Monday, April 24, 2023

The Importance Of Having Good Friendships

                             "Friendships take time and energy if it's going to work. 

                                                You can luck into something great, 

                           but it doesn't last if you don't give it proper appreciation. 

            Friendships can be comfortable, but nurture it - don't take it for granted." 

                                                                           - Betty White




Are you a true friend? 

In this culture of "being busy" all the time... do you take time to nurture your old friendships and create new ones?

Do you always send a text-message, a message via Facebook or emails instead of actually taking the time to pick up the phone to connect with friends and family members or even better, meet in person?

Do you stay in in touch with people? Do you initiate conversation or do you always let the other person reach out to you?

Do you plan to get together in person... or are you too busy with working or other busy-work?

Are you spending countless hours at work and not having time for friends or family, so that you can buy the latest  car, a bigger house, fancy vacations, expensive designer clothing or the latest technical gadgets?

If this sounds like you... you might want to stop and think for a minute about something...
What happens the day when you can't work all the time or if you get sick for any reason end up in the hospital?
Will that new fancy car... the big house... or the latest computer come and visit you in the hospital?

This is why it is so important to have friends and family and to always take time to nurture those relationships.


"True friendships isn't about being there when it's convenient. 

It's about being there when it's not."


Remember to have friends, you also have to be a friend. 

Don't spend time on the cellphone when you are together with other people. Put your phone away and be fully present with the people you are spending time with. They deserve 100 percent of you.

Don't be so busy that you don't have time for you friend and family. Remember this is not a dress rehearsal... this is it! We don't get a second chance at life.

So the next time you are tempted to just connect with email, text-message, or Facebook... maybe it would be great to pick up the phone instead to connect... or even better... meet in person.  


"Wishing to be a friend is quick work, 

but friendship is a slow ripening fruit." 

- Aristotle 


                                                              www.karinglannstam.com



Monday, April 17, 2023

Your Focus Determines Your Reality

                                      "You life is controlled by what you focus on." 

                                                                   - Tony Robbins




Did you know that out of every hour - people spend 20 minutes on interruptive messages?

Then it is estimated that it will take you about 7-15 minutes to get back to what you were doing before you answered the phone call, text or email. I even heard that it might take as long as 25 minutes to be able to refocus on the task or job. 


"What you stay focused on will grow."
 - Roy T. Bennet


So in an 8 hour workday you are wasting  160 minutes on interruptive messages. That is 2 hours and 40 minutes per day.

You are wasting or consuming 2 hours and 40 minutes and you can't get that time back.

TV is bad enough but what is worse is computers and cell phones because they are interactive.

If you don't turn it off,  it will be like a jar of M&M's - you keep reaching for it. 


"Starve your distractions. Feed your focus." 
- Anonymous



                                                                 www.karinglannstam.com

Monday, April 10, 2023

Is This Right For You?

                                                Everyone seems to have a clear idea
                                       on how other people should lead their lives,
                                                     but none about his or her own.




We all have to be respectful of other peoples recoveries, paths or journeys in life.
We must learn to mind our own business.

There are always several paths that will lead to the same thing.
In other words, there are several paths that will lead to the top of the mountain.
It really doesn´t matter how you get there.
The important thing is that you actually get to where you want to go.

I have met so many people that have been trying to tell me or convince me that their way is the only way for me to accomplish what I am trying to accomplish.
Their way of solving a problem or accomplishing a particular goal is the right way or the only way to do it.
It might be their way of doing something but it is never the only way. 


"Do what you think in right. 
Don't let people make the decisions of right or wrong for you." 
- Steve Maraboli


You should listen to many different people. Listen to what they have to say. Learn from their experiences that they are sharing. 
You can take advice from people but never take orders from them.

Everyone must figure out what will work best for them.
Through my own battles and life-lessons, I have found out that there is usually a combination of several things that will work the best.
There is no such thing as One Size Fits All.


Be respectful of other peoples journeys.
It might not be the right one for you... but for them it is the perfect path.

You don´t have the right to tell people what to do or try to control them.
You don´t have the right to help anyone else unless they ask you. 


You have to do what is right for you. 
Nobody else is walking in your shoes.


You can present an experience to others and you can be a living example of what it is to have been changed by your own experience.
What you have learned through your own battles and storms.
How you turned your breakdown into a breakthrough.
How you handled it and what worked for you.

If someone wants to know... they will ask you.
Lead by example. Never not by forcing your advice and opinions onto others.


