Today's Pain Is Tomorrow's Power

                                                               Don't get lost in your pain, 

                                 know that one day your pain will become your cure. 

                                                                              - Rumi

Do you wish to advance in life?  

If the answer to the question is YES... then you must learn to deal with in the struggle and the pain to get there.

Most of us hate the discipline that it takes to reach our goals.

It doesn't matter what your goal is... but to get there it will take a lot of work and it will take struggle to advance.

The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow.

Most people complain that the road to success and abundance is too hard. It's too inconvenient and it is way too slow.

Most people want a straight and speedy line to success or they won't even start the journey.

A lot of people won't go back to school because it will take too long.

People don't exercise because they want the see the results next week. 

People don't want to adapt a healthier lifestyle because it's too boring and mundane.

A lot of people won't make up their own mind of what is best for them. Instead they allow others to make decisions for them.

Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. 

- Napoleon Hill 

Most people don't want to fight for their dreams.

But the truth is... no one can do the work for you. And I guarantee you that it will be hard work.

You can talk all you want about your dream, what you want to accomplish or who you want to become... but your actions will show if you are committed to your dream or not.

The pain that every struggle brings is the beginning stage of your future strength.

So get out of bed tomorrow and have a made up mind that you will succeed no matter what and embrace the struggle and the pain  that it will take you to get to where you want to go.

In the end... it will be worth it. 

The Universe, has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggles and a reward for your faithfulness. 

Don't Give Up!

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Discipline Is Required For Progress

                         Discipline is the foundation upon which all success is built. 

                                       Lack of discipline inevitably leads to failure. 

                                                                        - Jim Rohn

If you want things in your life to get better, you must decide that you want to make it better. If you want a better future for yourself, you must start creating it. One discipline at a time.

To make your future better you must accept responsibility. You are the only person that can make things better. No one is going to do the work for you.

Doing better comes from getting better. Getting better happens from the discipline of doing better and better.
Getting better doesn´t happen from wishful thinking. 

One discipline always leads to another discipline. 

- Jim Rohn 

Discipline is required for progress. Affirmations alone won´t do the trick.

Make a conscious decision to create a positive habit and then repeat it every day until it becomes automatic.
Tell yourself that  no matter what is going on in the world and in your life, you won´t quit your new habit. 

 Confidence comes from discipline and training. 

- Robert Kiyosaki 

Successful people have more than education and experience. They have good habits and attitudes.

The key to create any habit (healthy or unhealthy) is consistency.

Breaking bad habits can be difficult, but it´s within your power.

As humans we are often a product of our environment, so make sure that you surround yourself with people who will lead you to success. If you are surrounded by negative, fearful and lazy people, it will be hard for you to motivate yourself to achieve your goals.

We don't drift into good directions. We discipline and prioritize ourselves there.  

- Andy Stanley

Be positive, persistent, yet patient, have resilience and always be adaptable.

Discipline is doing what you know needs to be done, even when you don't want to do it.

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Validate Yourself

                                          Seeking validation will keep you trapped. 

                   You don't need anyone or anything to approve of your worth. 

                                        When you understand this you'll be free.

From the time that we are born, we need validation. Loving parents will offer consistent validation for their children. Parents validate their children's feelings, perceptions, their gifts, talents, their interests, kindness and their intuition.

If you received this from your parents you are very fortunate. 

Unfortunately most parents didn´t validate their children feelings because they didn´t know how to validate their own feelings and perceptions.

And since your parents didn´t validate themselves and you. You probably don´t know how to validate yourself and you probably don´t even know that it is your responsibility to do this for yourself.

I did receive very little validation from my own parents as I was growing up . Since my parents didn´t know how to validate themselves...  I had no idea on how to do it. It was impossible for me to do because I didn´t know how. For a long time I allowed other people to determine my worth and I was relying on their validation. I don´t do that anymore.

Are you dependent on others approval and validation for your own sense of worth?

Do you hand over the job to other people to validate you?

If you do it will create a lot of anxiety and unhappiness in your life.

It is absolutely necessary to validate ourselves for us to be happy, peaceful and to feel a sense of security and worth and to be able to have loving relationships with others. 

Stop looking for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security or love - for you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.

-  Eckhart Tolle


So how to we validate ourselves?

