To Grow... You Must Know Yourself

 

                                           "A wise man travels to discover himself."

You must know thyself.

You must know how you want to live, and then you must figure out a way to create the life you desire. 

To be proud of your decisions, you must stop worrying about what others think.

In today's world we are so busy wanting to know everything about everybody else. We want to know what other people are up to all the time. We are staying in constant contact with people we know and also people we don't know, through all kinds of social media, the Internet and TV.

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."
 - Aristotle


But in the battle of always wanting to know and learning about what other people are doing, we are forgetting one thing... learning about ourselves.
Learning and studying ourselves is so important, but instead we are studying everyone around us and a lot of times we want to be more like them. We want to fit in.


But the sooner you stop worrying about what other people think and what they do and start focusing on learning about "yourself" the better off you are going to be.

The sooner you can start to believe in of yourself and to make decisions based on what you want and what you think... the better off you will be. And if you need to change something... then just change it.
It is never too late to change and to get better.


"The true destination of any travel is self-knowledge."
- Brandon A. Trem

You can change. You can live the life you always wanted. You can live a life of your own design.
It starts with creating the rules for your own life. What you will accept from other people, but also what you will accept from yourself.

So stop following other people and their lives and dreams and put some energy into creating your own dream and vision for your own life.

Start Today!

"To find yourself, think for yourself."

- Socrates

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Stop Letting Fear Rule Your Life

 

                                   "Fight your fears and you'll be in a battle forever.
                                          Face your fears and you'll be free forever."
                                                               - Lucas Jonkman

Why do most people quit? Maybe it is because they allow their fear(s) to overwhelm them?

Do you ever wonder why some people that have already been through so much, all of a sudden quit?

Have you ever reached one of your goals... or you were well on your way to accomplish a big goal and when you were almost there... you quit... why?

Did you get overwhelmed by your fear(s)? 

When the sun went down... did you allow your mind to fill up with things that could go wrong in the future?

Maybe you focused on all the pain that you had to endure to reach your goal and how difficult that it might be to reach it?

The fear built... and built... and built!

And maybe you thought that you would never be able to make it? 

Maybe you focused on everything that could go wrong and then you convinced yourself that it would probably go wrong... and then you stopped and pulled back into your comfort zone, yet again.

You know what you have... but you don't know what you will get.

"Fear is an idea-crippling,

experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor
inflicted only by yourself."
-Stephanie Melish

TIP
Don't allow the fear to rest in your mind. Guard your mind constantly.
Another way of saying it... don't allow the "weeds" (fearful thoughts) to take root in your garden. You don't have to plant weeds... they show up automatically.

Learn to recognize the feeling of fear...welcome it and the say...
"Hello Fear... I don't have time for you right now... or I don't need you any longer"... and then shift you focus on your goal and what you need to do to continue towards your goal and vision.

Witness your negative thoughts.
Train yourself to move from negative thoughts. Stop feeding them as quickly as possible.
Counteract with a positive statement... something positive from your current goal or vision.

Don't allow your mind to get saturated in fear.
Notice it immediately and counteract with a positive more empowering thought.

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Stop Making Excuses

                          "Ask yourself when you are tempted to react in the same old way... 

                                                   Do I want to be a prisoner of my past

                                                               or a pioneer of the future?"                              

                                                                      - Deepak Chopra

A habit is an acquired, learned behavior that we do without even thinking about it. It's almost involuntary because we have done it so much and it becomes practically second nature. Some habits are good, but some of our habits are really bad and they will prevent us from reaching our goals and destiny in life.

Many of our habits that we've developed stem from the environment that we were raised in. If your parents were neat and organized, chances are that you too have developed a positive habit of being organized. Same thing with health and fitness. If you brought up living a healthy lifestyle including eating a balanced diet and exercising, chances are that you have established healthy eating habits for yourself and your family and you always include some kind of exercise on a daily basis.

Your habits, whether good or bad, will greatly determine your future. To become a better you, take inventory of your daily habits. Do you have a tendency to worry a lot? Are you mostly eating junk food? Are you spending your whole evening in front of the TV or on the Internet or FB? Do you regularly succumb to addictions?

