Lessons In Life

                                   No matter who tries to teach you lessons about life, 

                        you won't understand it until you go through it on your own. 

The story that I want to share with you today I came across many years years ago and I think it has a very powerful message. 

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted to change. So he set out on a journey through the forest and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a stream.

The stream was wide and deep, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any other way across. He walked upstream for a bit and then back downstream, looking for a way to get across to the other side. he came upon a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream.

"Hellooo, Mr. Frog!" the scorpion said in his nicest voice, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the stream?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you won't sting me?" asked the frog.

"I would never do that," the scorpion replied. "If I sting you, then I would drown along with you, for I cannot swim."

Now this made sense to the frog, but he was still suspicious. "Yes that's true, but how do I know you won't sting me anyway?"

"I would have to be crazy to do that." the scorpion reassured him. "I don't want to die. I just want to get to the other side of the stream."

"You have a got a point there." said the frog as he mulled it over.

Finally the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. "OK, I'll take you across. Hop on my back and we'll get going. Just be careful with your stinger."

"Sure, sure of course, " the scorpion replied.

He crawled onto the frog's back and the frog slid into the river. The water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown.
He kicked strongly through the stream, his webbed feet paddling surely and steadily against the current.
But about halfway across the stream, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"What have you done?" croaked the frog, looking back over his shoulders at his passenger. "Why on earth did you sting me? Now we both are going to drown!"

"I couldn't help myself." The scorpion shrugged as he sank with the frog. It's just my nature."

This little short story reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.....

"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time"     

- Maya Angelou

Believe people when they tell you who they are... because they know themselves better than you do.

If someone tells you that they lie to other people... guess what... they will lie to you too.

If someone gossips about other people in from of you... they will gossip about you.

If people show that they can't be trusted... don't trust them.

Trust people to be who they are. Know that they will behave in keeping with their character.

"Some people come into your life as blessings. Some come into your life as lessons."

 - Mother Teresa

Tip!

If your friend is a liar... deal with him/her accordingly. You expect him/her to lie. You can still be a friend, just recognize who you are dealing with and take appropriate steps to protect yourself.  Accept the way he/she is but don't allow it to have a negative impact on you.

Some Food For Thought!

Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.

                                                                 www.karinglannstam.com

The Importance Of Having Good Friendships

                             "Friendships take time and energy if it's going to work. 

                                                You can luck into something great, 

                           but it doesn't last if you don't give it proper appreciation. 

            Friendships can be comfortable, but nurture it - don't take it for granted." 

                                                                           - Betty White

Are you a true friend? 

In this culture of "being busy" all the time... do you take time to nurture your old friendships and create new ones?

Do you always send a text-message, a message via Facebook or emails instead of actually taking the time to pick up the phone to connect with friends and family members or even better, meet in person?

Do you stay in in touch with people? Do you initiate conversation or do you always let the other person reach out to you?

Do you plan to get together in person... or are you too busy with working or other busy-work?

Are you spending countless hours at work and not having time for friends or family, so that you can buy the latest  car, a bigger house, fancy vacations, expensive designer clothing or the latest technical gadgets?

If this sounds like you... you might want to stop and think for a minute about something...
What happens the day when you can't work all the time or if you get sick for any reason end up in the hospital?
Will that new fancy car... the big house... or the latest computer come and visit you in the hospital?

This is why it is so important to have friends and family and to always take time to nurture those relationships.

"True friendships isn't about being there when it's convenient. 

It's about being there when it's not."

Remember to have friends, you also have to be a friend. 

Don't spend time on the cellphone when you are together with other people. Put your phone away and be fully present with the people you are spending time with. They deserve 100 percent of you.

Don't be so busy that you don't have time for you friend and family. Remember this is not a dress rehearsal... this is it! We don't get a second chance at life.

So the next time you are tempted to just connect with email, text-message, or Facebook... maybe it would be great to pick up the phone instead to connect... or even better... meet in person.  

"Wishing to be a friend is quick work, 

but friendship is a slow ripening fruit." 

- Aristotle 

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Your Focus Determines Your Reality

                                      "You life is controlled by what you focus on." 

                                                                   - Tony Robbins

Did you know that out of every hour - people spend 20 minutes on interruptive messages?

Then it is estimated that it will take you about 7-15 minutes to get back to what you were doing before you answered the phone call, text or email. I even heard that it might take as long as 25 minutes to be able to refocus on the task or job. 

"What you stay focused on will grow."

 - Roy T. Bennet

So in an 8 hour workday you are wasting  160 minutes on interruptive messages. That is 2 hours and 40 minutes per day.

You are wasting or consuming 2 hours and 40 minutes and you can't get that time back.

TV is bad enough but what is worse is computers and cell phones because they are interactive.

If you don't turn it off,  it will be like a jar of M&M's - you keep reaching for it. 

"Starve your distractions. Feed your focus." 

- Anonymous

                                                                 www.karinglannstam.com

Is This Right For You?

                                                Everyone seems to have a clear idea
                                       on how other people should lead their lives,
                                                     but none about his or her own.

We all have to be respectful of other peoples recoveries, paths or journeys in life.
We must learn to mind our own business.

There are always several paths that will lead to the same thing.
In other words, there are several paths that will lead to the top of the mountain.
It really doesn´t matter how you get there.
The important thing is that you actually get to where you want to go.

I have met so many people that have been trying to tell me or convince me that their way is the only way for me to accomplish what I am trying to accomplish.
Their way of solving a problem or accomplishing a particular goal is the right way or the only way to do it.
It might be their way of doing something but it is never the only way. 

"Do what you think in right. 