Self-judgment. Pay attention to how much you judge yourself. It is very common for a lot of people to judge themselves. Many of us were judged as we were growing up and we learn to judge ourselves rather than value ourselves.
Self-judgment will create a lot of insecurity and inner pain and it is the opposite of valuing ourselves.
As long as you continue to judge yourself you will continue to feel badly.

Feelings. Pay attention to your feelings. They are your inner guidance and your inner knowing. Pay attention to your own acts of kindness toward others and yourself and value them. At our core we are beautiful beings. Unfortunately most of us don´t value our own beautiful inner being. Instead we value ourselves and others by their achievements, looks and what other people think of us.
Instead of judging your feelings, tend to them. All feelings have information. 

Ask yourself... what is this feeling trying to tell me? 

If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life.

Learn to trust your inner knowing. Learn to trust what is right and what is wrong for you. Don´t allow other people to decide for you.
When you trust and decide for yourself you will start to feel more powerful on the inside.

Be kind to others and to yourself. Value yourself for your kindness. When you start to do this you will start to feel happy with yourself.

Take loving action on your own behalf. Decide on what is a really loving action to you. What is in your highest good
Loving actions can be eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise, speaking up for yourself with others - without blame, creating a balance between work and play, getting rid of toxic people and relationships and moving yourself toward work you love and so on. 

You have to validate yourself first, 

and then you will receive the much deserved validation from the rest of the world. 

- D. D. Poisey

Self-validation starts with being present in your own body. Being present with your own feelings. Welcoming your feelings, learning the information and not judging yourself.
Be open to learning what your feelings are telling you.

If you take these steps you will soon discover that you will be feeling better about yourself and that you will need less and less validation from others.

You will naturally validate yourself. 

You've been criticizing yourself for years and it' hasn't worked. 

Try approving of yourself and see what happens. 

- Louise Hay

• Encouraging yourself
• Acknowledging your strengths, successes, progress, and effort
• Noticing and accepting your feelings
• Prioritizing your needs
• Treating yourself with kindness
• Saying nice things to yourself
• Accepting your limitations, flaws, and mistakes

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At The Root Of All Addiction Is Pain

      "Addiction is a secondary problem that comes out of a primary problem.
                               So when we put all the emphasis on the secondary problem
                                       but don´t pay any attention to the primary one,
                                                then how can we possible succeed?"

What do you think about when you see or hear the word addiction?

A person smoking, drinking, doing drugs, gambling, overeating or shopping to much?

Did you know that the addiction isn´t the real problem?

Addiction is actually a way that a person is trying to solve a problem.

People try to solve a problem with addiction but in trying to do so they are sometimes creating an even bigger problem.

Addiction is a distraction. It's an escape.
A distraction for not wanting to be yourself for a while. .
People are so uncomfortable with themselves and through distracting themselves for a while they don´t have to be themselves, or to think about what is going on in their lives.
An escape or a way to self-sooth.

No one is born an addict.
Addiction goes back to suffering and the suffering usually goes back to early childhood.
Addiction reflects some childhood distress or trauma and that is why people self- sooth.
People are finding relief in the addiction. 

"It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drugs or the addictive behavior." 

- Gabor Mate


What is addiction?

Any behavior you create that gives you some type of relief or pleasure and that also have negative consequences.
It´s a behavior that you continue to do despite the negative consequences in your life.

Addiction can be either substance abuse or an addictive behavior.

What are some addictive behaviors....
working too much, overeating, alcohol, coffee, sugar, gambling, too much shopping, sex, web surfing, too much TV, compulsive texting, sexting, constantly checking social media or constantly being on the cell phone with people.

There are things that are healthy for you but they can turn into something unhealthy if you do it as an escape or distraction.
Physical exercise, yoga, religion or spirituality are a few examples.


Why do people get addicted?
Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, sex or gambling is not addictive in itself or we would all be addicted.

Relief from their suffering. When we suffer too much to be ourselves we want to disconnect through some form of self- soothing behavior or substance. 

"Ask not why the addiction. Ask why the pain?". 

- Gabor Mate

The first step in healing any addiction is to recognize that we have a problem.

When we reconnect with ourselves we will be able to get rid of the addictive behavior

Be compassionate with yourself.

Be curious. Learn as much as you can.

Learn how you got there. People are usually acting out what happened to them. 

"We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind which we create our world." 

- Gabor Mate


Awareness and understanding.

