Nourish Your Soul

                                                             "The soul, like the body,

                                                             lives by what it feeds on."

                                                                       - J. G. Holland

Are you spending time on one or maybe even several activities that doesn´t give you the juice that it used to do?

Is it worth to continue doing this particular activity(s)?

Is it stealing some of your time and energy? Taking away valuable time that would be of better used on a different activity?

Get rid of the stuff that doesn´t have a real purpose in your life. The stuff that doesn´t give you the juice it once did.

Get rid of things that doesn´t have the outcome that relates to what you truly want. 

"Reconnect with the real you and with your soul purpose." 

- Melissa Hughes


Great Questions to ponder on!

What is something I do that I don´t want to do that I have done for a long time?
Something that will not take me to where I want to go in life?
What am I focusing on that doesn´t serve me anymore?

Activity without purpose is a drain on your soul, your fulfillment, your spirit, your relationships and also your body. 

Your diet is not only what you eat. 

It's what you watch, 

what you listen to, 

what you read, 

and the people you hang around. 

Pay attention to what you feed  your soul, not just your stomach.


If you do an activity day in and day out that won´t take you in the direction of your dream(s) and if you are not getting the desired outcome that you are looking for... stop doing it!

Don´t do something just to look "busy" to other people. Don´t do it because someone else wants you to do it. 

Don´t do something to fit in and don´t do something so you can get approval and attention from others.
Don´t mistake movement for achievement.

Make sure that what you are doing feeds your soul. 

Learn to trust your inner knowing. Learn to trust what is right and what is wrong for you. Don´t allow other people to decide for you. 

Your soul is the power and the core of who you are. Feed it well.

                                                          www.karinglannstam.com

Your True Purpose

        "The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul."

                                                             - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Addiction is something we do in the moment. Joy or pleasure. It is a temporary escape. It will never lead to lasting happiness. The pleasure is only for the moment.

Addiction is any behavior that you create that will give you some relief or pleasure and also has negative consequences. But you don´t give it up despite the negative consequences in your life.

Addiction can be a substance like cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, sugar, food or caffeine.
Or it can be a behavior like shopping, gambling, watching TV, web surfing, sex or scrolling FB.

You can go after anything addicting even healthy things like exercising, yoga or spirituality.
These healthy behaviors only become addictive if they are an escape from yourself and doing them while ignoring other important needs, your family or other relationships.
Then they will become an addiction.

You are going after a particular experience. A special outcome - a feeling  - expectation. 

"Activity without purpose is the drain of your life." 

- Tony Robbins 

Addiction can also be a surrogate for our true calling in life.
We are truly afraid to go after what we really want in life.

Why?
Because to follow our true calling requires us to step into the light. To be seen. To take chances. Risk the chance of failure. Being judged by others. Standing out. Being different than others. Not feeling good enough. Not going along to get along.

To follow our true calling requires a lot of work. It´s not easy and it will probably hurt. It demands us to step out of our comfort zone and we will risk exposure.

So instead we choose a career that isn´t our own choice. It could be something our parents wanted us to do. Or our peer group or society. Sometime we rather fit in with the group instead of carving our own path.

We stay on a job that we dislike, that doesn't lead us to anything and it won´t make us grow - because it will give us security.

We stay in soul-sucking relationships - instead of leaving the relationship for something different that will truly feed our soul.

We know we want adventure in life - but instead we settle for a quiet lifestyle that will slowly make our soul wither away. 

"The purpose of life is to find your gift. 

The purpose of life is to give it away." 

- Pablo Picasso


Maybe you are living in the past or dreaming about the future, while failing to do the work that is required to make progress in the present.

Now instead of doing what you know you "must" do. You escape from yourself and your life for a while with some type of addiction. At least while using some substance or doing a certain behavior - for the moment you won´t feel the pain.
But it´s temporary.
The feeling won´t last.

"Find purpose. The means will follow."

 - Mahatma Gandhi

What is addiction doing for you?

Why don't you want to be yourself at this moment?

