you get to decide how to put yourself back together."
- Bryant McGill
This past Monday I was writing about storms that are happening in our lives.
No one can avoid storms. If you live long enough you will have to deal with crisis, setbacks, problems and obstacles. They are also part of this journey that we call life.
If you missed Monday's blog here it is.............The Perfect Storm
http://karinglannstam.blogspot.se/2017/10/the-perfect-storm.html
I don't know what is going on in your life right now.
Maybe you have just come through a crisis or storm and you are on your way to recuperate.
Maybe you are in the middle of a storm and your can't seem to find your way out of it at this moment. Or maybe you are about to enter a crisis right now.
If you haven't dealt with any crisis in your life yet......don't worry......they will show up.
No one can escape.
The important thing isn't trying to avoid the storm. Instead we must learn how to dance in the rain. We must learn better tools and strategies for dealing with crisis when they occur.
I wrote the book Bounce Don't Break - how to successfully get back on track..... last year and it was published in late Dec of 2016.
In the book I share about how my own life totally collapsed in 2012. It actually started in 2010 but it took 2 years before it totally fell into a thousand pieces.
During a presentation I did a little over a week ago I shared some tools with the audience. And today I will share some of these tools with you.
These are the tools that I used myself when I had to rebuild my life back in 2012.
Ask for help
You can't do it alone. You need someone to talk to. I know it is hard to ask for help. You feel weak if you ask for help. But you are not. Quite the opposite. You are actually strong when you ask for help.
If I had not asked for help I would not have found out from my therapist that the man I was in a relationship with and had been for 5 years was a narcissist. Life changing information and it explained a lot. It also helped me with my decision to later walk away from this relationship.
Ask for help from a therapist, doctor, coach, mentor or trusted friend or family-member.
Don't suffer in silence.
Grieve
You must grieve what you have lost. It might be a loved one that died. Maybe you lost a job or a business went under. You lost your money or your house and all your belongings. Maybe you had to flee from a country in war and now you are living in a brand new place. You lost you health and now you are dealing with a serious illness. A lot of times we have to grieve the life that we had planned.
Back in 2010 I had so many wonderful plans for my future and none of them happened. Of course I was devastated and I had to grieve. I had to go through the process and the process takes time. How long you grieve is different for everyone. Only you can decide how long it will take.
Just remember that grieving is necessary to be able to move on with our lives.
Take Care Of Your Health
This is a tough one because carrots and broccoli are never as soothing as a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine.
But your body is trying to heal and it needs healthy fuel to be able to get going again after the injury.
It's important that we pay attention to what we eat and drink.
I love sugar. Sugar is my best friend. Sugar is there when I am sad, happy, lonely, worried, angry, frustrated or disappointed. Sugar can keep me company on a lonely Friday evening as well as it can give me some quick energy when I need it. Both a pick-me-upper and a calm-me-downer. Sugar is always there for me. But unfortunately sugar won't solve anything and a lot of time it is just a temporary escape so it's better to not be trapped by it's promises and sweet taste.
Make sure you get moving. Go outside and get some fresh air. Walk in nature. Also make sure that you get good sleep. Around 7-8 hours is great. Not too much and not too little.
Fuel you body with good stuff. It's part of the healing process.
Create A Vision For Your Life
A new vision for your life will work as a magnet. It will eventually pull you through almost anything that is going on in your life.
Back in 2012 I decided that I was going to become a life coach and start my own coaching business. That was my magnet. Instead of focusing on all that I had lost I started to focus on how to rebuild my future. It was an awesome force and it helped my through the grieving process and also the daily stress of my life totally collapsing.
Create something with a purpose. Something new to focus on.
Let Go Of The Past
You can't drive a car by looking in the review mirror. If you do.....you will eventually crash. Same thing in life. You can't continue to live in the past and expect a new future. Learn form the past. Treat it as a school but don't live there. Start looking at what is possible for you right now and also what is possible for you in the future.
Create a belief that the life in front of you is going to be better that what you just left behind.
Celebrate Yourself And Your Progress
Every step forward that you take, must be celebrated. It doesn't matter how tiny it is....you must celebrate. In the beginning it will feel like one step forward, and then two back. This will go on for a while. A lot of times it feels like there is no progress. But as long as you keep on trying and keep on working..... you are making progress.
Little achievements are just as important as big ones.
Gratitude
Today I am grateful for what happened back in 2012. I was on the wrong path and I had lost the connection to myself. I needed to find myself again.
The crisis stopped me from continuing on the wrong path.
Be grateful for what you already have. Be grateful for family and friends. Be grateful for your body
Be grateful for your wounds. They have hopefully taught you a lot. Be grateful for the person you are today and what you have gone through. Be grateful for your bright future.
You are alive today.....you made it.....that is something to celebrate and to be grateful for.
Thank You..... Nikki and Lady!
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