Betrayal Begins With Trust

                     "Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime.
                                                                It´s what unites us.
            The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens.
                                                 Don´t let them take that from you."
                                                              - Sherilynn Kenyon

Are you having a hard time trusting other people?

I know a lot of us have been betrayed and disappointed by people in our lives.
And it is especially hurtful if the person is very close to us.

Only through trusting yourself will you be able to trust someone else. 

The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. 

Life is about taking a step back, examine the situation, breath and then tell yourself...
If this doesn´t work out, I will be OK.
I will be able to figure it out and no matter what happens, I will be fine.

Life is also about being selective while choosing people that are the closest to you.
Your inner circle.
And also the people that you do business with. 

There are three sign of a hypocrite:  when he speaks he speaks lies, when the makes a promise he breaks it, and when he is trusted he betrays his trust.

Make sure you are choosing people who are good for you, and then you must trust your own judgment.
Learn to listen to you intuitive voice.

Don´t turn away from what is painful.
Examine it!
Challenge it!
Try to understand what it is here to teach you. 

"Even loss and betrayal can bring us awakening." 

- Buddha

Don´t let other people sway you in your defining moments.

Sticking to your character requires a lot of courage. 

The worst thing in the world is knowing you've been used and lied to by someone you trusted.

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Be You... Do You... Love You

                               "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line." 

                                                                    - Lucille Ball 

What are the most powerful words in the Universe?

The ones you use to talk to yourself.

Knowing how to love yourself is very important. Self love is at the core of wellbeing, joy and self-empowerment and your ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want.

You cannot enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself. 

Loving yourself can also be seen as self esteem. Self esteem basically means how much you love yourself.

Good self esteem is important because when is missing you don't respect yourself which usually means others don't respect you.

If you don't have love for yourself it is hard to give love to others.

You can not give away what you don't have. First you have to have it for yourself before you can give it to anyone else. 

"In a society that profits from your self-doubt,  loving yourself is a rebellious act." 

- Unknown 

High self esteem and self love gives you the strength to hold your head high, feel proud of yourself, gives you the courage to try new things, and the power to believe in yourself.

Every relationship you ever have with someone else exactly mirrors one or more aspects of the relationship you have with yourself.

If you lack your own love, you attract people and circumstances that mirror your negative beliefs and feelings about yourself.

According to The Law of Attraction we draw to us the manifestations of what we feel. So in order to for us to draw in loving people and circumstances , we need to know how to love ourselves first. 

"If you are searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror."

 - Unknown

"When people come to me with a problem, I don't care what it is - poor health, lack or money, unfulfilling relationships, or stifled creativity, there is only one thing I ever work on, and that is LOVING THE SELF.

I find that as we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works. It is as if little miracles are everywhere. Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships become much more fulfilling, and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways. All this seems to happen without even trying."
                                                                       

- Louise Hay from the book... You Can Heal Your Life. 

"It's not your job to like me... It's mine!" 

- Byron Katie 

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Spread Your Wings And Live Life Fully

                                                 "Until you spread your wings,

                                          you have no idea how far you can fly."

                                                                     - Napoleon 

Are you an eagle who thinks it is a chicken?

While walking through the forest one day a man found a young eagle who had fallen out of his nest. He took it home and put it in his barnyard, where it soon learned to eat and behave like the chickens.

One day a naturalist passed by the farm and asked... why it was that the king of all birds should be confined to live in a barnyard with the chickens? The farmer replied that since he had given it chicken feed and trained it to be a chicken it had never learned to fly. Since it now behaved as a chicken it was no longer an eagle. Still it has the heart of an eagle, replied the naturalist and can surely be taught to fly. 

He lifted the eagle toward the sky and said... you belong to the shy and not to the earth. Stretch forth your wings and fly. The eagle however was confused. He did not know who he was and seeing the chickens eating their food he jumped down to be with them again. The naturalist took the bird to the roof of the house and urged him again... saying... you are an eagle, stretch forth your wings and fly. But again the eagle was afraid of his unknown self and the world and he jumped down once more for the chicken food. 

Finally the naturalist took the eagle out of the barnyard to a high mountain. There he held the king of the birds high above him and encouraged again... saying... you are an eagle. You belong to the sky. Stretch forth your wings and fly. The eagle looked around backed towards the barnyard and up to the sky. Then the naturalist lifted him straight towards the sun and it happened that the eagle began to tremble. Slowly he stretched his wings and with an triumphant cry, soared away into the heavens. 

It may be that the eagle still remembers the chickens with nostalgia. It may even be that he occasionally revisits the barnyard. But as far as anyone knows he has never returned to lead the life of a chicken. 

We can see from this story that no matter how strongly the naturalist believed the eagle was an eagle, he continued to behave as a chicken until his own thinking and belief about himself changed.  

You can learn to think differently about yourself. 

Are you an eagle that has believed the lie that you are chicken? 

If so, it is time to get out of the chickenyard and learn to fly. 

You've got to spread your wings if you really want to fly.

Take risks

Try new things

Go places you haven't gone

Be willing to not know

Be OK with making mistakes

And you will go further then you could have dreamed possible.

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Authenticity - The Courage To Be Yourself

                                          "Never change for anyone. After you do, 

                                        all they´ll want you to do is change again.
                                    And as hard as it was to change the first time, 

                                                     to give up everything you knew, 

                                          and be half empty afterwards isn´t worth it.
                                            Don´t change so people will like you.
                               Be yourself and the right people will love the real you."
                                                                      - Unknown

A lot of times we might feel that it is more important to be liked than to be real.
But how can we love and enjoy our lives if we are not honest and authentic?
How can we create something extraordinary if we are not speaking and living our truth?
We can´t.

"Believing that you are enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic.

 - Brene Brown 

If you continue to live a life without being honest and authentic, resentment will build and your head and your heart will be out of balance.

Stop trying to please other people. A lot of times it is an attempt to seek validation to increase your own self-worth.
Don´t be afraid to speak the truth even if you think it might cause some people not to agree with you or even disapprove of you.

"Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self." 

- Mahatma Gandhi

Validation is fear based. Unfortunately we live in a society that are constantly telling us that we are not enough.
TV, the internet, magazines or social media are constantly letting us know that we would feel a lot better if we bought a certain product or did a certain thing... only then we will be validated and feel good about ourselves.
This will keep us in a constant battle and the result is a feeling of not ever being good enough. 

"You can't be your authentic self when you are hiding behind fear." 

- Susan Dascenzi 

A Couple of Tips!

The less you look for other peoples validation or approval - the more they will give it to you.
Learn to validate and approve of yourself. Then you won´t need any help from the world out here, it will come from within yourself.
And if it comes from within it can never be taken away from you. 

Also remember that most people will respect "The Real You".
You don´t have to be perfect in order for people to like you.
Be human... it is OK. If you are going through a hard time, let people know.
It´s liberating to not have to pretend that everything is just fantastic in your life... all the time. 

"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposes to be 

and embracing who we really are." 

- Brene Brown 

Be authentic. 

Express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs and your fears.
Share your experiences with people.

You were born to be real, not perfect.

If in doubt... always be yourself and keep it real.

                                                          www.karinglannstam.com