When I write my blogs and newsletters I often write about what has worked for me. My own experience.
I also write about what I have learned from other people that have travelled a similar path before me. What has worked for them.

Take the information that makes sense to you and leave the rest.


Don't let people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself. 


Always...

Be curious

Have and open mind.

Do your own research.

Think for yourself.

You are the CEO of your own life. Only YOU can decide what is right for YOU.



                                                                            www.karinglannstam.com




Monday, April 3, 2023

Our Habits, Good Or Bad, Will Deliver Results

                                    "Your habits will determine your quality of life." 

                                                                     - Dennis Waitly




Have you ever tried to break a habit or tried to create a new healthier one?

We all know that breaking old habits are very difficult, especially if you have had the same habit for many years.

Creating a new habit is also very difficult. Even if you know that this new habit will be good for you, it will most of the time require some kind of effort and discipline that the bad habit didn´t require.
Bad habits are easy to develop but difficult to deal with in the long run. Good habits will be more difficult to develop but a lot easier to live with.

When people are trying to change something whether it is their diet, starting to exercise, starting to save money instead of spending it.... one big mistake a lot of people make is that they try do too much too soon. They want to see some results quickly.
By doing too much too soon they will set themselves up for failure and going back into a relapse. In other words, they will loose their momentum. 


"A change in habits leads to a change in life." 
- Jenny Craig


Nothing wrong with a great vision of seeing yourself as healthy and in great shape, but the way you go about it might not be the best way. Your vision is great but your plan to achieve it not so good.
Most great dreams and visions will require smaller goals. Like daily, weekly and monthly goals.
We can call them stepping stones.

If you haven´t been eating healthy in a long time, it might be too big of a goal for you to start eating mostly veggies, fruit, fish and barely nothing else You might be excited for a few days until you realize that you don´t even like broccoli, grapefruit or salmon. Instead a great daily goal can be to replace an unhealthy snack with a fruit and then to drink plenty of water. Add a vegetable to your meal and cut back on bread, pasta or rice. Get used to the new routine for a week or two. Then add a few more healthy choices. If you change too quickly you will easily get bored when you don't see any results and you might even quit after a few days. 


"Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a  lot more rewarding.
 - Harvey MacKay


The same thing happens to people that haven´t exercised in a couple of years. They decide to go running a couple of miles because they were able to that distance 5 years ago. If you have been sitting on the couch for a few years you might want to start with walking a mile or two, 3 times per week. When your body gets used to this you can either increase the distance or the amount of times per week that you exercise. People can easily get hurt if they start doing to much. They end up on the couch with a sore ankle and they won´t get started again for another year.
Don´t let this be you. Start small and increase slowly. Build momentum by taking baby steps.
It´s about the habit, not the amount

How about saving money. If you are used to spending all of your paycheck and then some, you might not be able to start saving $500 per month. You might have to start with cutting up your credit cards and open a savings account. Then you start with maybe saving $25-50 per month plus you decide to stay out of the stores, to not be tempted to buy something that you do not need. Slowly you can increase the amount you save and after a while you will be surprised how much money you will have in your savings account and you will realize that you 
don´t even miss shopping anymore.
Again, it is about establishing a new habit and not about the amount. 


"We first make our habits then our habits make us." 
- John Dryden


What you are trying to do is to get yourself used to a new habit, mentally. You are developing self-discipline. Self-discipline is a muscle and a lot of people haven´t used this particular muscle for a very long time. It is easy to plan but it isn´t that easy to actually put the plan into action. That is when discipline comes in. Self discipline is to do the things that you decided that you were going to do, when you are suppose to do them, no matter if you feel like doing it or not.
You have to motivate yourself to get going and to actually do the thing you said you were going to do.

In the beginning it is easy to be excited about a new goal.
You decided to run 3 miles per week even though you haven´t ran for years. How long do you think you will be able to continue to do it when you are getting bored, tired, running out of time and feeling unmotivated and you would rather watch TV or checkout FB?


 "Good or bad, habits always deliver results." 
- Jack Canfield


How about if you decide that you are going to go for one mile walk 3 times per week. Do you think that you will be able to do it during those days when you don´t feel like doing it? I think so.
It is a lot easier to start with a small habit and allow it to grow, than to do it the other way.

It is more a mental thing. You are creating a habit in your mind. You are creating self-discipline. Nothing much will happen in the beginning with a small habit but if you stick with it , it will grow and after a while it will be hard to quit your new habit. If you continue your habit of walking and then adding some more miles then one day you will wake up and you will realize that you are now a runner. Your life has been transformed. Mile by mile and day by day.