                                                               www.karinglannstam.com

Turn Your Pain Into Wisdom

                                           "Most people manage pain by eating, drinking, 

                                     smoking, distracting themselves, working harder. 

                                                            That's just managing pain, 

                    the pain that comes from not feeling fully alive from not growing. 

                                                                       - Tony Robbins 

A lot of people are trying to run from pain and their problems with some form of addiction.

We can never run away from our pain and our problems.
In life, we will all will have good days and also bad days. Good times and bad times. We will feel good, but we will also feel bad. We will have setbacks and smooth sailing. It is completely normal.
No person has only good days. It doesn´t matter who you are... you will have problems, you will feel bad and you will have setbacks in your life. It is part of living. 

"The cure for pain is the pain." - Rumi

Society has told us for years that we should not have to feel bad, and if we do there are so many ways of avoiding it or fixing it. If it is only for the moment.

Some people don´t ever want to feel bad, sad or to feel any kind of pain. They always want to feel good in the moment. In order to feel good at every moment of your life you might have to turn to some kind of addiction or addictive behavior to be able to create the desired feeling or avoiding the feelings that you don´t want.

We have become a society filled with pain relievers. Drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, food, sugar, caffeine, gambling, sex, shopping, relationship hopping, endless complaining and gossiping, always helping others or busyness... just to name a few.

All these methods are a way of disconnecting and avoiding pain. (if done excessively and with the intention to escape reality)
Maybe you tell yourself... "I don´t want to feel this way right now so I will numb out and escape from the moment." And off you go digging through the refrigerator for something to eat, even though you are hungry. Or you go shopping, gambling or get busy checking emails and FB.

Don´t postpone your pain to the future.
The disconnect from the pain is only temporary. You don´t want to feel the feeling right now so you are postponing it to later. 

"Not why the addiction, but why the pain." - Gabor Mate

What is underneath the feeling? What is it that you are avoiding by numbing out?

By disconnecting and continuing to disconnect with things like addiction you are slowly but surely isolating yourself. It is like an endless black hole or bottomless pit. The more you feed it with some kind of addiction the more it wants. There will never be enough stuff to fill up that black hole from the outside. It must be filled from the inside.

What pain are you trying to avoid?
If you are trying to avoid it today, it will come back knocking on your door tomorrow, next week or next month. You can never get rid of your pain by ignoring it. But you can deal with it by accepting it.

Addiction is the easy way out. The more pleasurable way. Trying to avoid pain by adding pleasure. 

"Can't escape the pain, kiddo. Battle through it and you get stronger." 

- Laurie Halse Anderson

Instead try to find the root of the problem. Find the original wound, clean it out and then heal it.
It will take a lot of work to discipline yourself and your mind.
It is so much easier to disconnect from yourself with some addiction or addictive behavior.

Learn to self-sooth because anything you reach for out there won´t help you to fix your problem and the emptiness on the inside.
Tell the truth... what are you trying to avoid?

Accept the situation, instead of running from it. Sit in your pain and your discomfort. Don´t fight it.
Instead ask... what is this pain teaching me? Learn from it.
Now... what can you do and how can you take the right action?

It is painful to tell the truth. It´s painful to tell people who we really are. It is easy to float the truth.
It is easy to tell ourselves that we will think about the problem tomorrow. Pushing it forward to the next week, month or year.

It´s addictive, but it´s only an escape from the real problem.

The pain you feel today is tomorrows strength.

Suffer and endure. Someday this pain will be useful to you.

The attempt to escape from pain, is what create more pain.

                                                        www.karinglannstam.com

When You Let Go You Create Space For Something Better

                                                     You can't reach for anything new 

                                        if you hands are filled with yesterday's junk

Is it time to unload some messed up things, people and situations in your life?

Why are you hanging onto these people, situations and things?

Are you afraid that you won't find something better?
Is that why you are still with that man/woman that you have absolutely zero in common with and he/she doesn't support your dream? And remaining in this relationship, you have now gained an extra 50 pounds.
Time to let them go.

