by setting healthy boundaries.
Do you have a tendency to attract needy and emotionally unhealthy people into your life?
I was talking to a client of mine a few weeks ago and one of her concerns that she had was that she felt that she would often attract emotionally unhealthy and needy people.
The problem with it she said is that the relationships starts off fine but after a while she feels like she is getting consumed by the needs and the demands of the other person so much that her own life was suffering.
But on the other hand she didn't want to end these relationships and she is wanting to remain friends with these people. But can you?
Can you remain friends with people who are needy and that will demand too much of you, and also your time?
Some people have a desire to save others and in the end it's actually more about them, than it is the emotionally unhealthy person.
Of course it is not a bad thing to try to help others but if you are you trying to fill a need or a void within yourself, that isn't getting met.....perhaps to feel wanted or loved than you will probably find yourself in these kinds of relationships.
If a friend(s) start to interfere too much with multiple aspects of your life....maybe it's time to let that person go?
Are you really helping them anyway?
Usually these kinds of people will demand a lot of your time but in the end they are often unwilling to change and to help themselves.
I always say.....it's almost impossible to help someone that doesn't want to help themselves.
We cannot change anyone's life if they are not willing to change themselves. Continuing these types of relationships makes no sense. Also remember to never invest more in a relationship than you can afford to lose.
Of course you should have empathy for other people.
And it's possible to help those in need without becoming enmeshed to the point that you are actually being dragged down.
Sometimes you have to help and love people from a distance and remain there unless they show you that they are first willing to help and to change themselves.
In the meantime you might want to do some inner work yourself.
Try to find out why you constantly get involved in these kinds of relationships.
Is it because you don't get your own needs met any other way?
Are you looking to get love, or wanting to feel needed, wanted or significant?
www.karinglannstam.com
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