Sunday, April 14, 2024

At The Root Of All Addiction Is Pain

      "Addiction is a secondary problem that comes out of a primary problem.
                               So when we put all the emphasis on the secondary problem
                                       but don´t pay any attention to the primary one,
                                                then how can we possible succeed?"





What do you think about when you see or hear the word addiction?


A person smoking, drinking, doing drugs, gambling, overeating or shopping to much?

Did you know that the addiction isn´t the real problem?

Addiction is actually a way that a person is trying to solve a problem.

People try to solve a problem with addiction but in trying to do so they are sometimes creating an even bigger problem.

Addiction is a distraction. It's an escape.
A distraction for not wanting to be yourself for a while. .
People are so uncomfortable with themselves and through distracting themselves for a while they don´t have to be themselves, or to think about what is going on in their lives.
An escape or a way to self-sooth.

No one is born an addict.
Addiction goes back to suffering and the suffering usually goes back to early childhood.
Addiction reflects some childhood distress or trauma and that is why people self- sooth.
People are finding relief in the addiction. 


"It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drugs or the addictive behavior." 
- Gabor Mate


What is addiction?

Any behavior you create that gives you some type of relief or pleasure and that also have negative consequences.
It´s a behavior that you continue to do despite the negative consequences in your life.


Addiction can be either substance abuse or an addictive behavior.

What are some addictive behaviors....
working too much, overeating, alcohol, coffee, sugar, gambling, too much shopping, sex, web surfing, too much TV, compulsive texting, sexting, constantly checking social media or constantly being on the cell phone with people.

There are things that are healthy for you but they can turn into something unhealthy if you do it as an escape or distraction.
Physical exercise, yoga, religion or spirituality are a few examples.


Why do people get addicted?
Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, sex or gambling is not addictive in itself or we would all be addicted.

Relief from their suffering. When we suffer too much to be ourselves we want to disconnect through some form of self- soothing behavior or substance. 


"Ask not why the addiction. Ask why the pain?". 
- Gabor Mate


The first step in healing any addiction is to recognize that we have a problem.

When we reconnect with ourselves we will be able to get rid of the addictive behavior

Be compassionate with yourself.

Be curious. Learn as much as you can.

Learn how you got there. People are usually acting out what happened to them. 


"We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind which we create our world." 
- Gabor Mate


Awareness and understanding.
Get clear on what happened in the past with your parents, grandparents, siblings, friends or teachers.
Understand that these people have hurt you but that they might not have done it deliberately. They gave you all that they had to give. If they would have had more they would have given it to you.
They did the best that they could with what their parents had taught and given to them.

Find supportive environments. It is hard to do this on your own.
Hire a mentor, coach or therapist. Join a support group. Read books and articles. Listen to podcasts and attend seminars.
Find people who understand you and what you and going through. People who you can trust and seek their support when you are stressed.
Create some structure in your life.

Addiction is about soothing threats.
That is why when we are more stressed we will go for addiction,
In recovery and self connecting with self we must find functional ways in dealing with stress, because stress is going to happen and it is all around us.

Check your level of stress around you.
The more stressed you are - the more likely you will be to reach for some kind of addiction.
How many stresses are you taking on right now? 


It's not the drugs that make a drug addict, it's the need to escape the reality.


The more you stress people - the more they cling to their addiction.

Figure out what is triggering you.
Look at the issue of what is making you addicted in the first place.

When you have recognized you have a problem - try to stay away from stimuli.

If you like to shop - then make a conscious effort to stay away from going to stores or looking on-line.
If you have problem with alcohol - stay away from parties and stay away from friends that will pull you back into drinking. 

If you are addicted to certain foods, coffee or sugar, take some time to clean out your pantry and you refrigerator and get rid of the unhealthy things that you are addicted to.


When you are getting triggered - make a habit of telling someone.
Call a trusted friend and tell them about what is going on, instead of hiding it.

When you bring it into the light or in the open  - you will help diminish it.

When you keep something in the dark it will continue to grow and wreck havoc in your life. 


You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or defeated. You were created to be victorious.


                                                          www.karinglannstam.com


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