Why are you still at a job that you hate and where you know you will never make more money than what you are making right now? No opportunity for advancement. And besides that it constantly stresses you out and it makes you go shopping for things that you don't want. And eating things that you really don't want to eat, but doing this calms your nerves.
Does it feel safe and secure? But at the same time you are bored out of your mind. Is it worth staying where you are and never taking the opportunity to find out what you are really made of? What your gifts and talents are? What you have to offer the world that no one else has? You know, you only live once. You don't get a do-over.
Time to let it go.

Are you staying with a group of people because they are on the same level as you?
Maybe broke, miserable, angry, addicted, gossipers with no goals and no vision for the future. Why are you still hanging out with them? Are you afraid to break away, because if you do you must get out of your comfort zone and stop doing the same old things that you have been doing for the last 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years? And you have to start doing things that scares the crap out of you?
Time to let them go.

How about all that clutter in you house, why are you hanging onto broken lamps, furniture, rugs, curtains that you will never use again.
How about you closet. Isn't it about time you got rid of the clothes that you wore in high school, or the suit that your dad wore when you were a kid. Why are you hanging onto these things?
Time to let it go. 

The more you let go, the higher you rise.

Yes, I know that you want things to get better in your life. We all want that.
But in order for something better to show up in your life, you must first create a space for it.
In other words, you first have to get rid of that crappy job before you will get a new one. Or at least start looking for a better one, starting today. Yes, you have to get rid of people that are not supporting you and your dream, before you can attract some better ones into your life. 

"In the process of letting go, 

you will lose many things from your past, 

but you will find yourself." 

- Deepak Chopra

Get rid off clutter in your life.
Clean out your closet, your house, your car, check on your friends. Decide who can stay and who needs to go.

Check on where you spend your time.
Do you really want to continue to give your time every Tuesday to this volunteer group, if they don't appreciate you? Do you want to show up on Wednesday mornings for this networking group if they are not supportive of you? Do you want to continue to spend time with groups or people that are not taking you in the direction of your dream?

First you must create a vacuum, before something better will show up in its place.

The tricky part is that you first have to let go of what isn't working. What you can see, hear and touch.
Then trust that the Universe will bring you something much better. Something that is more in alignment of who you are. Something that you haven't yet seen, heard or touched.

You have to believe it before you can see it.
Be convinced that the Universe will bring you something absolutely awesome.
It's called Faith. You must believe that what is in front of you is better than what is behind you.

"Let go of who you thought your life should be, 

and embrace the life that is trying to work

its way into your consciousness."

- Caroline Myss

Have the guts to do what is needed, not what is convenient. 

                                                              www.karinglannstam.com

Challenges Will Activate The Potential In You

                                                   "Soul work is not a high road.
                                        It is a deep fall into an unforgiving darkness
                  that won´t let you go until you find the song that sings you home."

Have you ever heard the expression "The dark night of the soul"?

What is it?

It is a term that goes back a long time.
The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die.
Often it is an awakening process. The death of the old self and the birth of the true self.

It can be triggered by an external event such as a disaster, the death of someone close to you or a life that you have planned that suddenly collapses.
Some kind of disaster which seem to invalidate the meaning that your life had before.
Nothing makes sense anymore and there´s no purpose to anything.

The dark night of the soul is a kind of re-birth.
You are losing your old identification. Your previous identity is lost and you don´t yet have an identification of what is new and what is emerging.

You are in the dark. You don´t know where you are and where you are going.
Like feeling lost in the darkness of a forest. You can´t go back and you don´t know which path to follow. Or maybe there isn´t even a path. You have to make your own.

You remember who you used to be, but you know that you are not that person anymore.
Who are you becoming? You don´t know that either, at this point.

It is dark and it is painful. Very painful.
The dark night is filled with fear and disconnect. 

"The dark night of the soul is when you have lost the flavor of life but have not yet gained the fullness of divinity. So it is that we must weather the dark time, the period of transformation when what is familiar has been taken away and the new richness is not yet ours. "

- Ram Dass

Why is it so painful?
Because you are getting rid of the old. (Like a snake shedding its skin).
The Universe is pushing you. Giving you pain until you can articulate a new vision and purpose for your life.

