulnerability. The attention-seeker will dash into rescue them from their suffering and then banks on the praise and attention that follows. The rescued person might become dependent on them, which can lead to the attention-seeker exploiting the relationship.

Unfortunately we often attract by our own actions. Or we will attract people that are on the same level of woundedness or emotional health as we are. Like attracts like.
If we are not complete. If there is some kind of wound or void in our life that we haven't dealt with, chances are that we might attract these kinds of people into our lives until we heal our own void or wound within.
If we avoid dealing with our own issue or our own ghosts from the past, we're going to date the person with the most issues so that we can work through our own issues until they are healed.
These people and these lessons will continue to show up until we look at them. There is nowhere to escape.

Some people are so used to chaos that they will continue to attract unpredictable people. It's because chaos is what feels comfortable for them. It's their normal. They would feel very uncomfortable if  people were predictable and without drama. It probably would be very boring to them.

Attention-seekers are like a 2-year old emotionally. These people are responding to early developmental  trauma in their life caused most often by neglect.

Attention is like a drug for attention-seekers. They will do whatever they have to do to get it. So the best way to handle an attention-seekers is to ignore them. This is the last thing they want you to do and this is why it's so effective.

If an attention-seeker is causing too much of a burden in your life, cut off contact, if possible or at least limit your interactions with this person as much as possible. Learn to walk away.

I was in a relationship with a narcissist for many years until I walked away from the relationship in 2012.  Narcissist are very much attention-seekers. They use people around them as narcissistic supply and they almost stop at nothing to try to get it. If you realize that a person is a narcissist and you start to ignore him/her they will definitely hate you, especially if they were hoping to get some attention from you.
When these people get their supply (attention) they are on a high. They are charming, charismatic and full of energy. Just like a drug addict. But these kinds of people will often become depressed and upset when they are not the center of attention. When people don't give them the attention and the praise (supply) that they so desperately want and need.

It's exhausting to be in a relationship with an attention-seeker. Their constant need to be the center of attention will make you exhausted.
People who crave attention are in reality the most fragile and insecure human being in the world.

In 2012 I walked away and cut off all contact with the narcissistic man that I had been in a relationship with for many years. I moved on with my life. I decided that I didn't want to be a dance partner any longer in his crazy making dance, and in March of 2012 I let him dance alone. 

I was no longer going to be available for any more dances.


What Can You Do?

When you are dealing with attention-seekers and crazymakers, it's important that you take an observers point of view. Don't allow yourself to get entangled in their mess and drama. 

Walk away if you can, or at least keep a healthy distance.

Take great care of yourself and work on your self-worth. Learn to validate yourself.


Check out my blog..... To Love Others You Must First Love Yourself

http://karinglannstam.blogspot.com/2019/06/to-love-others-you-must-first-love.html

Figure out if you have a high tolerance for toxic people and if you do, what is the reason for that?


If you have a void on the inside, or a wound that needs to heal, work on healing that wound. 

Chances are that if you understand and heal your wound, you will stop attracting attention-seeking and toxic people into your life.

Invest in people who invest in you.




                                                          www.karinglannstam.com







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