Find The Courage To Be Authentic

 "Never change for anyone, after you do, all they´ll want you to do is change again. And as hard as it was to change the first time, to give up everything you knew, and be half empty afterwards isn´t worth it. Don´t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you."

- Unknown

A lot of times we might feel that it is more important to be liked than to be real and authentic.

But how can we love and enjoy our lives if we are not honest and authentic?

How can we create something extraordinary if we are not speaking and living our truth?

We can´t.

If you continue to live a life without being honest and authentic, resentment will build and your mind and your heart and your whole life will be out of balance.

Stop trying to please other people. A lot of times it is an attempt to seek validation to increase your own self-worth.
Don´t be afraid to speak the truth even if you think it might cause some people not to agree with you or even disapprove of you.

Unfortunately we live in a society that are constantly telling us that we are not enough.
TV, the internet, magazines or social media are constantly letting us know that we would feel a lot better if we bought a certain product or did a certain thing... only then we will be validated and feel good about ourselves.
This will keep us in a constant battle and endless confusion and the result is a never ever feeling of not ever being good enough. 

Don't you dare to shrink yourself for someone else's comfort. 

Do not become small for people who refuse to grow.

Here Are A Couple of Tips!

The less you look for other peoples validation or approval - the more they will give it to you.
Learn to validate and approve of yourself. Then you won´t need any help from the world out here, it will come from within yourself.
And if it comes from within it can never be taken away from you.

Also remember that most people will respect "The Real You".
You don´t have to be perfect in order for people to like you.
Be human... it is OK. If you are going through a hard time, let people know.
It´s liberating to not have to pretend that everything is just fantastic in your life... all the time.

Be authentic. 

Express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs and your fears.
Share your experiences with people.
If in doubt... always be yourself and keep it real.

Authenticity  requires vulnerability, transparency and integrity.

                                                              www.karinglannstam.com

Excuses Don't Get Results

                                               "A comfort zone is a beautiful place, 

                                                           but nothing grows there."

Are you feeling fenced in?

How many of us are slaves to our past?

How many of us are not doing the things that we are really wanting to do because of the past?

Choosing is important.

The power to choose is the greatest power.

Yet we often fail to decide on what we actually want in life.

Getting in life is not difficult.
But deciding on what we want is tough.

We are where we are in life today because of the choices that we have made.
If we want something bigger in life, we must choose something different - Starting today.

Fear of failure is the #1 reason people don´t try to do things.

A lot of people will tell you that they didn´t get what they wanted in life because they were afraid to try.

To overcome the fear of failure we must have a goal big enough worth failing for.
Failure is great. You can´t have success without failure.

If you shoot at nothing - you will hit nothing.
Take a chance.

We must begin to see possibilities.
We must begin to see doors instead of walls.

It is not where you are, that counts. It is who you are.
You can change your life by changing the way you think.

TIP!

Take some time by yourself.
Decide on what you REALLY WANT. 
Start creating the picture in your mind. Write it down. 
Take action and go after your dream!

                           "A year from now you will wish you had started today."

What are you waiting for?

Tomorrow is not a day of the week. Start TODAY.

                                                                www.karinglannstam.com

Having Trouble Saying No?

              "Half the troubles in this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly
                                                      and not saying no soon enough."
                                                                       - Josh Billings

Are you afraid of the consequences if you say NO to someone?

Are you a YES-person?

Every time someone is asking you to do something, you are always saying YES... even if you don´t want to do it? You actually want to say NO!

Why do you always say yes to people?

Are you afraid that if you say no to someone... they will get upset with you?

Are you telling yourself that you don´t want to upset people because you are actually afraid that they won´t like you anymore?
And maybe they will actually walk away and leave you if you say no to them?

I have news for you... if you are afraid that the people that you say no to will walk away and leave you... let them.
If the only reason they are hanging out with you is because you always say yes to them, they are not worth keeping around.