The old life is no longer who you are. Your new vision for your life is what you are becoming.
The pain will keep on pushing you until you will get pulled by a bigger vision for your life.

You were actually on the wrong path in your old life and that is why it was giving you so much pain.
(When your life path is starting to hurt you, you are on the wrong path.)
And it got worse and worse until you could not take it anymore and you had to enter the dark night of the soul.

The pain is forcing you into having a vision.
A vision that is bigger than the pain.

When you are beginning to have a vision of what is possible for your life you will start to get pulled by it. 

" The dark night of the soul is a journey into light, a journey from your darkness into the strength and hidden resources of your soul."

- Carolyn Myss

When you can describe and embrace your vision you can start to walk in that direction.
You can start to align yourself with what is possible for your life instead of remaining on a path that was never meant for you in the first place.

Instead of being stuck you can now walk in the direction of your potential and your possibilities.

When you start walking the path of your true purpose, The Universe doesn´t need to hit you with pain as much.

Challenges will activate the potential in you.
The dark night of the soul is a very difficult time but it is a time for marvelous growth.
You hang on and you persist through the dark night of the soul because you can´t conceive going back to your old ways of life. That would be like going back to prison.

The dark night of the soul is about transformation.
Leaving the old and entering a higher consciousness and your true nature.

You don´t go through a deep personal transformation
 without some kind of dark night of the soul."

-  Sam Keen

                                                                   www.karinglannstam.com

10 Ways To Handle Stress

                                    A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled

                                                                  stress extraordinary well.

There isn't anything wrong with having some stress in our lives. But if we have too much for a longer period of time, stress can affect us in a negative way. Balance is key.

If you have been dealing with a lot of stress lately and for an extended period of time, it might be a good thing to slow down and take it a little easy for a while.
This way, stress won't overwhelm you and it won't have a negative effect on your health and your wellbeing.

Stress isn't just a negative thing. To have a lot to do isn't always a bad thing. Quite the opposite.
We need a little stress to get us going. It will help us focus and to prioritize and it will a lot of times make us more creative.
We actually need the good stress to get us off the couch and get us going. Without it, we wouldn't dare to take chances, we wouldn't start over again after a setback or crisis and we would constantly procrastinate.
The perfect thing would be to have a little stress on a regular basis. It will make us healthier and it will make us feel more alive.

Stress that is negative for our wellbeing is the one that will last for a long time. And if we are bad at handling the stress it can lead to undesirable consequences for our bodies and our wellbeing.
We all need to make sure that we get enough time to relax and enough time to re-charge our batteries. If we don't it will often lead to feeling stressed, overwhelmed and eventually burnout.

To completely avoid stress isn't good either. Our brain needs to stay active and it gets better with learning new things. In other words, our brain needs to be stimulated and it needs to practice handling stress. So if your brain never gets to experience stress at all, it will eventually get very bad at handling just a little bit of stress.

The brain is like a muscle. You have to work it on a regular basis for it to get better. The key is not to overwork it for a longer period of time without any rest, relaxation and some fun. 

"Our greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." 

- William James

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

- Albert Einstein

 A Few Tips How to Handle Stress

Balance is key. Try not to get overstimulated at the same time as you don't want to get understimulated either. Work hard for a few hours and then make sure you take a break. Then you can work hard again and then relax.

If you have worked very hard for a longer period of time then try to take it a little easy for a while.
If you have had a tough time at work or in your private life, learn to take a step back and enjoy some down time. Same thing if you have been doing too little for a while make sure you step up the pace.

Variety is a great. If you have been in meetings all day make sure that you have some alone time at night. Or if you have been alone during the day you might need to get out of the house in the evening and enjoy some kind of activity with family or friends.

Down time doesn't mean that you do absolutely nothing. If you have been using your brain all day you might enjoy a slow walk in the woods with your dog in the evening. Or start a new hobby.

