You don't need anyone or anything to approve of your worth.
When you understand this you'll be free.
From the time that we are born, we need validation. Loving parents will offer consistent validation for their children. Parents validate their children's feelings, perceptions, their gifts, talents, their interests, kindness and their intuition.
If you received this from your parents you are very fortunate.
Unfortunately most parents didn´t validate their children feelings because they didn´t know how to validate their own feelings and perceptions.
And since your parents didn´t validate themselves and you. You probably don´t know how to validate yourself and you probably don´t even know that it is your responsibility to do this for yourself.
I did receive very little validation from my own parents as I was growing up . Since my parents didn´t know how to validate themselves... I had no idea on how to do it. It was impossible for me to do because I didn´t know how. For a long time I allowed other people to determine my worth and I was relying on their validation. I don´t do that anymore.
Are you dependent on others approval and validation for your own sense of worth?
Unfortunately most parents didn´t validate their children feelings because they didn´t know how to validate their own feelings and perceptions.
And since your parents didn´t validate themselves and you. You probably don´t know how to validate yourself and you probably don´t even know that it is your responsibility to do this for yourself.
I did receive very little validation from my own parents as I was growing up . Since my parents didn´t know how to validate themselves... I had no idea on how to do it. It was impossible for me to do because I didn´t know how. For a long time I allowed other people to determine my worth and I was relying on their validation. I don´t do that anymore.
Are you dependent on others approval and validation for your own sense of worth?
Do you hand over the job to other people to validate you?
If you do it will create a lot of anxiety and unhappiness in your life.
It is absolutely necessary to validate ourselves for us to be happy, peaceful and to feel a sense of security and worth and to be able to have loving relationships with others.
Stop looking for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security or love - for you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.
- Eckhart Tolle
So how to we validate ourselves?
Self-judgment. Pay attention to how much you judge yourself. It is very common for a lot of people to judge themselves. Many of us were judged as we were growing up and we learn to judge ourselves rather than value ourselves.
Self-judgment will create a lot of insecurity and inner pain and it is the opposite of valuing ourselves.
As long as you continue to judge yourself you will continue to feel badly.
Feelings. Pay attention to your feelings. They are your inner guidance and your inner knowing. Pay attention to your own acts of kindness toward others and yourself and value them. At our core we are beautiful beings. Unfortunately most of us don´t value our own beautiful inner being. Instead we value ourselves and others by their achievements, looks and what other people think of us.
Instead of judging your feelings, tend to them. All feelings have information.
So how to we validate ourselves?
Self-judgment. Pay attention to how much you judge yourself. It is very common for a lot of people to judge themselves. Many of us were judged as we were growing up and we learn to judge ourselves rather than value ourselves.
Self-judgment will create a lot of insecurity and inner pain and it is the opposite of valuing ourselves.
As long as you continue to judge yourself you will continue to feel badly.
Feelings. Pay attention to your feelings. They are your inner guidance and your inner knowing. Pay attention to your own acts of kindness toward others and yourself and value them. At our core we are beautiful beings. Unfortunately most of us don´t value our own beautiful inner being. Instead we value ourselves and others by their achievements, looks and what other people think of us.
Instead of judging your feelings, tend to them. All feelings have information.
Ask yourself... what is this feeling trying to tell me?
If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life.
Learn to trust your inner knowing. Learn to trust what is right and what is wrong for you. Don´t allow other people to decide for you.
When you trust and decide for yourself you will start to feel more powerful on the inside.
Be kind to others and to yourself. Value yourself for your kindness. When you start to do this you will start to feel happy with yourself.
Take loving action on your own behalf. Decide on what is a really loving action to you. What is in your highest good
Loving actions can be eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise, speaking up for yourself with others - without blame, creating a balance between work and play, getting rid of toxic people and relationships and moving yourself toward work you love and so on.
You have to validate yourself first,
and then you will receive the much deserved validation from the rest of the world.
- D. D. Poisey
Self-validation starts with being present in your own body. Being present with your own feelings. Welcoming your feelings, learning the information and not judging yourself.
Be open to learning what your feelings are telling you.
If you take these steps you will soon discover that you will be feeling better about yourself and that you will need less and less validation from others.
You will naturally validate yourself.
You've been criticizing yourself for years and it' hasn't worked.
Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
- Louise Hay
- Encouraging yourself
- Acknowledging your strengths, successes, progress, and effort
- Noticing and accepting your feelings
- Prioritizing your needs
- Treating yourself with kindness
- Saying nice things to yourself
- Accepting your limitations, flaws, and mistakes
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