A true friend doesn´t mind that you tell them no. They will understand and they won´t get mad and leave you over it.

The longer you wait to start to say no... the more pain you will feel yourself.

In the end you will feel much better about yourself for speaking up for what you really want.

Be true to yourself. If someone wants to leave... let them.
You will be just fine!

New friends will show up in your life. True friends that don´t care if you tell them no, if you don´t want to do something.

Make sure that when you say yes to others... that you are not saying no to yourself. 

                          "Freedom isn't the ability to say yes. It's the ability to say no." 

                                                                     - Anonymous 

                                                       www.karinglannstam.com

What Are You Willing To Fight For?

 

                                                 If you are not willing to do the work,
                                                     don't complain about the result.

We all want changes in our lives.

We want to be healthier and in shape.

We want to have more energy. Both physical and mental.

We often want a job that fulfills us and we usually want to make more money.

We want passionate intimate relationships with our partners.

We want great relationships with our children and our parents.

We want to have more time for our friends and for our hobbies.

We want to have more money saved.

And the list goes on and on.

So why doesn't more people create what they want in their lives?

It usually comes down to one question... Are you willing to the work that it takes to create whatever you want in your life?

Are you willing to get up an hour earlier so that you can go to the gym before you go to work?

Are you willing to turn off the TV or the internet and read instead so that you can learn something new ?

Are you willing to save your money instead of buying the latest purse or shoes?

Are you willing to cook instead of going out to eat?

Are you willing to change your eating habits?

Are you willing to start saying NO to people?

Are you willing to do the work that it takes to loose the weight?

Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone and do new things that will make you feel awkward in the beginning?

Are you willing to start a new business even though you don't know if it will ever be successful?

Are you willing to go to school in the evenings to learn a new skill?

Are you willing to find a new job that is more in alignment with who you are and what you want to accomplish in life?

Are you WILLING? 

"Everyone wants success... 

some try it, but few actually do whatever it takes." 

- John Assaraf

For anything to change in our lives... we must be willing to do the work that will be involved in making what we want into our reality.
We can dream and plan all that we want but if we are not willing to back it up with some kind of action... nothing will  ever happen.

If you want to change, 

you have to be willing to be uncomfortable.

                                                             www.karinglannstam.com

Don't Waste Your Time Trying To Change Others

              When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself,

                                                    your world changes for the better.

Has anyone been trying to change you lately?

There are plenty of people out there in the world that are spending an enormous amount of time and energy on trying to change the people around them, to make themselves feel better.

Women are very good at this. The minute some women get into a relationship or marriage with a man, they try to change the man. This often confuses the other person because just a short while back everything they did was great and then all of a sudden there isn't anything that they are doing that is good enough. Have you ever been there? I know I have.

I am sure that most of us have been on the receiving end of people trying to control us and have us change our ways. And I know that sometimes it might be a good thing to change something that we are doing or some aspects of ourselves. But we can never force a person to change by nagging and complaining about them.

I am sure that most of us have also tried to change someone else.
How did that work out for you?

We must stop expecting other people and situations to be a certain way, so that we can be the way we want to be and so that we can feel good. This is a very powerless place to be. In the end people have the right to be the way they are and you also have the right to be who you are.

If you don't harmonize with certain people, it isn't that they are wrong or that you are wrong. It's simply that you have different types of energy, values and beliefs and all of those does not harmonize.

There are 7 billion people out there.
If you don't harmonize with someone, you can always find another person. And don't change yourself just because you want to be in a relationship with someone because in the end that will suffocate your soul and you will eventually die on the inside.

Always be who you are and find the people that you are in alignment and harmonize with. Life is too short to be miserable with people that are not in alignment of who we are. Stop trying to change them and don't change yourself just to fit in.

You can't wait for people/things to change. It's a very weak and powerless situation to be in.
Take charge of your own life. Create a new story. Be the hero of your own journey.