Get clear on what happened in the past with your parents, grandparents, siblings, friends or teachers.
Understand that these people have hurt you but that they might not have done it deliberately. They gave you all that they had to give. If they would have had more they would have given it to you.
They did the best that they could with what their parents had taught and given to them.

Find supportive environments. It is hard to do this on your own.
Hire a mentor, coach or therapist. Join a support group. Read books and articles. Listen to podcasts and attend seminars.
Find people who understand you and what you and going through. People who you can trust and seek their support when you are stressed.
Create some structure in your life.

Addiction is about soothing threats.
That is why when we are more stressed we will go for addiction,
In recovery and self connecting with self we must find functional ways in dealing with stress, because stress is going to happen and it is all around us.

Check your level of stress around you.
The more stressed you are - the more likely you will be to reach for some kind of addiction.
How many stresses are you taking on right now? 

It's not the drugs that make a drug addict, it's the need to escape the reality.

The more you stress people - the more they cling to their addiction.

Figure out what is triggering you.
Look at the issue of what is making you addicted in the first place.

When you have recognized you have a problem - try to stay away from stimuli.

If you like to shop - then make a conscious effort to stay away from going to stores or looking on-line.
If you have problem with alcohol - stay away from parties and stay away from friends that will pull you back into drinking. 

If you are addicted to certain foods, coffee or sugar, take some time to clean out your pantry and you refrigerator and get rid of the unhealthy things that you are addicted to.

When you are getting triggered - make a habit of telling someone.
Call a trusted friend and tell them about what is going on, instead of hiding it.

When you bring it into the light or in the open  - you will help diminish it.

When you keep something in the dark it will continue to grow and wreck havoc in your life. 

You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or defeated. You were created to be victorious.

                                                          www.karinglannstam.com

Be The Best Version Of You

Every day is another chance to get stronger, to eat better, 

to live healthier and to be the best version of you.

If your goal is to live a long, healthy, happy life and be fit and trim physically, there is no substitute for regular exercise. By building exercise and physical training into your daily routine you can achieve physical fitness just by making a few small modifications to your lifestyle. 

You are not gonna find your health on the same path you lost it.

Physical fitness specialists generally agree that you need to exercise 200-300 minutes per week to enjoy the maximum levels of physical well-being that are possible for you.

This means that you need to exercise between thirty and sixty minutes, five to seven times each week. 

You cannot buy your health, you must earn it through healthy living.

If you increased your exercise level to sixty minutes each time, five times per week, you will be in the top 1 to 2 percent of physically fit people in the world today.

I don't know about you... but I want to be in the 1 to 2 top percent in the world and I also want to live a long and healthy life. 

It's never too early or too late to work towards being the healthiest you.

Today I want to share a story from a book by Brian Tracy... NO Excuses.

Maybe this story will get you Inspired and Motivated to start making exercise part of your life style and that is never to late to start.


Some Years ago, there was a sixty-eight-year-old woman living in a senior citizens' home who had never given much thought to physical exercise. She had worked hard, raising a family, become a grandmother, and was now living comfortably in a senior citizens' residence.

One day, she saw a television special on jogging. During this special, the interviewed a couple of people in their fifties and sixties who were running marathons. Some of them had started running later in life.

This sixty-eight-year-old woman decided she wanted to run a marathon as well. She drove down to a nearby store and bought the proper shoes for walking and running. That day, she began her exercise regime by walking around the neighborhood where she lived. Over the next weeks, she walked ever-greater distances. She bought books and sought out advice on how to exercise and train her legs for running.

After two months, she began jogging a little as part of her walking routine. After six months, she began running part of her walking and jogging routine. By the end of the first year, she had run in a mini-marathon in her local community.

By the time she was seventy-five, she had completed ten 26.4-mile marathons and two fifty-mile cross-country marathons. And the most remarkable thing was that she had never run before the age of sixty-eight.

Love yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle.

So, what's your excuse? 

If this sixty-eight-year-old woman could start exercising so late in life, why can't you?

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The Meaning We Make Of Our Experiences

                    

                    "Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it."

                                                                    - Tony Robbins 

Do you make meaning of things without enough evidence?

Have you ever gotten upset over how someone else treated you?

Maybe they didn't understand what you were trying to tell them or you felt like they were disrespectful and that they didn't care?

It happens all the time and to all of us.

If we can accept our helplessness over others behavior and not to get angry with the other person we would be a lot better off.

