and all the great artists, poets, musicians and writers all became great
because they developed the power of self-motivation."
- Napoleon Hill
Time again to write yet another blog about motivation.
It seems like too many people have a problem to motivate themselves to do a particular task, and they often leave the responsibility up to someone else to motivate them, to pull them along or to push them forward.
A few months ago Susan came to me for some coaching. Her problem started about ten months earlier when one of her friends moved to another city. The two women had been exercising together almost daily for many years. Taking daily walks together and sometimes even going to the gym.
But ever since her friend moved away Susan had lost all interest in walking and going to the gym. She said to me during one of our conversations that it was almost impossible for her to motivate herself to go walking on her own, and that now she spends her time at home doing nothing or watching TV instead of going walking.
She also told me that she had gained almost 25 pounds since her friend moved and she was very unhappy about that too.
Susan also told me that she was going to try to get another friend to join the gym so that the friend could get her to go to the gym with her. In other words she was going to use the other person as a way of motivating herself and forcing herself to go to the gym to exercise.
I told her that it is a great idea to have a accountability partner in life, that will make sure that you do what you said that you were going to do. I am all for having someone holding you accountable.
But there is a big problem with it too.
What about if this person doesn't show up or decides not to work out.....are you going to go to the gym by yourself? or are you then going to stay home and not go because your friend couldn't go?
I personally don't think this is a very good plan because you are dependening on someone else going. How about if this person gets sick and can't go for a couple of weeks? Or maybe they have to travel out of time on business? Or they move to another city? Then, what are you going to do?
Actually there is only one type of motivation.....self-motivation.
It's an inside job.
Self-motivation means the ability to make yourself do something at a particular time that it needs to be done, whether you feel like it or not.
In the end you have to motivate yourself and discipline yourself to do the things that you must do. Expecting others to help you, won't work most of the time.
You are responsible for you and turning over the responsibility to others isn't always the smartest thing.
I remember many years ago when I was living outside Austin. I belonged to a gym and I usually went there 5 times per week after work. I had my own clothing store at the time. The store closed at 5 pm and I usually went straight to the gym afterwards. But I had this annoying habit of skipping out on my Friday session at the gym. I felt tired and I didn't have any motivation to go. Finally I told myself that it was ridiculous to skip the last session of the week because I felt tired. The truth was that I simply couldn't motivate myself to do it. It was easier to just go home and take it easy.
So what did I do to fix the problem?
I hired a personal trainer, twice a week and I made sure that I scheduled one of those sessions on a Friday evening. I knew that if I had an appointment I would make it to the gym and I wouldn't cancel the session. After meeting with my trainer for several months on a Friday, it became a habit and eventually I could make myself go on Fridays without having a sessions scheduled with my trainer.
I know that it is hard to motivate yourself. But I also know if you leave it up to someone else to motivate you.....you are probably going to fail at whatever you are trying to do.
I do recommend hiring a coach, trainer or mentor. If you pay someone to assist and to guide you.....they will show up for you. They will help you until you have established the habit or the discipline, and can do it on your own.
When you hire someone for a while you must also learn to let them go and learn to do it own your own. Never allow the coach/mentor/trainer to become a crutch for you.
You can do it on your own.
Self-motivation is an inner muscle and power that you have to learn and increase by practice.
Learn to motivate yourself and never depend on others to do it for you.
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