                                                Stop trying to change other people:
                                          The only person you can change is yourself.

                                                       www.karinglannstam.com

Your Happiness Is Your Responsibility

                                                      "Happiness is an inside job. 

                          Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life." 

                                                                       - Many Hale 

When we judge ourselves, we also have a tendency to judge others as well.

In your relationships... are you judging and being hard on your partner?

When learning to love and value yourself there will be no need to judge yourself and others.

It starts with you.

The more you learn to love yourself and take great care of yourself and your own needs and not abandon yourself... the less you will feel needy, causing you to pull on your partner for the love that you are not giving yourself.

This is why it is so important to learn to love ourselves before we can love someone else.

We can´t give away what we don´t have. If you don´t have love for yourself  you will expect your partner to give it to you. At this point you will probably become needy and expect your partner to provide you with the love that you are not giving yourself.

If you don´t have a partner you might become needy of love and easily attach to someone else to try to get love from them.

We can´t expect others to give us something that we have to learn to give to ourselves.

Most people don´t want the responsibility for making you feel good about yourself.

The more you pull on people for love, the more they will pull away from you.

Learn to love and take care of yourself.

No one can make you happy until you're happy with yourself first.

                                                                 www.karinglannstam.com

The New You!

                                       If you are brave enough to say "good bye"
                                             life will reward you with a new "hello"
                                                                 - Paulo Coelho

When you are trying to create a new you... it doesn't matter if it's trying to loose weight, stop drinking, getting out of debt, stop gambling or slow down with the shopping.

It is important that you leave the old YOU behind.

Leave the old habits behind.

Leave the old disciplines or lack of disciplines behind.

Leave the old friends behind (at least for a while to make sure they don't pull you back into your old habits)

Leave the old way of thinking behind.

Leave the old way of being behind. 

"You are making a new life by

making new choices." 

- Sean Stephenson

When we are trying to change something in our lives we must trade the old ways of living for some new ways.

You can´t take the old YOU with you when you are trying to accomplish something new in your life.

The old habits will not work when you are trying to accomplish some new goals.
You must create a few new habits.

Habits are hard to change. Some of you habits might have been part of your life for 20, 30, 40 or even longer.

To become a new and different person requires you to step out of your comfort zone.
You must learn to do a few new things. Create new habits and also a new way of being.

Only you can make it happen. You are responsible for the change. No on will do it for you. 

"You can't create a new reality with the same personality." 

- Amit Gaswami

People around you will get scared when you start to change.
They will be afraid that you might not have time for them anymore.
Maybe you won´t have time to sit around anymore and talk about nothing.
They are afraid that you might leave them.

The old is easy and familiar and the new is scary and uncomfortable.

Set a goal that will make you expand and grow.
It is not what you are getting when you are trying to reach your goal. 

It is who you are becoming in the process that truly matters. 

"You have to be willing to go to war with yourself 

and create a whole new identity." 

- David Goggins 

So go for it!

All you need is a vision and then the will to make it happen.

                                                            www.karinglannstam.com

The Importance Of Being Fully Present

                                                    "If you chase two rabbits,
                                                                  BOTH will escape"

Don't allow anything to capture your attention unless it is in the best interest of the task at hand.

Concentration will keep out clutter, noise and other distraction that will keep you from completing your task.
Wherever you are... be there!

Learn to concentrate on what you are suppose to be doing for the moment. You can't be thinking of everything you need to be doing... all the time. 

It is exhausting and it will lead to burn out.

You must learn to concentrate on just one thing at a time. 

A project, a job... you must take it one task at a time until you complete it.

Can you imagine if you were a mountain climber and you lost your concentration for a second... you could fall and die. 

How about a tennis player... if you lost your concentration for a second or two.... you might loose the game.

There is no such thing as multi-tasking. 

It is called task-switching and it will only slow you down.
Your brain can only concentrate on one thing at a time. 