Your future is determined by your willingness to create small habits and then actually following these habits until you accomplish your dream. 


Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.
Yiddish Proverb



                                                       www.karinglannstam.com


Monday, March 27, 2023

Create An Environment For Your Success

                          You can't thrive in an environment that isn't nourishing you.    



                

One great way of doing things that we feel are impossible to do or to accomplish, is to find someone or several people who have already done what we are trying to do.

If you are trying to accomplish a certain goal... go out and search for the people that have already accomplished this goal.

Identify the people that are already doing the things you want to do... both in business and in life.

Both the everyday people and also the mentors that will show us the roadmap to make our dreams a reality.

You can find them in person by attending a seminar that they are teaching. You can find seminars in person and also live online.
Or you can read books written by people who have already accomplished what you are trying to do. 


You are a product of your environment, 
so choose the environment that will best develop you towards your objective.


Also look around at your current environment... do the people that you spend the most time with actually supporting you in your journey to accomplish your dream?

Do these people encourage you?

Or are they pulling you down and sometimes even make you doubt yourself and what you are trying to accomplish?

For each person who doesn´t bring you up, you must create a plan to spend less and less time with this person.

Start spending time around  people that you admire. 
Find videos online, read books, attend conferences, find meetup organizations or go to live seminars. 


When your environment is clean you feel happy, motivated and healthy.


How about your home... have you created and environment there that will allow you to be inspired, empowered and motivated to accomplish your goals and the life that you truly desire? 

If you are working from home... have you got a inspiring office or workplace? 
An area that you can create, design and feel empowered in?

How about your car? Is it clean or messy? 
Do you feel happy when you get into your car? If not, it will probably lower your level of energy and motivation.


Your environment dramatically affects your levels of achievements.
- Robin Sharma 


Who do you spend most of your time with?

Do they build you up and inspire you

How can you change your environment to create better success in life?



                                                              www.karinglannstam.com

Monday, March 20, 2023

Starting Over

                                           "Life is the ability to start over again."

                                                            - Joan D. Chittister 




Difficult times happens to everyone. It doesn´t matter if you are rich or poor, young or old, man or woman... things do happen in our lives. Things we didn´t expect to happen.

We can not avoid or control these storms or setbacks in our lives.
But what we can control is how we respond to them.

Are you going to allow yourself to stay in bed for several months after a setback?
Are you going to blame someone else for your situation?
Are going to continue to focus on what used to be?

Or are you going to pull yourself together and start again?
One small action step at a time? 


"Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again." 
- Dorothy Fields


One great key to quickly recover from a setback is to have something to go for right a way.
Don´t let if affect you for a year or longer. Put something together right away. It might not be the total answer, but you must start walking.
Life doesn´t give us what we need, it gives us what we deserve.


Have something new to focus on.
You can continue to focus on what isn´t working and what you have lost.
If you continue to do this you will eventually feel stuck in a negative pattern.

Or you can shift your focus onto what is possible for you.

Start by asking a few empowering questions.

What do I need to learn from this setback?
What is it here to tell me?
How can I avoid this in the future?
What small action step can I take... starting today that will change my situation? 


"Don't be afraid to start over again. 
This time you're not starting from scratch, you're starting from experience."
- Unknown


Learn from the lesson but make sure that you start taking some steps forward as quickly as possible.

Start walking from your desperate situation into a more empowering mode.
Start changing your philosophy and start to focus on what else you can do to make the situation change.

Start where you are.
Learn as you go.
Continue to take action.


"No matter how hard the past,
you can always begin again."
 - Buddha


Unfortunately a lot of people won´t start something because they don´t know how it is going to work out. They don´t have all the answers.
Of course you won´t have all the answers right away. You can learn as you go.
Just make sure that you start.


Tip!

Be willing to learn new strategies.
Be willing to make a new start.
Be willing to go again.



"Starting all over again is not bad. 
because when you restart,
you get another chance to make things right."
- Unknown


                                                        www.karinglannstam.com



Monday, March 13, 2023

The Future Belongs To The Curious

                                           "It's a crazy world out there. Be Curious." 

                                                               - Stephen Hawking




The more you are doing the same thing... the more you will get... of what you have already got. 

Is it time for a change in your life? Are you tired to get the same thing or the same result over and over again?

Are you curious enough to stop what you are doing right now and find some new answers? 

Maybe it's time for some new knowledge, wisdom and insights? 


"Stay curious, keep learning and keep growing. And always strive to be more interested than interesting." 

- Jane Fonda


In today's world everything is changing so fast.