Avoid worrying and overthinking. Easier said than done. I know!!!
Remember that your brain will get better at what it is practicing.
So if you are worrying a lot, guess what? Your brain will get better at worrying.
Worrying is just a bad habit and you do have control over your own thoughts and what you focus on.

Learn to focus on what you do want, instead of what you don't want.

If you are stressed about not having enough time you might want to take a closer look at where you are spending your time. Write it down for a couple of days and your will quickly see where you are wasting time.
In the end it comes down to learning to prioritize.

Laugh and have some fun. Laughing is a great stress relief. Watching a funny movie after a tough day at work is a fantastic way to relax and feel good.

Reward yourself often. Create a few small weekly rewards for yourself for being able to relax and taking some steps back. It can be inviting a friend for a cup of coffee. A wonderful bubble-bath or buy yourself a small gift.

Create meaningful and low stress relationships with family and friends.

Nothing is permanent. 

Don't stress yourself too much because no matter how bad the situation is... it will change.

"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle."

- Christian D. Larson

                                                                     www.karinglannstam.com

I'm Looking For Finishers

                                           "Beginners are many; finishers are few."

                                                                 - Stephen R. Covey

Have you ever been to someone's house to find out that they are buried in unfinished projects?

They are building a few new cabinets in the kitchen.
They are adding a new shower in the bathroom.
The floor in the living room is being replaced.
The plumbing is under construction in the laundry room.
All the walls upstairs are being painted.

This sounds exhausting but it actually happens. People take on way too many projects at the same time and they don't finish either one. This will eventually cause a lot of stress to the people living in this house and it will cause a lot of stress in general. Knowing that you have all these unfished project and not having the energy to finish either one.
If you come back to the house six months later... same thing. No progress to talk about and they might have even added another project.

I think we can all agree that we don't want to live in that house. At least I know... I don't.

"Stick to a task until it sticks to you... for beginners are many, but finishers few." 

- Thomas S. Monson

But we don't recognize that a lot of us will actually do the same thing in our lives.
The above example is so easy to recognize. But a lot of times we can't see or we don't want to face it and admit what we are doing in our own lives (or don't do).

People love to start new projects or maybe even a new business. And sometimes people will even do this when it comes to relationships. A new relationship is always fun in the beginning and it makes you feel wonderful just like a new business or project will.

Yes... everything is fun in the beginning. All your friends and your family are onboard and they are cheering you on. It is something new and often very exciting.
But what happens a couple of months into the project when you are running out of energy, your friends are busy with their own lives and they don't care so much anymore, and no one is there to cheer you on... but you?
What happens when it's not fun anymore? What happens when you get frustrated and easily distracted? What happens when the motivation, inspiration and self-discipline is fading?

Now you quit or you jump into something new that will give you a new inspiration and a burst of energy.
You are now excited again... at least  for a while until this new thing becomes boring or you see no results.
Can you see the pattern here?

A lot of people will start new things. It doesn't matter if it is a new business, new health-plan, a financial plan or a new relationship. It is fun to start, but very few people will finish what they actually started.
A lot of people are actually living in the house in the example above. They have started way too many projects and finished none.

Time to change this!
Make commitment to yourself that this time you will finish what you started. No matter what. It doesn't matter if no one is there to cheer you on or you haven't seen any results for a while.
Be committed.
Finish one thing at a time.
Don't start anything new until you have finished the previous project.
It is a known fact that it is very difficult to finish the last 5-10% of almost any project.

It will become very stressful to live with a lot of unfinished project around you and it won't boost your self-esteem or you confidence.

This is stress that you don't need in your life. It's stress that is under your control and that can be avoided.

When you start something and you finish it... it will be the greatest feeling and you must celebrate!!!

It's great to start... but you must also finish.

"When it's all said and done, the finish line doesn't care how many miles you had to run  or how fast you have gone. It just cares that you arrive. That you finish what you started."

- Fellou Flowers

                                                            www.karinglannstam.com