The good news is... you can change. You can develop better habits. Most studies of habitual behavior indicate that a habit can be broken in 4-6 weeks. Just sit with that for a minute.
If you discipline yourself for a month or so, and are willing to suffer through the pain of change, you can rid yourself of a negative behavior, form a new healthy habit and create a new level of freedom in your life.

If you are willing to be uncomfortable for a while, you can press past the initial pain of change. In the long run your life will be so much better. Make a habit of being uncomfortable for some time. The pain won't last forever and once you develop a new habit, the pain will go away and you will enjoy your life a lot more.

If you have had the same habit for 20-30 years you might not be able to overcome these habits as quickly as you would like . But if you will make up your mind and stick with it, it won't take years to break it.

Just make a decisions. Make a commitment and stick with it... no matter what.!!!!

It will get easier every day and eventually you will do the right thing automatically. You won't even have to think about it. 

Just remember that it is difficult in the beginning to create a new habit. Often you will get tempted to cave in to your old habits, but you must not give in. Stay on track and focus on what you want and the outcome of your goal.

A lot of us will have plenty of excuses why we shouldn't change. We can find plenty of reasons to give up and continue to live the way we have always lived. There will be plenty of temptations out there. Just remember you can overcome all of those and just stay on your path to creating your new habits and life.

The truth is, in reality it isn't about breaking the habits as much as it is about replacing bad habits with good ones.

The key to success is to find something with which you can replace the negative habit. If you find yourself eating every time you feel stressed out, figure out something else to do. Maybe going for a walk or a jog. Maybe mediate or listen to some relaxing music. Just try to stay out of the kitchen.

Repetition is key in creating new habits. Repeat the new habit until it becomes automatic.
Practice makes perfect.

Remember your habits today will the create your tomorrow and your future. If you have some habits that you don't like - Change them.

Decide today to become a better you, and stick with it... NO MATTER WHAT!

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To Change Your Life... Change Your Habits

                                                "We are what we repeatedly do. 
                                       Excellence then, is not and act, but a habit." 
                                                                  - Aristotle

If you would like to create a higher levels of success in your life you more than likely have to drop some of your habits and replace them with some more productive ones.

I have read that up to 90% of our behavior is habitual.

Whatever habits you currently have established are producing your current level of results. In other words... your habits determine your outcomes.

There are two steps for changing your habits.

First make a list of all the habits that negatively impact your future. The ones that are not productive.
If you can't figure it out by yourself, ask others to help you to figure out what they believe are your limiting and non-productive habits.

Here is a list of some common unsuccessful habits... Maybe you have some of these habits?

- Not retuning phone-calls
- Procrastination
- Arriving late for appointments
- Talking over others 

- Not listening 
- Answering the phone during family/friend/spouse time
- Eating unhealthy food

- Drinking too much alcohol
- Staying up late watching TV
- Spending more money than you earn
- Gossiping
- Smoking
- Not having any goals

- Not exercising 

- Spending too much time on social media 

Once you have identified your negative habits, the second step is to choose a better, more productive success habit and develop systems that will help support them.

For example, if your goals is to become healthier and start going to the gym every morning, a system that might work for you is to go to bed an hour earlier so you can get going one hour earlier in the morning.

Maybe you want to start to meditate for 20 minutes every morning before the rest of the family gets up, just set your alarm for 20 minutes earlier in the morning and get our of bed and get your meditation going.

If you want to start drinking more water every day, put a sign up that says "Drink Water"

Some Food For Thought

What could you achieve in a year if you took on a few new habits?

Start today by listing 4 new habits you would like to establish in the next year. By systematically adding one new behavior at a time, you can dramatically improve your overall lifestyle.

Tip!
To be successful... Partner up with someone and hold each other accountable. 

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Invest In Your Own Personal Development

                  "Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, 

                                    time and energy needed to develop yourself." 

                                                            - Dennis Waitley

Why is personal development so important?

The best contribution you can make to someone is your own personal development.

If you become 10 times wiser or 10 times stronger, think what that will do for your relationships, marriage, friendships or business colleagues.