Are you also changing or are you doing the same thing over and over again?

Are you open to new ideas?

When was the last time you tried something new?

If you haven't done or tried anything new lately then  how can you know that there isn't a better way of doing what you are doing right now? Maybe there is... and you just haven't found it yet, because you have not been curious enough in the past to find out for yourself.

Have you ever run into people that will say to you... "This have worked in the past, it is working now and I or we will continue to do it this way. We have always done it this way and we are not going to change now."

In other words they are not open for anything new.
It's like doing the same thing over and over again... expecting a different result.
If you are living with that attitude... you will be left behind. 


"Let your curiosity be greater than your fear.

- Pema Chödrön


We must learn to be more open to new ideas. Don't get me wrong, I don't think all new ideas are good. Some should be tossed straight into the garbage. But we must try to open our minds a little more often to ideas that might help us make our lives better and to move us into the future more prepared.

One thing that I have noticed with a lot of people is that they seldom ask any questions. I don't understand why they don't, because that is how you find out new things. I am so curious myself that I don't understand it when people don't have any questions.

One theory is that people don't want to ask question because they don't want to appear stupid. We have to get over that. We can't know everything and besides that asking questions is perfect for finding out.

I also believe that a lot of people are not curious. They are so wrapped up in their own little world and they only care about themselves. 


"Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas." 

- Marie Curie


So what can you do about this?

First is to become curious. Be curious about other people and what they do, their experiences and what they know. A lot of people are like treasure chests.... filled with years of wisdom, insight, knowledge and experiences.

Second is to ask. Don't be shy... ask questions. And a lot of them. People usually love to tell you about their lives and share what they know.

Third is to flood your mind. Read books, articles in the paper and online. Listen to seminars live or online. Join a new group.

Fourth is to be flexible. Have a mind that is open to new ideas, new ways of doing things. Try some new and different experiences. Shake things up a little. Get out of your comfort zone. 

Fifth is stop talking and start listening. How can you learn anything if you are talking all the time?


"I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious." 

- Albert Einstein 


Remember... If you change nothing - Nothing will ever change




                                                          www.karinglannstam.com


Monday, March 6, 2023

Get Back On Track And Never Give Up

                                                          Resilience: Never give up. 

                                                  Fall down seven times, get up eight.

                                                                - Japanese Proverb




What does resilience mean? 

The ability to return to the original form, position after being bent, compressed, or stretched.

The ability to recover readily from illness, depression, setback or adversity.

In other words being able to withstand setbacks both personal and in business.
Being able to withstand a broken heart, broken dreams, divorce, betrayal, financial crisis or loss of a loved one.


How would you handle it if you lost everything you had today?

Could you handle it?

What would your next step be?

What would it take for you to bounce back?

How long would you be depressed, sad, upset and angry?

Could you learn from your loss or setback?

How resilient are you? 


"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming of it." 
- Helen Keller


A Resilient Person

Insight - Have the ability to ask tough questions of yourself. To be honest with the answers. Be responsible and to admit to yourself if you had anything to do with the loss or the setback.

Independence - Count only on yourself to be able to bounce back in life.

Resilience is also tied to others - The more people that you are responsible for the stronger the motivation is to begin again. The stronger the reason the stronger the action.

Initiative - The ability to take charge of your situation. The ability to take charge of the problem. The ability to stand back up after being knocked down and to do what is necessary to get back on track.

Creative - Be able to look at the situation and to creatively determine the best way out. To look for solutions and not to focus on the problem.

Humor - Having a sense of humor is very important if you are trying to turn your life around. It is great to be able to laugh at yourself and the situation. Remember... this too shall pass.

Morality - What ever you do to get back on your feet make sure that it is moral. Make sure that your comeback is at the service of others and not at the expense of others.


"Life doesn´t get any easier and more forgiving,
we get stronger and more resilient."
- Steve Maraboli


Stand up! Always bounce back after a set back. Figure out why the setback or crisis happened. Figure out what part you were responsible for so it won't happen in the future.

Start to plan for your life again.

Positive self talk is a must. Focus on keeping the negative voice out. Your negative voices and also the negative voices of others.

Avoid blame. Get on with life. Begin again.

Have a lot of self-appreciation and faith. Know that you have the skills and the strength to do it all over again. One more time.

You can't sit back and dwell on what happened.

Get back on track and never ever give up! 


"Resilience is knowing that you are the only one who has the power 
and the responsibility to pick yourself up." 
- Mary Holloway


                                                                  www.karinglannstam.com