Don't let people make the decisions of right or wrong for you." 

- Steve Maraboli

You should listen to many different people. Listen to what they have to say. Learn from their experiences that they are sharing. 

You can take advice from people but never take orders from them.

Everyone must figure out what will work best for them.
Through my own battles and life-lessons, I have found out that there is usually a combination of several things that will work the best.
There is no such thing as One Size Fits All.

Be respectful of other peoples journeys.
It might not be the right one for you... but for them it is the perfect path.

You don´t have the right to tell people what to do or try to control them.
You don´t have the right to help anyone else unless they ask you. 

You have to do what is right for you. 

Nobody else is walking in your shoes.

You can present an experience to others and you can be a living example of what it is to have been changed by your own experience.
What you have learned through your own battles and storms.
How you turned your breakdown into a breakthrough.
How you handled it and what worked for you.

If someone wants to know... they will ask you.
Lead by example. Never not by forcing your advice and opinions onto others.


When I write my blogs and newsletters I often write about what has worked for me. My own experience.
I also write about what I have learned from other people that have travelled a similar path before me. What has worked for them.

Take the information that makes sense to you and leave the rest.

Don't let people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself. 

Always...

Be curious

Have and open mind.

Do your own research.

Think for yourself.

You are the CEO of your own life. Only YOU can decide what is right for YOU.

                                                                            www.karinglannstam.com

Our Habits, Good Or Bad, Will Deliver Results

                                    "Your habits will determine your quality of life." 

                                                                     - Dennis Waitly

Have you ever tried to break a habit or tried to create a new healthier one?

We all know that breaking old habits are very difficult, especially if you have had the same habit for many years.

Creating a new habit is also very difficult. Even if you know that this new habit will be good for you, it will most of the time require some kind of effort and discipline that the bad habit didn´t require.
Bad habits are easy to develop but difficult to deal with in the long run. Good habits will be more difficult to develop but a lot easier to live with.

When people are trying to change something whether it is their diet, starting to exercise, starting to save money instead of spending it.... one big mistake a lot of people make is that they try do too much too soon. They want to see some results quickly.
By doing too much too soon they will set themselves up for failure and going back into a relapse. In other words, they will loose their momentum. 

"A change in habits leads to a change in life." 

- Jenny Craig

Nothing wrong with a great vision of seeing yourself as healthy and in great shape, but the way you go about it might not be the best way. Your vision is great but your plan to achieve it not so good.
Most great dreams and visions will require smaller goals. Like daily, weekly and monthly goals.
We can call them stepping stones.

If you haven´t been eating healthy in a long time, it might be too big of a goal for you to start eating mostly veggies, fruit, fish and barely nothing else You might be excited for a few days until you realize that you don´t even like broccoli, grapefruit or salmon. Instead a great daily goal can be to replace an unhealthy snack with a fruit and then to drink plenty of water. Add a vegetable to your meal and cut back on bread, pasta or rice. Get used to the new routine for a week or two. Then add a few more healthy choices. If you change too quickly you will easily get bored when you don't see any results and you might even quit after a few days. 

"Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a  lot more rewarding.

 - Harvey MacKay

The same thing happens to people that haven´t exercised in a couple of years. They decide to go running a couple of miles because they were able to that distance 5 years ago. If you have been sitting on the couch for a few years you might want to start with walking a mile or two, 3 times per week. When your body gets used to this you can either increase the distance or the amount of times per week that you exercise. People can easily get hurt if they start doing to much. They end up on the couch with a sore ankle and they won´t get started again for another year.
Don´t let this be you. Start small and increase slowly. Build momentum by taking baby steps.
It´s about the habit, not the amount

How about saving money. If you are used to spending all of your paycheck and then some, you might not be able to start saving $500 per month. You might have to start with cutting up your credit cards and open a savings account. Then you start with maybe saving $25-50 per month plus you decide to stay out of the stores, to not be tempted to buy something that you do not need. Slowly you can increase the amount you save and after a while you will be surprised how much money you will have in your savings account and you will realize that you 

don´t even miss shopping anymore.
Again, it is about establishing a new habit and not about the amount. 

"We first make our habits then our habits make us." 

- John Dryden

What you are trying to do is to get yourself used to a new habit, mentally. You are developing self-discipline. Self-discipline is a muscle and a lot of people haven´t used this particular muscle for a very long time. It is easy to plan but it isn´t that easy to actually put the plan into action. That is when discipline comes in. Self discipline is to do the things that you decided that you were going to do, when you are suppose to do them, no matter if you feel like doing it or not.
You have to motivate yourself to get going and to actually do the thing you said you were going to do.

In the beginning it is easy to be excited about a new goal.
You decided to run 3 miles per week even though you haven´t ran for years. How long do you think you will be able to continue to do it when you are getting bored, tired, running out of time and feeling unmotivated and you would rather watch TV or checkout FB?

 "Good or bad, habits always deliver results." 

- Jack Canfield

How about if you decide that you are going to go for one mile walk 3 times per week. Do you think that you will be able to do it during those days when you don´t feel like doing it? I think so.
It is a lot easier to start with a small habit and allow it to grow, than to do it the other way.

It is more a mental thing. You are creating a habit in your mind. You are creating self-discipline. Nothing much will happen in the beginning with a small habit but if you stick with it , it will grow and after a while it will be hard to quit your new habit. If you continue your habit of walking and then adding some more miles then one day you will wake up and you will realize that you are now a runner. Your life has been transformed. Mile by mile and day by day.

Your future is determined by your willingness to create small habits and then actually following these habits until you accomplish your dream. 

Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.

Yiddish Proverb

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