follow its owner everywhere."
- Chinese Proverbs
When was the last time you read an educational book....cover to cover?
Do you even remember?
If you don't.....you are not alone.
I read a lot of books when I was a teenager and also in my early twenties. But after I got married and moved to the US, I seldom read a book.
I believe this is very common for a lot of people. As soon as school and our education is over, we feel like we don't need to read and learn anymore, so we stop reading books, except for some fictional books that we read once in a while.
In April of 2010 all of that changed for me.
At that time I was told by my therapist that the man that I was in a relationship with was a narcissist.
Heck, I didn't know much at that time about what it meant to be a narcissist. I just knew that they were usually very selfish. At this time I had sought the help from a therapist, because the man that I was with, was acting very strange and being in a relationship with him, made me feel extremely bad, anxious and uncomfortable. It got worse as the days went by, and I couldn't understand why.
After my therapist told me that the man that I was with was narcissistic, I started my research online into narcissism. Back then 10 years ago, people wasn't talking as much about narcissism as they do today and at that time there wasn't as much information online and not as many books to buy, as you can find today. But I searched and immersed myself in reading and learning as much as I could about narcissism. I read article after article. And I listen to countless podcasts and I bought books at Barnes & Noble, to try figure out what I was dealing with at home.
Starting my research into narcissism in 2010, saved my life.
After reading and learning for a while, I understood what I was dealing with when it came to my narcissistic partner and our relationship. I understood what was going on, and after a while I could anticipate his next move(s). I did all of this to understand and also to protect myself, so I wasn't going to get hurt. Because this man was emotionally and psychologically abusive and he was manipulating and using brainwashing techniques to control me.
I left him in 2012, and I don't have any contact with this man today.
After I had left the relationship I read and learned a lot more about narcissism and why some people become narcissistic, and also the best way to deal with these kinds of people in the future, when we run into them again. Because we will.
Reading books and articles, listening to audio-books, podcasts and webinars, changed my life, forever.
Fast forward 10 years. Today a lot more people are now talking about narcissism, and unfortunately there are a lot of people who has become victims to narcissistic abuse. I won't say that I am expert when it comes to this subject, but I know a lot about narcissism. First I had the experience with a narcissist and then I have spent countless hours researching the subject.
Today I don't read a lot about narcissism, but once in a while I have to do some more research.
Today I focus completely on personal development. I also started reading books, blogs, listening and attending seminars online on this topic, back in 2010.
During these past 10 years I have no idea on how many books or articles that I have read, as I continue to read on a daily basis. I have no idea on how many online podcasts and seminars that I have listen to during these past 10 years, but I know it's a lot.
I love to learn and I feel I must continue to learn, grow and expand so that I can become and handle things better.
And by constant never ending learning, I can also better serve my coaching clients, write my books, and build my coaching business. (My own coaching business got started in 2012)
When GOD want to give you a gift, he wraps it up in a problem.
Today I am grateful for what happened to me back in 2010, because it woke me up from sleepwalking through life and not using my gifts and living up to my full potential. At the end of the day I didn't feel like I was living my purpose. I was drifting in life and it was time for me to wake up and change myself and my life.
"Don't wish things were easier. Wish you were better."
"For things to get better for you, you have to get better."
Both quotes are by Jim Rohn. One of my favorite virtual mentors.
How do we get better? By developing ourselves.
How do we develop ourselves? By reading, learning, expanding, growing and trying new things.
In other words....by Personal Development.
We have to participate in our own recue
I don't know what is going on in your life right now.
Back in 2010, I was facing a very difficult situation. I was dealing with a partner that was abusive to me, so I started reading books about narcissism and emotional abuse, to help myself.
If you are facing problems in your marriage, start reading books on how to improve your intimate relationships.
Are you dealing with a bankruptcy or any other difficult financial situation, then read books about how to improve your finances.
Are you facing a serious illness, like cancer, then start helping yourself by reading about how you can can improve your health and fight cancer.
If you are dealing with any type of addiction, read books about how to beat the addiction and live a better and healthier life.
If you are having problems connecting with your kids, then find books on how to improve your relationships with you children.
If you want to be more successful in life, pick up a book about success.
Books are everywhere. Written by people that have gone through what you might be facing right now and they are telling us how they came through their difficulties that they were facing and how they improved their lives.
Remember that the books you don't read won't help you.
Here are just a few benefits of reading books
It will give us knowledge
It improves our brain
It improves our memory
It improves our imagination
It gives us ideas
It improves our focus and our concentration
It's never too late to start reading books and the beautiful thing about knowledge is that no one can take it away from you.
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