So do what you have set out to do. 

Keep your mind on that one task.

Why?
Because if you don't, you won't be able to accomplish anything.

It takes a lot of discipline to not answer the phone while you are in the middle of doing a task. Or checking your emails and social media. 

It will take a lot of discipline to keep the "do not disturb" sign up when you are working on a project.
Concentration takes a lot of discipline.

Concentrate on the work a hand and demand of yourself the discipline of staying focused.

Just remember when you are at work...WORK!

When you at home with family or with your friends... BE THERE!

"Learn to concentrate single-mindedly on the most important thing 

  that you can be doing at any time."

 - Brian Tracy 

                                                                www.karinglannstam.com

Activate Your Personal Power

                              Almost every successful person begins with two beliefs: 

                                            the future can be better than the present, 

                                                   and I have the power to make it so.

The source of personal power starts with YOU.

When you are in better shape physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually you are more capable of negotiating more effectively. You make better decisions. Your creativity flows. You are a better manager when it comes to people around you. Your relationships improve.

Changing yourself is the first step in changing your relationships - both at work and your intimate relationships.
It starts with YOU.

Taking action is a way of building more personal power in your life.
Any muscle that you don't exercise on a daily basis will eventually get weaker. Same thing with taking action... it is also a muscle. Have you used it lately?
The way to build a muscle is to start small and then build daily.

Today I have a very simple exercise that you can do to immediately increase the quality of your life.  You will feel good and your self-esteem will soar... because you actually followed through.

Right now think of two actions that you have been putting off for a while.
Two things that you should do. Two things you need to do but you are constantly putting them off.

Maybe it's making a phone call or two
Starting a blog
Quit smoking or drinking
Saying NO
Re-connect with a friend or family-member
Losing weight
Limit certain foods in your diet
Asking for a raise
Change job
Saving money

Pick two actions that would immediately change the quality of your life.

What are those two action?
Decide and commit to follow through. This is it!!!

There is tremendous power in making a decision and then immediately follow through on your decision.

You can start with something small - then build.

- Write down the two decisions that you made.
- Take action on them immediately - RIGHT NOW!

Don't put it off another minute. Do whatever it takes. There is power in momentum. Don't wait or delay.

Decision - Commitment to follow through - This will create PERSONAL POWER.

Go For It!!!

If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.

                                                         www.karinglannstam.com

Allow Your Light To Shine

                                            "The meaning of life is to find your gifts. 

                                                 The purpose of life is to give it away." 

                                                                    - Pablo Picasso

Most of us are terrible judges of our own work.

Not only are we terrible judges of our own work but really it isn't our job to judge our own work.
Don´t compare yourself to others and stop trying to figure out how valuable your work is.

Our job is to continue to create what we are good at.
If it is writing, music, singing, designing, dancing or painting. 

Nearly everyone is an artist in one way or the other and unfortunately every artist will judge their own work.

Your job is to share what you have to offer right now, with the world.
Continue to do what you are doing and don't stop because you don't think that you are good enough.
Unfortunately a lot of people will allow their own self-judgment to stop them from bringing their gifts and talents to the world.
Make sure that you allow your light to shine.
Give yourself a chance.

Your gifts and talents are needed. 

Someone out there is looking for exactly what you have got.
Share you knowledge, wisdom and your experiences. 

We are all teachers and we must share our experiences because they are valuable.

You are running your own race. 

Stop looking at other people. 

They are running a different race.

Your dream was given to you. Nobody needs to approve of your dream. 

If no one else can see it, it's because that dream was given to you and not them.
Hold it, cultivate it, nourish it and work it.

Start trusting and listening to yourself. Listen to the small voice within you.
Trust your ideas and your instincts.

Your job is to do the work and not to judge it.

Stay in your own race and share your talents with the world. 

Power is gained by sharing knowledge, not hoarding it.

                                                  www.karinglannstam.com