So the best gift you can give to others, is your own on-going personal development.
Get stronger, better and become wiser. 

"Contentious personal and professional development is your key to the future." 

- Brain Tracy

Self-development enables you to serve others better.

You will become more valuable to those around you.

Personal development will also increase you earning potential.

Always learn new things. Stop focusing on what other people do or don´t do. 

"Make personal growth a daily priority."

- John C. Maxwell

Put the focus on you. 

Study yourself. 

Learn about yourself. 

Start developing yourself. 

"Every moment of one's existence, one is growing or retreating into less." 

- Norman Mailer

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Find The Courage To Be Authentic

 "Never change for anyone, after you do, all they´ll want you to do is change again. And as hard as it was to change the first time, to give up everything you knew, and be half empty afterwards isn´t worth it. Don´t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you."

- Unknown

A lot of times we might feel that it is more important to be liked than to be real and authentic.

But how can we love and enjoy our lives if we are not honest and authentic?

How can we create something extraordinary if we are not speaking and living our truth?

We can´t.

If you continue to live a life without being honest and authentic, resentment will build and your mind and your heart and your whole life will be out of balance.

Stop trying to please other people. A lot of times it is an attempt to seek validation to increase your own self-worth.
Don´t be afraid to speak the truth even if you think it might cause some people not to agree with you or even disapprove of you.

Unfortunately we live in a society that are constantly telling us that we are not enough.
TV, the internet, magazines or social media are constantly letting us know that we would feel a lot better if we bought a certain product or did a certain thing... only then we will be validated and feel good about ourselves.
This will keep us in a constant battle and endless confusion and the result is a never ever feeling of not ever being good enough. 

Don't you dare to shrink yourself for someone else's comfort. 

Do not become small for people who refuse to grow.

Here Are A Couple of Tips!

The less you look for other peoples validation or approval - the more they will give it to you.
Learn to validate and approve of yourself. Then you won´t need any help from the world out here, it will come from within yourself.
And if it comes from within it can never be taken away from you.

Also remember that most people will respect "The Real You".
You don´t have to be perfect in order for people to like you.
Be human... it is OK. If you are going through a hard time, let people know.
It´s liberating to not have to pretend that everything is just fantastic in your life... all the time.

Be authentic. 

Express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs and your fears.
Share your experiences with people.
If in doubt... always be yourself and keep it real.

Authenticity  requires vulnerability, transparency and integrity.

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Excuses Don't Get Results

                                               "A comfort zone is a beautiful place, 

                                                           but nothing grows there."

Are you feeling fenced in?

How many of us are slaves to our past?

How many of us are not doing the things that we are really wanting to do because of the past?

Choosing is important.

The power to choose is the greatest power.

Yet we often fail to decide on what we actually want in life.

Getting in life is not difficult.
But deciding on what we want is tough.

We are where we are in life today because of the choices that we have made.
If we want something bigger in life, we must choose something different - Starting today.

Fear of failure is the #1 reason people don´t try to do things.

A lot of people will tell you that they didn´t get what they wanted in life because they were afraid to try.

To overcome the fear of failure we must have a goal big enough worth failing for.
Failure is great. You can´t have success without failure.

If you shoot at nothing - you will hit nothing.
Take a chance.

We must begin to see possibilities.
We must begin to see doors instead of walls.

It is not where you are, that counts. It is who you are.
You can change your life by changing the way you think.

TIP!

Take some time by yourself.
Decide on what you REALLY WANT. 
Start creating the picture in your mind. Write it down. 
Take action and go after your dream!

                           "A year from now you will wish you had started today."

What are you waiting for?

Tomorrow is not a day of the week. Start TODAY.

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Having Trouble Saying No?

              "Half the troubles in this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly
                                                      and not saying no soon enough."
                                                                       - Josh Billings

Are you afraid of the consequences if you say NO to someone?

Are you a YES-person?

Every time someone is asking you to do something, you are always saying YES... even if you don´t want to do it? You actually want to say NO!

Why do you always say yes to people?

Are you afraid that if you say no to someone... they will get upset with you?

Are you telling yourself that you don´t want to upset people because you are actually afraid that they won´t like you anymore?
And maybe they will actually walk away and leave you if you say no to them?