What do you do when you get upset with someone? Are you asking yourself... what do they mean?  What does this mean?

Are you maybe adding meaning to something that doesn't exist?

Most stress is coming from making things more important then they are.

In the future when you get upset with someone or with a situation ask yourself...
What could this mean?

A lot of times we will come up with a negative meaning to what is going on. That is just the way our brains are wired. 

Rejection doesn't mean you are not good enough. 

It just means the other person failed to notice what you had to offer.

Instead of attaching a negative meaning to what is going on, try to come up with several positive ones instead.

Don't assume that a person has done something deliberately to hurt you.

When people do things it is rarely about you. It is more often about them.

They are usually trying to meet their own needs. They are trying to deal with their own fears and frustrations.

So if it's not about you... then what else could this mean?

Come up with a more powerful meaning.

Never assume the worst.

A lot of times when we get upset with someone it is usually because something from our own past is getting triggered by this person or the situation. 

"Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. 

Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their life 

and create a meaning that disempowers them 

or one that can literally save their lives." 

- Tony Robbins

So, the next time something happens ask yourself...

What does this mean?

Can I come up with a more powerful meaning?

Also ask yourself... why you are being triggered? Why are you getting upset?

Is it really about the other person or is it about you?

Maybe it is a fear showing up?

What is your fear about? 

"We are not determined by our experiences, 

but the meaning we give them is self-determining." 

- Ichiro Kishimi

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Get Off The Fence

                                     "Self-study, in a sense of learning by yourself 

                   without anybody teaching you anything, has enormous value." 

                                                                   - Robert Kraft

Don't remain on the fence. 

By jumping off the fence and into the game you will learn, but if you stay on the sidelines or the fence... thinking, planning, ruminating, getting-ready, having the perfect plan before you get started... then you will miss the chance to learn, expand and grow, and respond to the world. 

Have you ever told yourself that you will will start tomorrow? Or next week? Or on Monday?

What is wrong with starting today?"

"Learn by doing. Theory is nice, but nothing replaces actual experience." 

- Tony Hsieh

Stop delaying. It's not going to feel better to start next week or next month. You won't be more prepared a week from now or after you read another book or attended another seminar. 

Often we learn by just starting and then learn as we go.

"For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them." 

- Aristotle

Get out of your comfort zone. Get a little uncomfortable for a while... you will be surprised how much you will learn by taking a few small steps out of your comfort zone. 

You learn by doing! 

Nothing new will feel comfortable in the beginning, but after a while you will get used to it and get comfortable with it.

"Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn."

 - Benjamin Franklin

You don't have to have the perfect plan to get started... just jump in it... get going... the rest will come to you when you need it.

How can you get off the fence today?

Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.

                                                                   www.karinglannstam.com

Knowing Yourself Is True Wisdom

                            "Find yourself first, like yourself first, love yourself first, 

                                    and friendships and love will naturally find you." 

                                                                      - Mandy Hale

You must know thyself.

You must know how you want to live your own life, and then you must live it that way, being proud of your decisions, and stop worrying about what others think.

In today's world we are so busy wanting to know everything about everybody else. We want to know what other people are up to all the time. We are staying in constant contact with people we know and also people we don't know, through all kinds of social media, the internet and TV. 

"Knowing others  is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. 

Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. 

If you realize that you are enough, you are truly rich." 

- Lao Tzu


But in the battle of always wanting to know and learning about what other people are doing, we are forgetting one thing... learning about ourselves.
Learning and studying ourselves is so important, but instead we are studying everyone around us and we want to be more like them instead of being our authentic self. 

"First know yourself, then you will begin to understand why things are as they are, 

and why life is as it is." 

- Leon Brown

But the sooner you stop worrying about what other people think and what they are doing and not doing and start focusing on learning about "yourself" the better off you are going to be.
The sooner you can start to be believe in of yourself and to make decisions based on what you want and what you think... the better off you will be. And if you need to change something, then just change it. It is never too late to change and to get better. 

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." 

- Aristotle


You can change. You can live the life you always wanted. You can live a life of your own design.
It starts with creating the rules for your own life. What you will accept from other people, but also what you will accept from yourself.

So stop following other people and their lives and dreams and put some energy into creating your own dream and vision for your own life. Never feel bad for putting yourself first and doing what is right for you.

A wise man travels to discover himself.

                                                                  www.karinglannstam.com