I have news for you... if you are afraid that the people that you say no to will walk away and leave you... let them.
If the only reason they are hanging out with you is because you always say yes to them, they are not worth keeping around.

A true friend doesn´t mind that you tell them no. They will understand and they won´t get mad and leave you over it.

The longer you wait to start to say no... the more pain you will feel yourself.

In the end you will feel much better about yourself for speaking up for what you really want.

Be true to yourself. If someone wants to leave... let them.
You will be just fine!

New friends will show up in your life. True friends that don´t care if you tell them no, if you don´t want to do something.

Make sure that when you say yes to others... that you are not saying no to yourself. 

                          "Freedom isn't the ability to say yes. It's the ability to say no." 

                                                                     - Anonymous 

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What Are You Willing To Fight For?

 

                                                 If you are not willing to do the work,
                                                     don't complain about the result.

We all want changes in our lives.

We want to be healthier and in shape.

We want to have more energy. Both physical and mental.

We often want a job that fulfills us and we usually want to make more money.

We want passionate intimate relationships with our partners.

We want great relationships with our children and our parents.

We want to have more time for our friends and for our hobbies.

We want to have more money saved.

And the list goes on and on.

So why doesn't more people create what they want in their lives?

It usually comes down to one question... Are you willing to the work that it takes to create whatever you want in your life?

Are you willing to get up an hour earlier so that you can go to the gym before you go to work?

Are you willing to turn off the TV or the internet and read instead so that you can learn something new ?

Are you willing to save your money instead of buying the latest purse or shoes?

Are you willing to cook instead of going out to eat?

Are you willing to change your eating habits?

Are you willing to start saying NO to people?

Are you willing to do the work that it takes to loose the weight?

Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone and do new things that will make you feel awkward in the beginning?

Are you willing to start a new business even though you don't know if it will ever be successful?

Are you willing to go to school in the evenings to learn a new skill?

Are you willing to find a new job that is more in alignment with who you are and what you want to accomplish in life?

Are you WILLING? 

"Everyone wants success... 

some try it, but few actually do whatever it takes." 

- John Assaraf

For anything to change in our lives... we must be willing to do the work that will be involved in making what we want into our reality.
We can dream and plan all that we want but if we are not willing to back it up with some kind of action... nothing will  ever happen.

If you want to change, 

you have to be willing to be uncomfortable.

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Don't Waste Your Time Trying To Change Others

              When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself,

                                                    your world changes for the better.

Has anyone been trying to change you lately?

There are plenty of people out there in the world that are spending an enormous amount of time and energy on trying to change the people around them, to make themselves feel better.

Women are very good at this. The minute some women get into a relationship or marriage with a man, they try to change the man. This often confuses the other person because just a short while back everything they did was great and then all of a sudden there isn't anything that they are doing that is good enough. Have you ever been there? I know I have.

I am sure that most of us have been on the receiving end of people trying to control us and have us change our ways. And I know that sometimes it might be a good thing to change something that we are doing or some aspects of ourselves. But we can never force a person to change by nagging and complaining about them.

I am sure that most of us have also tried to change someone else.
How did that work out for you?

We must stop expecting other people and situations to be a certain way, so that we can be the way we want to be and so that we can feel good. This is a very powerless place to be. In the end people have the right to be the way they are and you also have the right to be who you are.

If you don't harmonize with certain people, it isn't that they are wrong or that you are wrong. It's simply that you have different types of energy, values and beliefs and all of those does not harmonize.

There are 7 billion people out there.
If you don't harmonize with someone, you can always find another person. And don't change yourself just because you want to be in a relationship with someone because in the end that will suffocate your soul and you will eventually die on the inside.

Always be who you are and find the people that you are in alignment and harmonize with. Life is too short to be miserable with people that are not in alignment of who we are. Stop trying to change them and don't change yourself just to fit in.

You can't wait for people/things to change. It's a very weak and powerless situation to be in.
Take charge of your own life. Create a new story. Be the hero of your own journey.

                                                Stop trying to change other people:
                                          The only person you can change is yourself.

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